TANI...THE WOMAN...THE LEGEND...THE VERY TIRED:

First, I'd like to thank all those who've read and commented to me in PM's about my psychotic ramblings. I really appreciate your taking the time because I know how long-winded I can get.

TANI ON TANI:

I'm a doctor from "Dirty Jersey". I typically used to write stories about TV shows and movies from the 1980s when I grew up (shut it, you! I'm not old). I like to call it "nostalgia fic". I wrote a lot of Ghostbusters fic back in the day. But I think I've done all that I'm gonna with that fandom. Also, recently, my busy schedule (I just finished my residency and moved to another state to start a fellowship) has had me doing more reading than writing of late. But I do plan to get back to writing VERY SOON. I've settled nicely into my new place and feel confident in writing again. I've started by posting some of my old Ghostbuster fics. Please feel free to check them out. I like 'em. I hope you do to.

I also have been working on two original fics, one is a crime drama and one is a sci-fi story. I've finally gotten off my lazy butt and joined FictionPress.com, FanFiction.net's original fic sister site. Please feel free to check out my stories as they unfold. Those will take me longer to post each one because they currently still WIP's. They're both going to be pretty long, plus smutty and violent, but such is how the mind works...at least mine. As a new member, FictionPress.com won't let me post until I've been a member for at least 2 days. Once my probation is over, you can check out my stories on my FictionPress.com profile page.

OH! I also am a pretty good beta. I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi, so if I beta, your fic will be grammatically correct if nothing else. I'm also a stickler for details, so I'm good at spotting inconsistencies. Right now, I am unavailable, but as of January 2010, I should be less busy in my fellowship and should be able to hook people up in my respective fandoms or really any fandom. I don't care, but if I don't know the fandom well, I can only beta for grammar and story flow. I am familiar with a goodly amount of anime, a decent amount of classic books, some comics, tons of movies (old and new), and a decent amount of older TV. If you got a fic in 2010 or beyond, drop me a line! I'd love to beta-read it for ya! Just tell me the fandom and I'll tell you my comfort level.

TANI'S FANDOMS:

My favorite fandoms of late are anime and video games. For video games, I have been reading a lot of fics from Final Fantasy VII and Resident Evil, and although I do love my goofy One Piece nakama fics, my all time favorite anime is Full Metal Panic, so I read a lot of that. I also dig other anime, so I may occasionally read other stuff too. I love all these fandoms. I love the characters, both heroes and villains, and I think they are rich in complexity, romance, and action.

OF PAIRINGS AND LOVE TRIANGLES:

For pairings, because everyone loves a love story, I have certain favorite couples from my three favorite fandoms. All my favorite fandoms have pretty prominent love triangles, so I guess I should list my favorite pairings.

Resident Evil: Leon S. Kennedy/Claire Redfield. Chris Redfield/Jill Valentine.

Final Fantasy VII: Cloud Strife/Tifa Lockhart. Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough.

Full Metal Panic: Sousuke Sagara/Kaname Chidori. Kurz Weber/Melissa Mao.

TANI, THE LONG-WINDED:

