artsoccer
 Author has written 20 stories for Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis, Avatar: Last Airbender, Doctor Who, Frozen, and Once Upon a Time. Hello you have just clicked on to the profile page of a self (proudly mind you) proclaimed weirdo (why would anyone want to be normal anyway?), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disoredered (or ADHDed for short), 20 year old girl, college junior, whose pen name is artsoccer. I love to do art and to play soccer, hence the name, artsoccer. Favorites Favorite TV shows: House of Anubis, Mythbusters, Once Upon A Time, Hogan's Heroes, Avatar: The Last Air Bender, Nine Lives of Chloe King, Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb, Doctor Who, Top Gear, X-Files, Constantine, Xena: Warrior Princess, Top Gear, and Supergirl. Favorite Books/Book Series: Ranger's Apprentice, The Brother Band Chronicles, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Lost Hero, The Kane Chronicles, The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Charlie Bone, Maximum Ride, among many others. Favorite Couples: Fabina(OTP), Swan Queen, Amfie, Walfie (yes I know these two are conflicting), Perthabeth, Zia and Carter, Katara and Aang, Suki and Sokka, Max and Fang, and Will and Alyss. Favorite Plays: Wicked, Mama Mia, and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. Favorite Movies: The Thief Lord, True Lies, Total Recall, The Avengers, Captain America, Indiana Jones, The first three Pirates of Caribbean movies, Hidden Figures, Back to the Future, Star Wars, Lego Batman, and Men in Black. Facts About Me (This is why you all came to this page, right?) Age: see above (in case you missed it, I'm twenty) Gender: see above (in case you did not see, I'm a girl) Religion: I am Jewish (IF I SEE ANY ANTISEMITISM I WILL GO AFTER YOU!!!!!) I LOVE CHOCOLATE(I told you that I had ADHD (I do love chocolate though) If I'm reading a good enough book the world could end, and I couldn't care less/ not notice at all. 90% OF TEENS WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN IF JUSTIN BEIBER WAS STANDING ON THE EDGE OF A TOWER READY TO JUMP. COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE 10% OF PEOPLE THAT WOULD BRING A LAWN CHAIR AND POPCORN AND SCREAM "JUMP!" Most teens would suffer a heart attack if they saw somebody burning Twilight Repost this and add your name if you'd be singing campfire songs and toasting marshmallows around it: Ninjakat403, HetaliaSparkleParty, Gir'sdoomsongofdoom, Fluteorwrite, Katnissfire87654, Mellarkfan121, 1pjlover, Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1.) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2.) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3.) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people. If FanFiction to you is what MySpace or Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you don't read 800 lines worth of stuff people have copied into their profile, don't copy this. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile (what do you mean little?) Nintey-six percent of teens won't stand up to God copy and paste this on your profile if your one of the four percent who will If you can't out smart them, out dumb them Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile Your Godly Parent is... ZEUS [ ]You Like Being in Charge [x]You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt. [ ]You were voted Class President. [ ]You do what’s best for everyone. (that doesn't sound very Zeus) [ ]You think you have what it takes to run for President. [ ]You think every problem has a solution. [ ]You love showing off. [x]u like plane rides [ ]You are hydrophobiac 2/10 POSEIDON [x]You feel at home in the water. [ ]Your favorite vacation place is at the beach [ ]You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc. (Never gone:() [ ]You want to do something about the marine species being abused today. [x]You visit the local pool on a regular basis. (As long as my pool counts as local) [ ]You swim professionally. [x]You hate seafood. [x]You never get seasick. [/]You’d rather ride a boat than a plane. [ ]You are acrophobiac 4.5/10 HADES [x]You’re not that much of a people person. [ ]You like staying in the dark and writing poems. [x]You experience bad moods on a regular basis. [ ]You like listening to loud, angry music. [x]You spend most of your time alone. [x]You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying. [x]You like to keep to yourself. [ ]All your closets are padlocked. [ ]You write in diary/journal. [x]You feel most active at night. 6/10 DEMETER [x]You own a garden. [x]You like the great outdoors. [ ]You have a green thumb. [ ]You’re an environmentalist. [ ]You have a special connection with animals. [ ]You’re a vegetarian. [x]You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world [ ]You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly. [ ]You love going to flower shops. [x]You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with. 4/10 ARES [x]You often start fights. [x]You’re a very aggressive type of person. [ ]You like watching wrestling. [ ]You’re competitive. [ ]You like reading about war. [x]You don’t take crap from anybody. [x]You have anger management. (Well I need it:) ) [x]You never back away from a fight. [ ]Everyone does what you say. (I wish) [x]You don’t always think before you do something. 6/10 ATHENA [x]You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. [x]You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis. (Well now I'm going to a nerd school, sooo...) [x]Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. (Hanukkah not Christmas) [ ]You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it. [ ]You’re the valedictorian in your class. [ ]You've never gotten a grade below 90 in your report card. [s]You get political jokes without asking people to explain them. (s for sorta) [x]You think it would be better if you were the President (don't want to be). [x]You have a huge shelf of books at home. [ ]You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful. 5.5/10 APOLLO [x]You’re very creative and artistic. [x]You like listening to all kinds of music in general. [ ]You always feel sunny and optimistic. [x]You are talented at drawing. [ ]You like writing poetry. [ ]You can play at least 3 musical instruments (define "play";). [x]You like going to art museums. [ ]You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. [x]You have straight As in Art on your report card. [x]Your school notebook has more doodles than notes. 6/10 HUNTER OF ARTEMIS [x]You dislike boys in general. [ ]A deer is one of your favorite animals (death to those vermin) [x]You can shoot targets [ ]You like silver. [/]You like the moon better than the sun [x]Zoe Nightshade is awesome. [ ]You love wild animals [ ]You spend most of your time outdoors. [ ]You love to move around the place [x]Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters. (Hunting is just fun :) ) 3.5/10 HEPHAESTUS [x]You have a way with tools. [x]You build awesome things during your free time. [x]You’re the best at Woodshop in your class. [ ]Metalworking is your forte. [ ]You have your own toolbox. [ ]You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots. [x]You’re a techie. [x]You often have carpentry projects. [ ]You dream of being a carpenter. [x]You aren't afraid of fire. 6/10 APHRODITE [ ]Every guy/girl swoons for you. [ ]You like putting on makeup. [ ]You naturally smell good. [ ]You never experience a bad hair day. [ ]Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping. [ ]You’re always at the front of every trend. [ ]You’re the popular girl/guy at your school. [ ]You’re often invited to parties. [ ]Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.” [x]You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis. (making silly faces in the mirror is fun!) 1/10 HERMES [ ]You like pickpocketing your friends. [ ]You’re a prankster. [ ]You’re a speed demon. [x]You consider yourself restless. [ ]You’re the best speaker in the class. [x]You like thinking on your feet and using your wits. [x]You’re inventive and resourceful. [x]You often start arguments. [ ]You’ve never lost a debate. [x]You like making witty and sarcastic statements. 