Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than the plot =]
A/N: I was going to wait and post this after I had completed Stonewall High (which will be finished with in the next month or so... give or take a week... or two), but I'm so unbelievably proud of this that I just had to give it a shot. That and I have a few chapters pre-written and I shouldn't have to worry about writing more of this until after Stonewalls done with...
Anyways! Drop me a word or two if you can, feed back is much apreciated! And of course, thanks to my Beta GabsGen, who is absolutely fantastic! Enjoy - Jessica
Things you should know:
Timeline: Mid-June, 1996
POV: The Prologue, is in a woman's point of view, I'm sure you can figure out whose, while the first chapter is in Harry's point of view. I'll be switching between the two a lot as the story goes on.
Italics = Memories
Quote: I've got a really bad disease, it's got me begging on my hands and knees... So, take me to emergency, 'Cause something seems to be missing... Somebody take the pain away, It's like an ulcer bleeding in my brain... So send me to the pharmacy so I can lose my memory. I'm elated, medicated.
Lord knows I tried to find a way... to run away
Restless Heart Syndrome - Green Day
Blood and Chocolate
Part One: Red Sky
Prologue: Wince, Gasp, Moan
If there was one thing that I ever thought I would do with my life, it certainly wasn't this. I never, not for a moment, ever thought that my life would end up in the state it was in. Even after everything, I thought maybe one day I would probably get to have my own life, a quiet one, with a man who loves me, children of my own. My own little family away from that mad house I grew up in. Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers, and my mum, even as mental as she seems… I just need my life back.
Obviously that's never going to happen. Not now. Not ever. But I have him now, and that's all I need, even if it is just us, me and him… him and I, for all eternity. I love him, and he'sin love with me, and that's all the reassurance that I need to go through with this. My friends think I'm crazy, and my brothers are sure to hate him for what he's about to do, for a while, at the least.
But it'll get better, and they'll grow to understand that I need him. I need him more than even he knows. Even standing here now, naked as the day I was born, pinned to the wall by the love of my life, I don't regret my decision. He needs this as much as I do.
It started with soft kisses, fluttering across my jaw, growing in intensity as they followed an invisible line to the juncture of my neck and my shoulder. And I can feel his razor sharp teeth sinking in through my skin, first there's a twinge of pain, and I can't help the wince, that gasp of surprise at the unique feeling. But soon I'm there with him, and I've never felt more connected to someone in my life, it felt like a lightning bolt coursing through my veins.
Ecstasy.
I throw my head back and moan, but his hands are there, threading through my hair, holding my head in place. My legs turn to jelly, and I'm surprised I'm still standing. He's there again, his free arm sliding around my waist, holding my body flush against his. That's when I know I would never want to be anywhere else, not ever. And it doesn't matter that I know I'm never going to get a quiet life, off away from the madness that is my life now. Because me and him, we'll go on forever, just the two of us.
What we have is so much better.
Chapter One: Faint
*Harry's POV*
I was in agony. There were no other words to describe it, just pure, unadulterated pain, like a thousand knives stabbing me, all over, every limb, every tiny little particle was on fire, screaming at me to make it stop. But I couldn't. And this was far from over.
Pretty much limping out of the bathroom, I lowered myself onto the middle of the double bed. I groaned as my aching back sank into the mattress. Sirius had been very particular about making sure I wouldn't be able to feel the springs – at all.
I closed my eyes, taking deep soothing breaths, and try to picture myself somewhere else, somewhere - anywhere, away from the mess I was in right now…
I'd been feeling it all day.
A horrible churning feeling in my stomach that wouldn't go away. I felt like I could throw up at any moment, my back ached beyond belief, my legs felt like lead, and I could barely keep my eyes open through breakfast, even through Hermione's insistent 'Eat something, Harry. You'll need the energy to get through today's exams!' I had a horrible lump in my throat, like my tonsils were pushing together, which made it hard to swallow, never mind keep food down.
I'd stick to pumpkin juice today… My hands had shakenas I picked up the jug of juice, so much so that I had to use both hands to pour the stuff into my goblet. Ron thought I should pull a sicky and get out of the tests; apparently I 'Sure as hell look ill enough'. Maybe everything would have ended out better if I had.
I groaned quietly, letting my head drop into the wall in front of me, I felt so hot, and yet I could feel a cold sweat breaking out across my forehead. It had been bad enough falling asleep in the middle of the History of Magic exam, never mind the fact that I'd dragged five of my best friends from Scotland to London, bluffed our way into the Ministry of Magic, and broken into the Department of Mysteries, but now finding out that it had all been for nothing?
Sirius wasn't here. Never had been by the looks of things. But he wasn't at Grimmauld Place either, so where the hell was he? The cool stone wall soothed my burning forehead only briefly, calming me down just slightly before the next onslaught of pain hit me, and once again I really, really just wanted to go curl up in bed and never re-emerge.
"Harry?" Ron called.
I managed to lift my head away from the wall. "What?" To be honest I couldn't care less what my best friend had to say, I didn't really feel like opening my mouth at all right now.
"Have you seen this?"
"What?" I dragged my feet over to where they were all gathered further down the aisle. "What is it?"
"It's got your name on." He said quietly, referring to one of the dusty spheres on the shelves in front of him. He pointed one out in particular and I had to crane my neck to read the label.
'S.P.T to A.P.W.B.D
Dark Lord
And (?) Harry Potter'
Ron slowly turned on the spot, taking in all the other spheres. "What the hell is this place? Why's your name down here?"
But I wasn't listening. Wanting a closer look, hoping that the trip down here maybe hadn't been a complete farce, I reached out for the small sphere.
"Harry I don't think you should touch it." Said Hermione sharply, her hand on my shoulder.
I took it regardless, wiping away the dust that had accumulated over the years. There was a dull glow emanating from it that only got brighter as more of it was revealed under the thick layer of dirt. It was exceedingly warm, but it seemed completely normal, not at all dangerous. I threw it in the air and caught it, bringing it up closer to get a better look at the contents.
"Careful, Harry." reprimanded Hermione, looking over my shoulder at the object in my hand. The others had gathered around soon after, eager to know what it was.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a drawling voice spoke. "Very good, Potter. Now turn around slowly, and give that to me."
There were twelve of them, completely surrounding us, wand tips shining brightly, pointing directly at our hearts. I couldn't pinpoint any particular face, as they were all covered by hoods, and masks. Ginny gave a gasp of horror behind me, and I felt Hermione's fingers twist around the material of my robes at my right elbow.
"To me, Potter." Repeated Lucius Malfoy as he held out a hand, palm up, awaiting its prize.
Only I couldn't seem to concentrate on his face. My eyes were dropping under the bright lights contrasting in the darkness and it was all I could do to keep breathing. A stabbing pain was emanating from my jaw, travelling down my neck, right through to my stomach. That undeniable need to throw up had never been stronger.
I felt my grip on the sphere slackening as my legs weakened, and my eyesight blurred. I let out a soft moan, almost doubling over in pain, Hermione's hand moving to grip my entire elbow tightly as a couple of Death Eaters laughed; obviously assuming that Malfoy had done something to me.
I was barely conscious as there was a loud chorus of thuds while numerous Death Eaters hit the ground, stunned. All but two. I saw a dark figure come intoview. He stood in front of me, protecting me as my knees hit the floor and the sphere slipped out of my grip. I heard it smash to the floor, and a cry of despair as it dropped. My eyes slid shut, as I heard a crack; the man in front of him had punched Malfoy. There was another thud as he hit the floor.
I felt a strong set of arms wrap around my shoulders, definitely not Hermione's. And someone is speaking close to my ear. "Bella, do me a favour and take your Death Eater friends and leave?"
There was a loud crack, and then whispered words of reassurance in my ear as everything went black.
My eyes shot open as someone knocked loudly on the door. I groaned and covered my eyes with my hands, blocking the light spilling through the open doors as Sirius entered and closed it behind him.
