okay so my profile is long, but i mostly have alot of this stuff on her so i can look back and laugh cause i think its funny v

Elvis Presley is my soulmate

Gin is my husband,

Ulquiorra is my bitch,

Toshiro is my lover,

Grimmjow is my plaything,

Kensei is the one who will walk around my house shirtless

and

Shinji (my goodness how i love that sexy beast) is my friend with benefits

there we go... my Bleach love life is complete :D

Yes, I'm extermly weird, and crazy. I've gotten pass the whole denial part. Heehee :D oh!! and i love the smily faces!! (in case ou havent noticed ;] )

Zodiac: OX!!! boo-yeah!!!!!! (aries, for those who dont know the japanese zodiacs)

hobbies: Soccer, Skating, Swimming, Track, Reading, Writing, Playing video games, Drawing, Watching Anime, etc.

Fav Anime Couples: Inuyasha & Kagome, Sango & Miroku [Inuyasha, SHINJI AND HIYORI FOR ZE WIN!! Shiro-chan & Momo, Ichigo & Rukia, Gin & Ranigiku [Bleach, Amu & Ikuto (somtimes Amu & Kukai) [Shugo Chara!, Usui & Misaki , Haruhi & Hikaru [OHSHC, Miaka & Tamahome (alittle Miaka & Tasuki) [Fushigi Yuugi, Teru & Kurosaki [Dengeki Dasiy, Kyo & Torhu, Yuki & Machi, Hiro & Kisa [Fruit Basket, Rasetsu & Yako [Rasetsu, Soah & Habaek/Mui [Bride of the Water God, Cass & Reese, (Jaq & Marina kinda), Remy & Sion [Nightschool, and i'll just leave it at that, I'm too lazy right now...

Fav Kinda Books/Shows: Romance, Action, Comedy, School Life, that kind of love that starts out with the soon to be couple hating each other (or being best freinds). So... anything that has romance in it, you can count on me bein there!!

Some things bout me:apperently, i say math weird... yeah. dunno how thats possible, but according to my friends, i make the a go really long like maaath. I'm usually always on a sugar rush!! and the weirdest part?? i dont even need candy to set them off!! i can be cold, bored, or tired!! :D im acuatually prett good at racing games. i couldnt believe it, but when i started racing everyone i knew, and winning, i kinda had to except it... i come from a reall nice family, who always speaks clearly and stuff, yet i dont... im always gettin yelled at cause of it -_-' also, ive been drilled about spellin from who knows how long, and its the thing im worst at!! and im a HUGE country fan!! yepp, i love that stuff!! ive been tourtured by my older sister since forever, but the worst part is when she goes crazy (tired, sugar rush, etc. etc..) she is sooo creepy!! i get so scared -_-' Ah, yeas. I'm also a HUGE Elvis fan!! i love him and his vioce... *siighs* i was just born in the wrong generation... *shakes head*

Diego: The baby? Please. I was just returning it to its herd.
Sid: Oh, yeah. Nice try, Bucktooth.
Diego: You calling me a liar?
Sid: I didn't say that.
Diego: You were thinking it.
Sid: [whispering, to Manny] I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... "Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?
Igor: [pause, then] No.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?
Igor: Then you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby... Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?
[grabs Igor and starts throttling him]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you're telling me?

What to do on the elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26.Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Okay, take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

Did you know...

1) Kissing is healthy.

2) Bananas are good for period pain.

3) It's good to cry.

4) Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

5) 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

6) Lying is actually unhealthy.

7) You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

8) It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

9) 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

10) It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

11) Chocolate will make you feel better.

12) Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

13) A good friend never judges.

14) A good foundation will hide all hickeys...not that you have any.

15) Boys aren't worth your tears.

16) We all love surprises.

Your One and Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue,yellow and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday

If you are ever stuck in a horror movie, here are some tips on how to survive:

When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not go search for something in the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not speak, or if they speak to you using a voice which is not their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you the grief in the long run. *NOTE* It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone.

As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum or any other house of the dead.