5/10 DIONYSUS [ ]You’re the life of the party. [ ]You like wine. [ ]You've probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there. [ ]You can finish a martini in less than a minute. [ ]You have a happy, cheerful disposition. [ ]You’re a foodie [ ]You like going to social events and mingling with people. [ ]You like trying out new food. [ ]You feel that you’re abundant in life. [ ]You think that too much of anything is bad. 0/10 HECATE [x]Being called 'crazy' is a compliment [x]You like magic [x]You like Harry Potter [x]You're bold [ ]You hate when people think you're the bad guy [ ]You dress dark, but your personality is cheerful and happy [x]You couldn't care less about fashion [ ]Teddy bears are lethal in your hands [x]You like being different from everybody else [x]You can spend hours a day debating something ridiculous 7/10 If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. I will temporarily rule the world, forever. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. The problem with reality is a lack of background music. I laugh in the face of death... maybe not laugh more like a snicker... a quiet snicker... and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back. Oh? Rock beats paper? Okay, you try defending yourself with paper when I throw a rock at you. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. A criminal will stab you in the front. A friend will stab you in the back. A boyfriend will stab you in the heart. But only best friends poke each other with straws. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said. Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night.The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think. Copy and paste this if you're against bullying. One Hundred Things About Me 1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? Brushed my leg against the backside of a couch with a spring that stuck out 29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Don't know Life Lessons 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" 1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Racizzle 2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Rainbow human (or should I classify "human" as least favorite...) 3. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (fav color, fav drink): Rainbow Hot Chocolate 4. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Shadow 5. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fave fruit, and something that can go wrong): Strawberry Words (or pear, grapes, banana, cantaloupe, pinapple ect.) 6. YOUR NICKNAME: (fav chocolate - milk, dark or white and fav season ): Milk none of the above 7. YOUR IMAGINARY FRIENDS NAME: (first letter of your name, first vowel in your favorite girls name and last letter of your favorite boys name): Rax 8. YOUR SPY NAME: (a word your best friend describes your personality and your worst day of the week): Strange Sunday 9. YOUR FUTURE NAME: (first letter of your name, first vowel of your favorite color, last letter of your favorite animal, second vowel of your favorite drink, second letter of your first pet, second to last letter of your favorite fruit, last vowel of your favorite season and first letter of your favorite chocolate - milk, white or dark): Ramohram 1. FIRST NAME: Rachel 2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: My Hebrew name came from my great aunt rose 3. SIBLING NAMES: "Non" and "Applicable" 4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Freshman move in 5. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDS? WHAT?!?! 6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Why does everyone want to know? 7. KIDS?: If your asking if I have . And they drive me crazy, almost as much as adults do. 8. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yeh, I think, maybe not 9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Like a diary, no. Writing Journal, 3 active, one in potential 10. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Nooooo...totally NOT sarcastic (Sense the sarcasm?) 11. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yeah 12. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Krave 14. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU REMOVE THEM? Nope 15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally or Physically? 'Cause mentally yes, and physically no 16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Chocolate with chocolate additives, if possible, like brownies, or chips or sause 17. SHOE SIZE? Depends on the type of shoe. 18. RED OR PINK? How about green? 19. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? My least favorite, or the general populace's least favorite thing? 20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My cat Shadow 21. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO PUT THIS IN THERE PROFILE? Sure, whatever; I don’t care. 22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Um right now I'm at home (so no shoes). I have brown pants 23. LAST THING YOU ATE? food 24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My computer's fan 25. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Multi 26. FAVORITE SMELL? Books and or chocolate 27. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mother 28. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? I'm not attracted to anyone 29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Sorta copied and pasted changed some of the answers... 30. FAVORITE DRINK? Hot Chocolate 31. FAVORITE SPORT? Soccer 32. EYE COLOR? Brown 33. HAT SIZE? Now how the heck am I supposed to know that? 34. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No!Glasses don't want contacts 35. FAVORITE FOOD? CHOCOLATE!!!!!! Nutella!!!!!!!! 36. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? either? 37. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATER? January 38. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My hat with working light bulb on it 39. SUMMER OR WINTER? Swinter 40. HUGS OR KISSES? Neither. 41. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate stuff. 43. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (First name of favorite actor last word in favorite show): Johnny Anubis or Johnny Mythbusters 44. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): If my friends don't know it, a bunch of strangers won't, so not telling you my 45. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): Friraolf 46. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black Hot Chocolate 47. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Aimon (My dad has no middle name, and I have no siblings) 48. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name, fathers middle name): Lynn (See above) 49: YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Shadow 50. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet's name, favorite car) Herbie Car 51. YOUR GANGSTER NAME (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe) Chocolate Sneakers 52. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal) Rainbow Human (see above on the human thing) 53. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers) Siemor Sam 54. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Quinn (I don't know any cities) 55. SPY NAME: (your favorite season, favorite flower) Fall Dead 56. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now) Pear pants 57. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) French Toast Large 59. WRESTLING NAME: (favorite action word, favorite game character) Die Link 60. MURDER NAME: (Your favorite word, favorite kind of food, favorite weapon) Quasi Chocolate Longsword FIRST PUT YOUR FAVORITE HOUSE OF ANUBIS CHARACTERS IN ORDER THAN PLAY AS YOU GO ALONG 1. Amber 1. 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?(Jerome invites Nina and Willow) 2. 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?(Mr. Sweet and Victor) 3. You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6?(Amber or Fabian) 4. 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in…their reaction?(Alfie and Patricia, Poppy walks in) 5. 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?(Nina falls in love with Fabian, Willow) 6. 4 jumps you in a dark alley. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2, or 7(Jerome jumps me; Poppy, Alfie or Patricia) 7. 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later, what happens?(Amber) 8. 1 and 7 are making out and 9 walks in! What happens?(Amber and Patricia, Mr. Sweet walks in) 9. 3 has to marry either 8, 4, or 9. Who do they choose?(Nina has to marry either Willow, Jerome or Mr. Sweet) 10. 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2 is release. What is it?(Patricia kidnaps Alfie and demands from Victor) 11. You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you choose?(Amber or Fabian) 12. 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?