Skulduggery Pleasant and The Mentalist crossover. :3 I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS. I think in a way Patrick and Skulduggery are quite similar. I mean, they both lost their wives and children to muderers and they have both enacted their revenge. They both have a keen eye for detail and both have just plain sassy wit. SO HERE WE ARE. My OC (Lorelai Incognito) is mine :3 Please don't steal her. She bites. ANYWAY ENJOY :3

Plot: Skulduggery and the gang team up with our favorite consultant and the rest of the CBI to solve a kidnapping concerning Red John. But then a ghost from both Skulduggery and Patrick's past turns up and threaten to tear the investigation apart. Will they be able to settle their differences and get the cased solved or will Red John succeed in destroying not one but TWO of the world greatest crime-fighting teams?

Pairings?: PATRICK/TANITH and FLETCHER TRYING TO FLIRT WITH VAN PELT.

Rating: T. Maybe M for torture and violence. Let's just see how it goes. :3

"I BLOODY HATE DOING PAPERWORK" Valkyrie threw her pile of paperwork into Skulduggery's living room floor and sat down heavily onto the sofa. Skulduggery tilted his head but didn't look up from the case file he was looking over.

"Isn't there something else we can do?" She whined again.

"The longer we out it off the more we will have to do eventually." Skulduggery quipped. Valkyrie grumbled and picked up another file. After about twenty minutes of moaning, grumbling and a hat being held hostage the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Valkyrie shot up and bolted over to the phone but when she reached it she found she couldn't pick up the phone.

"Files. Now." Skulduggery tilted his head. Valkyrie stuck her nose in the air stubbornly but walked back over to the sofa and picked up the case file again. Blah, blah, blah. Just more people telling them how rude Skulduggery was or questioning his methods. She let out a annoyed sigh.

"You done yet?" She shouted into the other room. Skulduggery hand appeared around the corner and it waved for her to be quiet. "These case files may have a point about his manners." She grumbled. Then she stopped. Lifted her head up and listened hard. Whoever Skulduggery was talking to they certainly picked up his mood. He sounded cheerful so that ruled out another case. He was certainly not talking to Ravel. Also he was too cheerful for China. She just snapped that he was too happy and he quieted down. So who was he talking too? Letting it go she continued reading. Skulduggery came back in a few moments later.

"We have a case. Sort of."

"How can we 'sort of' have a case?"

"You'll see." Skulduggery grabbed his hat from the arm of the sofa, picked up the car keys and they left. Arriving at the Sanctuary and being told to go to a meeting room and picking up Fletcher and Tanith on the way, Valkyrie had been trying to squeeze information out of Skuluggery but he wasn't giving in. All he said is that they were meeting an 'old friend' of his. Whatever that meant. They pushed open the door to the meeting room and found Ravel, Ghastly and Madam Mist there but there was also five more people in the room. There was a tall, red haired women, a stern looking Asian man, a broad-shouldered man, a long haired brunette and a happy looking man with blond curls. He was the only one seated.

"I am assuming you are Skulduggery,Valkyrie, Fletcher..." He trailed off when he came to Tanith. He quickly shook his head, took Tanith's hand in his and kissed it. "And this gorgeous little rose petal just has to be Tanith." Tanith blushed and that's when Ghastly stood up. He coughed and the blond haired man let go of Tanith's hand.

"Well, quite enough of that. Everybody, this is the one and only Patrick Jane. And this is his team, Grace Van Pelt..." The long haired red head gave a small wave.

"Kimball Cho..." The Asian man just nodded ever so slightly.

"Wayne Rigsby..." The broad-shouldered man smiled.

"And-"

"Teresa Lisbon. Team leader." The long haired brunette cut in. "Sorry for my snappiness but I'm just eager to get started."

"Me too..." Patrick Jane flashed a smile that challenged even Billy-Ray Saguine's at Tanith and winked. Erskine coughed and everyone turned to him, Patrick still looking every now and again at Tanith.

"We have all called you here today because we are concerned about a certain sorceress's disappearance." Skulduggery lifted up his head and looked at the five officers.

"What's your people's magical abilities?"

"Skulduggery, they don't have any. If you would let me continue."

"WHAT? THEY'RE MORTALS."

"Yes Skulduggery, I called them here because we need them."

"We've never needed mortals before." Skulduggery shot back.

"We need them because it's a mortal killer that may have taken her." Erskine snapped. At this point Patrick had torn his attention away from Tanith and was now frowning deeply.

"Who?" He said.

"A killer you know as Red John." Patrick stiffened and Erskine continued. "I understand you and your team have some knowledge of him?"

"You...could say that." Whispered Patrick shakily. "If Red John has taken this sorceress then she's in big trouble. We have to find her fast."

"Who are we looking for anywho?" This was the first thing Fletcher had said in the entire meeting and everyone jumped.

"A sorceress known around these parts as Lorelai Incognito. She's a Necromancer by trade but, like our dear Skulduggery here, can switch between disciplines. She is pretty dangerous. She was locked up in the Gaoul with magic binding shackles, it's believed that this 'Red John' broke her out."

"So we're hunting down an ambidextrous manic who could possibly kill us all with a flick of her wrist."

For a moment everyone was silent. So Patrick decided to break it.

"Well what are we waiting for?"

HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED THAT. I WILL BE UPDATING THIS ONE REGULARLY (hopefully).

AND OOOOOOOOO RECOGNIZE A NAME ANYWHERE. ;D

ALREADY SOME TANITH/PATRICK LOVE!

Anyway, bless yo face. If you sneezed whilst reading this bless yu.

~TheCrimsonTicket

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