If you are searching for something which caused a loud noise and you find out it’s just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take *anything* from the dead.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Don’t fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing.

If you’re running away from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, developing a fascination with blood, glowing eyes, foaming at the mouth and increasing hairiness, get away from them as fast as possible.

Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine.

If your car runs out of gas late at night, don’t go to the nearby deserted looking house to call for help. Likewise if your car has broken down, and the only refuge for miles is that creepy old mansion/castle on the hill. Stay in the car.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, smoldering irons, band saws or any device made from deceased companions.

Listen closely to the soundtrack and pay attention to the audience. They are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.

Never listen to music that contains staccato shrieking violins.

If you are a woman, never strip and take a shower in slow motion.

Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those wooden block thingies on your worksurface.

The first woman to either lose or remove her clothing is dead meat.

The guy with the testosterone overdose is also dead meat.

Along with the guy that is always making jokes

When you are searching a house because you think there is something dangerous there, turn on the damn lights!

Never back out of one room into another without looking. It’s always behind you.

If you are traveling with friends, never let any hitch hikers into the van with you. It’ll be the worst (if not the last) day of your life.

Never babysit.There are enough babysitter-in-danger-thanks-to-a-stupid-killer flicks out there already.

If you ARE stupid enough to babysit, never try on the mom’s nightgown collection. You’ll only end up showing more skin. Remember: Skin=Death.

If you are being chased, never lean against the wall when you think you lost him. He’ll just pop through and kill you.

Same goes for leaning against the window.

If you are at your Senior prom, and the school reject has just won prom queen, slowly back away and run for the exit. All hell is about to break loose.

Always remember — SEX=DEATH!

For Other Life Saving Tips

If you are a stoner among other stoners, be the quiet one or the lovable one. All the other stoners will be killed.

If the killer has stalked you over the phone lines, don’t take a job as a phone counselor.

Never let someone hypnotize you at a party.

Stay away from sewers.

If you sense something is behind you, don’t bother turning around to check. Just run.

If you are trying to escape the killer, sliding through the cat door in the electronic garage door will not help you any.

After you manage to kill the monster/killer, never sit beside it and cry. It will suddenly pop back up to finish the job.

Never go to camp or become a counselor. You’ll be dead by the end of summer.

Never say “I’ll be right back.” You won’t be back. End of story.

Don’t ever do something just because someone dares you to.

If you ever visit some distant planet and find objects that look like eggs, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!

Then when one of your spaceship’s crew members finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of breaking the previous rule), don’t let him back on the ship.

When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of breaking the previous two rules) NEVER wander off alone to hunt for the ship’s cat.

If someone tells you to do or not to something (example: DON’T fall asleep, DON’T go out there, DON’T go look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding psychopath by yourself) by all means, LISTEN TO THEM!!

A small town’s little summer celebration might sound like fun. But if you hear the locals say things like, “Why you’re the guest of honor! We couldn’t even have the barbecue with out you!”, run like hell.

If you are trapped in a house surrounded by demons, making coffee will not help anyone.

Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school.

Clowns never have, nor will they ever be helpful to hang around while in a horror movie. As harmless as the might seem, they WILL kill you once you let your guard down.

Never go back for anything you lost.

Avoid people with pointy teeth.

Avoid people with lots of facial hair.

Avoid people with pale complexions who sway and moan,

If the barber remarks on the “666″ tattoo your kid has, abandon the kid and move to Irkutsk.

If you see a burly man wearing a hockey mask and toting a chainsaw, DO NOT stick around to see if he’s with the Philadelphia Flyers.

Never buy your kid a toy that talks back.

Remember: Just say “NO” to human blood.

Never watch a horror movie while you’re in a horror movie.

Never, under any circumstance, plan a camping trip that coincides with Friday the 13th.

Pigs blood is not now, nor has it ever been funny.

If the young girls of the neighborhood start singing songs about bogeymen while jumping rope, consider moving.

If you hit a man with a car in the middle of the night and try to roll him off of a dock, make sure that he is dead!

Never EVER play with any Ouijia board that you find in the basement of your newly bought, run-down house.

