my name: evast23 (like i'll actually give you my real name

books/series I've read: twilight saga, Hunger Games trilogy, Harry Potter series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, Heroes of Olympus series (even though their only on the 3rd book), 39 clues series, Artemis Fowl, (the list will grow in time)

things you should know: I'm a girl with a short temper who loves nature , music, and reading, hates writing and is in no way a people person.

The Percy Jackson pledge

I promise to remember Percy

whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

whenever a spider comes near me.

I promise to protect nature

for Grover sake of course.

I promise to remember Luke

whenever my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Chiron

every time i see a sign that says, "free pony ride".

I promise to remember Tyson

whenever a friend sticks by my side.

I promise to remember Thalia

whenever a friend is scared of heights.

I promise to remember Clarisse

whenever I see someone who lives for the fight.

I promise to remember Bianca

whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother.

I promise to remember Nico

whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others.

I promise to remember Zoe

whenever I watch the stars.

I promise to remember Rachel

whenever a limo passes my car.

I promise to remember the Stolls

whenever my home is beggining to unsettle.

I promise to remember Beckendorf

whenever there is someone working with metal.

I promise to remember Silena

whenever I see someone taking one for the team.

I promise to remember Michael Yew

whenever I see a smile that gleams.

I promise to remember Briares

whenever I see someone playing hand games.

I promise to remember those lost in the Labyrinth

whenever I see a cloth in flames.

I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos

whenever I see someone go against all odds.

I shall keep this oath forever

or be punished by the wrath of Mrs.Dodds

Yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesome demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers/skills
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down (politely)
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood
NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

Copy and paste this acronym if you love Percy Jackson:

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Apollo. The god of music, prophecy, sanity, truth, poetry, reason, healing, disease, archery, and the sun.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

You Know You're Obsessed With Percy Jackson and the Olympians When...

~There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, "CALM DOWN, ZEUS!"

~Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

~When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

~You burn food to see if it smells good.

~You see an owl, you go, "Hi Athena!"

~Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

~You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

~You sometimes try to control water.

~You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

~You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

~Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.

~You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat.

~You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.

~Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp Half-Blood shirt.

~You are a PJO character for Halloween.

~Recite lines randomly from the books.

~When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.

~Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

~You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.

~You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

~You have dreams - or dream - about PJO characters/events.

~You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

~That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

~In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"

~You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

~When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"

~You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

~You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies .

~You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:

-Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. also shes a hunter, her aim with an arrow is very accurate...

-Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.

-Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.

-Hermes- Cutting off your Internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.

-Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and trust me, I don’t want to waste her time!

~You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.

~You give all your siblings god parents

~You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

~You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.

~You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

~You still think Thuke could happen.

~You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

~You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

~Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.

~You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head.

~You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO PJO and use it in conversations.

~You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"

~When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters.

~You go to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor. When the dude at the desk looks at you weird,you announce that you’re a demigod.

~You put in grey contacts and pretend that you are Annabeth

~You curse out the gods when something bad happens.

~You watch the show and read the book every chance you get.

~You claim that you are a demigod and need to go to Camp in New York.

~You go to New York and ask for a man named Chiron and that you need to go with him.

~You look for a Latin teacher that is in a wheelchair and loves to throw Greek field days.

~You try to find Rachel and ask her for a prophecy.

~Every time a major water storm or earthquake happens, you scream at Poseidon

~Every time something or someone dies that you are close to, you blame Hades.

~You’re in a running/swimming race, and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

~You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

~Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

~You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

~You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

~You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

~You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.

~You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!). (No offense, Ares)

~You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses???

~Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

~When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

~You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.

~Every time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

~You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

~Whenever your Internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

~You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.

~And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

~You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.

~When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"

~You cried when you finished TLO.

~You eat, sleep, and breathe Percabeth.

~Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page.

~You're in love with a fictional character.

~You and your BFF call yourselves geeks because you sit around and talk about PJO. (Me and my buddy Sausage Link. lol)

~You own homemade replicas of things from the PJO series.

~You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood.

~If you want to push Rachel Elizabeth Dare off a cliff. (One of my favorites. ;D)

~You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.

~You yell "Burrito Fight!" whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.

~You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.

~You know which pages the good parts are on.

~You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear. (It's true, I totally do!)

~You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

~You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (Athena)

~You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

~You have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework.

~You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

~You start doing pro/con lists in your head during Math when you’re supposed to be taking notes.

~You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.

~You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.

~Each day you check every fan site you know of/for new information.

~You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.

~You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

~The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, "Have you read PJO?"

~On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a ~monument.

~You yell "Mizzenmast!" whenever you enter a boat.

