okay I'm a 15 year old girl,

I'm addicted to fanfiction, really badly. I will read fanfiction rather then do my work and it's subconsciously.

I have 7 pages of fanfictions that i like of twilight alone, and I will read books rather then talk, and it really pisses my friends off.

Things that describe me

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over

You say I'm not cool but cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

Friends: Will ask why you're crying.

Best Friends: Already have a shovel out, ready to bury that loser that made you cry.

Well...Is there somewhere in between? Like, where insane people are?

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your succes

Wisdom

1. If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before

2. In order to stand up for what you believe in, you have to be willing to stand-alone.

3. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

4. Everything is funny as long as it's happening to somebody else

5. Someone is sitting in the shade because someone else planted that tree along time ago

6. It will be okay in the end if it's not okay it not the end

7. Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone

8. In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.

9. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

10. Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

11. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

12. Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

13. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm

14. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

15. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

16. The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...'

17. The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up.

18. For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

19. Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.

20. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Things that I find funny/cool/awesome/you get the point

1. God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women

2. Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up

3. Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs

4. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

5. We women have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

6. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

7. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

8. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.

9. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

10. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, on to a little seesaw, and then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

11. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

12. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

13. My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

14. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

15. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

16. I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

17. It's strange, isn't it? You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.

18. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

19. God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

20. Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

21. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

22. Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.

23. A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

24. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

25. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

26. I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

27. My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

28. If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.

29. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

30. Football's not a matter of life and death ... it's more important than that.

31. 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.

32. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

33. Love- A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

34. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

35. 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

36. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

37. The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!

38. Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

Put Downs-insert any name you want!

I once shook hands with _ and my whole right side sobered up.

unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her next husband.

He'd make a lovely corpse.

said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'

­­­­­_ gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

Sweet Things

He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake, and said "I'll love you until the last roes dies."

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill too many people.

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

Try not to cry.

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Month One

Mommy

I am only eight inches long

But I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heartbeat

Is my favourite lullaby.

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Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

You could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It's so warm and nice in here.

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Month Three

You know what Mommy?

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

And I cry with you even though

You can't hear me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Four

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

But I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can curl my head and curl my fingers and toes

And stretch my arms and legs

I am becoming quite good at it too.

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Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

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Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy, what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP ME!

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Month Seven

Mommy

I am OK.

I am in Jesus' arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Mommy, why didn't you want me?

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Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped

Two more eyes that will never see

Two more hands that will never touch

Two more legs that will never run

One more mouth that will never speak.

One more heart that will never feel love

Abortion is wrong. People are here on earth for a reason, and some crazy mothers don't want their babies.

If you are against abortion copy and paste!! Add something to the last paragraph