WATASHI NO TENSHI
Author's Note: Here's my first fanfiction for Full Metal Panic, an absolutely awesome anime and story by Shouji Gatou and one of the most intense displays of sexual tension I've seen. The entire series is a must-see but The Second Raid is an angsty work of art…I highly recommend it. This is a continuation of the last episode of TSR or how I would have liked it to end…with some citrus flavored fluff. And sadly I don't own this fantastic story, it belongs to the incredible Shouji Gatou.
WATASHI NO TENSHI
My Angel
It was a late afternoon in early October, the sun casting an orange glow over the Chofu residential area of Tokyo just as the local commuter train hissed into the Temagawa station. The bell rang and its doors slid open, letting off its passengers, among them an adolescent couple wearing the second year uniforms of Jindai Municipal High School. The boy was of average height and leanly muscular, darkly handsome with unruly black hair and intense gunmetal gray eyes that gave his somber expression an inner light. The girl was a porcelain beauty, her blue-black hair reaching below her shapely derriere with large thickly lashed coffee eyes and a lissome figure with long, graceful legs like a colt and a generous bosom. The two, Sousuke Sagara and Kaname Chidori turned and walked towards their respective dwellings, nestled among the numerous apartment complexes that made up the majority of the neighborhood, their strides in perfect synchronization.
Kaname gazed above as they strolled along, her eyes taking in the gold-tinted sky and she marveled at the vivid color. She swore she could not remember the sky being as brilliant ever…or was it just the warmth of joy she was feeling painting the colors around her now that he was back by her side? Kaname did not know for sure she only knew that she was happy and content and so she surreptitiously peeked at Sousuke from lowered lashes to try to gauge his current state of mind regarding their reunion. But as usual the sergeant from Mithril was impassive, wearing a mask of sullen indifference as he trudged beside her. Resigned, she uttered a soft sigh and was somewhat shocked when Sousuke abruptly halted and turned to her.
His eyes filled with concern he asked, "Chidori, are you alright?"
Not understanding him she replied, "Huh?"
Sousuke stated, "You sighed so I wondered if something was bothering you. If you are troubled by something maybe I can help."
She saw his stoic soldier's mask replaced by genuine worry and so she quickly reassured him, "No, I was just looking at the colors of the sky and the beauty of it made me sigh. That's all."
He glanced upward and acknowledged, "I see. You're right it is quite a sight but not out of the ordinary. And certainly nothing to cause one to sigh."
Kaname shook her head at his indomitable practicality then spotted that they had approached an area that had been her private sanctuary when she had bad days and filled with a deep desire to share a secret with Sousuke she impulsively grabbed his arm and pulled him along off the street and toward a riverbank that faced west.
Alarmed he sputtered, "Ch-Chidori what are you doing?"
She smiled and cooed, "Oh, nothing. Just come with me." At his continued hesitation she pouted and asked, "After everything we've been through together don't you trust me, Sousuke?"
Pinning him with her wide coffee orbs his own softened as he murmured, "Of course I do."
"Then come with me. We can watch the sunset better over here." And Kaname led Sousuke by the hand to the riverbank…
As he was led along by Kaname Sousuke's mind was teeming with a myriad of thoughts. As a professional soldier his first was a practical one, about how night was approaching and that he should make sure he got her home before the cover of darkness would make any lurking terrorist emboldened to try to nab her. He did not trust Mithril Intelligence agent Wraith to adequately protect her from those who would take her while he would gladly give his life to see that she continued to live a happy and strong one. And then he was also pondering the state of his emotions as he had just done what he once thought was unthinkable…turning his back on his duty at Mithril for the express purpose of having a future…with her.
Kurz, as infuriating as ever had nailed it…Sousuke had fallen in love, deeply, hopelessly in love with Kaname. That bastard Guaron had also seen it and had used it to drive Sousuke into madness when he told him that he had one of his twin assassins Yu Lan kill her. The rage and horror he had felt as Guaron gloated on his death bed about slaughtering his beloved made Sousuke absolutely livid, emptying his Glock magazine into him to hasten his entrance into Hell. And after he had done that and had leapt out the window to the street as a bomb attached to Gauron's life support detonated, he felt as if he himself had died as well. Then, out of the dark of night and his despair she emerged, like the dawn to draw him back from the empty pit of death to life.
"Well, here we are," Kaname announced cheerfully shaking Sousuke from his reverie. Always the soldier he scanned the scene, a rather majestic view across the river of the cityscape against the backdrop of the sky and setting sun. She giggled in delight as she released his hand, stretched her arms upward, and did a graceful pirouette in the golden rays, filling his heart with warmth that rivaled the glow around them as he watched her.