~You have one (or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room.

~You know PJO better then most sane people.

~You have links to every great PJO site.

~You add things to the list every day.

~You know what you would do if you were Percy.

~You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not.

~At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.

~You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work.

~For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Mythomagic cards, and they understood.

~Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'.

~You are trying to learn Greek. (I learned the Alphabet and can write it fluently!)

~You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.

~Every language you know is some form of Ancient Greek.

~You shriek every time you see a guy with black hair and green eyes.

~You have an instant crush on Nico!

~You just have to research more about Greek mythology (I am now a genius about that field.)

~You call up the Camp Half Blood number.

~You want to learn Latin.

~About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross-over.

~You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you have.

~You make sure all of your friends (or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO.

~Your friends (at least one), think you are obsessed with PJO, and you agree.

~A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed.

~You have something on your school things (or home things), that says 'Daughter (or son if you're a guy) of god/goddess’, and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says ‘Daughter an unliked god/goddess’.

~You’re nodding and smiling when you read this

~You own every single book.

~You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.

~You call yourself a demigod.

~You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real.

~You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO.

~You've called someone you know a satyr.

~You name your pet fish Clovis

~You noticed that in TLO, Rick Riordan wrote Connor in Chapter 3 (I Take a Sneak Peak to my Death) and Conner in Chapter 10 (I Buy Some New Friends).

~You noticed that in TLT, Rick Riordan said the girl in Percy’s dream, (Thalia) had ‘stormy green eyes,’ when in fact she has electric blue eyes.

~When you're History teacher asks you what's your favorite food and you answer 'Double Stuf Oreos' because Ares gave them those with a backpack in TLT.

~You accidentally call one of your friends a PJO name.

~You change the lyrics in LOVE STORY by Taylor Swift from, "Marry me, Juliet" to "Marry me, Annabeth".

~You try to talk to horses.

~You try to summon the dead.

~You try to summon lightning.

~You try to breathe underwater.

~You look for an entrance to the Labyrinth in your basement.

~You check to see if horses have wings before you ride them.

~You have done at least 15 (or more) of the above things.

~YOU HAVE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE PAGE!!!

╔══╗
║██║ Put this
║ o ║ on your page
╚══╝ if you like music

x ╔╗╔╦══╦══╦══╦╗╔╗
x ║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║║║║ XxXxXxXxXxX
x ║╚╝║╚╝║╚╝╣╚╝╣╚╝║ xXxPotterxXx... RuLEs.
x ║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║╔╗║╗╔╝ XxXxXxXxXxX
x ╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝╚╝

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(No shit Sherlock...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

92 percent of teenagers would die if Ambercrombie and Fitch told them it's not cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

If you ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, C&P

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro

If people think you are mentally insane...copy this into your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, C&P

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

If you've ever walked into a doorway you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or have an insane friend, copy and paste this on your pro.

If you think the kids should just stop chasing Lucky and leave the freakin' leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste!

If you have a problem with counselors, copy and paste!!

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste.

If you think everyone's out of their minds (including yourself...but that's a given), copy and paste this to your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this into your profile (Me: I was reading

If you are a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is plotting world domination,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who hasn't and likes bageals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste into your pro

If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that when you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...C&P (note: its "if you have EVER"... I don't now! :P)

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree C&P!!

If you have your own little world, C&P

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste

You Know You Live in 2007 When...

1. you go to a party, sit down, and take myspace/facebook pics
haven't played solitaire with real cards in years
3.the reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/Live Journal/myspace/facebook
'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV (me: I forget about that button...O.o)
6. your evening activity is sitting at the computer
read this list, and keep nodding and smiling (me: O.o is this list psychic?!)
think about how stupid you are for reading this (me: omc, it is!)
were too busy to notice number five
10. you actually scrolled/looked back up to see if there was a number five
11.and now you're laughing at your own stupidity
12.put this in your pro is you fell for it. (me: you know you did, I know you did, everyone else might as well know it too)

Labels, Sterotypes and Pre-Conceptions

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be lesbian.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or Emo.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (There's something called a high metabolism, dearie)
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. (Look at the above, "have lots of friends" )
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I CHAT, SO I MUST be having cyber sex. (Tell that to everyone on forums/MSN/omegle)
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run m over!

You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!

An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my freaking soda"

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

95 percent of teen girls would rush in a mob to every sperm bank if Robert Pattinson announced that he had donated sperm. Copy this to your profile if you would be part of the 5 percent holding a gun, watching the mob rush by, and picking off the weaklings

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Stupid Test

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off someones property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Walked out of the house in house-shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil (Still have the scar)
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funer, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions correctly
67.Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth