HI!! - insert frantic waving here - The only name of mine that your allowed to know is my pen name - Skeletal Dragon - and no i am not a goth or emo, no matter what my pen name or picture is. I like a good laugh, fantasy stories, fanfiction (DUH!) comedy and sci fi shows/movies and am a proud member of the United Kingdom. UK PWNS!! That is all.For now.

OOOOHHH!! Totally forgot something really important, its unforgivable to forget, REVIEW!! Dont read if you arent going to review. Also, review if you read, i dont care if its 50 years after i wrote it. I need to know people are reading, and more importantly, what people think about it.

Thats all until i think of something else. TTFN!

Far more unforgivable to forget, under threat of sue, I own sod all, except the occasional idea that insists upon being written. That is my disclaimer, and applies to all stories and chapters I put up.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir,
When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

The 10 Commandments of a Teenager!

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention it's cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection.)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect, and why the hell would you let yourself get arrested?!)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money.)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off.)

8) Thou shall not kiss boys in school. (Kiss them outside insted.)

9) Thou shall not worry about tests. (Just cheat on them: better marks.)

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave 'm in the middle.)

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!

Random funny phrases, do with them what you will.

If someone looks at you funny, flip them the finger.

When someone tells you to act your age, yell at the top of your lungs "I AM!"

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

Never suffer from insanity, enjoy every minute of it.

Remember that all actions have reactions... (You don't wana know why I put this in here, believe me!)

When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!"

While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

(Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

I'm the type of girl that manages to plan a whole world domination in Histroy class.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

It's us versus the world...we attack at dawn!

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.
If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.
If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep.
After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later
and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

Yeah I'm unique, just like every one else.

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off

Don't count the days, make the days count

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand apples!

Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow

Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

Amatuers made The Ark, experts made the Titanic...

Stressed is Desserts backwards :)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Where's the good in goodbye?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

We all smile in the same language

On the other hand, you have different fingers

I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!

My door is always open, so feel free to leave

Second place is the first loser

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I swear to drunk I'm not god

I am in shape...round is a shape

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor!

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.

Smile...it confuses people!

Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood

If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.

A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

Try Reading This:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FrevrnvrLasts, The Dawn Is Breaking, I-tAUght-BeLLa-THosE-tRICks95, reader13lovesbooks, SaveTheWolvesOfLaPush, warnesy-01

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile. (I don't even know who these people are haha)

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile (I ran into the side of a door... don't ask)

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. The only race is humanity.

I Love my Dad:

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile