Pen Name used to be Inuyasha-Kagome-fan-2010

Just my fav Reggaeton. The first 9 are my favorites. The rest are just some that I like a lot lol Click the link you kno you want to!! lol

http:///playlist/16788071435

Oh Yes and Im going to make playlists for my storys as well. So I will post those Links on here as well.

About me:

gender- female (woo hoo)

Sexuality- LESBIAN!! Loud and proud baby!!

eye color- greenish blueish gray with a redishy orangy color surronding my pupil

hair color- Black with blonde in the from

favorite book(s)- the whole Twilight saga, The House of Night Series, Some of the Harry Potter Books, uhmmm... Ill put others up later, since i finnally got a library card lol

favorite drink- Beer.

favorite food- PIZZA & MEXICAN FOOD lol

my dream- Finish out college, get my own place, and make lots of money either at being a mechanic or an electrician.

my likes- Motorcycles (I want an all black Ducati), Mustangs, animals (I want either a Siberian Husky or a wolf), reading, watching movies, skateboarding, BMX, people that speak their minds, people that state the obvious(that would be the coolest job ever!!), femslash (READ MY NAME, i also like Needy/Jen, and Carly/Sam or CAM fics -), food, Star Wars =), uhmmm... and others (does sly smile and laughs evilly, muhahahahaha lol jk -)

my dislikes- snobs, prepies, pep rallies, posers, greedy brats, skinny people who think their fat, homophobes (or however you spell it), and celery, carrots, people who think twilight is a stupid teen book(I will cut you), lint, cat hair (it gets everywhere! and yet I like cats!!), Jasper not getting enough lovin (Come on ppl the guy can make you cum just by being in the same room! Alice is a lucky bitch)(mmm Alice lol)…oooh and I love all you writers out there but GOD do I hate when it takes like three months to get a new chapter of my favorite story(I get twitchy and homicidal without my twi-fix!!)And i know its been like 3 weeks since i posted my story and i haven't updated it yet... im such a damn hypocrite but i've just been so busy with school and work. (I'm now a college Freshman and I work at UPS 24/7)

favorite movies- Twilight(Cant wait for Breaking Dawn Part 2), Zombie movies,Dark Knight (the Joker is awsome), All of the Fast and Furious movies (fast Muscle cars, my one true weakness lol their like sex on wheels!! oopsie did ii just type that? lol), anything thats filled with blood and guts (my other one true weakness lol)(go ahead call me weird or a freak I'll just ask you, What was your first clue? lol) Any Movie with Ashley Greene it (She plays Alice in Twilight) drools

team- Alice! But, I'll read and like any fanfiction - even Bella/Rosalie ones. Here are my favorites in order:

- Bella/Alice

- Jennifer/Needy

- Carly/Sam

- Bella/Jasper

- Edward/Jasper

- Bella/Rosalie

- Bella/Emmett

- Bella/Edward

My Views on the Twilight Characters

Edward Cullen

I have mixed feelings on Edward. Sometimes I love him and sometimes I hate him. I love how he loves Bella so deeply and is such a gentleman. But he's so controlling and thinks Bella to be this weak little human (I know, compared to him, she is) but she can take care of herself. Plus, the man stalks her - and watches her sleep. Don't get me wrong, it's romantic in a way, buts it's a little creepy. I mean, I don't know how I'd feel if some dude just hopped through my window every night and watched as I slept, especially if mentioned dude is a vampire that wants to suck me dry me of my blood. A little uncomfortable there . . .

But, I have a huge poster of him on my wall and he is hot, so I'm not a complete hater. But, I am more on the hate side than the like side. (its the eyebrows... they just kinda kill it a lil bit... lol)

Bella Swan

Love her! She's my second favorite character of the whole thing, actually. (and shes freakin hot) She's shy and clumsy which I think is rather endearing and she's also very accepting - to accept a house full of vampires is (I think) an exceptional quality - though I think we'd all accept them (the Cullen's/Hales are freakin awesome)

Jasper Hale

Gotta love Jasper. I love a man with battle scars . . .

(and a man that doesnt even have to touch you and BAM orgasm -) (now if only Alice had the power... mmm oh god... -)
Do you have any idea what i could do with that power at my school?? HOLY SHIT!! I could do Sooooo... many things to my teachers and ppl i hate and or hate me... hehehehe... lol

Alice Cullen

Alice is my favorite character! She's pretty awesome and sexy(licks lips yummy) with the spiky hair and psychic stuff going on. Plus, I like short people - I'm 20 and only 5' 3'' tall, so I can relate lol.

Emmett Cullen

Emmett . . . oh Emmett. The big teddy bear who bravely puts up with Rosalie. I think it's funny how he gets a kick out of Bella's little "Bella moments". I know I do.

Rosalie Hale

Ugh . . . cough-BITCH-cough cough

She is hot though . . .

Carlisle Cullen

You've gotta respect the man. Plus, he's awefully HOT! I usually don't like doctors, but I wouldn't mind getting a house call from him . . .

Esme Cullen

I love how (just like Bella) she accepts people for who and what they are and loves them like a mother would love their kids. Pretty awesome.

Jacob Black

Okay . . . EWWW!! Sorry but I just . . . ewww (shudders)

(I dont like the CHARACTER Jacob but the ACTOR that plays Jacob is HAWT!!)

Other Unimportant Crap:

- I happen to own a shirt that says "Team Newton". See, I think it's funny, but no one else does - especially team Edwarders.

- I'm a lesbian

- I have a really strange obbsesion with anything that has to do with sparkly objects . . . that includes vampires (ooo shiny)

- I love reading slash fics

- I happen to be extreamly wishy-washy (meaning I change my mind a lot)

Mom, I'm feeling so much pain right now
But I've already cried to much
Now the only way to let it out
Is by telling you what has me in its klutch

It rips my heart to say this
Knowing that it could hurt you too
But if this is the only way to speak to you
Then I guess this is something that I have to do

Mom, I know what and who I am
But unfortunately so do you
What hurts the most is not that you know
But the fact that you don't approve

It cuts me deeper everytime when
You voice your opinions of me out loud
I'd go to my room and scream and cry
Cause all I want to do is make you proud

Now, yes, I've made mistakes in my life
But, you know what Mom, so have you
I've learned from mine over time
Maybe you should start learning too

I always see you watching TV shows
With gay people on the main cast
You look at me with such disgust
But at the TV, Mom, you just laugh

Whenever I ask you why that is
You just look at me and stare
You'd tell me its because I'm your daughter
And you'd tell me its because you care

Well, Mom, is that not hypocrisy
To like people that are gays
But you spit in disgust when you learn
That your daughter happens to go both ways

Mom, I don't want to hate you
And I don't want you to hate me
But this void of pain is increasing
And its practically consuming me

All my friends accept me
and I was hoping you would too
You tell me I'd regret telling them
But the only person I regret telling is you

Please explain to me why that is
I thought I could tell you anything
But I can't and that gets me so pissed
And makes my whole damn body sting

Now, Mom, please - you must know
That I still love you with all my heart
Even though its crushed and breaking
Cause our relationship is falling apart

Please, Mom, hold on to me
I'm your daughter through and through
Even though what I am
Makes your whole damn body stew

There's so much more I need to say
But, I don't want to - you know why
Cause unlike some, I am a good person
And I don't want to make your pain too high

There's just one more thing you should know
But this is simply who I am
And I'm begging you to stop critisizing
So that you can learn to understand

By: Addison Rae (I Have Cullenism)

To everyone that needs support or has gone through this as well, feel free to post this on your profile along with the "By: Addison Rae (I Have Cullenism)". Let's do our part to stop homophobia within the family!

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!! =D

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are and add a stereotype to the list.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. (my spots reserved bitches!! lmao)
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. (JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A LIL BIT OF AN ACCENT!! GRRRR!! even though most ppl find it sexy hehehe)
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. (and i do have a drinking problem. but im a FUNCTIONING alcoholic damnit!!)
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (i hate it when people assume that!!)
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. (I HATE THIS ONE TO...)
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. (I hang out with guys cuz its less drama)
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (grrrr... must i say it...)
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. (WTF is that?? lol)
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (im white and i love it!!)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff (i do weed but i dont steal... anymore... lol)
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black (im not gonna say... im not gonna say it...)
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (i really really REALLY hate this one...)
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. (what a load of crap... I work THANK YOU!!)
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. (actually i have some albino in me which sux... but I LOVE the sun!!)
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. (actually this one is slightly true...lol well for me...)
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. (no i just dont like to fight... but Faith can and will lay ur ass out if it comes down to it)
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. (actually most of my friends dont now that i think about it... NO wait thats a lie... lol and i do it too... damn.. another stereotype true.. FML lol) By the way FML stands for Fuck My Life lol)

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (my sense of humor is perverted and a lil sick actually...lol)
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. (NO its just doesnt like to stay clean... i shower everyday!! lol)
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. (Nope, i just get defensive when ppl accuse me of shit that i didnt do)
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (all but the first and last one!!)
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. (sighs... load of crap...)
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (NO COMMENT lol)
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (im not... but... i will have teeth like one... hehehe... and eyes lol)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! (one question... how does that even make sense? Who the hell comes up with this shit?)

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. (oh. my. god. HOW DID YOU KNOW!! LMFAO JK JK)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan (Not Pagan but i worship him anyway... lol jk jk... only half of the time... like when its time for fun shit... grins evilly lol)

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (Im not really a loner, i just like ppl to leave me alone when im reading or in a bad mood, not to much to ask right? lol)

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI and YURI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish (only on purpose, its a choice, cuz i dont wanna grow up... EVER!! lol)
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. (I actually just recently found out im catholic... who knew.. i didnt.. lol)
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. (wait... is it ciggerettes or weed or both? LMFAO well if its both, it prolly doesnt matter does it?)

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. (I went out with a cutter once...)
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. (havent cried since i was 12, and im 20 lol)
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
My parents/parent was or are into drinking and doing drugs, so I must drink and do drugs too.
I'm not a poser or a goth or a skater or emo or a jock, so I must be a prep.
My favorite color is pink so I MUST be a prep who worships BARBI. (actually i hate the color pink... its my worst enemy lol)
I'm SMART so I MUST not have friends
I'm a LESBIAN so i Must burn in hell
I grew up with two homosexual parents, so I MUST be a homosexual too
I'm OBSESSED with fanfiction so I MUST have no life
I have been in lots of school fights, so I MUST be easily angered (I was only in one fight, against 4 ppl, i won lol, and it wasent even in school so HAHAHA!! lol)

I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP, so I MUST have no self esteem (no its just irritating..)
I wear BAGGY CLOTHES so I MUST think I'm fat
I wear FLANNEL SHIRTS so I MUST be a lesbian
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to dive between every girls legs and fuck her senseless

Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!” haha that happened once before...

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. tell me about it...

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit about the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmeme, AkatsukiReverie,EmoLollipop, Deidara-Kun-Fangirl, KillerLiger3000, moonlit fang, chibi kyuu-chan, Ragnorokrising, Nanbi shi, Team Alice-Bella,

comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted! So wish on you happy go lucky wishers you :P

92 Percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If your random copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile. (many times...)

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (in the middle of class to...)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, post this in your profile. many people actually...

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!!(wooo!!)

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when someone will come along, open you up, and eat your insides. (dont ask)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to ninjas and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

If people were meant to pop out of bed we would all sleep in toasters.

Voldemort, Voldemort, oo Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor". A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, Lady Sakura of the Fated,Soul Stance, Raven Wolfmoon, iheartmwpp, dracosnumber1girl, SMARTALIENQT, Luthien Saralonde, Xiaahandrus, Starfire-chan521, kittyore9, Emziiee-xxx, Team Alice-Bella

If you daydream 24/7, copy this to your profile.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. it really does I SWEAR!! its funny as hell sometimes to...

If you're obsessed with a character so much that you have dreams about meeting or fighting them, copy and paste this.

If you've ever pushed off a school project till the week before it was due and still got a good grade on it, copy and paste this into your profile. (woooo!!)

U know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password into the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Live Messenger/Facebook.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually look to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did

You cry I cry

You laugh I laugh

You jump out the window I look down and laugh some more

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

How to do Naruto!

Eat ramen for breakfast,lunch,and dinner (I have never tried it yet but I want to soo bad)

Stick your hand in a electric box and scream chidori as you pass out (I don't think so, but i would laugh so hard if someone did...)

Roll your eyes behind your head and scream Byakugan (oh yea)

Dye your head blond,black, or pink and try to run up a tree. (sounds like fun)

Trade in your hat for a forhead protector ( I have a forehead protecter!!)

Claim your gonna kill ur best friend 2 get a better Sharigan (Maybe...jk)

Copy everything a person does and claim its ur bloodline (I would... thats the sad part)

Graduate highshool and proclaim ur self as Anbu (Oh hellz yes!)

List Anbu as current occupation on a job application (I'd be put in the nuthouse!)

spout out a random character quote on command (lolz)

Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way" (Okay!)

When you run, you run with your arms behind you (I do that all the time with a buds.)

Try to walk on top of a hot spring (It doesn't work yet!)

When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage (Or to be priminister, that would be cool.)

Write your name in blood on a big scroll (Ouch!)

Take a leave of absence for 2 years and when you come back pretend you're cooler and smarter (Oh ya!)

You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand. (Hehe, Gaara of the funk)

You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain. (uhm... does mount rushmore count? lmao)

You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. (my friend named her dog Tobi...)

You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets. (I kept bugs in my pockets when I was little...I was a weird kid)

You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline. (OHHHH YEAH!!)

You always wear green, skintight clothes. (No way!! say no to spandex!!)

When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu. (Don't say it's stupid, it's a good excuse!)

You dye your hair white and spy on girls. (OH HELL NO to the first part lol jk)

You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage. (NO THANK YOU)

Some awesome quotes from icons -

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE

- So I was like Avada Kadavra and he was like Dead(poor Harry...)

- I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.(i would just laugh...)

- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret.

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar

- I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.(hehehe... man-period)

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort

- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape(hehehe)

- I will not scare the Arythmancy students with my calculas book

- Jesus was a Hufflepuff

- Dear Harry, I hate you, Love Voldy

- When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley. (hahaha)

- This icon is off trying to shut Percy in a pyramid.

-"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked infront of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy

-I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office (hahaha)

-I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!

-Professer Flitwick's name is not Yoda

-I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class (i would laugh so hard...)

-If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

-Neville: OMG I killed Harry Potter

(somewhere in the distance)

Voldemort: Nooooo! I wanted to do it! sob

-Draco: I mock you with my spirit fingers! (don't ask)

-I stalked a death eater and all i got was this lousy potions master!

-I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand

-I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing

-I will not follow potions intstructions in reverse order just to see what happens

-I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals

-I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween

-I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton (O.O oh good god...)

-Perfect ending to The Harry Potter Series: The Giant Squid consumes Britian

-Sirius Black

escaped askaban...

evaded death eaters...

outwitted ministry...

killed by drapery. (he had a good run)

-I have a lot to live up to you know. There are so many Gryffindors' to tourture, and my minions can't do all the work. That's why I need milk. Because, ferrets with strong bones bounce a lot higher. GOT MILK? Draco Malfoy

Home is behind,
The world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow
To the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow,
Cloud and shade,
Hope shall fail,
All shall fade.

Things To Do In Wal-Mart When Your Bored

1) As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

2) Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

3) Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

4) Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

5) Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6) Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

7) Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.

8) Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

9) Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

10) Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

11) Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

12) Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

13) Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

14) Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

15) Hold indoor shopping cart races.

16) In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

17) Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

18) Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

19) Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

20) Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

21) Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

21) Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

22) Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

23) Play with the automatic doors.

24) Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

25) Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

26) "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

27) Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

28) Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

29) Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.

30) Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

31) Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."

32) Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

33) Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

34) Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.

35) Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.

36) Take bets on the battle from above.

37) Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"

38) Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

39) Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

40) Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

41) Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.

42) TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.

43) Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.

44) Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.

45) Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.

46) Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

47) When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

48) When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

49) When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

50) When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

51) When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.

52) While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

53) While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

LMFAO I swear when I first found this via google... I though I was gonna pee my pants!! FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!Hope you enjoyed browsing through my profile. Feel free to read my stories and PM me if you wanna chat. =D

Quotes that make me laugh. xP

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

When life gives you lemmons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the hell you pulled it off.

You say psycho like it's a bad thing.

Change is inevitable..except from a vending machine.

You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half PURE EVIL!

Evil always triumphs over good because good is dumb.

'Up is down'? Well that's just madeningly unhelpful.

I'm going to be a bald bride! This is so not ideal..

If i'm not back in five minutes..wait longer!

You tried your best and failed miserably, the lesson is 'never try'.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench is wet with paint and he has to touch it himself to make sure.

I have better things to do...like watching paint dry!

God made us best friends because he knew our mom wouldn't be able to handle us as sisters.

Friends will ask you why you are crying, but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected, a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

Friends will always be like "Well you deserve better", but best friends will be prank calling him saying "You will die in seven days."

A friend know of the guy you like, a best friend knows all twelve of them

A friend will keep track of the guy you like, a best friend will track the guy you love

A friend will be jealous when they see you kissing a guy, a best friend will be overprotecively ready to kill the poor guy for it

A friend will try and find you a date to the dance, a best friend will be your date

A friend will tell you "yes you do look good in that dress!", a best friend will be telling you, in detail, how hideous you appear

A best friend is the one who can look at you with the biggest smile on your face and still knows something's wrong.

Friends will love your mom, best friends will want to marry your mom so they can officially be your father

A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumb ass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain, a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!

A friend will laugh at you when you play the air guitar, a best friend will be standing there next to you doing the drum beat on your head

A friend will know your favorite pop song, a best friend will know your secretly into death heavy metal

A friend would call you a retard, but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.

A friend will start talking like you, with a best friend it will make no sense when you talk

A friend will take a bullet for you, a best friend will be the one pulling the trigger

A friend will try and calm you down when your pissed, a best friend will be cracking jokes until your over it

You know you've got the greatest friends when the only time they make you cry is when you're laughing too hard.

A friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Sometimes I'm clueless and clumsy but I got friends who love me.

I used to be normal, until I met those losers I now call my best friends!

She's my best friend, break her heart and I'll break your face!

Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families.

I own none of those quotes, but I love them all!

Person # 1: Happiness is just around the corner.

Person # 2: Too bad the world is round!

Never knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and hide, he hates that.

I'm not afraid of death; what's it gonna do, kill me?

Your wierdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

WARNING: DO NOT follow in my footsteps...I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun!

Growing old is mandatory, growing up however...

Before you criticize someon walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticze them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

You see dead people, but I see regular people and it burns!!

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me!

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I am enjoying every minute of it.

I believe that you should live everyday as if its your last, which is why my room is such a mess. I mean come on who wants to clean their room on their last day?!

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver...

Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalks.

Life is like a pack of gum...I've yet to figure out why.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Come to the dark side...we found the Cullens!

I smile because I have no idea what is going on.

I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call friends

Therapist= The/rapist...scary thought

There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "I" in PIE, and thereis an "I" in MEATPIE, and MEAT is an anogram of TEAM...

I'm not paronoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!!

Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then for the rest of our lives tell us to sit down and SHUT UP!!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder while coming in a boat to save your sorry butt!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that I just got that happened yesterday

Isn't it funny how the word politics is made up of the Latin word "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning blood-sucking creatures?

What happens if you get scared to death twice?

You know its going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more then one night..."

I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless. Maybe.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt!"?

The dinasours extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed sicide.

Docters say I have muitiple personality disorder. We disagree.

