Business First

UPDATE 2020: I have become what I feared most. I don't really write anymore. Maybe one day I will get back into it, but I have no plans at this current time. If you like my stories and really want to see a particular one continued, leave a review or PM me. I do still check my emails.

Here are the 11 stories for which I already have at least one chapter posted:

Utonium the Victim: Just another Powerpuff Girls fanfic in which Professor Utonium gets horribly beat up and is rescued by a mysterious stranger who nurses him back to health. I haven't decided if there will be romance or not - I guess it just depends on what I feel like when I get to that point where the Professor discovers who is actually treating his wounds.

Discord's Daddy Debacle: This one is likely to be very short - maybe 2-4 chapters. I just wanted to write a fanfic in which Carl the Llama (from "Llamas with Hats" by FilmCow) comes to wreak havoc on Equestria. Also, Fluttercord is my OTP, and I would be remiss if I didn't include them.

To Hell and Back: I had an inspiration and wrote this. I want to continue it. I'm not one-hundred percent sure what I'm going to do with it, just that I want to write it. Do not fear - this is the way I usually do things. It works 50% of the time. :P

Your Cruise Ship Plays Card Games In Hell: I have already figured out how the card games will progress and who will beat whom. I'm trudging along through this, but bear with me: I'm slow.

Shattered Island: I don't know why I posted this. I wasn't hardly ready to. I don't even know if I'm going to continue it. I think I bit off more than I can chew with this unfamiliar genre.

Total Drama Apocalypse: So this seems like fun. I'm working on the fourth chapter, got it half finished, but I'm still molding the dough of the story. This will take a while to finish. UPDATE 4/19/15: After reevaluation, this story needs a lot of work before I can upload a new chapter. Indefinite Hiatus.

The Pros of Cons: I made a vow, and I will finish this. It more than likely will take me another 5-10 years.

My Soul To Reap: I know where I want this to go. Likewise with The Pros of Cons, I tinker with this story occasionally, but I am not putting in an effort to finish it at present.

A Foreign Body: Okay, this freak is the demon-spawn of my obsession with the infamous Harry Potter fanfic "My Immortal". I wasn't going to post it yet, so it's not anywhere near complete, and it won't be for a long time. But some friends of mine have been asking about it, so I thought this was the best way to share it with them. I'm working on the third chapter, but I won't post the second chapter until I have the next one complete (I'm trying something new here). It's my first mpreg, and it's a straight-up parody. What I'm planning is to make as many male characters as possible pregnant, so that'll be fun. And Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven (Tara) Way may feature heavily in this, so be warned: you will want to tear your hair out at her awesome stupidity.

Obsessive Misbehavior: I don't know how, but at some point this sequel to my first full-length fanfic got deleted from my account. I reposted it, but I'm not planning on updating any time soon. I will probably eventually post more, but it will be a looooong time before it is finished.

As for the unposted ones:

For My Little Pony: Ever since I got into MLP, I have been absolutely enamoured with the Fluttershy/Discord pairing. I have a couple of ideas floating around that I may someday put to paper, but I will not post or promise them at this time. Because I have become prone to slacking off, I cannot allow another fanbase to be angry at me, so I will keep them to myself until a more appropriate time.

For The Lion King: I want to fully finish and then post a story I have been working on for ages. It is a Scar- and Sarabi-centric fanfic. I think it will be good when it is finished. I hope I can share it soon.

For Harry Potter: The sequel to Excessive Misbehavior is still ongoing, even if it is not a priority. I put too much time and love into it to not at least share it. The same goes for the spin-off sequel, the sequel to Taming Insanity.

For Total Drama: For a class assignment, I wrote the pilot episode of a new season called "Total Drama War of the Roses" which is a dating show competition with 11 couples from seasons 1-4. Some of them are canon, some headcanon, and some just crack. I don't know when I'll post it as I've only written the spec script for the pilot, so it may be a long while. But I do want to write it, and I think it will be fun.

For Yu-Gi-Oh!: At some point, I might decide to finally start posting that Tea Bachelorette fanfic I've been promising for a full decade.

I'm on deviantART: http:///

Favorite: My baby.

Second Favorite: My husband.

