Hi. I'm alsdssg. The als part is my intitials. Won't tell you what the last part says; it might scare you. Lol. Not really. I just like secrets.

Real name: Ally

Hair color: dark brown

Eye color: ditto

Age: 16

People Whose Names Will Remain with Me until the Day I Die

1. The inventor of the nickname "Mione" (Hermione)

2. The inventor of the nickname "Tag" and all its variations (Murtagh)

3. The first person to screw biology and surrogates and write m-preg

4. Half the shippers in the Harry Potter fandom

5. xxxbloodyrists666xxx aka Tara aka Tata

6. The person who decided that if people have to be OOC for the fan fic to work, all the author's hard work in characterizing them can go to hell

7. The first Suethor

8. The first crack shipper

9. The first slasher

10. The inventor of the nickname "Pad" (Sirius or Padfoot)

11. The person who decided there are wrong places to have curves

12. The people who believe that chatspeak is just as good as English

13. The first person who failed to understand that skinny people are flat-chested

14. The first troll

15. The first Sue-basher

Quotes:

"Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky.

Seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone.

Nine for mortal men doomed to die.

And one ring for the dark lord on his dark throne

In the land of Mordor where the shadow lie.

One ring to rule them all.

One ring to find them.

One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

-Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by: J.R.R. Tolkien

"To someone who has lived as long as Flammel, death is like going to sleep after a very, very long, hard day."

-Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone by: J.K. Rowling

"You two are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."

"You know what, George? I don't think we are."

-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by: J.K. Rowling

"Down the rivers dim expanse

Like some bold seer in a trance

Seeing all his own mischance

With a glassy countenance

Did she look to Camelot.

And at the closing of the day

She loosed the chain, and down she lay.

The broad stream bore her far away,

The Lady of Shalott."

The Lady of Shalott by: Alfred, Lord Tennyson

A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

-- Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

"At Tara in this fateful hour,

I call upon all heaven with it's power,

And the sun with its brightness,

And the snow with its whiteness,

And the lightening with its rapid wrath,

And the winds with the swiftness along its path,

And the sea with its deepness,

And the rocks with their steepness,

And the earth with its starkness.

All these I place,

With God's almighty help and grace

Between myself and the power of darkness."

-A Swiftly Tilting Planet by: Madeleine L'Engel.

"Descended from the apes! My dear, let us hope that it is not true, but if it is, let us pray that it not become generally known."

-The alarmed wife of the Bishop of Worcester, upon hearing about Charles Darwin's The Origin of the Species.

"When the dead do walk, seek the water's run

For this the dead will always shun.

Swift river's best or broadest lake

To ward the dead and haven make.

If water fails thee, fire is thy friend.

If neither guards, it will be thy end."

-Lirael by Garth Nix

"Does the walker choose the path or the path the walker?"

-Sabriel by Garth Nix

"Five charters bind the land,

Together linked hand in hand.

One is in the people who wear the crown,

Two in the folk who keep the dead down,

Three and five in stone and mortar,

Four sees all in frozen water."

-Sabriel by Garth Nix

"I shall not die of a cough."

"True--true."

-The Cask of Amantillado by Edgar Allen Poe

"All my stories are true. Some are more true than others."

-My totally awesome biology teacher

"Nemo me impune lacessit." ("No one attacks me and is unpunished.")

-The Cask of Amantillado by Edgar Allen Poe

"Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."

-Grace, in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"I don't trust this kid any farther than I can throw him."

"Well, with your bad knee, Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody."

-Ed Rooney and Grace in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away? Neither would I."

-Ferris Bueller, in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"I do have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. They could be facist anarchists for all I care. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't have a car."

-Ferris Bueller, in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced "egregious". By the way, no, I've never met Pizzaro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?"

-Jack Sparrow, in Pirates of the Caribbean III: At World's End

"It's not I'm anti-social. I'm only anti-work."

-Riff, West Side Story

"Puerto Rico, my heart's devotion--

Let it sink back into the ocean."

-Anita, West Side Story

"The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass. The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass."

-Oscar Wilde in a Picture of Dorian Gray

"The grasshopper! Be careful of the grasshopper! A grasshopper does not only turn; it hops. It hops! And it hops jolly high!

-Erik, Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux

"No one can say that my sister does not love her family."

-Tyrion Lannister, A Clash of Kings by George RR Martin

"Which one of you is Beric Dondarion?"

"Why, that would be me."

"You're a bloody liar, Jack. It's my turn to be Lord Beric."

-Merrett Frey, Jack-Be-Lucky, Lem Lemoncloak, A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

"Let me play the fool.

With mirth and laughter, let old wrinkles come."

-Gratiano in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice

"My sweet silly jealous wife, I've only loved one woman, I promise you."

"Only one? Oh Petyr, do you swear it? Only one?"

"Only Cat."

Petry Baelish and Lysa Arryn, A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

"Get away from my daughter, you bitch!"

-Molly Weasley from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling

"And standing there in the great hall of Rouen's royal castle Stephen suddenly realized a very unpalatable truth: that most men may recognize him as England's king, but they no longer saw him as a man of honour."

