Title: My Immortal

By: Angel74

Rating: M

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: eventual Edward/Jacob (yes, it is slash!)

Summary: What if Edward never knew about Bella's cliff diving incident in New Moon? What if she never had to go to Volterra to save him? What if he left truly her alone … until curiosity finally got the better of him and he decided to finally return to Forks to check on her? What if what he finds shocks him so thoroughly it shatters everything he ever believed? What if…

Note: This story takes place almost five years after Bella's birthday party in the beginning of New Moon, and is AU from there after. It is really a bit of a mystery and many things will be confusing at first, though I'm sure my readers will figure it all out along the way. Jacob has a lot of secrets he's keeping. Don't worry. All will be revealed in time if you don't pick up on the clues. I hope you all enjoy this bit of Jakeward, as I think it's rather original. Please leave a review!

Chapter 1- What You Don't "See"

Edward leaned against the railing of the balcony he was standing on and took in the gorgeous scenery around him. The mountain air was crisp that afternoon and snow was softly falling all around him. Edward's hair and shirt were turning white as the flurries accumulated on top of him, but he didn't mind. The view of Rocky Mountains was amazingly spectacular from this secluded mountainside luxury condo and it provided him with the solace he needed to mull over the many mistakes he had made.

Alice and Jasper had brought him here for a ski trip, but Edward had found himself too distracted to enjoy much of anything. The rest of the family was scattered around the globe. Emmet and Rosalie were enjoying another honeymoon together in Paris, and Carlisle and Esme were putting together some final arrangements on the new house in Maine.

Edward, Jasper, and Alice had spent the last two weeks skiing, hunting the local wildlife, and enjoying the city life of Denver. Alice had carefully arranged everything, filling each day with as many activities as she could to distract him from the dark moods that often plagued him. It had been a great idea, one meant to break Edward out of the funk he had found himself in since leaving Forks nearly five years ago. He knew his siblings meant well, but for some reason he couldn't help but brood.

He had known better than to fall in love with a mortal, but he couldn't help himself. He waited nearly a century to find the one person who could understand him, who could accept him for he was, and it had to have been a human.

Edward's first encounter with Bella should have made him realize that things could never work for them as a couple. He had nearly killed her! Her scent was so intoxicating that he nearly lost his mind and damn near threw away everything his family had worked so hard for just to have one taste of her exquisite blood. The bloodlust nearly caused him kill her on the spot and do away with all the witnesses. But he didn't. He ran away and he should have stayed away, but curiosity had gotten the best of him.

Edward had hated Bella at first. He hated her for nearly turning him into a monster… a monster he had never wanted to become again But he realized that it wasn't her fault. Bella didn't know just how alluring her scent was to him. He fought his predator like impulses and became determined to beat down the creature who wanted to lash out.

He decided to befriend young Bella Swan and in doing so discovered something intriguing about the teenage girl. Edward couldn't read her thoughts. It was disturbing and it made Edward doubt his abilities. He had never encountered anyone whose mind was silent to him. It was amazingly frustrating.

What was even more amazing was that she was relatively unafraid of him. Even from the beginning. She was brave and selfless and rather out of place in her own little world. He felt inexplicably drawn to Bella, and in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder if it was all because of her ridiculously potent scent. Or maybe it was because Alice kept telling him that he would fall in love with her. It was sometimes maddening having a sister who told him what he would decide before he even had a choice to do so.

He grew to love her, unconditionally, and that love was tested time and time again. Their love was dangerous, so dangerous that it nearly cost Bella her life.

Edward ultimately left his one true love in order to save her life. What happened at Bella's birthday party… what could have almost happened… it would have been too much to bear. It was in that moment- when Jasper reacted to the simple paper cut Bella had gotten while opening her presents- that Edward was reminded how fragile she really was. She seemed to be constantly in danger; first from himself, then from James hunting her, and then from his own sibling. They could never have a life together if Edward was constantly worried for her safety. They wouldn't even be able to be intimate with one another for fear that he would get carried away and hurt her.

He knew that what she really wanted was to be changed into one of them, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to her. He may not be able to save his own damned soul, but he would do everything in his power to save hers. There was no sense in creating another beautiful monster.

Breaking up with Bella had been the hardest thing Edward ever had to do. Jasper had felt responsible for everything and did his best smooth things over, sending him calming waves whenever he was falling into despair. As much as killed him to be apart from Bella, he knew that this was right. With him out of the picture she could move on, learn to love a human, get married, have children, grow old… the way things were meant to be.

After many long years, some of the perpetual ache that had settled into his chest had finally begun to lift. He had traveled all over the world, seen many fascinating things, met some rather interesting characters, and began to contemplate if there might really be another love out there for him- one a lot less fragile than the one he had left behind. Despite this, Edward couldn't help but wonder about Bella. Had she already moved on? Was she with someone else? Did she go to college? Did she still live in Forks? He truly did want her to find love once more, but he also selfishly hoped that he wasn't so easily forgotten.

"Are you coming?" Alice asked, standing in the doorway of the balcony.

She was dressed in a pale blue and white ski jacket and matching snow pants. She was even wearing a woolen hat in the same colors, all of which was completely unnecessary since the cold didn't bother them, but they still had appearances to keep up. There was always a chance they would run into the locals, even on the remotest slopes. Denver had some hardcore thrill seekers.

"Not this time," replied Edward, as Jasper appeared beside his mate.

"Are you sure?" Jasper asked looking concerned.

Edward nodded, and returned to look at the scenery. He could hear both of their worried thoughts about him and he knew this conversation wasn't over.