(Poppy challenges Jerome) 13. Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens?(Nina) 14. Everyone is invited to 10 and 2’s wedding except for 8. How do they react?(Alfie and Poppy's wedding,Willow is not invited) She wouldn't care, because Willow would be too busy crying over her lose of Alfie to care. 15. Why is 6 afraid of 7?(Fabian afraid of Patricia) 16. 10 gathers everyone around to tell a fairy tale. How does it go?(Poppy) 18. 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house? What happens?(Victor and Mr. Sweet) 19.1 arrives late for 2 and 10’s wedding. What happens? Why are they late? (Amber arrives late for Alfie and Poppy's wedding) 20. Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do? 21. 2 try's to get 1 to go to the zoo. what happens?(Alfie and Amber) 22. 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save herself or 1(Fabian and Amber) 95% of girls would sit and cry if Justin Beiber jumped off of the Empire State Building. Copy and Paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a soda and yell, "Do a flip!" I'm not weird... My reality is just a little different than yours. If you agree, put this on your profile. Things I am not to do at Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month" 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's" 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends" 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice 50) I will not attack my fellow classmates 51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend laughs at you, trips you again, and continues to laugh. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's only yours that's stupid. There are no stupid questions; just stupid people. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key. If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you'd rather read than do sports, paste this into your profile. If you ever pushed a door that says pull, copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish you could write with a feather pen, copy and paste this into your profile. If your English teacher ever told you to stop reading in class, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever proved your teacher wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. If talking to yourself is a common thing, copy and paste this into your profile. 93% of american teens would have a severe emotional break-down if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 that would ask,"What was your first clue?" Then copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile! If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it gets strange. 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. I did. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Dare I say it... if you HAVE died, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have spent multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're not obsessed with Twilight or just don't like it copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list: Grimm Gal, grimmgirl, Elligoat, grimmgurl4ya, SabrinaDaphne13, iizninja (AND VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE! THEY DIE!!!!), charn14,nabian8735(I'm not obsessed), harrypottergirl998, artsoccer Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? Confucius says: Man who stand in middle of road get hit by bus. Confucius says: Man who sit on tack is better off. (Of course a woman would have never sat on tack to begin with) I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver and working ear plugs are platinum The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. My imaginary friend doesn't like you either. A day without sunshine is like... night. Don't knock at Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Do people in England sit around and try to sound like Americans like we try and have British accents? When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Every so often I'll think I'm loosing my marbles, then I remember, I have none left to loose! (o.o) (u u) This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. (do it now) Something to think about: If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetballs? Oh, deep, I know. Everything is funny as long as it's happening to someone else Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder. Last night I was laying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING? Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away from him, and you've got his shoes. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies? What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you. What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you. People tell me I'm weird and I say "You just figured that out?" Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you. I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty! I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to. Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up? If you can't convince them, confuse them. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyways. I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already. Earth is the insane asylum of the universe. There's no place like home . . . but Wal-mart's close. Copy and past this into your profile, if like me you go around on other people's profiles looking for stuff to copy and past. I am the kind of girl that... I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Bold the stupid things you've done! 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand 20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot 21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on(Does it count if I went out in public with it on purpose?) 22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle. 26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke 27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer 28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan 92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them 93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper If you're still reading my profile than I give you a hand (just not my hand), I wouldn't have read this far. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism. there were 3girls They were looking through peoples The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Tonight If you HATE child abusing copy and paste this to your profile. My name Kelly I am only three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Kelly I am only three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school He told his friends that it was cool And when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack Mummy I was a good girl I did what I was told I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another And all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class And never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would I wanted to go to college I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with daddy On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married I wanted to have a kid I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live But mummy I must go now The time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date I love you mummy I always have I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you" In memory of the Columbian students that were lost Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on Maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Now you have two choices 1) repost and show you care 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart (Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care They hurt her About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concret at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell...they believed them. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying They hurt her, then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. ... its Very Creepy. The WHOLE story of the Girl who was pushed (Aka) THEY HURT HER( Poor Carmen) Carmen Winstead was a young girl who died when she was pushed down the sewer by five girls she thought were her friends. Carmen was 17 years old when her parents decided to move to Indiana. Her father had lost his job and the only way he could find new employment was by moving to a new state. The relocation caused a lot of problems for Carmen. She had to leave her friends behind and attend a whole new school in Indiana. Carmen had a hard time making friends when she changed schools. It was the middle of the school year and most of the students had no interest in befriending the new girl. Initially, she spent many days alone, walking from class to class without speaking to anyone, but she eventually started hanging around with a group of five other girls. Carmen thought these girls were her friends, but it wasn’t long before she discovered that they had been talking about her behind her back and spreading vile rumors. When she confronted them, the girls turned on her and began bullying her every day, making her life a misery. They started out calling her names, but then the bullying got much worse. One day, she left her school books in the classroom at break time. When she returned, she found someone had taken a sharpie and written dirty words all over her books. Another day, she opened her bag and discovered someone had poured yoghurt all over the insides. Sometimes, she would come to school and find her locker had been vandalized. The final straw came when she put on her coat at recess and found that someone had stuffed dog poop in her pockets. There and then, Carmen decided that she couldn’t take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening. Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life. After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poor girl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole. They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!" All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom. The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates. The five girls lied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong. Dead Wrong. Months later, Carmen’s classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn’t there would be horrible consequences. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure. A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loud noise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains. Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off. They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whether it’s from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off. So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart. Her name was Auroura She was only five This is what happened When she was alive Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "Please God, why is My life always sinking? " Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high And the poor child was beaten As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless piece of s!" The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house Then quickly barged in Everything quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the little girl Lying dead on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms (add this to your profile if your against child abuse) I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to flamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it. xXx This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded SARCASM AND OTHER STUFF... 1. Children's Aspirin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (so we have children's aspirin...that children can't get to) 2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts (But peanuts aren't actually nuts...) 3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (Dang. I've become addicted to sleep-hair-curling. This will never work!) 4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire (And here I thought it was ice. Face-palm!) 5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (You mean we can't chew through all that frozen goodness?) 6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Does this mean people can use it to protect themselves from hurricanes?) 7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Uhhh...I kinda thought frisbees were all one piece...Do they come with batteries now or something?) 8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (So now sticking them in kids' stomachs when they don't behave is out of the question. That's not abusive or dangerous, now is it?) 9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (So there's going to be a trial during that person's funeral. Sounds like fun!) 10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (You mean it's not a substitute for whipped cream? NO WAY!) 11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (As opposed to non-regular soap?) 12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness (So that's why we take them! I thought they were a replacement for coffee) 13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (You mean puzzles don't come all put together in one box?) 14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use (Uhhh...I don't think I even want to know) This is funny but also true on BOTH sides... A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one. The women won (although in Spanish, it technically is La Computadora) 97 of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3 who would sit there eating pop corn screaming "DO A FLIP!" then copy and paste this If you talk to yourself or fictional characters copy/paste this into your profile If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! Post this on your profile if you've ever laughed at something completely random that happened like a week ago. Post this on your profile is you have ever been in a serious conversation and shouted "SHINY!", randomly. If you have ever run into a door or a tree, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you haven't died yet copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever laughed at something that really wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile. If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a bookworm and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever ran into a glass door because you thought it was open, copy and paste this to your profile If you still need the alphabet to remember the letter's order, copy this to yout profile If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile "impossible is a word only found in the dictionary of fools" If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile. Being weird is like being normal, only better. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line SHUT UP VOICES. Or i'll poke you with a Q-Tip again If you are as Wicked as Elphaba, copy and paste this in your profile. If you consider yourself a total Wicked Fan, copy this into your profile. If you're Defying Gravity, and no one can bring you down, copy this into your profile. If you are so obsessed with Wicked that you randomly start quoting it, copy this into your profile! The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. PJO FAns Must have this on their profile! NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG! PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile. 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. Run through the isles shouting; "ITS GONNA BLOW! EVERYBODY GET OUT" 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream: 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose YOU!" Repost this if you laughed, or if you plan on doing any of those things!!! 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. THINGS TO DO AT A MOVIE THEATER true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap the person telling you this. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!" A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another Guy fat, No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly, No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won't 96% of girls would cry if they saw Justin Bieber about to jump from a very high plane 20,000 feet in the air with no parachute. If you're in the 4% that would bring a cooler of food and drinks and a lawnchair and watch then copy and paste this in your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Mrs. Radcliffe-Efron, XBeautifulbabe405X Hollywood x Blondie, stessa, xXxChocolateHeartxXx, 1PhEeLyGuRl, heavennoseven, Not Afraid To Dream, artsoccer 95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber went missing: Paste this on your profile if you are one of 5% who would smile and poke your new prisoner with a stick 1. Amber 2. Willow 3. Nina 4. Mr. Sweet 5. Rufus 6. Uncle Ed 7. Sara 8. Patricia 9. Alfie 10. Mrs. Andrews 11. Mr. Winkler 12. Victor 1: Have you ever read a one/three story? (Amber/Nina) Yes 2: Is number three hot? How hot? (Nina) Yes, 8 3: What would happen if nine got six pregnant? (Alfie/Uncle Ed) Is that possible? 