Never run into a deserted graveyard at night,

If you are running away from the killer/monster, don’t even try to start the car. It doesn’t matter if the car is brand new, it won’t start.

If running from the monster/killer, try to make the least amount of noise possible. Especially if you are female. Panting, crying and screaming is not going to help you hide any better.

For pete’s sake…NEVER stick your hand down the garbage disposal. Especially if you just heard strange noises in your house or while sinister music is playing.

Don’t marry a guy that has Satan Worshipers as friends. They will want you to birth the new Anti-Christ.

Never answer the phone when you are babysitting. Just get the hell out of there and leave the kids for dead.

If you think you see your girlfriend/boyfriend and they are wearing a mask, not talking, or conspicuously hiding their face, it’s not them.

Don’t be mean to the new kid. They will just end up killing you.

If you hear a strange noise coming from upstairs that sounds similar to, oh let’s say a severed head falling to the floor, don’t go trying to find out what it is.

Never touch something that just oozed out of a comet that landed near an abandoned farm house.

When battling zombies, always sever their head or shoot them in the brain. If you they still want to eat you after that, just surrender. There’s no hope for you anyway.

Never wait until you NEED the gun to check and see if it’s loaded.

If you have to stay out in the woods or at camp you’re pretty much screwed. But at least you’ll have a fighting chance in the cabin. Never EVER take the tent.

Never try to unmask the killer.

Never hide in a closet.

If you buried your child in a strange place and he came back as a demon, DON’T bury your wife in the same place.

If you find the mangled body of a friend, camping partner, janitor, or whom ever, don’t stay and investigate. Run like hell.

Don’t spend a lot of time in houses decorated with an excessive amount of medieval weaponry. It will be used eventually.

Don’t make a documentary that requires you to hike through the woods while looking for a witch that leaves stick figures hanging in trees.

If you are going to the bathroom in a movie theater and you think you hear a guy and a girl making out in the stall next to you, don’t put your ear closer to the wall to listen.

If you see a short guy wearing green and wearing a shamrock hat, I wouldn’t stick around to ask about his pot of gold.

Never transport the killer in an ambulance from one place to another. Even if they’ve been in a coma for 10 years, they’ll wake up.

Never listen to strange voices on the telephone.

Never say “Who’s there?”

If your hand has been possessed by the Force of Evil, do NOT chop off your hand. Doing so will merely allow the disembodied hand the freedom to wreak havoc independent of your body. And now you have to spend the rest of the film trying to track it down,

If you have a feeling you’ll end up being chased by zombies during the night, remember to wear comfortable running shoes.

After babysitting, don’t walk down any deserted streets with lots of trees and bushes, but no lights.

If you are a girl with long blond hair, blue eyes and big boobs, well, you are pretty much screwed.

Always check the backseat of your car before you get in.

When running away from the killer/monster, NEVER run upstairs.

If you see someone who is within screaming distance while running from the killer/monster, for the love of god, SCREAM!!

If a giant shark is chasing your family, don’t go swimming. Actually, stay away from the water, period.

If you are babysitting, don’t let the kids play with the Chucky doll.

If one night you see a dark haired girl carrying around dolls with the eyes scratched out, back away slowly, then run like hell.

If you go to your school library and there are a lot of books having to do with vampires and demons…move away ASAP

If you are fleeing from a killer or supernatural being and you see a cop car, run right by it. There are three possible ways that things will turn out if you try to get the cops attention and none are good:

A. The cop is already dead in some gruesome way that will cause you to scream and alert the killer/monster as to where you are.

B. The cop will probably end up dead as he tries to help you, this will only distract the killer away from you for a few seconds, but chances are you will end up getting killed anyway.

C. The supernatural being has assumed the form of a cop and just when you
think you are safe…he will kill you.

If the locals say the camp is haunted, it probably is.

If people in your neighborhood have been disappearing and there’s talk about a surge of any type of insect…move. stubborn home owners always die.

When and if you fall while running and the killer/monster is near you, don’t just sit there screaming like someone will hear you. Get up and RUN!!