Fandoms I Love By Category for Reasons

Favorite Video Games:

Fallout 4

Skyrim

Mass Effect 1-3 (I haven't played enough of Andromeda to know yet)

The Sims 2 and 4

Red Dead Redemption 2

Favorite Disney Movies:

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Treasure Planet

Wreck-It Ralph

Hercules

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Mulan

The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride

Lilo and Stitch (movies and series)

Favorite Miyazaki Films:

Howl's Moving Castle

Favorite Dreamworks Movies:

Megamind

Favorite non-animated non-superhero TV shows of All Time:

Police Squad!

iZombie (seriously wonderful all the way through)

Wynona Earp

30 Rock

The Amanda Show

Gotham

Community

Monk

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (my personal favorite of the franchise)

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Stargate SG1

Psych

Favorite Animated TV shows of All Time:

Total Drama series

Miraculous Tales of Ladybug y Cat Noir

Futurama

Young Justice

X-Men: Evolution

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Codename: Kids Next Door

The Adventures of Jackie Chan

Teen Titans (not GO!, but that one is okay too)

Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

Hey Arnold!

The Wild Thornberries

My Life As a Teenage Robot

Favorite Animes:

Yu-Gi-Oh! (the original)

Blue Exorcist

Ouran High School Host Club

Pokemon

One Punch Man

Favorite Books:

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Renegades by Marissa Meyer

Gone series by Michael Grant

Unwind series by Neal Shusterman

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

How Not to Write a Novel (I recommend this book to every writer I meet.)

[dishonorable mention: Twilight Saga by Stephanie Mayer (don’t you dare judge me)]

Favorite Fan-Made Stuff:

"Lullaby for a Princess" - My Little Pony fan song

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Witchcraft

"Snowdrop" and most of the My Little Pony videos that SFS Animation makes

Flufflepuff series by Dan

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series

gAmErPoOp (or however he capitalizes it)

Favorite Brand: Hasbro

Favorite Band: Goo Goo Dolls

Actual Profile Thingy

Hiya! Read all this crazy stuff I wrote cuz I put it here for you to read, not to entertain myself. I hardly ever read it.

I am a Christian.

I am open to conversational PMing.

Cows. Are. Awesome.

If my writing style were a song, it would be called "I Write Death, Not Lemons."

Of all the fandoms in all the land, I only have 5 favorite shippings that I get upset about if they are violated in a story: Oswald Cobblepot x Edward Nygma (Gotham), Rumpelstiltskin X Belle (from OUAT), Fluttershy X Discord (MLP), Marik X Yami Bakura, and Yami Marik X Ryou Bakura. And then Severus Snape with me, but no one writes that, so it's hardly worth mentioning (P.S.: Please don't write a story with this last pairing. I will question your sanity, read it, and then curl up in a ball in my closet and cry for a few days). UPDATE: Haha, very funny, Psycho.

Dang, blood! SlenderMan is hot!

I'm a social reject. I like to be different.

I like to scare little children. They think I'm hilarious. I don't understand children.

I freak people out. It's funny.

I love to write poetry and song lyrics, but even more than that I love to write stories.

My personal philosophy for all major fiction series is that HARRY MUST DIE.

I have 7.5 wives (.5 because one abandoned me and I replaced her; she was Philippine). One is black. One is blasian. Five are white. I am Native American. I am diverse.

I have discovered that I have some sort of bizarre fetish for monsters/freaks of nature. Not in a way where I see any old monster and immediately want to jump his bones; it's more like I wish to reach out and enclose them in my arms, protect them, and then if we fall in love, I'm okay with that. They don't have to physically look like a monster - it doesn't hurt their chances, but it's not limited to that. If they have the mentality or goal of being a "monster", that works for me too. I guess I'm just weird. I don't like normal people, but I have the utmost sympathy and compassion for beasts. I'm not even the type of person who likes to fix things - I'm just weird.

Some kids have asked me if I am a vampire. Those kids don't say anything anymore.

I wouldn't necessarily say that I love anime. I'm quite particular: I only love Yu-Gi-Oh, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, One Punch Man, Ouran High School Host Club, Blue Exorcist, Chobits, Yu Yu Hakusho, and The Devil Is a Part-timer. I also enjoyed B Gata H Kei, but let's not talk about that. And sometimes Pokémon, but that's an entirely different story altogether.

I have had this name since summer of '06. If you see anyone else with this name, teach them a valuable life lesson via suffocation so they know that stealing is wrong.