My Thoughts on the RE Pairings: I'll use Resident Evil as my example for explaining my general take on fanfic pairings. I am mostly a purist when it comes to pairing fics, so I don't think characters who have never been portrayed in a fandom as anything but straight are actually secretly gay (SHHH! It's a secret! sly wink). I think it's funny as hell that some folks do, but I'm afraid I just don't get the appeal of slash and fem. I think if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a duck...not a gay duck. So once I get settled and get off my butt and write again, don't look for me to be writing any yaoi or yuri unless the characters were gay in the canon. Those I love to read just as much as the next person. And consequently, I don't like it when gay characters are portrayed as straight, either. Again, it ain't canon. So, if you write My Best Friend's Wedding fics and make Rupert Everett straight and have him sweep Cameron Diaz off her feet, I'm gonna gag and stop reading. I love the canon of the fandoms. To me, that's what it means to be a fan. Altering the characters (and I don't mean AU...you can do an AU and still be in character), feels like a betrayal of the rich material that's already available. Also, I don't really like reading about unhealthy or unnatural pairings. I see enough of that on the Maury Povich Show so I don't need it in my fanfic. For example, I think it's unnatural for Wesker to be with any of the anti-Umbrella folks unless he forced himself on them. I seriously don't get why Claire/Wesker is such a popular pairing, but to each their own. Actually, that's not entirely true. I mean, I get it if you're saying Wesker's using Claire to get to Chris by raping her (a sad prospect, but not hard to think possible based on the Wesker character), but when the fics show Claire falling in love with him and having a family because he's not that bad after all...come on...seriously? That's just plain unnatural and very far off canon. I can't see Claire risking her life to find her brother, then shacking up with the man-monster that betrayed and tried to kill him. Just makes no sense. I guess the Wesker pairings are popular because some fans think Wesker's hot. That's nice and all, but you have to also think that Claire's that stupid (that's not nice...I like Claire!). I buy Wesker and the female villains, like Ada and Alexia (yes...Ada Wong is a villain...get over it). So there...now Mr. Hotty Wesker can have his cake and eat it too. ... Wow..that came out dirtier than I meant it to. In any event, that's my take on Wesker pairings. And we won't even discuss zombie sex. We just won't go there. shudder For the pairing of Jill and Chris, there's just no other way. They are the first, the definitive RE couple. There is NO triangle with Rebecca Chambers. It has always been Chris and Jill. From their partnership dating before the games even started, to Chris saving her from the Cerberus outside the mansion, to Chris getting Jill out of the cell, to Jill riding home in the helicopter with her head on Chris's shoulder, to Jill looking for Chris at his place and finding his knife after RE3, to Jill sacrificing her life to save Chris from Wesker in RE5, to Chris's struggle to get her back even though she kicks the crap out of him...they are a couple. That's it. They are partners, friends, and shouldn't be VOLUNTARILY paired with anyone else. Now, if you're saying Jill was forced to be with Wesker or whoever while under his control, then it's a rape fic and not a true romantic pairing. It's just like my comment above about Wesker/Claire, so I won't repeat myself. But I'm certainly not unreasonable. I would even call Chris/Sheva canon as long as it happens before Chris finds Jill alive again. Any other pairings for those two is simply AU as far as I'm concerned, and that includes Jill/Carlos. Carlos flirted with Jill the whole time they were in Raccoon City and she never gave him the time of day. But the first thing she DID do when they were safe was rush over to a certain Redfield's place to see if he was alright. And Chris/Rebecca is as weird to me as it would be to pair Jill and Barry. In either pairing, you can say, she's too young for him.

