Some conclusions I've drawn from reading fanfiction:

1) Any time a summary says "Better than it sounds!" it isn't.

2) Any time a summary says "First fic, please be gentle!" it's because the writer, deep inside, knows it's not very good.

3) Any summary starting with "What if. . ." describes a story that is mediocre at best.

4) Any author that posts a new chapter that consists of an apology that a new chapter isn't ready yet, deserves to be flogged with a wet noodle.

5) Any author that promises to never abandon a(ny) story, and then does, should be covered in honey and feathers.

6) Any author that feels the need to label a flashback as FLASHBACK, desperately needs to work on their writing skills. If it's not obvious, then there's a problem.

7) Any author that feels the need to insert author's notes in the middle of their chapter to explain or excuse things, should have to wear a sign saying "Look at me! I want to be an author when I grow up!" because they obviously crave attention.

8) If the author can't be bothered to spell-check the summary, then the story will be so filled with bad spelling, grammar, and punctuation that you'll want to stab yourself in the eyes with a sharpened pencil.

9) Authors who feel the need to "update" Harry Potter by using netspeak (e.g. LOL, N-E-Way) and its ilk have completely missed the feel and characterization of Harry and his friends.

10) Authors who can't even capitalize the name of their story correctly have a better-than-average chance of writing just as poorly.

11) "Free verse" translates as "I can't be bothered to use proper grammar and punctuation."

12) Authors who beg for reviews but never bother responding to them probably don't worry about other things like plot holes.

13) Authors who spend inordinate amounts of time detailing things that have no bearing on the plot (verbose descriptions of a house that we never see again, extensive listings of inheritances that play no part in the plot) are either: A) trying to inflate their word-count for NaNoWriMo, B) way too enamored of their perfect descriptions, or C) trying to cover up a lack of plot.

14) If the story isn't finished, and the author has decided to go back and edit the previous chapters, it's almost a sure bet that the story will never get finished.

15) If the author feels the need to specify that Harry (or any other male character) did something in a "manly way", e.g. "He gave Ron a manly hug", or "He said 'I love you guys' in a manly way," then the author isn't very sure of their characters. It's as if they're afraid Harry might stand up in the middle of their story and announce his (apparently latent) homosexual tendencies.

16) All general statements have exceptions. Even this one.