4: Have you ever read a three/five/nine story? (Nina/Rufus/Alfie) No 5: What would happen if twelve died in a hole? (Victor) I might cry, but no one else would 6: Do you recall reading a story about eight? (Patricia) Many 7: Do you think it would work out if two and eleven were dating? (Willow/Mr. Sweet) Nope 8: What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve sex? (Sara/Willow/Victor) She would be very confused 9: Make up a summary for a three/ten fic. (Nina/Mrs. Andrews) I can't I really can't 10: Five/nine or five/ten? (Rufus/Alfie or Rufus/Mrs. Andrews) Rufus/Mrs. Andrews 11: Would two and six make a good couple? (Willow/Uncle Ed) Aside from the fact that would make Uncle Ed a pervert, yes 12: Is there anything as one/eight fluff? (Amber/Patricia) Yes, I once read a story about that. 13: Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic. (Sara/Victor) I missed you 14: What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? (Mrs. Andrews) How the hell should I know? 15: If you wrote a one/six/twelve, what would the warning be? (Amber/Uncle Ed/Victor) Warning may bore you to death on account of a long talk about ancient Egypt, but then again we do have Amber, so... 16: What would be a good pick-up line for ten to use on two? (Mrs. Andrews/Willow) Brain Fart "Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. And if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you." 65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then copy and paste this to your profile. If you repost this within the next 5 min. Teacher: You're late. Student: What do you mean? Teacher: You missed a whole period!!! Student: ... Are you telling me I'm PREGNANT? When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason! Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door. PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch. Hi. If you are still reading this. Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs. Someday, my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Copy this on your profile! You know you're a House of Anubis fan when... (Italicize the ones that you do): You can't hear the term "party animal" without thinking of Alfie. You can't listen to your history teacher talk about Lewis and Clark without giggling. You can't think about prom without thinking about Fabian and Nina. Whenever someone says you're insane, you say, "Very observant." (or something along those lines :)) You want to go to a British boarding school just to see if some weird mystery starts unfolding. You will ace anything you have to learn about Egyptian mythology. You know your numerology number and have compared it to your favorite character's multiple times. You compare yourself to Nina and try to figure out who the Fabian, Amber, Patricia, Alfie, Jerome, Mick, and Mara are in your life. You think of Mick whenever anyone mentions a scholarship. You think of Fabian when you think about astronomy. You know what song Fabian and Nina danced to and are plotting to get your high school to play it at your prom. You are constantly trying to figure out how to get deadly bugs into an hour glass to threaten your enemies with. You have looked up what a degenerative condition is and you now feel very sorry for Mr. Winkler. You have had at least one dream where you were Nina and your boyfriend was Fabian. You Might Be An Author If... (Bold yes, un-bolded NO) 1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written. 2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names. 3. You often imagine your books becoming movies. 4. Spell check is your best friend. 5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background (sometimes). 6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favorite characters. 7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene. 8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing (often). 9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym. 10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long. 11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence. 12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written. 13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better. 14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself. 15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time. 16. If your not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly. 17. You talk to yourself... constantly. 18. You forget what day it is when you're writing. 19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away. 20. You hate using words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc. 21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end. 22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it. 23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas. 24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending. 25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story. 26. You are in love with the Thesaurus. 27. You dream about your stories. 28. You dream of new stories. 29. You often revisit some of your old stories. 30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing. If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'? I like rumors. I learn things about myself that I never knew! Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button, you will be disconnected. WHEN THE VERY FIRST MAN DISCOVERED THAT COWS HAVE MILK... WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS DOING?? Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong -All sane people who worked here quit ø„"ºø„„øº" „øº" EVER WONDER ... Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (Actually, it's because they just refuse to eat it) Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Fanfiction Rules: While I may end up breaking these myself at times, I try to stick to these as much as possible. You're welcome to borrow them yourself (in fact, I encourage you to). 1) Do not make canon characters act completely out-of-character. The only reason you should do that is if you handle it carefully, it is short term, and you have a very good explanation as to why. Nothing throws a person for a loop like their favorite character acting weird all of a sudden. This also means that you shouldn't treat your least favorite character like they're an idiot just because you hate them. Try to be fair to all the members of the canon, not just those you like. In fact, take it as a challenge to write them well, despite your personal feelings. 2) "There," "their," and "they're" are different words with different meanings. The same goes for "it's" and "its." Learn them and know which one is which. It makes a world of difference in your writing if you use the correct word. 3) Reread and double-check your work. Spell-check is not fool-proof. Sometimes just going over something will help you spot dumb mistakes. I end up writing out on paper my story first, then type it. That takes care a lot of mistakes, just copying it to the computer. Then, I reread it a little later to spot the rest. Find your own system, but you need to reread your work! 4) One word, people: grammar. Do not fear it; love it. Nothing can scare off a reader like horrid grammar in a story. And if they do stick around, chances are they can only barely understand what they're reading. 5) All pairings are fair game, if it makes sense. If there is no hint at a character having feelings towards another, good or bad, why act like its been there all along? Those new feelings can develop, but don't create them all at once. It's not nice to break up an established couple just to stick the hero with your original character either. And not every boy and girl (or boy and boy, or girl and girl. I'm not against that, if there is a evidence of that in the canon to support that kind of relationship. Please don't do that just because you can) has to be a couple. Friendships can be just as important and difficult to craft, but worth the effort in the long run. 6) "Ain't" is not a word. The only reason I will allow it in a story is in dialog. People can say it in conversation, but other than that... NO! 7) Be descriptive in your work. Don't just say "It was a black cat," say "The feline rubbed his midnight fur against her leg, blinking his amber eyes with pleasure." Much more fun to read. 8)There are hundreds of ways to say "said" (yelled, cried, whispered, begged, questioned, wondered, remarked, called, announced, gasped, laughed, smirked, growled, groaned, screamed, smiled, joked, hissed, explained, described, muttered, grinned, wept, panted, sighed, asked, coughed, snarled, shrieked, snapped, chuckled, choked, shouted, giggled, moaned, whined, complained, whimpered, breathed, mumbled, assured, purred, informed, babbled, yelped, lied, suggested, complimented, blabbed, snickered, commented, replied, grumbled, summarized, declared, etc). Use them. They're more descriptive of the tone, volume, style, and emotions of the speaker and really take a good story to a great story. 