-Stephen of Blois's thoughts in When Christ and His Saints Slept by Sharon K. Penman

"I've known men who put their lives at peril for gold or for lust, and occasionally even for love. But you, lad, are the very first to risk the gallows for a woman's wool garment--and with the woman not even in it!"

-Stephen of Blois in When Christ and His Saints Slept by Sharon K. Penman

"He was a mild man, gentle and good, and did no justice."

-a contemporary chronicler on King Stephen of England

"Ciraud Berlai is my seneschal. How dare you drag him before me in chains?"

"I think I've shown admirable restraint. I did not hang him, did I?'

Louis VII Capet and Geoffrey le Bel in When Christ and His Saints Slept by Sharon K. Penman

Stories:

Beautiful Disaster: Complete. It was a one-shot. I love Murtagh/Nasuada more than any other pairing. It was also written while I was iming three friends and watching t.v.

Big Yellow Taxi: Ditto. I write Nasuada much better than I write Murtagh, I think.

Crazy: Complete. A moment of sheer, sugar-high inspiration (if you wanna call it inspiration).

He Thinks He Loves Me: Complete. I like writing poetry, and I don't think Eragon really loves Arya. I also don't think she thinks he loves her.

Lament for Cittagazze: Complete. How can you not feel a little pity for those people there?

Naive Awareness: Complete. The new rider fic of which I am guilty. I tried to make it as unique as possible. I'm not sure how great a job I did. It's on 37 favorites lists. I've only gotten reviews from about half of them though. Really quite funny when you think about it.

She Says: Complete. I love the song, so I decided to write from Faolin's P.O.V. since I didn't think it had ever been done before.

The Destruction of Voldy and the Sixth Horcrux: Complete. I had to make fun of Harry Potter, my all time favorite book ever. I seriously dressed up with my friend and her cousin and went to the book party. I'm an obsessee.

Things You Will Never Know About Draco Malfoy: A random moment of pity for Malfoy. I don't know where it came from, but it came. That's why that fic is on the net.

Why Galbatorix Is Lame: My most successful story. It is extremely shallow. One reviewer described it as "Mean, but funny. Just like a happy bunny." That sums it up, really. It's currently on hiatus. I'm gonna update and finish it after Empire comes out. Who can say how long it will end up being?

How To Make Murtagh Crazier: It was created out of the boredom of waiting in the auditorium for something to happen. It's still going.

Vengeance and Ideals: I just started it. I'm not sure where it's gonna go. Actually, I am. It just might change with time.

Hadassah pic: http:///celeb_gallery/557/2.jpg

Desdemona pic: http:///cdimages/alicia_keys-fallin_s.jpg

Black on White: Murtagh/Arya. I wanted to add more fics to that particular pairing. I like it more than I thought I would. It's getting quite a plot. Here are some pics I found on the internet to go with it.

Green Dragon Pic: http:///images/thumb/8/82/Empire_Cover.jpg/250px-Empire_Cover.jpg

MurtaghArya Wallpaper: http:///albums/d135/roguey17/Wallpapers/murtagharya.jpg It's movie pics, but whatever.

Morgana- http:///users/a/l/alw285/images/prom2/satine.jpg

Hathcyn, I suppose- http:///SHOWBIZ/Movies/9806/04//guy.jpg

Brecca- http:///images/headshots/22605_headshot.jpg

I Am Not a Eunuch: Complete. Product of watching Pirates of the Caribbean with my boyfriend. It's an Eragon fic, but still.

Why Canon and Fanon Don't Mix: Inspired by the wonderful LotR fan fiction called Never Leave Fan Fiction Lying Around. Nastelena...best Sue nickname ever.

Changing for the Better or the Worse: Marin...an interesting character I guess. I wanted to write something about that part in Eragon where Eragon and Murtagh are travelling together. I found a pic of what I think Marin might look like. http:///d/tvcomedies/1/0/H/3/-/-/marin_hinkle.jpg

Does It Hurt?: I just saw Moulin Rouge, and I decided, hey, why not write a fan fic about it? And since I thought that Nini was such an interesting character, and I spent most of the movie wanting to hug Christian, I had them talk in a fic. My friend Abby found five implied pairings in the fic. How many can you find?

Better Man: I really do like Orrin. He's the way he is in this fic to fit the song. I don't think that he's out of character though. It's yet another Murtagh/Nasuada fic. I love that pairing. It makes me wonder why I write a Murtagh/Arya fic. Oh well.

Nunquam Satis: An Eragon fic inspired by the name of the house in Great Expectations. It's Arya/Durza, and it's about not taking what you want because once you have what you want, you don't want it anymore, and I use Latin taken from a Google translator.

Ironic: That song's my ringtone, and I was so mad at Harry for breaking up with Ginny at the end of the sixth book. Spiderman, anyone?

Babylon: Morzan/Selena. I like old music too much. I decided that Morzan couldn't be a total monster, and this fic was born.

Eragon on Oprah: My little brother and my cousin helped me with this one. Basically, a Gary Stu/camel/junkie named LSD takes over Eragon's life and succeeds at the impossible: becoming more of a Gary Stu than Eragon.

How to Make Legolas Crazier: Sequel to How to Make Murtagh Crazier written by my friend Amy