“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” - Terry Pratchett

"I'd be a sugar daddy, but it turns out to be a variant of prostitution. I'm nothing if not a good guy. Maybe."

"When I die, I want to die peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years too late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams."

"Life is just random chaos, and then you die."

Hey, the name's Barryium. I could talk about how much I love writing, or reading, but I'm pretty sure that that's already a given. I mean, if you don't like reading, then you probably shouldn't be on this website... On this site, I used to just read Harry Potter fan fiction, but don't really read that fandom anymore. I now mostly just read Naruto fanfiction. I'm a fan of guilty pleasures. I've written my own SI/OC Naruto fanfic so check it out if you have a spare moment. :)

Status Update: 22 June 2017: Dearest readers, Chapter 15 of Depth has been uploaded! Woo~

Stories I am currently working on:

Lost Chances (Hiatus)

Twisted (Hiatus)

Depth (In-Development): A semi-SI/OC about a PhD student who is reborn into the Narutoverse to find that her reincarnation might not be as random as she originally believed.

Renegade Red (In-Development): An Avengers OC story about a talented hacker with a dubious family history who is brought in to help SHIELD and the Avengers.

Untitled Game of Thrones fanfic (In-Development):

Another Untitled Game of Thrones fanfic (Early Planning Stages):

And I Shall Be Invincible (Early Planning Stages): A Flash/Arrow story about a young woman who tries to save the city she loves after gaining powers from the Particle Accelerator Explosion in Central City--only, she finds that she is being labelled a super villain in the process.

Pairings that I ship:

Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger (obviously)

Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle Jnr. (it's a recent thing)

Hermione Granger/Oliver Wood (Don't give me that look, there's a few good ones out there)

Sakura Haruno/Kakashi Hatake (from Naruto anime - don't judge me, it's my OTP)

Sub-pairings I like:

Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley

Blaise Zabini/Luna Lovegood

Ron Weasley/Pansy Parkinson

Pairing that should probably be sunk:

Hermione Granger/Severus Snape (He's like thirty years older than her! No thank-you)

Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley (Yes, I'm sure that it's a nice pairing but Draco belongs with Hermione)

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy (Just too weird - sorry, I know that there's a lot of Drarry fans out there. But it's just not my cup of tea. And I don't even like tea)

Harry Potter/Severus Snape (I'm not going to say ANYTHING more about this)

Albus Dumbledore/Dobby (I saw it in passing. Freaked me out. I mean - is that even legal?)

Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Lestrange (O.O)

How to write good Fanfiction:

Reread through the chapter before updating.

It’s Blaise Zabini NOT Blaise Zambini. He’s supposed to be Italian, not African.

For Draco/Hermione pairings do not put a star-crossed lovers spin to the story more than is necessary. It’s way too overdone.

For the love of God, in your summary do not write “I suck at summaries”. If anything, it makes more people just skip past it without reading.

Don’t force to only update if people review. People are online to read the stories, reviewing is optional for a reason.

Please, please, please don’t try to make characters too OOC. I mean, you can change them to a certain degree but not excessively so. For example, I once read a HP fanfiction where Hermione found out that she was actually adopted and was really a pureblood (LAME, but anyways...) and then she acted as if her parents (the people who had changed her nappies, fed her for her whole life, etc) had been the ones to betray HER, and she began to hate them. Like, what? Obviously the author had some angst issues with their parents...

For the sake of professionalism, do not include an OC that is yourself. Trust me, good readers can tell.

BEWARE OF THE MARY-SUE!!!

Actually plan out what is going to happen in the story before you begin writing. It’s a good idea to also know how it’s going to end. Don’t just write straight out of your head if you intend to finish your fanfiction.

For God’s sake, KNOW THE FACTS!!! So many HP fanfictions authors that I’ve read do not really know what’s going on. Some haven’t even read the books (which is fine, so long as you know what’s going on). I’ve seen fanfictions where people think Hermione is a halfblood, or some others where they don’t even know what a halfblood is.

Use the right terminology. Example: if writing from Hermione’s perspective, do not let her refer to herself as a “mudblood” (the word “mudblood” is an insult) – instead use “muggleborn”. The same applies to her friends. Only use the word “mudblood” as a derogatory word.

Don't romanticise. Calling 'eyes' 'orbs' instead is just weird, how many people do you know refer to your eyes as orbs. Like, really? -.-

Naruto Quiz:

Order your top 12 favourite characters in order:

1. Kakashi

2. Sakura

3. Gaara

4. Yamato

5. Tobito

6. Shikamaru

7. Anko

8. Darui

9. Tsunade

10. Zabuza

11. Kiba

12. Konan

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? (Shikamaru/Kiba)

No, I have not. I don't think their personalities mesh well.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? (Yamato)

Wow, this is awkward. Umm, I guess? And how does one exactly measure attractiveness?

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? (Konan and Darui)

If Konan got Darui pregnant there would be a lot of awkward questions, such as: "How can a male get pregnant?", etc. Tsunade herself would probably have to be the midwife...

4) Do you recall any fanfics about Nine? (Tsunade)

I haven't read any.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? (Sakura and Shikamaru)

I usually pair Sakura with a lot of people, but Shikamaru is not one of them. I just don't think that their relationship would work out, Shikamaru's too lazy to put any effort into a relationship, I'm sure.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? (Tobito/Tsunade or Tobito/Zabuza)

These are both horrible options. Neither. I choose neither!

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing? (Anko and Sakura/Konan)

"Woo! Can I join in?" (We all know Anko is a bit of a sexual deviant)

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fanfic? (Gaara/Zabuza)

They were just tools - these people - just a means to an end. He would manipulate and intimidate them into submission with unwavering certainty. They called him a monster - a demon of the Sand. But they didn't understand. They didn't know what it was like to be different - to be different. Nobody befriends a demon. Unless you are one already...

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? (Kakashi/Darui)

No, I daresay that there is very little chance of that. Darui is only a relatively small and recent character.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. (Anko/Konan)

Snakes and Paper Ladders

11) Does anyone on your friends list read Three fics? (Gaara)

I don't have any friends… _

12) Does anyone you know write or draw Eleven? (Kiba)

Nope.

13) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? (Sakura/Yamato/Tobito)

No. But I would definitely be interested in reading a well-written one!!

14) What might Ten scream at a moment of passion? (Zabuza)

"WATER STYLE: WATER DRAGON JUTSU!!!"

15) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? (Darui)

Apologise by [I can't remember :(]

16) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? (Kakashi/Shikamaru/Konan)

Violence (I can only imagine these three meeting on the battlefield).

17) What would be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? (Zabuza and Sakura)

"Hey girl, I've got a really big sword. I'll show it to you sometime… How about now?"

18) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? (Kiba and Sakura/Darui)

"She'd be better off with a Leaf shinobi… Like me."

19) How emo is Seven? (Anko)

On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being happy Naruto and 10 being the majority of Sasuke's cameos) I'd say about a 2.5...

Thanks for reading ;D