My Thoughts on the RE Love Triangles: I am more prone to place people in the healthier of the two relationships if there is a love triangle. Otherwise, it's just PWP. No disrespect to the Leon/Ada fans, but you couldn't put a gun to MY head and expect a diamond ring. Leon is a boy scout, he may be a smart ass, and he may be a flirt, but he does what's right. I do not see him having a long and meaningful relationship with someone who works for Umbrella and keeps putting guns to his head. I don't care how cute she looks in a red dress. It's gonna get old. To say otherwise is to assume that HE'S that stupid (hey! you take that back!). I mean, he may do her if she offers (Leon is a man, people), but the whole picket fence thing is ridiculous. So, no Leon/Ada fics for Tani...and we won't talk about Ashley (cough, cough, jailbait!, hack) or Angela who wreaks of Movie Mary Sue just like Alice, who stole half her cool moves in RE: Apocalypse from RE: Code Veronica version of Claire then never gave a check for copyright infringement to Claire in RE: Extinction. Oh...and Angela's also a poor excuse for an SRT member...she can't even save herself! But I digress. I'm not saying that Leon HAS to be with Claire (although I do prefer the pairing). I remember someone writing something about Hunnigan once, and honestly I'm really on the fence about her. I can see her and Leon together. I mean, they're co-workers, he flirts with her at the end of RE4, she's pretty, and she's just. But other than that, we know so little about her character, it's hard to judge compatibility. I guess you could make her seem like just about anything, although she doesn't seem all that interested in Leon at the end of RE4. In fact she seems a bit annoyed with his innuendo and he seems to think it's amusing. Plus, she's kinda stuffy for what little we know of her. I wonder if he didn't flirt with her because he knew it would annoy her. It's fun to annoy your stuffy co-workers! I do it all the time! But I digress...again. Back to love triangles. I also am more likely to root for the strong woman. In the Claire vs. Ada debate, they're both really strong. But I'm also a firm believer in happily ever after. So, Claire is strong and one of the good guys which appeals to the boy scout in Leon. She also rocks Harleys, Queen-inspired vests, and she's pretty stacked to boot! That appeals to the flirty smartass in Leon. I am a curvy woman so I always root for the curvy girls (sorry to the Ada fans and half of under-21 Hollywood, but I do not believe that it's natural to be a size 0...just ask Sir Mix-a-Lot). Angela and Ashley are out because they're not strong like Ada and Claire. Angela and Ashley are the kind of girls who need saving. Claire and Ada are the kind of girls you toss your spare gun to when stuff gets hairy (Claire kicks so much ass in RE:Degeneration...which by the way parody's the obvious sexual tension between Leon and Claire with a series of joke scenarios in the DVD Extras of Claire being jealous of Angela and making Leon pay...painfully). The difference between them being that Claire will not then stick your own spare gun in your back and steal a virus sample from you. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think either Claire or Leon have to be with another RE character. I also like fics where Leon and Claire are just friends, even if they don't end up together, or end up dating some OC. The fact is, that even RE: Degeneration showed that no matter how long it's been since they saw each other last, Leon and Claire are at least very good friends. But fics where they hate each other or hurt each other...not canon. As for Claire/Steve...dude, how OLD is Steve? Seriously, based on his voice and the way he carries himself, I'd guess like 15 or 16 years old. I guess he was close to Claire's age, but he HAD to be younger than her. I mean, seriously, he looks younger than her in the game, esp. since Claire matured some since RE2. When I first saw him in Code Veronica, I was like, 'aww...how cute, another Sherry for Claire to take care of, but old enough to use a gun'. Plus he's short. I can't see Claire growing up with a major stud muffin like Chris and not basing her choice in man on him. Anyway, even if Claire and Steve are the same age (and height...snicker), he's either dead or a monster no matter which way you write the fics, so that's not healthy. Plus I heard somewhere that Steve was originally supposed to be Leon, but Leon was so popular, the folks at Capcom didn't want to kill him off, so they made up Burnside. So, it was originally gonna be Leon's confession of love at the end of Code Veronica. Honestly, I kinda wish they'd done that anyway and just brought Leon back like they bring every freaking body else back. How much more awesome (not that he wasn't already awesome) might playing as Leon have been in RE4 if he was as strong as Wesker! Fun! I try to read Steve/Claire fics. I swear I try. By the way, I'm laughing right now. It's just, I can HEAR his voice from the video game and I just start laughing. He sounded like his voice was still changing! Leon is a man. Chris is a man. I don't think Steve is old enough to vote. That's why I think that if Steve's alive he'd be better for someone like Sherry. She's like a younger Claire and they can have little viral infected babies together. Awww. BTW, someone recently messaged me about this. And I do agree with them that Steve's death was one of the sadder moments in the RE universe. That being said, Claire would have cried if any of her friends died. She's very protective and cares a great deal for them. But I didn't hear her professing her undying love to Steve's corpse either. If she loved him...after like a day and all...she likely would've. As for the rest of the pairings, I don't really care what you people do because I'm fairly indifferent to many of the characters. Rebecca/Billy or Rebecca/Carlos. Whatever. She's 18 or older. Let her do who she wants. Either Billy comes back or he doesn't. But if he does come back and you don't hook them up and you don't at least write him as a sort of Chris figure to Rebecca's Claire, you're possibly breaking canon. But even when the other pairings are just plain out there wacky, I have no opinion. I always just take those as the writer challenging themselves by trying to pair people who never even met in the series. For example there was a very well written Leon/Sheva fic I read recently. No love, just smut. Unlikely...absolutely. Well-written and exciting...without a doubt. I also love the Ark/Elza pairings. Since Elza was never released officially as a character in the series and was changed to Claire Redfield in RE2, she's pretty much fair game for anyone. But since Ark has kids now, I like the idea of him having a woman to balance him, and since he's Leon's friend, it makes sense that the almost Claire should be his love interest. Because...Leon belongs to Claire... So it's a nice parallel. Heh, sneaky li'l cuss, ain't I?