My husband is the most awesomest husband on the planet. Some day, he will be the most awesomest husband on the moon. And then, the solar system.

Gross, guys; I'm pregnant! The eff do I do with my life now?

Update, guys; now I’ve got a baby. My brain is beyond mush.

If you wonder why I don't seem to be a big reader, you have been deceived by my tastes in fanfiction. You see, I love to read. I read a lot. But I generally do not write fanfiction of my favorite book fandoms because the ones I would write on were done so well, I literally cannot see any way I could improve them. When I finish a book or series, put it down, and say, "Perfect," then you know you are a truly magnificent writer, a cut about them all. I have incredibly high standards, which is why I rarely read or write fanfiction on books or book series. I am simply too satisfied with the original to touch it.

There are so many things I could tell you about me. Which is what the bio section is for obviously. One of the things you find out about me as you get to know me is that I have a lot of pet peeves. The list is quite extensive in fact. I've put this here because I doubt very much that anyone will read this far on my profile. I have applied my knowledge of psychology to make sure this long paragraph is off-putting to anyone trying to skim and pick out their favorite things. In fact, by now you're probably ready to read the last couple of sentences and go on to the rest of the profile, or maybe you'll just skip this entirely and go straight to the quotes because they are short and therefore more appealing. More to the point, I am stalling so individuals will decide this is not worth their time and skip it. It seems silly to put this on my profile if I don't want people to read it, I know. But it is something that has given me grief for a long time and I can't stand to keep it in anymore. I dislike very much the substitution of unique words for copy and paste tidbits. You could even say I loathe it to the very core of my being. The first couple of times you read the various lists where the person has emboldened the points that pertain specifically to him/her are somewhat amusing. But by the eighth time you see the same list of characteristics, you start to hate whoever invented and spread the idea of forms. It's insulting to me as a writer that anyone using this site to show off their skills in writing would be so lazy and uninspired as to copy and paste a list of points instead of crafting their own story with them. And by now I've overextended and made this paragraph too long, so some of you may be inclined to read it due to its large state rather than in spite of it. So I've decided to create a new section purely for ranting. I'll go further into detail there.

I don't have children, but if I did they would hate me because I'd name them ridiculous names that amused me at the time. Don't even get me started on Sirius Lee Mann.

I'm actually pregnant right now. This should be fun.

As for how I came to live on Earth, I'll tell you the basics: I originated from a planet far away, of whose name I cannot say. On that planet, I was Supreme of the Flying Monkeys. I ruled over more than half the world. But then something happened that sent me here. Basically I was shunned, banished, and exiled to your Earth, and I cannot go back until my kingdom is re-established. That may take many years. Until then, I am forced to live on this planet as a human. But I shall always be known to my minions as Bob the Flying Monkey, Queen of the Flying Monkeys. Except now that planet has been destroyed, so I'm stuck here. But fear not! I will be overtaking this planet soon enough, and I will be the one true tyrant once more!

I guess that's it. Basically, I'm a weirdo. I'm a weirdo and I'm proud. And, yes, I am crazy and full of crap.

P.S: Don't use spell check on your profile. It will try to correct your grammar when there is nothing wrong with it. Passive voice is unclear my butt.

Sayings and/or quotes that apply to me.

"Strange things are afoot at the circle K." - Ted 'Theodore' Logan

"Half the lies I tell aren't true." - Yogi Berra

"Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." - Unknown

"Bob talks to the road because her car is broken." -Myself

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." - Yogi Berra

"I never said most of the things I said." - Yogi Berra

"I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question." - Yogi Berra

"If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be." - Yogi Berra

"If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer." - Yogi Berra (except the opposite is true for me)

"If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." - Yogi Berra

"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much." - Yogi Berra

"The future ain't what it used to be." - Yogi Berra

"We made too many wrong mistakes." - Yogi Berra

"You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you." - Yogi Berra

Me: "What do you call a ho if she's not getting paid?"
Sister: "A wife."

"Kittens are adorable! Let's go find some!" - Timmy Turner's mom (Clementine)

Romantic Quotes of the Hour

"Sometimes there are no right words. Sometimes there are only actions."
Melvin to Ryou

Hey There, Bakura by Melvin (Yes, I thought it was a beautiful song. No, I'm not full of myself ;)

"If you were my child, I would beat you."
Voldemort to Bobbi

"I wrote you a song, but then I eated it."
If you say this in an extremely adorable, convincingly sad voice, you can get away with whatever you want. Except murder. Disclaimer: don't do illegal jazz.