"I'd have let you in, but I can't move."
Sirius exhaled slowly, walking in with a tray filled with breakfast foods. "Figured you might want some food." He placed it down on the bed by my hips and sat cross legged at my feet. "How are you feeling?"
I groaned again. "How do you think?" I said thickly, my voice hoarse.
He grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. Come on, you need to eat."
I really didn't think I could stomach anything right now, but Sirius was going spare trying to help make me more comfortable, even with the uproar from his upcoming trial, and all the Healers flying in and out of the house to make sure my situation wasn't deteriorating. The least I could do was humour him.
I clenched my teeth and forced myself into an upright position, piling my pillows up behind my head and back. Spreading my legs out across the bed, I move the tray to rest carefully in between them. Starting off small, I poured myself a glass of orange juice, forcing myself to swallow it.
Sirius seemed to relax. "I'd eat with you, but I had Remus lace everything with strong pain relieving potions. They'll make you a bit drowsy, but it's either that or you'd pretty much be screaming by dinner." He explained.
I nodded, taking another large gulp of orange juice as I felt the potion beginning to kick in. Sirius watched me eat for a few minutes before he began to talk about one thing or another, the conversation slowly fading toward his trial on the 12th of July.
"You scared yet then?" I asked, sliding down against the pillows, scratching the back of my head. I was starting to feel less lucid.
"Not really… on the off chance that I don't walk free, I can just break out again – they never did figure out how I did it the first time…" he smirked, watching me for a moment before he caught me scratching the right side of my neck.
He grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from my neck. "Don't! You'll make it worse."
I pulled a face. "It won't make it worse, Sirius. It'll just hurt more."
"Exactly! So don't do it!" He said, scowling. I sighed and slid back down against the pillows a bit, yawning widely. His face softened. "You get some more sleep. I'll be up to check on you in a bit." He ran his fingers through my hair once, before picking up the tray and leaving the room, switching off the lamps as he went.
I closed my eyes, thinking back to when I'd woken up, and the news that had been brought with it.
I next awoke lying on something soft, my skin was still burning to the touch, and yet I felt so damned cold. In the time it took to realize I was in a bed, I had already yanked the duvet up over my head, knocking the hand in my hair out of the way as I burrowed under the thick layers of blankets. Then the hand moved down to be a calming weight on my lower back, rubbing in soft circles.
I let my eyes drop closed again, my head pounding, and my throat on fire. I really needed a drink…
After hearing the door open, and close quietly, I shifted to attempt to hear them better, obviously I probably wouldn't see them, even if my head had been above the blankets, it had been alarmingly dark for that brief moment before I had wrapped myself in a cocoon.
"How is he?" came Lupin's voice from across the room.
The bed weighed down as he sat near my feet. There was a short barking laugh. "I wouldn't know, he was conscious for five seconds before he hid under this lot. "
The hand moved up my back, tugging at the fleece that I held firmly behind my head until my hair was visible. "Harry?"
I opened one eye, looking up at the blurry figure in front of me through the darkness. "Sirius?" it hurt to talk.
The hand was back again, running through my hair. "Umm?"
"You're okay…" I felt myself relax slightly, rolling onto my back. Sirius leaned over and put the lamp on the bedside table on dim as Remus handed me a glass of water, which I gladly took, sitting up so I could drink it without spilling it down my front.
"I'm fine, Harry – I'm more worried about you." He spoke softly, handing me my glasses.
I could see him properly now, sitting in a chair next to me, looking completely knackered. "Where am I?" I croaked, clearing my throat, though that only sent a jolt of pain down my throat. I winced, rubbing the back of my neck.
Sirius shared a look with Remus. "Grimmauld place. I wanted you on the same floor as me, but the only other room up here is Regg's, so I put you in my room." he indicated to the faded posters on the walls.
"But then where did you sleep?"