My Thoughts on the FFVII Love Triangle: I don't know...maybe it's just me, but I really don't understand why there's a debate. I played FFVII years ago, and it never even entered into my mind that Aerith was anything more than Zack's girlfriend. I'm glad that Crisis Core came along and reinforced that. Cloud was in love with Tifa from childhood. He tried to join SOLDIER to impress her. He only liked Aerith because Zack liked Aerith and Cloud had Zack's memories. And I think Aerith only liked Cloud because he reminded her of Zack. But whatever. Aerith and Zack are deceased, Tifa and Cloud are alive and practically living like a married couple together in Advent Children. Advent Children even alludes to the fact that it's more guilt than love that drove Cloud to Aerith's chapel, as well as fear of disappointing Tifa and the kids by watching their hero slowly die. It also shows that in death Aerith and Zack were reunited. So...Cloud/Aerith fanfics have two choices: set the pairings before Aerith dies or after. For the first, I can see it. Cloud is confused and Tifa is too shy to admit her feelings...until under the Highwind subtle wink. After that, it's still all Tifa, dudes. The other option is to first bring her back from the dead, ignore Zack (which is just plain wrong because he rocks out loud in Crisis Core) and have Cloud bail on Tifa, Denzel, and Marlene just to make the fics work. 'Kay. All Cloud/Tifa fanfics have to do is work with the lovely canon that's already been set up and make Cloud walk down the hall to Tifa's bedroom...in the house they share...because they live together...with their kids that they take care of...like a married couple. Oh dear! Is that a wolf emblem on the ring on Tifa's left hand when she slams it down on the bed while she argues with Cloud in the bedroom scene in Advent Children? Why...yes it is, a wolf emblem on her left ring finger! Hmmm...isn't Cloud's unofficial totem the wolf? Hmmm... Cloud's ring on Tifa's LEFT ring finger. I wonder what that might represent. Hmmm... See? I told you I was a purist! sly grin what can I say, there's a reason the Under the Highwind scene is considered the most overdone of Cloud/Tifa fics... It's CANON!!

My Thoughts on FMP Pairings: Well, although the anime and manga have made a couple of love triangles around Sousuke and Kaname, they also made it quite evident that the Testarossas (both Tessa and Leonard) don't stand a snowball's chance in Hades of ever hooking up with either of them. Luckily enough, this well beloved pairing has very few fics to contend with. Probably 99 percent of all pairings in FMP fanfic are Kaname/Sousuke. The next most common is Kurz and Mao. I've seen a few fics with Tessa and Sousuke, but half of them were menage a trois fics with Kaname, so that's just PWP. As for Leonard, I've only ever seen him as an enemy and someone Kaname fears and despises. Oh, and Kaname's other admirer Isse Tsubake is also Sousuke's rival, but Kaname doesn't actually seem to like him at all and I've never seen even one fic with him in it as anything but a pawn in Kaname's plans to either make Sousuke jealous or get him back for inadvertently rejecting her, so he's not worth mentioning. But despite the fanfic being mostly in agreement with my preferred pairings, I should still say something I think about the other pairings. First of all, Tessa is not in love with Sousuke. Tessa is infatuated with Sousuke. She had a crush on him and is massively competitive. She thinks she fell in love with him in a day (reference my Steve/Claire thoughts above in the RE section). Kaname and Sousuke slowly built their relationship and they STILL can't admit they're in love. Tessa is also inappropriate with him. She is his commanding officer and she puts him in a very uncomfortable situation when she hits on him. Honestly, it's outright sexual harrassment, and it's even worse because Sousuke's such an innocent. The fact that she's all cutesy and tiny with a high pitched voice doesn't change that. I think it's an act. Because when she wants to, she can be very devious. She thought Kaname was Sousuke's girlfriend when she first met them and she tried to create tension between them as a joke. If they were a real couple, she would have broken them up. That's a cruel thing to do to an employee or subordinate. She wouldn't like it if one of Mithril's crusty old generals did that to her. She also was very sneaky during the Fumoffu episodes where she visited Sousuke. I wonder sometimes (and have seen this in the occasional fic) if she wouldn't eventually stoop to ordering him to bed her, knowing that he always follows orders. Heh. I imagine he might faint. As for Leonard/Kaname, well it would be a rape. Bottom line. My word, the Testarossas are sexual harrassers! Must run in the family! chuckle In any case, he doesn't love Kaname either. He didn't even know her before he kissed her. He's simply a predator and wants her Whispered abilities, and I think he knew it would greatly unnerve her if he made her feel sexually uncomfortable too. She is Japanese after all and although she spent some of her life in New York she is well immered in her Japanese heritage and society. Appearances and reputation are important to Kaname, and she treasures her virtue, as well as her choice of who she gives it to. We saw how upset she was when Leonard stole the first kiss that she was saving for her otaku. How would she react if he stole something even more precious? In truth, I think Leonard has no more feelings for Kaname than she has for him or he has for Tessa. He is simply toying with her as he toys with his sister to get what he wants. And if he can get a little tail in the process (willing or not), I think he'll take it. Big bully shemale that he is. Leonard looks like a lady in her grandma's suit from the 1930s. But make no mistake, he isn't like Tessa, even if they are both very girlie. He doesn't expect Kaname to be running into his arms anytime soon. But just maybe admitting to deflowering her in the heat of battle with Sousuke in the Arbalest could help him (or is it shim?) turn the tide in his favor at a crucial moment. Then there's Melissa and Kurz. Melissa beats the crap out of him, but she's an alcoholic, and he's kinda cute (when he isn't being a jerk) and very persistant. And they have a bond as comrades in arms. I think it wouldn't be too hard to see them ending up in bed together after a night of drinking. Now the question is... does she beat the crap out of him when she wakes up, or does she admit she kinda liked him all along. Either way, I'd be entertained!