Kill the Scientist. No matter what else you do, kill him off right away. They always want to study “it,” or take “it” back to the corporate masters, or learn from “it” at the expense of comrades lives. Eggheads are always trying to understand the unknown, and get nearly everyone killed doing it. Get a clue, kill the guy with the pocket protector, he’s going to sacrifice you anyway.

If the killer is after you and you somehow manage to knock him down,
don’t get up and run for help. Believe me, he will stay down much longer
after you kick him a couple times.

If the movie is directed by someone named Wes Craven or John Carpenter, you’re pretty much screwed.

If the killer/monster is dead, don’t dig up his grave to try to do a final resurrection. He will only come back to life.

If you disobey the previous rule, don’t try cutting off his head or anything cheap. Stick a grenade in his mouth and run for it.

If the killer is standing three feet in front of you, don’t just stand there and scream while he comes running towards you. It may comes as a shock, but he DOES in fact want to kill you.

A female should never wear a white shirt without a bra while escaping the monster. It will only increase your chances of falling and causing a freak rainstorm that will make your shirt transparent and result in your immediate death.

If you live in Maine and your hometown includes a clown driving a car he calls Christine with a large ,rabid St. Bernard in the backseat, while residing in an old, haunted hotel near a strange Pet Cemetery and hangs out with teenage girls with telekinetic powers….you’re pretty much screwed.

If you DO happen to get killed, make sure it’s in a cheap low-budget gore-fest with no plot, so you can come back and kick ass, no explanation needed.

Stack up on ammunition. A lot of it. Monsters/killers tend to require enough bullets to down a small army. Tho for some reason you seem to be better off with handguns - automatic weapons tend to be regarded as hubristic. So yeah, lots of ammo, two or three handguns.

Never look behind you. Ever

Its not a bottle opener, its an ax.

If the music suddenly gets faster, start running.

If the music suddenly stops, start running. One of your friends just died giving you time to escape.

If you're in the desert and you come upon a rundown gas station with a creepy old man who spends his time in the back room, DON'T take his advice and use the "short cut" to the highway. Always follow the long, familiar road.

If your kid steals your lipstick and starts writing on the walls about strangely-colored alcoholic drinks, kill the kid and run like hell before your husband gets home!

If invited to live in a Glasshouse, don't make quips about throwing stones. Get back in your truck and return to your rundown apartment.

If a spooky voice says "Don't go in the basement". It's probably the best idea to not go in the basement. As a matter of fact, you probably just shouldn't be in the house.

If a naked guy walks towards you, don't even wait for him to ask to have your clothes. Take them off and run for he will rip your heart out.

If your roommates boyfriend is visiting that night, don't even bother calling home - they're both dead.

The barking dogs know all.

Wearing headphones while listening to loud music is death.

If you are a little kid you are guaranteed to make it out alive. You may need years of counseling after you a) almost got sucked into hell, b) are running from a robot more badass than Arnold even though Arnold himself is watching your back, c) were born to a dad whose buddies were Satanists, d) are staying alone in a creepy Colorado cabin in the dead of winter that's been known to drive people insane, e) were possessed by demons, or f) are staying at a camp/ in a house where the babysitters/counselors are being picked off one by one...but you will make it out alive.

Imaginary friends will always end up killing you or the child that imagined it. Or both. Always. Get over it. Or just kill your child.

When you believe the smell of blood is enriching and you have signs of "the mark of the beast", kill yourself. You'll save everyone from a really bad ending to a low-budget Horror.

If tall dark handsome men start stalking you, don't flirt with them, RUN!

If someone gives you a warning, TRY LISTENING!

Wear a cross at all times.

never ever stop at an abandoned rest stop after seeing a yellow pick up truck.. that can only end up badly..

never take a shower after almost escaping the killer.. you will die.

Never, ever go anywhere by yourself if you can help it, and don't go to the bathroom, cuz then the killer or whatever will just kill you there in some terrifying way.

Oh, if random people come up to you and they don't speak (or just grunt) and REALLY smell, run away from them; chances are, they want to eat you.