"..."
Because I like a guy best when he's silent.

Me: "Sex."
BF: "You're good."
Me: "Thanks."
In high school, there was an annoying girl on my bus who was always having boy drama and crap. One morning, she read a text to us to demonstrate that her current "boo-thang" was a sweet-talker. So I made up the quote above to demonstrate how my boyfriend and I always sweet-talk to each other. You shoulda seen the girl-on-the-bus's face when I told her this. Troll.

Airing of the Grievances:

These are a list of some of my pet peeves. Feel free not to read them. I'm a ranter and this section may annoy you. This is why it's at the end of my profile.

Spelling and grammar errors.

If English is not your first language, I can forgive you. If you are dyslexic or only make a couple mistakes per chapter, I can forgive you. Otherwise, you need to fix all of those errors before posting. Even if you have an amazing story, it doesn't make up for poor aesthetics. No one wants to read a story they have to interpret like it's Their Eyes Were Watching God. That's why you never see novels written in that style published anymore. Everyone hates it and it doesn't sell. If for whatever reason you can't fix it yourself, get a Beta Reader to help you.

Grammar nazis.

Because of the complexity of my character, I also hate people who are constantly on you about the way you speak and write. Yes, it is important to have a firm grasp of the language you use to communicate with other intelligent beings, but casual conversation with an equal is not an appropriate situation to point out such flaws to a person. People are not machines and therefore need not speak as such. Also, pointing out a grammar/spelling mistake in a comment is unnecessary and rude; such should be done via PM if it's something that can be easily fixed. A permanent complaint to a temporary issue only makes the former look like a fool.

Flamers.

There is a distinct difference between constructive criticism and blatant douche-baggery. This type of person is not worthy to read your story, and you should never listen to its spews. Unless the piece in question is universally offensive (i.e.: "All Jews should kill themselves.") and is not satire or spoken by a character you already distrust, Flamers' claims are unfounded excrement and should be disposed of as such.

People who only give negative feedback and never positive feedback.

Similar to flamers except they have valid points. It's just rude to highlight only the things done wrong and not the things done right. Especially when the critic only points out errors and gives no suggestions on how to improve.

English.

Because the language is a patchwork quilt made of burlap sacks and bits of loose hair. It's riddled with holes and many of the pieces pucker due to being sewn to other pieces not adjacent. Plus we don't have a gender-neutral third-person singular pronoun. What kind of self-respecting language doesn't have a neutral gender?!

PETA, Humane Society and similar organizations with a hidden agenda.

Due mostly to the Lacey Act. However, these organizations punish the whole for the mistakes of the few. Instead they should be raising standards for pet ownership. That way both the animal and the owner will get the love they need.

Self-appointed Community Judges.

Those who pin an individual's worth on his/her lifestyle choices. These people make a habit of criticizing an entire community (i.e Christians, LGBT, Bronies, etc.) based on the actions of a few members or that group's differences from the judge.

The Nonconformity Push.

Young adults have a fetish for "rebelling from conformity." In reality, they are exchange one group's values for another's. In this day and age, there is no such thing as true nonconformity. If such a thing were achievable, that person would be very lonely indeed.

Conflict and Confrontation.

Because duh.

Being asked questions.

I never know the answer, and I get a lot of crap for it. It makes me angry that people expect so much of me when they know I don't know. But if you don't give them an answer they're still mad. People suck.

Cliches, lazy writers, and idiots who let them get away with it.

I don't know if it's just me, but it's getting to where I can't watch anything without being able to predict the "big twist" a good 30 minutes before it takes place. I shouldn't be able to do that, it being a twist and all. This is the least of the offenders, however, because what truly makes me angry is how Hollywood thinks they can recycle the same cookie-cutter plot with the same 2-D characters having the same shrill-voiced fights and the same uncalled for sex. Stop. Just stop. Write something good. Stop thinking that all women conform to a stereotype. Stop thinking a love story can't be good without sex. Just stop. You're wrong and I'm sick of it.

Interruption.

You talk all the time. Let me talk. It's my turn, I've been polite, I've been waiting for it, and I let you talk. Shush. You can respond when I'm done.

Obliviousness pertaining to social etiquette.

