So that everyone knows, this is a 2 person account. So if someone posts a comment or has a question for us, they might get 2 different responses.

So my name's Lyn. I'm 18 and a compleate freak. I tend to watch a lot of anime, read some manga (usually yaoi) and play a lot of video games. I'm currently replaying .Hack//G.U, Suikoden 3,4,and 5 and Persona 3Fes and 4. And I'm currently playing FF13, Dragon Age Origins, and Magna Carta: Tears of Blood. Just finnished reading the MAze Runner series. When I'm not watching anime, reading manga or playing video games, I'm usually reading what ever the hell I want, wrighting, and watching tv.

You are a Dramatic Uke!

You are a tortured soul, and your main activity in life is getting tortured. In fact, you probably wouldn't be happy without something to moan and whine about, which makes you a perfect match for the Sadistic Seme. You are willing to give your body and soul to your partner, putting yourself under their complete control in an effort to escape the pain of your tragic past, although you know deep down there is never an escape.

Most compatible with: Sadistic Seme
Least compatible with: Don't Fuck With Me Seme, Romantic Seme

Intense, untrusting, and with a flair for dark drama, the Dramatic Uke experiences the world on a different level than most. Creative and deep feeling, they are experts at human emotion, and can see right through to your real motives and weakness. However, they are ruled by their own thoughts and emotions, sometimes too much. As they cannot escape the darkness within their soul, they find themselves subconsciously drawing in the Sadistic Seme - the only one who can make them forget...

Other common traits of the Dramatic Uke personality include being: intelligent, suspicious, manipulative, sensual, and secretive.

The Dramatic Uke personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Fire (Ahh, so true)

Chinese Zodiac: Snake (More like a wolf)

Color: Deep Purple (Not a bad color.)

Fruit: Peaches (Nasty stuff. Strawberries more like it)

Dessert: Chocolate Lava Cake (Yumm~)

Theme Song: Muma - The Nightmare by BUCK-TICK (WTF? The Murderer by Alesana FTW!)

I am the second person to this account, my name is Moe, as my friend said I like playing video games and watching anime, I'm completely werid and yes I have been told this many times. I'm playing at the moment disaega 3 still to fully complete it. I watch a lot of different anime. I do parkour too. I'm usually doing my own thing when I'm not hanging out with friends or watching anime or playing games, and I'm 18 btw.

You are a Don't Fuck With Me Seme!

Serious and to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take your intense reactions, which possibly involves rope and sensual torture. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're the only one able to put them in line and satisfy each other.

Most compatible with: Badass Uke
Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke, Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke

Possibly the most easily misunderstood Seme personality - the dark intense eyes of the DFWM Seme silently penetrating deep into your true motives is enough to frighten most away. Only those with a taste for playing with danger, and a craving for sensual punishment, would approach willingly into this fire. Intensely possessive and serious, this Seme is driven by challenge - and the thrill of the hunt, capture, and physical dominance over their partner in their shared game of power and submission. And despite this Seme being silent (unless provoked into anger) and more of a loner, once they've found the right partner - someone who can match their intensity and darkness - they are deeply protective, loyal, and sensual.

The Don't Fuck With Me Seme personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element: Earth

Chinese Zodiac: Ox

Color: Steel

Fruit: Grapes

Dessert: Dark Chocolate Brownies

Theme Song: Countdown by Hyde

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just can’t resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
if you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
When everything was settled by rock paper scissors...or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendo’s and Sega Genesis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2, and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when everything was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original Pokémon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before SpongeBob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our Walkman’s.
When Gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
Or if you smiled at one of these things

~Took this from Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo's Profile~

The must knows in the hentai/yaoi/yuri world:

1. Yaoi is guy on guy.

2. Yuri is girl on girl.

3. Hentai is your normal pairing.

4. Seme is 'top' and Uke is 'bottom'.

5. Just because you read it doesn't mean you’re gay/lesbian. (No offense!!!)

6. Doujinshi is done by professional artists, and they can be yaoi, yuri, or hentai!

7. They are almost impossible to find to read for free! (Believe me, I’ve looked!)

8. If you already know this crap, why the hell are you reading it?

9. Seriously, get over it!

10. Here's an idea; Copy and paste this to your profile so that someone else can read it!!!

About 70 percent of girls in the world are Yaoi fans. If you're part of that 70 percent, then paste this in your profile.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.

(BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber-sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

You know you're obsessed with anime when...

1. You own a shiny, metal object of doom.

2. You and your friends have anime nicknames.

3. You know your favorite character’s birthday; favorite color food and animal, blood type, and you can’t even remember your sibling’s birthday.

4. You are in multiple anime fan clubs (or own some!).

5. You almost die if you miss an episode of your favorite anime, or can't buy the newest manga.

6. Your friend shows you their manga collection and you drool all over there carpet.

7. You have dressed up as you favorite character on Halloween, or just for fun!

8. You have a picture of your favorite character in your wallet or purse.

9. You prefer guys with long silver hair and swords.

10. You write a story about your favorite character for English class.

11. You have pictures of anime all over you walls.

12. You have a dream in Japanese and you don’t even understand it.

13. You want to learn Japanese for no apparent reason, even though you have never been to Japan and probably never will.

14. Your knowledge of Japanese only extends to "hello" and "I will kill you".

15. You begin to learn Japanese through watching subs.

16. You use Japanese when in a conversation with any random person, and don’t realize you did until you see them looking at you funny.

17. You can't speak Japanese, can't understand Japanese yet you can sing along to the theme song of every anime movie you own.

18. You accidentally call a very unintelligent person Kuwabara by mistake.

19. You wear a pink jewel around your neck and call it the shikon jewel.

20. You waist countless amounts of hair gel trying to that "Goku" look.

21. (If you speak English) when English becomes your second language.

22. You name (or plan to name) your children after anime characters.

23. You buy shuriken or kunai.

24. You speak in subtitles.

25. You prefer anime over real life.

26. You begin to think that blue or pink is a natural hair color.

27. You continually buy and eat ramen, even if you don’t like it that much.

28. You suddenly decide to study a random martial art.

29. You cosplay daily.

30. You end up having 'really good' dreams with your fave anime characters

Make A Sentence:
Pick the month you were born on... (bold what ya are!)

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - i hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the day (number) you were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the Trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the Kool-Aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a Mexican
25 - a teletubby
26 - a condom
27 - a gangsta
28 - Paris Hilton
29 - Barney the Dinosaur
30 - my ex-boyfriend
31 -my lover

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...

White - because I’m sexy like that
Black - because I love weed
Pink - because I smoke crack
Turquoise- because I’m good in bed
brown- because i like to snort cocaine
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Grey - because i have AMAZING boobs
Other - because I’m retarded
Green -because that bum stole my taco
Orange - because i still love him
RED- because the gummy bears made me
blue - because i like shoelaces
Tie dye- because I’m a fucking scuba diver
graphic- because I am crazy like that
none- because i have a killer six pack!!

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Normal people worry me.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about ENDURANCE.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"(Aren't you one to talk)

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."(Get the hint?)

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

When I was young, I used to pray to God for a bike...then I realized God doesn't work that way, so I just stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Why be difficult when, with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

We’ll get along fine as soon as you realize I’m God.

I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?

Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is spent teaching them to sit down and shut up.

Everything here is eatable. Even me, but that my children is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

People are like slinkies, basically useless, but it’s hilarious to watch them fall down stairs

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

My mother told me never to talk to strange people. I never talk to myself, parents, or friends anymore.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. Just drink it and get it over with!

You always get what’s coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died

On those restaurant signs that say 'No shirt, no shoes, no service,' does that mean you can wear a shirt and shoes, but no pants, and they have to serve you?

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hysterical.

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

When in doubt, make words up!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Oh, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil.

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly

Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.

I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.

The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

Remember When…:

getting high meant swinging at a playground?

the worst thing you could get from a boy was cooties?

when mom was your hero?

and dad was the boy you were gonna marry?

when your worst enemies were your siblings?

and race issues were about who ran the fastest?

when WAR was a card game?

and life was simple and care free?

remember when all you wanted to do

WAS GROW UP?

If you agree copy this to your profile.

You know when you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.