Stay away from children in general. Especially freaky little girls.

If someone looks like they've been deprived of oxygen lately, leave.

If there's a really cool house on the market that NO-ONE else is interested in and the selling price is way too low and the locals won't go near it to save their souls, don't buy it.

If you're stuck in a zombie or a vampire movie, stay away from the graveyard

Invest in cloves of garlic and silver weaponry...

Don't consult a priest. Chances are they'll really piss off the spirit and make things worse.

If you are one of a bunch of college kids who are incidentally on a road trip and (incidentally) your car breaks down for any reason at all... You're probably going to die a brutal death, probably at the hand of some genetic feak. Or if you live... you're going to die in the sequel.

Podpeople are not and never will be your friends.

Do not watch your neighbors, who maybe, kinda, possibly, might be a serial killer who has succesfully killed a shit load of people. Chances are, he knows you've been watching, and he's already killing your best friend. And girlfriend. And mom.

If your Asian... congrats... You've survived. (Unless your in some cheesy knock-off of a Japanese or Asian film)

Rule of thumb: If you are running away from the killer, run to the kitchen. There are enough pointy objects there that accidental deaths happen all the time.

If the killer was just "right there", but now is nowhere to be found, he's above you. Always. Don't look, just run.

Don't investigate the noise in the attic. Or basement. Especially if you know that people have had their souls ripped out in the attic/basement.

Ditto about the guns. Handguns are lighter too.

If you have ever wished that an anime character would come to life, copy and paste this into your profile.

-A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting
next to you saying "damn that was fun".

-A good friend will care for you when you hurt, a true friend will be
sitting next to you laughing their ass off at you.

-Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!

-The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the
pessimist fears it is true.

-I love Deadlines! I like the whoosh noise they make as they go by.

-Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back.

-In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.

-If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only
politicians left.

-Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes i have to wonder
if i'm a goldfish.

-A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could
blackmail you with it.

-A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend
has their phone numbers in her address book.

-A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens
your refrigerator and helps themselves.

When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks.

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. If You Haven't Died Yet Copy And Paste This Onto your Profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight:

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephanie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

How to tell if you're a (good) writer...

1. If you constantly talk to yourself.

2. If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself

3. If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person

4. If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!

5. If you live off of sugar and caffeine.

6. If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.

7. If you know what writer's block is.

8. If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random, or full of critisism.

9. If, when replying to someone elses e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.

10. If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.

11. If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.

12. If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.

13. If you memorized your keyboard.

14. If people think you might have A.D.D.

15. If you think itd be cool to have A.D.D.

16. If you have a grudge against Mary-sue's...even though you wrote a story with one in the past.

17. If you know what a Mary-sue is.

18. If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no apparent reason.

19. If your friends dont even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

20. If you go crazy over simple spelling/ grammar errors.

21. If you don't like critisism, although you are a critic yourself.

22. If you tend to dream about your stories at night.

23. If you write stories based on your dreams.

24. If you can recite the alphabet backwards.

25. If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.

26. If you can type/ write fast. REALLY fast.

27. If you write 1000-word rough drafts for your story, then erase it and write something totally different for the final.

28. If you know basic writer terms (ex: beta-, canon, lemon...etc.)

29. If you know what 'etc' really means, and know the elongated written version of it...

30. And finally, the number one way to tell if youre a good writer: If you failed English 101.

R

Ro

Ros

Rose

Rose H

Rose Ha

Rose Hat

Rose Hath

Rose Hatha

Rose Hathaw

Rose Hathawa

Rose Hathaway a

Rose Hathaway an

Rose Hathaway and

Rose Hathaway and D

Rose Hathaway and Di

Rose Hathaway and Dim

Rose Hathaway and Dimi

Rose Hathaway and Dimit

Rose Hathaway and Dimitr

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri B

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Be

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Bel

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Beli

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belik

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Beliko

Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov

Ways to reject a guy:

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

If you are on the dark side (Where the cookies and milk are), copy and paste this to your profile.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away
Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Your misery=My joy
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
When you say I'm lost, I'm not, you just can't find your way back home -Riku-
When you observe peple, to the point where you can't stop, you tear yourself away from me -Riku-
Roses are red, Violets are blue; When god gave brains, where the hell were you!? -Charlie Keira Black109-
Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if i pray for strength I'll beat him to death. -Charile Kerlia Black109-
"Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!"
“Trying to forget someone you love, is like trying to remember someone you never knew.”
"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
"Not all who wander are lost."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."
"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art."
"Perfect men are only fictional."
"Pain is inflicted on those who have a heart."
"I suffer from CRS (Can't Remember Shit)."
"I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die."
"The one thing worse than a boy that hates you: a boy that loves you."
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on."
"So much good, so much evil. Just add water."
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't."
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself."
"When life offers you a dream so far beyond your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end." - Twilight, I do believe..
"Being brave is not fearless, but instead being able to face what you fear most."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
"..because there will never truly be a 'perfect world' here." - XForgottenxMemoryX.. yes, because I'm that depressing.
"..and where the darkness ends, the light begins." - XForgottenxMemoryX.. again. Another random, unfinished quote.
"If you truly love someone, you need to learn to let them go."
"If you know me, chances are you hate me."
"Sometimes the hardest part about loving someone is learning to let them go."
"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can still break."
"We all strive to die just to feel alive." - ..who was that again? A fanfiction author..
"The easiest way to kill yourself is to love someone who doesn’t love you back." - Another fanfic author.
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." - Brendan Gill
"Forbidden to remember; terrified to forget. It's a hard line to walk." - Bella Swan
"No matter how gifted, you alone cannot change the world." - L Lawliet, Death Note: L Change the World
“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter." - Lemony Snicket
"No matter how much you feel it in your heart, if you don't tell the person then it's meaningless." - Usami Fuyuhiko
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks
"We appreciate light because we have been in darkness." - David Weatherford
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr.
"The only thing that I know is that I don't know anything." - Socrates
"So what exactly does freedom mean, if I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be ..." - Divide, Disturbed
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
"The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you."
"Stand up for what you think is right, even if you're standing alone."
"Death is God's way of saying 'you're fired.' Suicide is Mankind's way of saying 'you can't fire me, I quit.'"
If you don't like my driving, then get the hell off this sidewalk!
Learn the rules so that you can break them properly.
You have the right to remain silent so SHUT UP!
We lie to ourselves as a shield, because the truth hurts like shit.
Therapist = the/rapist. . . . a scary thought...
Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "Mother In-Law," they come out as "Woman Hitler"?
Isn't it funny that politics is made up of "poli," which means "many," and "tics," as in "bloodsucking creatures"?
"I love you" is eight letters. So is "bullshit."
“The guilty one is not he who commits the sins, but the one who causes the darkness.”- Victor Hugo
“We gain the strength of the temptation we resist.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“A wound, a red badge of courage.”- Stephen Crane
“Pleasure is the bait of sin.”- Anonymous
"...Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old. It feels like I'm starting all over again...You were the one I love, the one thing I tried to hold onto."-Michelle Branch
"So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares."-Michelle Branch
"I know how it feels to be completely alone and helpless, and the last thing you want to hear in that situation is, 'It's going to be OK.' The only thing that seems to really help is that someone else who has felt that low expressing those feelings to you."-Amy Lee
"Nobody's perfect. I'm perfectly flawed."-Amy Lee
There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.
-Douglas Everett
It takes someone great to give me a real smile on my face. It takes someone even greater to make you cry. - Littlewhisker
Everyone in life is going to hurt you. But it's up to you to find out which ones are worth the pain.
When it hurts to look behind you and you're scared to look ahead, look beside you and I'll be there.
It's better to be hated for something you are than be loved for something you are not.
When the world says "Give up", hope whispers "Try it one more time".
Life and Death are on one thread, the same line viewed from different sides
Success is getting up one more time than you fall.
"I get chased by dogs once a week and you're asking me if I CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!?" - WantingFreedom