PHEW! That was a lot! Sorry if aanyone fell asleep! ;)

TANI'S TAKE ON BEING A GOOD FANFIC READER:

So for all you other authors out there, I'll read almost any fic, but if you have to jump through more hoops than a game of Mousetrap just to get two characters together because you KNOW they were meant to be because they had a moment for like three seconds during a game...or you just KNOW the villain and hero are only fighting to hide their undying gay love for each other...well, I might start your fic, but I likely won't finish it. Sorry, dude. At the very least, I'm not a flamer. If I don't like your pairing or your fic, I won't review. I will, however flame flamers in your review section. Whether you like a story or not, there's no need to be rude. Someone sat down and took the time to write something, which took a heck of a lot longer than it took us to read it. The least we can do as readers is be constructive with our comments. I respect every person who put even the shortest fic on this site. It takes courage to put yourself out there like that and I commend you for it.

TANI'S TAKE ON BEING A GOOD BETA:

I will beta anything in a fandom I am familiar with. If I don't agree with your plot, I'll point out what I feel are inconsistencies. If however, I don't agree with your pairing, I will only beta for grammar and story flow, and I will tell you so at the outset. I will offer no opinions on how canon your portrayal of your pairing is if I do not agree that your pairing itself is canon. However, I will treat your story with the utmost respect and I appreciate your interest in my help. In addition, if you are going to write a very disturbing fic, please warn me of such, but do not tell me any plot. Let me read it as a fan would read it so I can tell you how it comes out to a fan. I just want to know THAT something is disturbing...in case I'm eating or had a bad day at work in the hospital or something. Don't really want to read about child abuse on a day I treat a child for abuse, you know? I'd maybe need to wait a few days before I can read your fic. Otherwise, anything goes. It's hard to really shake me so I can read K through M. And Lemon is my favorite flavor! ;)

Updates:

So there you have it. Fanfic as per Tani. I am accepting fics for beta reading. Drop me a PM if you have something you wish me to read. Please feel free to look at my beta profile for more detailed information. I will let you all know here when I post more of my old Ghostbusters stuff. I've posted some stuff already. We'll see what I can do about writing in the above fandoms. I do not really use betas these days, but I appreciate constructive reviews and will use those to guide me in correcting glaring blunders. Differences of opinion may not garner revisions, but I will be as polite as you are in my replies to reviews. Hint hint to flamers! I WILL BE AS POLITE AS YOU ARE!

Well, that's all for now, faithful readers! Catch ya, later!