A.N. I figure that since I have this chapter done and ready I might as well put it up and not prolong the agony. Leave a note and let me know what you guys think about the story! Would love feedback; and constructive criticism is always welcomed too. It's kind of disheartening to see that 300 people have read the new chapter but only two nice souls left reviews :(

But doesn't mean that I will deny you guys of a good read. (Or at least, I hope it is a good read.) Review nazi; that's just not me. :)

xx

BB16

I shuffled awkwardly in front of the mirror. Scrutinising the woman I saw. The hair was too flat, too much like limp noodles. Face- slightly pasty, could do with more colour, or at the very least, a subtle flush so it would look less two-dimensional and more human. Figure... a bit on the scrappy scrawny side; boobs seemed slightly deflated, maybe a little bit too much limbs...

Fuck this shit.

Esme had come over last night full of motherly concern and love. The moment she saw me she pulled me into a cold embrace so lovingly that I burst into tears like a fountain. Tears of all that repressed emotions- love for Alice, sadness, guilt, pain; all that stuff. I felt bad too, that I was able to hug Esme so freely, but cringe at even the thought of being close to Alice.

Esme reminded me of her. And though it was a painful reminder, it was a safer alternative for that moment. I needed Alice. And Esme knew that. She held me with tenderness and soothing words. I could see in her eyes the concern and love she had for me; I knew I was safe.

I told her all that had happened after that day. Though it was more like all that had not happened. She was a dear, nodding as she took it in, never cutting in as I rambled in a teary nonsensical mess. She didn't flinch the slightest bit, not when I burst into fresh waves of tears or blew my nose like a child.

After my reservoir of words ran dry she just held me. Held me in silence and rocked me gently, a mother nursing child. And I let myself go, my inhibitions gone as I lose myself in her embrace and pretended, just for a moment, that it was Alice holding me. And she just held me.

I asked her afterwards, whether she hated me for putting Alice through all these. For bringing such unwanted drama into her family. She just smiled with her golden eyes, the same golden eyes Alice has, and hugged me tight. Then she said that she could never hate me.

"You have brought joy to my daughter, dear Bella. And I can never despise you for that."

Her words brought forth another wave of tears. I felt like a villain then, for messing up, for hurting her. But Esme stopped me and pulled me out of the self-punishing world I fell into.

"You didn't ruin anything, Bella. Life just happened; who can blame you? Life is all about emotions. You live; you feel. You have been hurt; you retreat. It is understandable. Alice still loves you, I know, and she will always be waiting for the day you are ready to accept her again."

So all was nice and well, save for the dying sniffs and sniffles I had when I saw Esme to the door, I was ready to face Life again. But now, looking into the mirror, I wonder whether she would accept what she would soon see.

The doorbell sounded. I stiffened up. With a last gaze at the Bella in the mirror, I walked out of the room.

Alice was beautiful, as always. She was in a simple outfit- white top, black silky jacket with a pair of grey denim jeans. But it was her eyes that captured me.

"Mornin'."

She smiled in response.

"Let me just grab my bag and I'll be with you."

I hurried into the living room where my backpack sat waiting. But I didn't hurry back. I stood by the couch, staring at the picture in a gilt silver frame that was sitting on top of the coffee table. The two of us were laughing in the backyard of her family home, sitting on the grass on that particularly warm day, bodies touching. Esme had taken that shot when we were both unaware, and I remembered being really impressed at her photography skills, before letting my mouth drop open in shock after learning that she actually had the first model of the Kodak camera which came out in 1934.

"Bella?"

Her honeyed voice jolted me out of the memory, and I remembered Esme's encouraging smile from yesterday. I know I can do this.

"Oh, sorry; I'm coming."

The drive to work was a silent, but not an awkward one. Alice didn't press for a conversation, and neither did I offer one. We just sat in her yellow Porsche, with me appreciating the silent rumble of the powerful machine and the sight of her, so at ease with herself.

We pulled into her usual parking lot. She cut the engine, but neither of us made any move to get out of the car. Her petite hands sat on the wheel, and I silently marvelled at the slender curves and clean angles of her hands, knowing the power concealed within them. To create; to destroy. She had an easy smile on her face, flexing her fingers on the steering wheel, her chest rising and falling with habitual grace. I knew she was waiting for me to speak.

"Alice?"

She shifted slightly in her seat to face me. Her eyes meeting mine, she nodded to show that she was listening.

"I know I haven't been the same since... and I know you are not having an easier time than me. I just want to... thank you for your patience with me and that... I really like you and I will not stop trying to be better... for you. Please believe me, and don't give up on me."

I hoped she didn't notice the regression in my emotional attachment to her, but I knew she would anyway with her memory. And deep inside I was anxious for her to understand that I could not just say those three words again as easily as before. Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level now, transcending words.

Her eyes seemed moist, and I looked away to give her her space, though I knew she would not be able to shed a single tear.

"I will never ever give up on you, my darling. You know how I feel for you, and it will never change. Bella, you don't have to do this alone."

I could not keep my own tears in as she could. I raised my head to look back into her eyes, and the emotion I saw in them overwhelmed me. My tears fell, and a single drop splashed down on her arm, which was stopped in midair, tentatively reaching towards me.

Her gaze had followed that single drop down, and she smiled softly at the broken drop now marring her perfect skin. Looking back into my eyes, she silently asked for permission. I closed my eyes, hoping that my eyelids would serve as a dam for more unwanted waves of emotions.

I felt her cool skin against my cheeks. She traced the tracks of the tears with her tentative touch, before brushing them away with a smudge of her thumbs. And as though by some miraculous magic of her touch, I knew deep down that she was closing in. And I made no attempt to stop the kiss.

It was a gentle peck on the lips. A kiss of giving, whole-hearted giving expecting nothing in return. A kiss of assurance.

She pulled away. The air was suddenly hot in the absence of her touch. I opened my eyes to see her golden ones looking back. And in that moment, I knew. I knew that she has given me her all.