Yes I am using a typewriter, no I am not a hipster, I am just poor.

Hey its nice to meet you all, Thank you so much for viewing my profile (I feel so warm and loved inside). I know I don't have much on here however I hope this will change swiftly and soon.

So I guess you're all here to dig up some dirt on your favorite closet sociopath. Well I don't have much for you but here's some information on Tia (if you dare, muhahahah).

Name : Call me TIA but my name is Tristan.

Gender: Other (In detail I am a Trans Guy).

Pronouns: Him, his, he... I don't mind they and stuff either.

Age : To be honest I lost count after the first few centurys ;P (I'm 20)

Location : I live in England governa.

Favourite Colour : Green, Brown and Blue. Depends on the day I guess. I also love black and grey.

Favourite book(s) : I love the last dragon chronicles by Chris D'Lacey; I love Heidi its my comfort book. Anthony Horrowits's Alex Rider books and The Saga of Darren Shan are more of my favourites. Bet you thought I would say Twilight-you were wrong- although it does have a special place in my heart. Of course I also love Harry Potter.

Favorite music : How much time do you Have? Okay I like Foke music, country music, rock music. Music from the seventys, eighties, and some of the nineties. Well I guess all I don't like is hip hop and rap- oh god kill me nnnn. I have a soft spot for Classical music.

Favourite film : Seriously do you want to be here forever.

Okay now ten facts about you... annnnnnnd go!

1. I cant drive. I don't have the balance for it but I secretly want to ride motorbikes.

I can't eat healthy even though I try. I am striving to become a Vegetarian but failing. (Update: failing less) (Update 2.0: Failing dramatically)

2. I am far too obsessed with (fan) fiction.

3. I am a cat person; I have the most beautiful black/brown cat named Merlin. He bites.

4. I like both girls and boys. I identify as Pansexual.

5. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

6. I want to be a published author one day.

7. I want to get married at some point- now that I definitely can. I don't know if I ever will though. I don't connect with people well and the idea of giving my whole life to another person scares me shitless.

8. I'm scared to be alone.

9. I talk to myself waaaay to much. ( Tia : this can't be good for my mental state. Tia : I know right, you're totally insane. Tia : You're both crazy. )

10. I am a quietly brave person who wants to change the world.

11. I'm Bad at maths.

And that was 'ten' facts about me.

Yes this one is important and serious (Sorry) : I frequently write with the help of Jade Inkwell a close friend. Please look at her work she is amazing. Go to her profile, read her work, review or whatever and send my bestest buddy in the whole wide world some hugs kisses and Llamas for me.

I also write with my beta Celran. He's a great help so give him some love too. Or don't, you know, I don't own you.

So hello everyone and welcome to my profile. I'm Insane.

All of the one stories I have written at the moment are Twilight and more of those to come; although I want to write from other books, films ect in the future. (Update: Harry Potter! I now have a Harry Potter Fanfiction. Wooooo.) Potter. Potter. Potter. Potter. Potter. Potter. Potter.

A List of Stereotypes

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm ANOREXIC, so I MUST hate overweight people.

I'm a NEGRO??? so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. (Like no)

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. (Maybe just a little, but in a good way- like Luna).

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (I Have no social life but no longer have straight A's... don't know if i should change it.)

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO theater & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (Dude really- dude no... hate them dude...

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO (so...

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm NOT BLACK and I have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. (Its only because i'm related to the Half Blood Prince).

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual. (Safety people, safety)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

?I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.?

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE

I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. (I like tea- this is all)

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy (A am a little bit of a tree hugging hippy)

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cybersex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins (!!!!!!!!

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan (Like waht?

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. (Once again Waht??

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.(Yeah well okay- this ones not that far off...)

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. (I'm having life problems at the moment :'(

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK, so I MUST have no life.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.

I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.

I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports. (No just no no no

I'm NOT RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god

I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.

I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends

I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work

I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame

I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.

I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self-respect.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. (I'm a freaking guy; we can be feminists too)

My Parings

Twilight

I bounce between team Edward and Jacob, Vampires and wolves. If you try and make me chose I would cry, I literally have before (Ask Jade if you don't believe me).

My favorite pairings from the Twilight;

Edward/Bella

Jacob/Leah (not quite internal squeal)- I technically love Leah with anyone but Sam, she deserves to be happy but so does Emily which brings me to Sam/Emily

All Normal Cullen pairings

Most wolf pairings (OCs or otherwise)

Some volturi pairings eg Alec/Leah- Alec/OC- Jane/OC- Jane/Aro

Garrett/Kate (A match made in heaven)

Edward/Jacob

Edward/Jasper (Lill' bit)

Paul/Seth

Jacob/Paul (the hotness)

Jasper/Seth (the cuteness)

Leah/Anyone (seriously she deserves someone, don't let Leah be alone).

Harry Potter

Harry/ any Weasley child

Hermione/ Most Weasleys

Harry/ Draco

Harry/ Severus

Harry/ Lucius

Sirius/ Remus

James/ Sirius

James/ Severus

Lily/ James

Lily/ Severus

Certain OC pairings.

Some others as well and I like Cannon.

Now for all the Legal boring stuff- maybe this should be at the top?

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to their respectful owners and are, in no way, connected to me. Any character similar to that of an actual person, living or dead is purely coincidental and are not my responsibility. All pieces are written purely for entertainment purposes.