"I didn't, really." He replied sheepishly. "Been up all night making sure you were okay…"
Remus moved to sit at the end of the bed, crossing his legs, facing toward me. "Your friends are back at Hogwarts safely… Severus got to us in time – we were on standby at the Ministry, just in case you somehow found a way around him. Evidently you did, as he didn't see you return from the forest. We found you down in the DOM, in the Hall of Prophecies. Sirius, Tonks, Kingsley, Moody and I were with you, we managed to stun the Death Eaters behind you, but Sirius –" I caught the grin on my godfathers face.
"Knocked Lucius Malfoy out, and managed to get Bella to take the rest of them and leave. They're cousins you see, sometimesthey will do things for each other, as long as no one else is watching… though she took them straight up to the Atrium, Dumbledore was up there waiting for us to return, and managed to gather most of them up as she was reviving them. Apparently Voldemort got wind of it, because by the time we got up there, most of the Death Eaters were gone, the rest were tied up, Aurors were everywhere, The Minister for Magic was standing there in his pyjamas, and Voldemort grabbed Bella and apparated out. We took you straight here, and sent the students back to school for the last 3 weeks of the term…"
Sirius was still grinning. "Now that the world knows that Voldemort is alive, the Minister's on his way to being sacked, and Dumbledore's pushing for a fair trial – he's sure he can get me off… but he also had some of the best Healers in Britain here yesterday to find out what is wrong with you. Hermione and Ron described how you'd been acting that day, backed up of course by the fact that you fell asleep in an exam and collapsed at the Ministry. You're lucky we were there, you would have died otherwise, once Voldemort got wind of the Prophecy being broken, he'd have been straight down there to… well we don't really want to think about it…" he trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.
I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of it all. "Wait… I don't understand – how long have I been out?"
"Three days." Replied Remus promptly. "The Healers have based themselves in St Mungo's, as it's closest to us, and are currently trying their best to figure out what's wrong with you…. And Sirius' trial is scheduled for a month from now… as long as he can stay out of sight for that long, he can avoid being thrown in a holding cell until they need him."
"But... I'm fine! I probably just have the flu or something... I don't need specialist doctors to figure that out." They both shared another look. "What?" I demanded, starting to get annoyed.
Sirius sighed, pulling an old mirror out of his back pocket, he handed it to me. "Look at yourself."
So I did. I looked ill, sure, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. I was exceedingly pale, and I had dark rings under my eyes, like I hadn't been sleeping, which admittedly, I hadn't. "Sirius, I don't-" He put his hand on my cheek and gently tipped my head to the side, exposing my neck to the mirror. What I saw almost made me drop it in shock. "What the hell is that?" I asked, alarmed, tracing the blood red line, raised, almost vein like, travelling along my jaw line, and down my neck. I pulled back my shirt, finding that it went down further still. The skin around the raised line was incredibly sensitive, and red raw, I couldn't touch it anymore without it stinging.
Remus heaved a sigh. "It goes right down to where your heart is. We have no idea what it is, or how it got there, it just sort of started to develop sometime early yesterday morning. Poppy was here treating you for what she'd thought was the flu, as well, but then she saw that and was completely baffled. We flooedDumbledore and he called in specialists after he'd looked you over and couldn't figure it out either."
I dropped the mirror to the bed, looking slightly disgusted. So what – was something under my skin? Was I dying, mutating, contracting some ridiculously rare, unheard of wizarding illness? "What?!" I said aloud. "What the hell is it?"
Sirius crawled onto the bed, next to me, his fingers above the line, tracing it down as far as was visible above my shirt without actually touching me. Then he tilted my head toward him, and touched a spot at the juncture between my neck and my shoulder. I hissed in pain as the light pressure brought agony and shoved Sirius' hand away.
The animagus sighed. "It's repeating the cycle on the other side- touch that spot right there, and there's a little lump, it's starting to go a bit pink…" he trailed off, looking worried.
I clenched my teeth together, suddenly majorly annoyed that this was even happening to me. I sank back down into the mattress, pulling the blankets up over my head in an attempt to obtain extra heat. I felt so bloody cold.