9)Don't be afraid to try new story ideas. Just think them out first. How many times do you find a fanfiction that is incomplete because a writer doesn't know where to go from there? It helps to have a rough plan for the story of how to get from point A to B. It prevents you from writing yourself into a corner. You can always change it as you go, but it will give you some structure to work with. 10)Original characters are fine to add to a story, just beware of the curse of Mary Sue. Make them believable. This means faults, imperfections, a back story (not a overly sappy one with either too much perfection or too much angst! That's not a back story; that's a soap opera), and real personality. Don't just photocopy yourself in so you can date your favorite character, either. Create an original character, meaning not existing elsewhere (including the real world). In all likelihood, not every canon character will like the same person equally. Some may hate them (shocking, right?) and they could be very well justified in their hate. Some personalities just clash. (This does not mean that your least favorite character must be mean to your original character so you can show the world why you hate that character. Try to be better than that.) The more realistic you can make them, the better. If possible, create an individual that could easily have existed since the beginning, even if they didn't deal with the canon characters directly, and seems to belong in that universe. When nothing goes right... go left. Kids Are Quick TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Repost this if you laughed... Or plan to do any of these I hear voices and they don’t like you.” “I know life is unfair, but could it at least be unfair in my favor?!” There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't! There are 2 kinds of people: those who can extrapolate information from incomplete data. I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, HAVE ME WAIT! If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth ?? My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. "I told my psychologist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." OK, so what's the speed of dark? I'm not insensitive, I just don't care Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long The world is cruel... get used to it! Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal. Would you like a cookie? So would I. Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To 'At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came Things To Ponder: Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station.. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? What disease did cured ham have? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise? Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”? How can something be both “new” and “improved”? Why do we shut up, but quiet down? How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place? For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values or morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm a BRUNETTE, so I MUST be smart I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (well I did in highschool) I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. (does not caring about fashion count for this?) I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be doing them all. (well not a bunch, but some) I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (I'm a girl) I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. (What's a straight edge?) I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I have a PLATYPUS controlling me, he's UNDERNEATH the table I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm into the BEACH, so I MUST be a stupid surfer. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual. (does cross dressing even apply to girls?) I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm into CLOTHES and SHOES, so I MUST be a rich girl. I CRY easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. (does having ADHD count?) I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.(total repeat...) I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blonde blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian I'm NOT a CHRISTAIN so I MUST be converted. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I CURSE a lot, so I MUST be a rebel. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd. I've been HURT before so I MUST be a crazy freak who won't talk to any men I'm from CALIFORNIA so I MUST shoot whipped-cream out of my boobs I'm DIFFERENT so I MUST be an outcast loser I have ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS so I MUST hurt everyone that bugs me. I'm into my APPEARANCE, so I MUST be an extremely girly-girl I'm FRIENDS WITH LESBIANS, so I MUST be a lesbian too. I like to TEXT instead of TALK on the phone, so I MUST have no social life. I'm a New Zealander, so I MUST love sheep. Loser x] You don't have very many friends. ] Often times, teachers forget your name. ] You were always picked last for kickball. ] You don't like to talk a lot. x] You tend to avoid mass social activities ] You don't participate in any extracurricular activities. ] All you wish for is to move away or get a fresh start. ] Your friends have blown you off before. x] You sit alone in most of your classes. ] You have a feeling that once you leave high school or college, nobody is going to remember you. x] You hold interest in activities that other people find strange. ] People don't find you friendly. x] You hold extreme hate towards another high school stereotype. x] You eat alone at lunch. Total= 6 Prep ] You pop the collar ] You won't go near the Goths ] You own at least one thing from a designer store. ] You are very clean cut. ] You are squeamish. ] People have called you preppy before. ] You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume ] You have a lot of money. ] You know who LC is. ] You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach. ] One favorite store is either Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters. ] You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic. ] You carry a purse wherever you go. ] You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready. ] You do not leave the house without make up. ] You feel really girly when you gush over male actors. Total = 0 Band Geek [x] You have played an instrument before. [x] You still play an instrument. [x] You are/were in regular Band. [x] You are/were in Jazz Band. [ ] You are/were in Marching Band. [ ] Most of your friends are in band. [ ] The band room/band hall is your second home. [ ] You enjoy listening to classical music on occasion. [ ] You aspire to be a Drum Major. [ ] You've made out with somebody on a band bus or at a band competition. [ ] You have trouble getting your non-band friends to go near the band room. [ ] Band is your favorite class. [ ] You have been to band camp. [ ] You walk in step with all your friends. [ ] You talk about band constantly. [ ] You know that American Pie has got it all wrong. [x] You hate rap music. [ ] Marching Season is your favorite time of year. [ ] When you go to football games, you don't really pay attention to the game itself. [ ] Your favorite jokes are band jokes. [x] You know it's not about the bloods and the crips: it's the brass and the woodwinds. Total = 6 Thespian [x] You have seen a school play. [x] You have seen a Broadway musical. [x] You like to act. [x] You have participated in a school play. [x] You have participated in a play outside of school. [ ] You have gone to the Thespian Conference [ ] You get pissed off when people make that thespian, did you say lesbian joke? [ ] You have done tech. [ ] You know that you cannot touch anybody else's props. [ ] You have played in the pit orchestra for a musical. [ ] You have been to a cast party. [ ] You are in a thespian troupe. [ ] You often sing show tunes at the top of your lungs. [ ] You know who Idina Menzel and Johnathan Larson are. [ ] At one point in your life, you were obsessed (with what?) [ ] You do not have a personal bubble. [ ] You actually understand Shakespeare. [ ] You know how to