"So what is this place anyway?" Sousuke asked. He ignored the heat rising in his body as her nearness was beginning to drive him to distraction.
"It's my special secret place," Kaname replied. "Remember you took me to your special secret place on the island?"
He nodded with a grunt.
"Well this is mine," she declared, spreading her arms out as if conducting a presentation. She sat down on the grass and pulled her shapely knees to her chest, hugging them and as Sousuke perched down beside her she continued her story.
"When my father arranged for me and my mother to return to Japan from New York, I was really looking forward to it. She and I were very close and she had told me how beautiful Japan was so I couldn't wait to get here. I was twelve, ready to enter junior high and was so excited…until…"
Sousuke leaned closer. "Until what?"
A cloud crossed over Kaname's pretty face. "Right away the kids at middle school made fun of me, calling me gaijin…,'
Gaijin…outsider…a feeling I always felt as long as I could remember...
"It was hell for me as every day the kids in middle school ridiculed me. And every day I would cry as I walked home…so I found this place one day as I walked home and cried my heart out to the river. Then I found out that my mother was sick and while I tried to take care of her, I came here to release. But when my mother died I felt so alone and defeated and the sound of the water and the way it kept moving inspired me. It helped me decide that crying was a sign of defeat and I would not let anyone ever again defeat me. And ever since when I need to let loose I come here." She added softly as she stared out at the rushing water, "It listens."
Silent, Sousuke was stunned as he digested all she said. This was a side of Kaname that added to her status as an enigma in his mind, yet cemented her deeply into his heart. He found himself overpowered by the desire to remove anything that caused her grief or pain. And he was further amazed by the fact that for all their differences, they were in many ways kindred souls…two lonely people who covered their individual pain in different yet effective ways, fooling everyone around them…
Except each other…
I'll never let anyone or anything hurt her ever again…I swear it Sousuke declared to himself as he gazed at her, encased in the golden glow of the sunset, making her appear ethereal, not unlike how she appeared to him in Hong Kong when the dawn light had surrounded her and made her into a celestial being; an angel.
My angel…
It was ironic that Mithril had given Kaname the codename "Angel" because it fit her…especially to Sousuke in spite of her feisty and combative nature. She had been an angel to him, helping him get through the battlefield of Jindai High School and the other battlefields as he fought those who wanted her Whispered powers. She even placed herself in the front lines of battle and was his lynch pin as he used the AS Arbalest to defeat Behemoth, and all the versions of Venom that had plagued him as well as using her powers to save the Tuatha de Danaan from Guaron's clutches. As he had told her before if not for her, he would have been dead many times over. She had become essential, like sustenance to him and all he wanted in life was to be with her.
As his thoughts ran on, the sun had made its descent to the western horizon, painting the sky in a kaleidoscope of color, a breathtaking signature to the day and as they watched the spectacle Kaname sighed again, drawing another look of concern from Sousuke.
"Are you okay, Kaname?" he asked as he thought he saw the glimmer of a tear on her lashes.
But she shook her ebony head with a smile as she replied, "I'm fine, Sousuke. It's the sunset, it's so beautiful." Her eyes were focused on the horizon while his were fixed on her.
"So beautiful," Sousuke echoed as he stared at Kaname, aching to reach out and touch her satiny cheek but quickly quashing the feeling. Instead he got up and stated, "We should be heading home now, it's almost dark."
"Just a few more minutes, okay? I want to watch it disappear behind the buildings," Kaname said as she remained seated on the grass. Unable to deny her anything Sousuke waited, anxiously watching the shadows as evening deepened…
About ten minutes later the sun had set and Sousuke and Kaname walked toward home under the fluorescent glow of streetlights. Always on the alert, he scanned dark areas of overgrown shrubbery, vacant lots, or garbage dumpsters, prime hiding places for any potential terrorist that may be lurking about. Instinctively, he patted his shoulder holster where his Glock 26 rested, loaded and ready if he needed it. Kaname watched as he reached his hand in his jacket as if for the weapon.
"Uh, Sousuke?"
"Yes, Kaname?"
"Why are you reaching for your gun?" she wanted to know.
"I'm not. It's just a precautionary measure," he assured her as he warily glanced side to side.
She sighed resignedly as they continued walking along. Soon they came to the front gate for Maison K, Kaname's apartment building. She used her key to enter and together the two climbed the cement staircases leading to the fourth floor where her unit was. They walked along until they came to the door to her apartment and she slid her key into the lock to open the door.
Feeling unusually shy Kaname lowered her head and toed the welcome mat as Sousuke stood before her. "Uhh, thanks for walking me home."
His own head lowered slightly Sousuke replied, "Not a problem."
It figures she said to herself Typical Sousuke. But why do I feel so…unsure and nervous? I mean he did come back with me and he reregistered at school which proves he plans on staying in Tokyo so I should be totally at ease. But I remember Tessa told me how she felt about him and then I saw that photo of the two of them together on the beach in her safe so I wonder…but he IS here…with me. Now that he's come back I don't want him to leave me even for the night, I want to be with him...always. Kaname continued fretting as she bit her lip in consternation drawing Sousuke's immediate attention.
"Kaname, is something wrong?" Sousuke asked.
Kaname met his gaze, soft pools of gray that appeared blue in the twilight, caring and gentle as he waited for her reply. Mesmerized, she shook her head and answered, "No but I was wondering…"
"What?"
She took a deep breath and burst out, "Are you hungry?"
Taken slightly aback Sousuke hesitated but then smiled a bit as he replied, "Actually…I'm starving. And since I just moved back here I haven't done any shopping."
"Oh really?" Kaname brightened up as she said eagerly, "Well then why don't you come in and eat with me?"
Appearing hesitant he said, "I really don't want to trouble you."
Feeling the sting of disappointment she sighed and said irritably, "Look, I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want to." Folding her arms across her chest she added, "It's just as easy to cook for two as it is for one."
For a pregnant moment the atmosphere between them was suspended, their mutual feelings almost hanging in the balance as they seemed to anticipate and expect rejection from the other. Then Sousuke nodded as he said, "Understood. Then I would be very pleased to stay and eat."
As I said before typical Sousuke Kaname sighed, "Then come on in…"
As he followed Kaname into her apartment Sousuke brooded I'm entering uncharted waters here…at least that's how I feel. Like something's about to happen that I really want…yet at the same time I'm dreading it because I know things will permanently change between Kaname and me. But actually things changed between us that night she cut my hair...
Absently, Sousuke fingered his locks as he passed the bathroom and glanced at his reflection in the mirror, remembering sitting there as Kaname clipped his overgrown head, the feel of her fingers running through his hair, almost caressingly as her lush and beautiful body was leaning close, his face centimeters from her…
"Sousuke?" Kaname called to him as he turned dazedly toward her, his mind still stuck in the fantasy.
"Huh?"
Peering at him askance she asked, "Are you okay?"
Realizing that he was staring at her bosom Sousuke came back to reality and shifted immediately into his comfort zone…proper military protocol. Snapping to attention he barked, "I'm perfectly fine, Chidori."
With a dubious look Kaname said, "If you say so. C'mon."
He continued following her over to the table by the kitchenette and she gestured to him. "Have a seat and I'll fix us dinner. So what would you like?"
Sousuke fought to keep his eyes on her face as he replied, "Please don't go to any trouble, leftovers would be fine."
Kaname headed for the refrigerator and looked inside. Rooting around she stated, "Well, I do have some leftover tempura I made before I left for Hong Kong to bring you back." She sniffed at the dish and said, "It hasn't gone bad yet so is that alright?"
Sousuke met her direct coffee gaze and nodded. "Sure. That sounds fine." His stomach responded to emphasize the statement with a loud growl.
He blushed in embarrassment as she giggled and added, "I can also make some curried rice to go with it. How's that sound?"
Among her many talents, Kaname Chidori was an accomplished cook, something she had displayed to Sousuke many times since they had met. And her curried rice had become his absolute favorite dish so her offer to make it had evoked gratitude and a growing feeling of tenderness in him.
His eyes softened Sousuke replied, "That would be…wonderful."
She grinned and said cheerfully, "All right then comin' right up." Humming she donned a light yellow apron with a smiling chicken bearing kanji that read "Kiss The Cook". It was like Kaname herself, bright and saucy bringing a smile to Sousuke's lips.
She's really like nobody else I've ever known Sousuke admitted to himself as he watched her prepare the meal. The very definition of a paradox; both fragile and fierce at the same time, she's…mesmerizing. No matter what I can't get her out of my mind…and I don't ever want to.
Sousuke's mind then presented to him a slide show of recent past events that had nearly destroyed him all starting with what had briefly been the happiest night of his life. After Kaname had cut his hair and filled his belly, he had returned to his place his heart over brimming with joy. The words she had whispered in his ear as she clipped his overgrown bush had warmed his heart…
"There's nobody I trust to protect me more than you, Sousuke."
Kaname's declaration was a bittersweet echo in his head as he stared across through his window at her apartment and determined to protect her with his life then turned on his laptop to check for messages. There after he keyed in his password was the order that shattered his world, ending with…
…Any further contact with Kaname Chidori is strictly forbidden.
Filled with a fury he had never known before, Sousuke rammed his fist into the screen, completely destroying the laptop. Not finished, he then stormed out onto the balcony and began shouting out to Wraith, demanding he show himself…
Wraith, that self-righteous bastard…telling me I was third-rate at protecting her and then allowing Gauron's assassin to get close enough to kill her. For all their wanting me out of the picture it's clear the Intelligence Division is doing a substandard job keeping her safe. On top of that Mithril ignored my many repeated reports warning that would happen…even the Captain admitted she wanted to get me out of Chidori's life.
Sousuke felt anger rise in him at the way up to now Mithril had dictated his life. And as much as he had despised Guaron and was happy to have sent him to hell he had been right, Mithril had coiled itself around him like a snake, sucking away his identity as a human being until he had become an ultra-military robot who obeyed any order without question. The general's reaction to his request to alter his contract was evident to that fact and made it clear to him that he needed to take back his humanity. As a student at Tokyo's Jindai High, he was discovering what it was like to be Sousuke Sagara, the young man, with a circle of friends like Shinji Kazuma and Onodii. And to have a growing relationship with a girl like Kaname Chidori.
At that thought Sousuke's eyes were drawn to the shapely form of Kaname as she was busy fixing their dinner, humming a popular tune. He continued to gaze at her, his heart pounding as he acknowledged his feelings…
When Mithril told me I had to leave and have no more contact with Chidori it was as if a dark curtain had fallen over me…I became numb and lifeless, not caring about anything…and I really, truly hated Mithril and especially that hunk of junk Arbalest, keeping me chained to something I no longer wanted to be part of, that was ripping me away from the one I love. But my life belongs to me and my heart belongs to her…
Sousuke then rose silently and purposely made his way around to the kitchenette, coming up right behind Kaname. He hesitated slightly and then as he tried to do in the hallway at school before Kyoko and the other girls had interrupted, slid his arms around her waist. She stiffened for a millisecond then relaxed as she leaned back against him and his face burrowed into her inky mane.
"If we're not careful, the rice will burn," Kaname admonished softly as the pan with the rice cooking sizzled.
At that moment Sousuke honestly did not give a tinker's damn if the rice or anything else burned. His hunger for food was supplanted by another as his senses were swimming and desire raced through his body with his face buried in the silky nape of her neck.
Reaching for the switch under the burner and giggling she said, "At least let me turn down the heat."
Impossible Sousuke said to himself The temperature's been rising ever since I followed you in here. "Sorry," he apologized.
"Silly."
Still locked in Sousuke's embrace Kaname turned around and faced him, her coffee eyes twinkling. Her lovely face was lit with a smile, turned up to his as her hands rested on his chest, her expression open and inviting. Tossing his cautions aside his hands slid up from her waist, to her arms, and cupped her face, drawing her lips to his in a slow kiss. He did not have very much previous experience with women but it did not matter because as he tasted the sweetness of Kaname, caressing and kissing her became natural and instinctive, like breathing. His body was reacting naturally as well, his blood on fire as he became fully aroused, wanting to bury himself in her with all his might.
As the kiss deepened Sousuke also felt Kaname's eager response. She kissed him back with gusto, her arms snaking about him, one hand laced in his hair, the other resting low on his back, sending him into a state of total bliss, something new for him. In return, his own hands explored, entangled in her long tresses and rhythmically stroking her as her tongue danced inside his mouth. Slowly, sweetly she was causing a blur in his mind and he was dangerously close to losing control and scooping her up into his arms to carry her into the bedroom. Breathless, they both drew apart.
Gasping, Kaname said, "Sousuke, I can't bel--,"
Wanting more of her he cut her off with his warm, insistent mouth, kissing her with a fervor he had previously reserved for night maneuvers on the beach at Merida Island. At the same time his head was filled with no other thought but her and how much he loved her…
Kaname…Kaname…I just can't get enough of you…you've completely invaded my entire being, body, mind, heart, and soul. Never in my life did I think I could ever feel like this. Remember the time we talked at the train station and you said that even I could find someone nice who understands me to be my girlfriend? Well at the time I felt and now I know that person is you. In this whole mess Mithril did one thing right and that was giving you the codename "Angel" because that's exactly what you are…more importantly you're MY angel…
Sousuke pulled slowly back, his hands cradling her face as she gazed at him in wonder. One of his worse subjects in school was classical Japanese but as her eyes drew him into their velvety depths the Japanese words for what she was spilled from his lips…
"Watashi no tenshi," he murmured.
Although he and Kaname mostly spoke English to each other, she had a good grasp of Japanese and his statement lit her face like the summer sun. She plastered herself to him and his arms encircled her, holding her close to his heart…
Watashi no tenshi…
END