There was a small bout of silence as I hid from my guardians before the bed springs groaned as Remus stood. "I'm going to floo 'Mungo's – I'll tell Payne it's starting to duplicate on the other side of his neck." He put his hand on my ankle, the closest thing he could reach without falling over. "Get some rest Harry – either me or Sirius will be here when you wake up."
I nodded, realising long after Remus had left that he couldn't actually see the gesture. Sirius' hand was back, a slow soothing movement on my back through the blankets. There was another shift in the bed springs as Sirius moved to lie beside me on top of the blankets. "Do you want me to leave you in peace?" he asked, turning off the lamps again.
"No…" I whispered truthfully as Sirius summoned more blankets, throwing them over the both of us as he curled up behind me. To be honest I'd much prefer he was there in case anything happened. I felt safer having him there for if anything went wrong.
But the company was nice too.
Healer Payne… he was a lot nicer than I'd remembered doctors to be as a kid. Though that could be because he was just so glad to work with 'The Harry Potter'. Sirius liked him, and so did Moony, and that was all that mattered to me. He, being the one leading the team of Healers Dumbledore had set up, was the person I saw most.
He'd first asked me so many questions about how I felt physically, and then done a number of tests, taken blood samples – even from the raised skin around my neck, which had been particularly painful. Payne had been incredibly sensitive about the whole subject, especially when he told me they'd figured out what was wrong with me.
It had been Healer Susan Brand who'd made the connection between the fluid – yes fluid, not blood, that had been obtained from the 'vein' running down from my neck, to the health of my many greats grandfather, who lived in the eighteen hundreds after they thought it prudent to check up on my family history. There was a recessive gene that was procured from him, made dormant by his muggle wife's blood, mixed with his own when they had had children. Muggle blood and wizarding blood connecting can cause many things to be put to one side, the magic, for one, or maybe something as simple as an eye colour. It could remain dormant in your genes for centuries then just pop up out of the blue in one of the decedents.
I suppose that was an easy way of putting what happened to me. The recessive gene had been slightly more lethal than something as simple as an eye colour. The only reason it had even popped up in the first place was because for the first time since that grandfather, a Potter had married into muggle blood – Lily Evans.
Then it was triggered, that's what got me to where I am now.
I tried to suppress it, I really did. But I could feel it bubbling up in my stomach once more, Healer James Payne's voice ringing in my ears.
We've figured out what's wrong with you, Harry.
I clenched my teeth again, falling back against the bedroom wall. I tried to clear my head – think of anything else, anything other than the pain I was reduced to. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, before glancing out across the room.
It's a recessive gene; it was bound to pop up in your line eventually, in the correct environment.
It was set directly next door to Sirius'. Sirius and Remus had built me (using magic) my own personal space, complete with an en suite bathroom. Sirius had wanted me near, but hadn't wanted to disturb his little brothers' room.
Your many greats grandfather was turned at a very young age – but the gene remained dormant in the wake of his muggle wife, essentially protecting their children from the curse.
I couldn't hold it in any longer – I screamed, loud and hard, falling to my knees.
That was until muggle blood ran into your line once more, in the form of your mother.
Healers Payne, Brand, Ryder, and Mayer rushed up the stairs and into my room, closing the door and silencing the room. The Weasley's were coming to stay for the summer today. School had finished two days ago and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had wanted to be closer to Head Quarters. Sirius had offered up their home to them long before he'd known what was wrong with me.
I'm sure he'd have reconsidered had he known. I fell to the floor.
We don't yet know why you haven't gone through 'the change' before now…
I felt them pin me down, trying to administer sedatives. They would knock me out so I couldn't feel the strain of my body slowly changing into something much more terrifying. Sometimes the pain was so bad that I couldn't stay conscious to endure it.
You're a Vampire, Harry.
Payne pushed my head violently to the side, into the wooden floor, the needle pushing past my skin and into my neck. Everything began to fade away. Opening my eyes I saw the blurry image of the 24 year old Healer's terrified face. He dropped the needle to the ground, breathing heavily, nodding to the other Healers to let me go, signaling that the sedative was working.
"I am so sorry…"