Poll: Which of my Skulduggery Pleasant stories do you like best? Vote Now!
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Author has written 43 stories for Warriors, Skulduggery Pleasant series, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Hey! So I obviously like Star Wars the Clone Wars, Warriors and Skulduggery Pleasant. I like reading and playing with my pets: Munchkin- albino bunny Winston- suicidal cat with freakish paws, extra toes Cinders- the cat of many names(including: Mewly, Mewson, Sir Mews-a-Lot, etc.) extremely annoying Bramble- fat and lazy, changed colors Asia- useless guard dog, had a pet possum for a week, breed: chow chow, sweet and fluffy I also like to draw and write, play music and read. You know you live in 2012 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.; 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace or Facebook. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job... 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did If you are insane but intelligent, put this in your profile! If fanfiction shut down and you would go insane because of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. Stupid Labels Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (When am I supposed to dry my hair then? Definitely not when I'm awake. That's just stupid) Bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?) Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion) Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (PRINTED ON THE BOTTOM OF THE BOX) Do not turn upside down. (A bit late) Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?) Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts and out of the driving seat) Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (I would hope!) Toshiba laptop: Warning: do not microwave. (Microwaved laptop is my favourite food!) Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...) String of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts. (May?) American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...) Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) Child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Does that mean Superman can't really fly? *Breaks down in tears*) Windex: Do not spray in eyes. (Why not? Let's test) Toilet Plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines. (You'd be surprised how many toilets there are around power lines) Dremel Electric Rotary Tool: This product not intended for use as a dental drill. (It's worth a try...) Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter: Safe to use around pets. (Really? I thought cats only go to the toilet right where you have to walk) Endust Duster: This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. (Yeah, definitely not flammable) Baby Oil: Keep out of reach of children (Anyone else see some difficulties with that?) Little Ones Baby Lotion: Keep away from children Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping. (Om nom)(Wait, would that make the ice cream awesome colours?!!!) Wet-Nap: Directions: Tear open packet and use. (How?) Stridex Foaming Face Wash; May contain foam. (Gee, I wonder where they got that idea from) Bic Lighter; Ignite lighter away from face. (Why? Will I melt?) Komatsu Floodlight; This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark. Mattress; Warning: Do not attempt to swallow (Well, I suppose 'attempt' is the crucial word) Earplugs; These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe (I would never've guessed!) Matches; Caution: Contents may catch fire. (They should stop making flammable matches) Pepper Spray; Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes Rain Gauge; Suitable for outdoor use only. (Unless you have a really leaky ceiling) RCA Television Remote Control; Not Dishwasher Safe Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption (Even for Finnick Odair and Percy Jackson?) Home Depot Treated Lumber; Do not consume Road Sign Caution: water on road during rain. (Now there's a surprise) Camera; This camera will only work when film is inside. Silk Soy Milk; Shake well and buy often (Such subtlety...) Air Conditioner; Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioner out of windows. Slush Puppy Cup; This ice may be cold Nabisco Easy Cheese ;For best results, remove cap. Heinz Ketchup Instructions: Put on food Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you Blanket from Taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado Cardboard windshield sun shade: Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place. Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Curling Iron: Warning: This product can burn eyes. Hair Dryer; Do not use in shower. (Tip; drying your hair whilst underwater is sort of pointless) Hand-held Massaging Device; Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. A toilet at a public sports facility; Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking. Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists; Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter; Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Toner cartridge for a laser printer; Do not eat toner. 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow; Not intended for highway use. Can of self-defense pepper spray; May irritate eyes. (I really, really hope so) Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"; Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth. A frisbee Warning: May contain small parts. A toilet bowl cleaning brush; Do not use orally. A birthday card for a 1 year old; Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less. (Now that's just sad...) Heated seat cushion; Warning: Do not use on eyes. Electric Cattle Prod; For use on animals only. (My brother counts, right?) Can of air freshener; For use by trained personnel only. (What kind of training do you need to spray aerosol?) Silly Putty; Do not use as ear plugs. Knife sharpening stone; Warning: knives are sharp! (Hopefully) Rat Poison; Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Portable stroller; Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage. (Ah, babys are pretty foldable.) Sign at a railroad station; Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (I think people would die of laughter as soon as they get within reading distance) Package of dice; Not for human consumption. Shipment of hammers; May be harmful if swallowed. Manual for an SGI computer; Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers. (Yeah, you could damage the mouse!) Box of bottle rockets; Do not put in mouth. Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack; Remove plastic before eating. Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean; Do not drive cars in ocean. Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert; Always drive on roads. Not on people. Bus Stop; No stopping or standing. Credit card statement; Payment is due by the due date. Laundromat triple washer; No small children. (But hey, they're so muddy, you can't actually see whether or not they're children) Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11; Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. Can of black pepper; Instructions: usage known. Car Manual; In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors. Espresso Kettle; The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position. T.V. manual; Do not pour liquids into your television set. (It makes Discovery Channel sound weird) Label on a hammer; Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object VCR box; Instructional video on hooking up VCR included. Toilet brush; Do not use for personal hygiene. Black rubber fishing worm; Not for human consumption. Furniture Wipes; Do not use for a baby wipe. Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet; This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision. Lawnmower Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning (Dun dun duh-dun) Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle; Do not open here. (Good idea! Why didn't I think of that...) Bottle of bathtub cleaner; For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. Container of lighter fluid; WARNING: Contents flammable! Box of household nails; CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation! Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you remove the plastic and unfold it; Direction #1: Remove plastic. Woolite carpet cleaner; Safe for carpets, too! Box of Frosted Cheerio's The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here." Container of salt Warning: High in sodium Hose Nozzle; Do not spray into electrical outlet. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you think these labels are stupid! 95 of people would go nuts if Edward Cullen jumped off a building. 4 would yell JUMP. If you are the 1 that would push him, copy this and paste it and put it on your profile ooooo 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, Linzerj,LionLover190, CaMaRoFaN14, Ironhide and Lennox, supergirlprime, StoleTheSpider, Blueseas17, SkulduggeryFowl, ValkyrieCain4Ever |
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