"I'll catch up, okay?" Alice said to Jasper.

"Sure," he replied, giving her a chaste kiss before leaving the pair alone.

Alice came to stand beside her brother and placed her hand on his. Their pale hands stood out in stark contrast to the dark wood railing. They were both quiet for a long while. "You still think about Bella, don't you?" she finally asked.

Edward nodded. "All the time," he admitted, for the first time aloud.

He had never once mentioned Bella since they had left Forks, and neither did his family out of respect for his decision. They all knew it was just too painful and Edward was not one to share his feelings easily.

"You know, it's okay to move on…" Alice began.

"I know."

"You did what you thought was right."

"Yes…"

"And yet you still wonder about her."

Edward nodded once more. Than turning toward his sister he said, "Can I ask you for a favor? Would you check up on her future for me?"

Alice hesitated before answering. "I don't know…."

"Please Alice," he pleaded.

"What good would that do, Edward? You aren't with her anymore."

"I just need to know," he pleaded. "I need to know that she is safe… that she is happy…"

Alice sighed and finally relented. She sat down in one of the patio chairs on the balcony and got a far away look in her eyes. Edward sat down beside her and watched as his sister's face became a mixture of emotions. He tried reading her thoughts, but found that all he could see was darkness. Complete and utter darkness. That was strange. Alice had never blocked her thoughts from Edward before and he wasn't even aware that she could. He was deeply puzzled. Maybe what Alice was Seeing so horrible that she felt the need to guard her thoughts. Was she trying to protect Edward from the truth? He couldn't tell by her strange expressions, but it was obvious that she was distressed.

"What? What is it?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing," she thought.

"What?"

"I see nothing." So she hadn't blocked her thoughts from him after all.

"How can you see nothing?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Edward asked, growing frustrated.

"I don't know! I don't see anything!" Alice replied out loud, looking frantic.

"Maybe you're too far away… or maybe it's because you aren't close anymore to Bella anymore."

Alice shook her head. "That can't be it. That's never been a problem before."

"She can't be…can she?" Edward asked, almost too afraid to know the answer.

"No, no… that can't be it," Alice denied, knowing that he wanted to know if Bella was still alive but not really knowing the answer herself. "There is a chance that I'm being blocked somehow."

"Mm," Edward hummed in agreement. "Her thoughts have always been blocked from me, but I thought you had no trouble Seeing her."

"I never did before," Alice replied. "But maybe her mental powers have increased. Or maybe…" She was thoughtful for a minute and didn't say anything else. Her thoughts were guarded and Edward had trouble making out what she was thinking.

"What?" Edward finally asked.

"Maybe she's with someone that I can't See," she explained.

"Like who?"

"A shifter… from the Quileute tribe," Alice replied, thinking things through. "I had some difficulty Seeing in the past around the time the treaty was first put into place."

"But are there any shifters now?"

"There could be… we weren't the only vampires to visit the area in recent years," she reminded him. "Does Bella know anyone at the reservation?"

Edward nodded, remembering her friendship with Jacob Black and the fact that her father was best friends with Billy Black.

"So maybe that's it," she said, looking more confident now.

"Maybe…" He wondered if Bella was truly dating one of the Quileutes. The thought of her with someone else wasn't as comforting as it should have been. Isn't this what he wanted for her? To find love with someone else? His face fell into a frown the longer he contemplated it.

"You don't think so?"

"I don't know… but I need to be sure…" he said, as he rose to his feet and quickly entered the condo.

Alice followed behind him. "Edward, what are you doing?"

"Don't you already know?" he called over his shoulder as he entered his bedroom and grabbed his suitcases. He began throwing his belongings into them, not caring that he was wrinkling everything. He was in a hurry to get out of there.

"Are you going back to be with her?" Alice asked worriedly.

Edward shook his head. "No, I couldn't do that to her. She's moved on with her life."

"Then why do this?"

"Because I need to know…" he said, as he finished packing and began zipping up the suitcases. "I won't even talk to her if I don't have to. I just need to know she's safe."

"Edward, I don't think this is a good idea."

"I'm going anyway," he said, as he effortlessly lifted his suitcases and carried them downstairs.

"Well, at least wait for Jasper to come back and we'll come with you," she pleaded while following him.

Edward shook his head and entered the garage, pressing the button to open the garage door. "No, I need to do this alone." He then opened the trunk of one of the rental cars and threw the suitcases in.

"Will you at least go hunting first?"

"Don't need to," he said as he closed the trunk. As he came around the car he saw the faraway look in his sister's eyes once more and knew that she was checking up on his own future now that he had decided to go.

"What do you See?" he asked patiently, though he was already watching as the images flashed through Alice's mind.

"I See you flying to Port Angeles, but then no more… you go fuzzy… disappear…" she said anxiously.

"All the more reason to assume one of the wolves might be involved," he said determinedly.

"But Edward…." Alice began, looking fearful. "They are our natural enemy. They could kill you."

"The treaty is still in tact. I'll be fine."

"Stay away from their territory…"

"I will," he said. Sensing her concern, Edward put a hand on his sister's shoulder. "Alice, I'll be fine. Stop worrying."

"There's no stopping you once your mind is made up, is there?"

Edward smiled and kissed his sister on the top of the forehead. "Tell Jas I apologize for leaving so abruptly."

She nodded and sadly watched him start the rental car and backed out of the garage. "Be safe! And call when you know something!"

Edward waved goodbye and sped towards the airport, already knowing from Alice's vision that he wouldn't have to wait long for a flight to Washington.