I didn't say it was your fault...just that I was going to blame you

You can blame all your problems on my two imagenary friends "Steve" and "Candy". They don't mind.

I'm not random, I just have many th- OH LOOK A SQUIRELL!!

Copy and Pastes :D

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever run into a wall, door, window, or people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob D

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile

If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. (TO LATE!! lol)

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile. (alternative rock counts right? lol)

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you've ever fallen off a chair backwards.

If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile

If you've ever had a random spazz out moment in the middle of class or a quiet room, put this in your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I am perfectly imperfect. :D

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
"Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Annoying things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

- I'm gonna do that one of these days...

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) -

House of Night Quotes :D (I own all of the books YAY!! lol)

Zoey: "As your girlfriend, you've just pissed me off. As your High Priestess, you've just insulted me. And as someone with a working brain, you've made me wonder if you've lost every bit of your sense."

Zoey: "If I died, would it get me out of my geometry test tomorrow? One could only hope."

"Aphrodite makes us understand why women have drowned their babies." - Shaunee Cole

"You better listen to her. I counted two real cuss words and one almost cuss in that little speech. She's serious" - Aphrodite LaFonte

"Oh, yeah, right. I didn't even like Dr. Seuss when I was a kid. No damn way I wrote that poem." - Aphrodite LaFonte

"Hey, cheer up. Zoey's grandma didn't say the Raven Mockers actually ate people. She said they just picked them up with their humongous beaks and threw them against a wall or whatever over and over again until every bone in their body was broken." - Aphrodite LaFonte

"But we're little bits of vanilla and chocolate. We'd tempt even the nicest bloodsucking monster."- Erin Bates

The Immortal Shapshifter

This is the Link that will show you bella as a vampire and what she looks like in her werecat form, yeah its slightly different in the story but this will help you out in picturing it!! Trust me http:///albums/m381/inuwolfears/?action=viewt=Bellaasavampirewerecat.jpg

Chapter 2 -

Bellas hairstyle - http:///wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Kristen-Stewart-2009-Teen-Choice-Awards-676x1024.jpg

Bellas shorts and tank top - http:///image/Dude20cargo20shorts/Greystone413/CargoShorts.jpg AND http:///garments/plain-black-vest-bla-4623/top-black-vest-newlook.jpg

Okay ppl i saw the new Wolverine: X-men Origins movie last night!! YES!! and now i have another idea for a story!! came to me in a dream...lol...but heres the concept...

Bella was born in 1833...12 years before 1845 when in the movie Wolverine kills his "father" and finds out viktor (sabertooth) is his half-brother...its gonna follow the whole movie up untill wolverine looses his memory because for this to work the way i want it to Bella can't loose her memory so their tell me what you think...!!

Bella Wolverine

Bella's Motorcycle - http:///_dUCcSmVx1Do/SaGsbtwJOUI/AAAAAAAAAk4/BbFpxYUdW6I/s400/ninja_zx14.jpg

Bella's Motorcycle helmet - http:///acatalog/hjc-ninja-extreme.jpg

Bella's Leather Motorcycle Jacket - http:///images/huge/6_1_front_1_1000x1000.jpg

Okay okay okay... i know I KNOW!! i keep coming up with these story ideas and yet i dont post anything...its not my fault!! i keep typing and it doesnt save!! even when i push the stupied button!! grrrr... its so damn FRUSTRATING!! AND then I dont even wanna type it ALL OVER again until like a month later when I'm not pissed at the stupied software/program... GAR!! i just wanna... BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF MY COMPUTER!! ITS FUCKING RETARDED!! BLAH!! okay im done ranting... for now...

Oh and heres one more idea...lol -

InFamous Bella

Has anyone played that new game for PS3 InFamous? I have...and i beat it. My idea is that Bella is the daughter of Cole and Trish, but when Bella is 7 years old her parents and uncle Zeke are killed by members of the Reaper Gang in the Neon District of Empire City. She learns to control her electric powers on her own. When shes 18 she escapes the quarentine of the city and runs away to Forks. Not really sure what else to do after that... TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IN A PM!!