Some people need to know why a person is upset, even when it is clear she/he does not want to talk about it. It's one thing when it's just the two of you. Then the burden of comfort falls on you. But if the person leaves the room and either 1) does not come back in, meaning you followed her/him in order to confront her/him, or 2) comes back clearly upset but does not broach the subject her/himself, you wait for her/him to talk. At the most, you can say, "I'm here if you need to talk." Then shut up. She/he will let you know at the right time. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT CONFRONT AN UPSET PERSON IN PUBLIC, ESPECIALLY IF S/HE IS TRYING TO HIDE IT. And never ask "What's wrong?" out of the blue if you are not alone together.

Liars.

Self explanatory. Also, don't say I did something that I did not do unless it is clearly a joke and I'm in a good mood. Elsewise, you gettin' cut.

The Drug/Pleasure Culture.

Child, there is more to life than just another temporary high to satisfy you. Maturity means being able to accept delayed gratification. You are not mature just because you have a car, a boyfriend, and a job. Gandhi had none of these.

My lack of oral communication skills.

It's sad that I can compose such beautiful works that I bring even the least sensitive to tears (I write more than fanfiction, you know), but as soon as I have to speak to someone, I'm suddenly missing half of my brain and 90% of its vocabulary.

The loud and uneducated.

People who use social media and the like to spew their "enlightened" opinions when they have done no research into the matter other than browsing Reddit and Googling some stuff on Wikipedia. Get a university degree before you try to correct others in their "misguidings."

Sex (as it pertains to pop culture).

Everything is about sex now. I hate that. Can't we produce quality art without throwing some greased up semi-star butt into the spotlight?

Inefficiency. Time. The System and how it has effectively screwed itself over.

Face the facts. There is no such thing as a perfect society, a perfect government system. And even if there was, no first-world country would be able to adopt it because of how much an entire system reboot would cost.

Entitled brats.

Do your chores. Your parents owe you nothing. If anything, you owe them. And if they are truly abusive, call Social Services, CPS or DHS. They'll pick you up like a good neighbor.

Copy and Paste Profiles.

You are a writer on a writing website. You can craft your own unique words to convey your personality. When I see these on a person's bio, I immediately respect them less. This applies to all of the following regardless of how special you think you are:

1. "I'm a ... so I MUST..."
2. "if you've ever..."
3. some depressing story that belongs on a 1990's chain email with a stipulation of good luck if you pass it along
4. anything similar to #3 that has been widely circulated throughout the site
5. "95% of unsupported stereotypes do this. Suck up and barf these words onto your screen if you're of the 50 billion others in the minority who would feel superior had you any basis for this made up statistic."

Exceptions to the above include anything you honestly made up yourself. Sometimes I can forgive you if the block of this text is short (it spans no more than 6 lines) and is accompanied by more detailed and personal info you wrote yourself.

"Name: Like I'd tell you [or something to that effect]."

For obvious reasons, this is pointless. You're not funny, you're annoying.

Flippant cursing.

I make it a habit to reserve curse words for special occasions. All of my friends and associates know I don't curse. I do this on purpose not because I'm a prude but because when I do curse, it's effective. You are shocked when you hear me curse because I never do it. This way you know I'm angry. Those who constantly curse are not taken seriously when truly angry because they always sound like that.

Poor formatting.

You know who you are.

John

I hate the name john with such a fiery passion that I could actually care less but I refuse to because of how filthy common the unimaginative, monosyllabic label is. It's not even a name. You might as well just leave the spot blank, because no one is going to remember your child as John or Jon or Jan. They're going to forget your child or persecute him. I equate john to public toilets and bidets. Do you know how nasty a public bidet would be? Would you wash your anus in that? I'm institutionalizeable for how much I hate the name john. There are people at my school who spend little time with me that would tell you, if you asked them about me, "Yeah, she's crazy. You should hear her go on about john." I flip my crap over john. It needs to be abolished, exterminated, and in all ways eradicated from the collective brain of society. No child should have to suffer from its blandness or oversaturation again. P.S.: If your name is John, I'm sorry. I don't hate you, I just wish you had a more unique name.

RanDom rAMbLInGS!1!!

PS: Do NOT read this. It is here because I am crazy, not because you should read it.

DO NOT READ.

I told you not to read this. Now it has been erased from your memory.