put on stage make up. [ ] You have been a lead. [ ] You met a lot of your better friends through theatre. Total = 5 Overachiever [ ] You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities. [ ] You have a part-time job. [x] You have straight A's. [x] You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes. [ ] You do not procrastinate. [ ] You have scored a 5 on an AP test. [ ] You do not have very much down time. [ ] You are very organized. [ ] You always have a thousand things going on at once. [ ] You are in a relationship. (what does that have to do with anything?) [ ] You aspire to get into an Ivy League School. [ ] In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions. [ ] You are/were on Student Council. [ ] You are/were the class president. [ ] You are/were a class officer. [ ] You are/were the Salutatorian for your class. [ ] You are/were the Valedictorian for your class. [x] People have told you that you didn't have a life. [ ] You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma. [ ] You cry hysterically when you get anything lower than an A on anything. Total = 3 Goth [ ] Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things. [ ] When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic. [ ] You think tattoos are hot. [ ] You think odd piercings are hot. [x] You don't get along with your parents. [x] You have/want to dyed/dye your hair an exotic color [ ] You've styled your hair in liberty spikes. [x] Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life and death. [ ] You like to write dark poetry. [ ] You are into/interested in S&M. (WHAT?) [x] You have a pair of oversized black pants. [ ] At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends. (WTF) [ ] You listen to grunge. [ ] You have a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps. [ ] You smoke cigarettes. [ ] You will only date other Goths. [x] You don't really care what people think about you. [x] Overly happy people scare you. [ ] You like black makeup & nail polish best. Total = 6 Nerd [x] You actually study for tests and quizzes. (damn you college for making this a necessity) [x] You have straight A's. [ ] You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex. (Dang my age) [x] You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo. [ ] You over-analyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore. (Some times) [x] Your mom buys your clothes for you. [x] You actually answer the questions in class. [ ] You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience. [ ] You miss school during the summer. (TOO MANY IDOTS!!!) [x] You wear your pants at your waist. [x] You prefer sweatpants to jeans. [ ] You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it. [ ] You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed. [ ] You've noticed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey. (...? Wait what where...) [ ] People always cheat off you during tests. [ ] Your parents pack your lunch for you every day. [x] You wear/should be wearing glasses. Total = 8 Garage Band Junkie [ ] You play the guitar. (want to..) [ ] You have been in a garage band before. [ ] You're still in a garage band. [ ] You think your band is going to make it big someday. [ ] You play shows almost weekly. [ ] You play the drum set. [ ] You sing vocals for a band. [ ] You write your own lyrics. [ ] You spend hundreds on amps and microphones. [ ] Your band has a myspace page. [ ] You have been in multiple garage bands. [ ] You have changed the name of your band at least twice. [ ] You have participated in a battle of the bands [ ] Your band has been signed. [ ] You have taken guitar classes at school. [ ] You have played at the same venue multiple times. [ ] You would rather make it big than have to go to college. [x] You have musical talent. [ ] You have groupies. [ ] You've made t-shirts and other apparel for your band. Total = 1 Emo [ ] You often have trouble convincing people that you aren't emo. [ ] You comb your hair over one of your eyes. [ ] You flip your hair often. [ ] You have dark-rimmed glasses. [ ] You have hurt your self on purpose. [ ] If you're a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight. [x] You don't really smile too often. [ ] You blog often. [ ] You never smile in pictures. [ ] You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate. [ ] You're too much of a * to be a goth. [ ] You own a lot of band t-shirts. [ ] You go to a lot of shows. [ ] You only go for emo/scene boys and girls. [ ] It doesn't take very much to make you cry. [ ] You have played all the Emo Games (...????) [ ] You have worn black eyeliner before. [ ] You own a bandana in which you wear in your hair. 9only when I dress up as a pirate) [x] You have dark hair. (how does having naturally dark brown hair make me an Emo?) [ ] You love the emo song. (...? I have so many question marks on this survey...) [ ] You say stuff like "I feel like my hearts being ripped out" and all that. Total = 2 Skatepunk [x] You own a skateboard. (Never used) [ ] You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school. [ ] You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding. [ ] You know that World Industries and Element aren't just clothing lines. [ ] You have vandalized public property. [ ] You have TPed/egged somebody's house before. [ ] You have been yelled at for littering. [ ] You have gotten in trouble with the cops. [ ] You listen to punk rock. [ ] Chicks on skateboards are hot. [ ] You stick it to the man [ ] You own skater shoes. [ ] You watch MTV2, not MTV. [ ] You enjoy crude humor. [ ] Screw school, lets do crazy stuff. [ ] You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk. [ ] You pretty much live at the skate park. [x] Hygene does not concern you. [ ] Skater boys are attractive. Total = 2 Metalhead [ ] Most people are scared of your music [ ] A lot of the bands you like have violent names/titles/lyrics [ ] You hate emo kids [ ] You have gotten kicked out of a public place multiple times before [ ] Slipknot isn't really metal [x] You appreciate really good guitarists of any genre [x] You hate pop and rap. [ ] You spend all your money on music-related stuff [ ] Scene kids are fun to laugh at. [ ] You will become friends with anyone if they like the same bands [x] You curse a lot. [ ] You can name at least five sub genres of metal [ ] You wore black converses before they became emo [ ] At least one of your favorite bands thinks they're vikings [x] You also like classic rock, such as led zeppelin and pink floyd. (pretty much the only rock I like) [ ] You have yelled at someone for their taste in music. Total = 4 If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile. If you run upstairs to your room right after school to get on your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you randomly start talking/singing/dancing, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that the leprechaun should give the kids the Lucky Charms, paste this into you're profile. If you think the kids should give the Rabbit some Trix, paste this into you're profile. If you think the wolf should get some of the Cookie Crisp from the kids eventually, paste this into your profile! ／l、 ﾟ､ ｡ ７ l、 ヽ じしf,)ノ Yaaaay kitty! This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination! ( o.o ) Did you know? Before you go to sleep at night there is 1 person from the opposite rainbow, thinking of you, they want to kiss you, they want to be with you, they're always thinking about you before they go to sleep at night and they are longing to be with you. This is all true not fake. If you repost this on your page within 5 mins, that person who is longing to approach you will approach you in a month and ask you out or grab you and kiss you but if you break this chain no one will like you or ask you out for 45 years. Use your initials or the first 3 letters of your name and make a sentence Put your sentence in the My Sentence part and put this on your profile when you have done a=I bit b=I slapped c=I sneezed on d=I deleted e=I vandalized Disney studios with f=I farted on g=I told h=I poked my eye with i=I burped on j=I rebelled against k=I whispered 'You're hot!" to l=I regretted m=I screamed at n=I beat up o=I sang with p=I kicked q=I laughed at r=I ate s=I accidentally peed on t=I shot an ANGRY look at u=I made v=I ran into w=I told Chuck Norris to shut up with x=I saw y=I kissed z=I hate Next Letter: a=the Jonas Brothers b=my mom c=Darth Vader d=that one retarded monkey e=Miley Cyrus f=a platypus g=my foot h=My dad i=my sister j=a limousine k=my pet llama l=my special banana m=an ugly dodobird n=Britney Spears o=my computer p=an FBI agent q=my finger r=the MOON! s=a rubber band t=my friends cell phone u=the President v=SANTA CLAUS! w=a hobo x=the easter bunny y=some kid named bob z=Paris Hilton Next Letter: a=because if I didn't Dizoro's retarded dodos would bite me... b=because The voices told me to c=because I'm confused and emotionally scarred. d=because my dog is my leader and commanded me to. e=because i got a maramail from the grim reaper! f=because I have serious issues g=because a rabid monkey came into my room and if I didnt do that he'd bite me. h=because Dora the explorer brainwashed me i=because i was abducted by aliens j=because im secretly a cyborg k=because im just a random creeper. l=because my friend dared me to. m=because im *Crazy* n=because i like it better that way o=because i had no choice p=because i felt like it q=because im hopeless r=because big birds a LIAR! s=because... because... heck i dont know! t=because the ghosts of KFC chickens told me to u=because my favourite pepsi can collection exploded : ' ( v=because the world hates me w=because i desperately need help. desperately. x=because im clueless y=because i completely dispise you. z=BECAUSE I WANTED TO OKAY??? My Sentence :I ate Miley Cyrus because I have serious issues My Sentence 2:I ate the Jonas Brothers because I'm confused and emotionally scarred. Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers 1.”Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, 2.”The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?” 3.”Were you present when your picture was taken?” 4.”Were you alone or by yourself?” 5.”Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the 6.”Did he kill you?” 7.”How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?” 8.”You were there until the time you left, is that true?” 9.”How many times have you committed suicide?” 10. Q: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?” 11. Q: “She had three children, right?” 12. Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?” 13. Q: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?” 14. Q: “How was your first marriage terminated?” 15. Q: “Can you describe the individual?” 16. Q: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a 17. Q: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead 18. Q: “All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did 19. Q: “Do you recall the time that you examined the body?” 20. Q: “You were not shot in the fracas?” 21. Q: “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?” 22. Q: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you Take time and read each sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is weirdo cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of ever line. January I killed February I smelled 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3. If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. If you just tried to lick your elbow because of the phrase above, copy and paste this onto you profile page It's pretty sad when you think about it. That's why I don't. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - I'll get back to you... Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? I'm on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of something called "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. You can't spell awesome without ME! You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Recent studies show that 92% of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8% that hasn't, put this in your profile I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it. If people think you are mentally insane...copy & paste this onto your profile. if they are right... copy & paste this into your profile. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. If you are a SUPER MEGA #1 Fabina fan, copy and paste this to your profile. If you screamed, squealed, and jumped up and down when Fabian and Nina kissed in the Season Finale, copy and paste this to your profile Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future. The rules only apply if you get caught. I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's. A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side. I used all my sick days so I called in dead. Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Kids are the future. Be afraid, very afraid! I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty! Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible? You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you. So many stupid people, so little duct tape. I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly? I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you. I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us? "Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives. Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... A SHIN IS A DEVICE FOR FINDING FURNITURE IN THE DARK!!! I ran with scissors, and lived! Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE! The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false. Oink. I'm a cow. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? I trip UP the stairs. OMG. THE RAIN'S WET! I have superpowers, I just don't wanna show you. OOPS. Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? Get over it. Best friends means killing each other for a bag of chips, and at the end not saying sorry, but instead saying "Haha, too bad, loser". OH YEAH? Your face. I'm a dinosaur. Rawr! Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? Why is Sophie short for Sofia despite being longer? Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which is kinda the same thing. I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. Your boy side: X You love hoodies. X Shopping is torture. Total: 14 Your girl side: X You wear lip gloss/Chap stick. X You wear eyeliner. X You smile a lot more than you should. Total: 2 I'm a girl, according to my Doctor, hmmmmmm If You Live In America, you post this Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever) 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have calls waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. 7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (why?! will it eat me?!). On a bag of Fritos! On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swanson frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: On Nytol Sleep Aid: On most brands of Christmas lights: On a Japanese food processor: On Sunsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a child's superman costume: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a children's fold-away stroller: On artificial bacon: On Dum-Dum Lolipop On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: On a coffee cup: On cheap Peanut Butter: On a Korean kitchen knife: Growing up your bestfriend becomes your worst enemy. Lollipops turn into cigarettes. Home work goes into the the trash. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes Vodka. Remember when high meant swinging on a playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? Your worst enimies wer your siblings. Race issues were only about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. The only drug you knew was cough medicine. the only things that hurt were skinned knees and goodbyes were only meant untill tomorrow? ... and to think we all couldnt wait to grow up. Copy this to your Profile if you sometimes wish you could go back to a time when things were simpler. QUOTES!!! "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, I'm possible." -Audry Hempburn "I have ADHD attention deff... ...OMA A WAFFLE!!!!" -me (I really do have ADHD and, I'M PROUD!!!!) *If you recognize this then you have been on the Nick House of Anubis FanFic boards* "So Fabian goes to deal with a body snatching she demon, and we have to deal with Rufus. I still think we picked the short straw." -Alfie Lewis "WHY CAN'T THE CACTUS SING?" -Amber Millington "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butterfly" -proverb (I have no idea who proverb is lol) "I think we all learned a valuable lesson here, but since we all know what it is why bother restating it?" -Phineas Flynn "If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill "If you can't reason with insanity, then I must be unreasonable!!$!#!!@!!*!!!&!!!!%!!)!!(!!!" -me If you have read this all of the way down, you went far farther then I could have :) | |||||||
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