Name: I've been Simply Hopeless here on Fanfiction.net since August 2003. Devil_N_Blue on since May 2005. Assassin's Kiss on since November 2005. And just recently I combined my last three usernames and became Hopeless_Blue_Kiss here on Archive Of Our Own since July 2013.

Why, my dear readers, would I have four names? Don't know... Okay well when I chose Simply Hopeless I got frustrated because every time I tried to type out a possible username it was taken, so... I felt hopeless, hence Simply Hopeless. I could change it to Assassin's Kiss, but I'm too nostalgic to let go my first fanfic pen name. Devil_N_Blue was chosen because well... I have a dark side and my favorite color ish blue. Plus that was my first ever username when I joined the internet when dial-up was the only internet option. But when someone introduced me to I wanted a killer name and so Assassin's Kiss was born. My latest name, Hopeless_Blue_Kiss was just a combination of my usernames. Muwahahahaha.

Unless you see these usernames on their respective sites using these stories than that person using it is plagiarizing. Please report them in. I will never orphan my stories no matter how long it takes to update. They are mine and they will never be up for adoption.

Age: 30

Sex: Female

Sign: Tauros (short-tempered and and working on it)

Ethnicity:African-American

Location: Wandering with a cult of Hiddlestoners trying to spread the word of the awesomeness that is Tom Hiddleston.

Pet Peeves:

1. People who favorite and alert my stories without reviewing.
2. People who review only to say some variation of 'great' tacked on with 'update soon'. (It sort of makes me want to do the opposite.)
3. People who threaten to hurt/kill me if I don't update. (Yeah, that's going to make me update faster.)
4. People who only review after I threaten to put/or already put a story on hiatus. (Yeah, where the heck were you before!)
5. People who are fake and smiling to my face but are talking about me behind my back. (Haters just gonna be hatin')
6. People who flame a story with comments not even really related to the story, but take off the option to reply back because they are cowardly like that. (Seriously?!)
7. People who abuse and yell at their kids because they had a bad day. (It's called Tae Bo or the gym. Work that shit out without using your kids.)
8. People who treat their mother's like crap. (Honesty unless your mother is cra-cra you don't need to talk bad about her.)
9. People who are hypocrites and etc.

How to write a great Review when you don't know what to say XP :

1. If you think a story is good, what scene do you like specifically in that particular chapter. 'I really liked when _'
2. Maybe tell the author/authoress what you were surprised about or wish to see next. 'I can't believe he/she _' or 'I can't wait to see _'
3. Vary your reviews so it doesn't look like you say the same thing each time because each chapter should and is different so reviews should be too.
4. If you can't think of a scene you specifically like then maybe there is a question you want to ask because maybe someone else might be confused too.
5. Maybe you want to see more of something or hope that something stays the same. 'I really like how _ is _ so please can you keep _ like that if possible.'
6. Try not to threaten the author/authoress.
7. No flames. I burn easily. If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say it at all.
8. You don't have to criticize to give an awesome review. Praise works too.
9. If your author/authoress makes an error point it out so they can make a change but say something positive too so they don't feel bad as well.
10. Please don't say an author/authoress should be happy writing alone. Writing fanfics don't pay any bills so at least let me enjoy the reviews for my labor.
11. If your author or authoress gives you a vote don't devote the whole review to a vote. Vote as well as make a comment on the actual story.
12. If you are disappointed by something than please explain why. Don't just say, 'I hate _ . I wish _ would kill _'. If I don't know what you hate I can't change it.
13. There is no way you can make a satisfying review in five words or less. Ten is barely pushing it and that is if you make those ten words work. Remember your author takes time writing the story so take a little reviewing it.
14. We all know that CAPS is yelling by now. Or we should. So please don't write the whole review in caps... Either it means you are really excited or pissed.
15. Remember don't feel intimidated by writing a review. If you write from your heart I'm sure any author/authoress will feel inspired by it.

More about Me:

If you are interested than I will tell you more about myself. I love reading and I love writing both het and yaoi fanfics. I hate it when I do work and no one recognizes me for it because sweetie I'm a review whore. I love writing angst because it seems like the most complicated plots come from it. Plus I have a bit of a sadistic side. LOL, see my cliffhangers if you're unsure.

Like I said before, I love... love... love to read not just fanfics but real books as well as graphic novels. I've been reading since Reading Rainbow came out on PBS. My imagination should be dried up because of watching so much television and playing video games but it hasn't, fricking awesome.

It was becsause of my love for books I found that I could also write after my high school English teacher complimented me on a description of my journey somewhere. So I'm going to try to write a book some day. But readers will be surprised to know that my first real talent wasn't writing but drawing. I can draw realistic artwork or cartoon but I'm more of a traditional artist (drawing with pencils and charcoals) then the drawing tablet type. Although I have drawn on a drawing tablet and with a mouse.

Okay now lets get down to some of the animes I like... Kuroshitsuji (number one fav) , Code Geass: Lelouch's Rebellion (second fav) , Naruto (Third Fav), Fruits Basket, Loveless, Skip Beat, Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Sailor Moon, Drabon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, Tenchi Muyo, Tenchi Muyo Universe, Rurouni Kenshin, Case Closed, Wolf's Rain, Grivatation, Saiyuki, Fushigi Yugi, Angelic Layer, Steel Angel Kurumi, .//hacksign, Full Metal Alchemist, Full Metal Panic, Gundam Wing, Gundam Seed, Kyo, Kara Maoh, Sukisho, Vampire Knight, etc.

Books are too many to count but here are a few. Harry Potter series, Daughter of the Moon series, Twilight Series, Mercy Thompson Series, Accidental Series, Undead Series, all of Tamora Pierce's works, Tomie dePaola (love his children's illustrations), etc.

Mangas so many again here are a few Kuroshitsuji, Ranma 1/2, Chorbits, Dragon Knights,Fruits Basket, Demon Diaries, XXXHolic, Beauty Pop, Skip Beat, Hana Kimi, Naruto, etc.

I still have my website dedicated to blue. So yeah check out if you will. http:/devil_n_blue/

Also I have a two other websites the first one is my poetry one at http:/hearts_on_ice/and the last one which is a kind of tribute to the minor charachter Yura is at http:/demon_hair/

I have just made a new site and it's a Saiyuki one it's http:/gotothewest/

Attention:

I'm going to start putting up little bulletins here to show any postponed stories or next updates and stuff. A loft of stuff may or may not be on hold. So if you do not want a story of mine to be on hold feel free to email me and tell me which story you will like not to be on hold.

Bulletin:

July 2, 2016: Hi Fanfiction.net, I'm going to be a whole bunch this summer and the rest of the year. If you don't see a story of yours posted by the end of July then I'm sorry, it won't be posted this year. But there will be tons to choose from including a few new so give it a try. I've been working on at least six chapters of each story I'll be posting starting July so if hopefully I'll be able to update every 3 weeks until I run out of chapters/materials. So this is how the Calendar will look:

October 15

November 5

November 26

December 17

January 7 & January 28

February 18

March 11

April 1 & 22

May 20

If you don't see the July fics updated on the dates mentioned then it will be updated the next week. Thank you and have a nice day. Any fics that are being re-edited will be updated every Saturday until they start going into near chapters. Upon that time they will follow the schedule above.

Febuary 7, 2014: Hey Fanfiction.net, this is your longtime authoress Simply Hopeless here. I’ve been on Fanfiction.net since 2003 and I’m thinking about hanging up my keyboard for good. I’ve danced around the subject off and on for three or four years now, but I’m honestly thinking about doing it for real this time. Maybe I’ve lost my edge or something, but I don’t think I love fan fiction writing as much as I did when I first started out. Back then three reviews could have spurred me to write even if it was ‘I like, update, more’. Sure I wasn’t the best writer then, but I know I’ve grown leaps and bounds, despite my grammar. I’m still growing and I’m proud to say that a lot of people have favored my stories and me as an authoress. But as my skills improved I’ve found that I desire reviews that will help push me to improve and/or encourage me/ stroke my ego. That, however, has sorely been lacking for a lot of my stories and the alerts/favorites frustrate me because it shows that you guys like it, but won’t put in the effort to tell me why.

So long story short, for better or worse, I’ll try to update 8 times in 5 months for a few of my stories from different fandoms. By the beginning of June 2014, if I feel dissatisfied, I’m going to hang up my fanfic writing hat for good guys. If I do find that I’m loved I’ll start writing again in August 2014 in time for an anime convention in Baltimore. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my ten and a half years of writing and growing as an author, but I don’t think I can put up with the disappointment of writing and feeling like some of my readers don’t care. It doesn’t mean I think all my readers don’t care. I know there are tons of people out there who have written well thought out reviews from one or two sentences to mouth-watering paragraphs that have made me just itch to write just to see what you might say next. But as I look back at some of my reviews for inspiration for a new chapter I’ve realized that some of my reviewers write the same thing over and over again and I’m beginning to question why bother agonizing day in and day out how you might react to something in the story if no one tells me.

So if you have ever liked any of my stories, please remember to review. It doesn’t have to be fancy but I need to know that I shouldn’t retire. If I do retire, I’ll keep my stories up for the rest of the year before deleting my account on here and the other websites. This might leave a lot of stories with unresolved endings but I will not be giving any of the stories up for adoption. I’ve put a lot of effort into my work, they are my children and I’d feel hurt to see someone else continuing on where I left off. So if I find anyone trying to adopt and finish my stories for me I will report you. But hopefully it won’t come to that. =/

Nov. 3 2012 - Just recently a person by the username Paradox-en-Vogue plagarized one of my stories. Not just plagarized it but accused me of plagarizing my own story. If you guys see any more plagarizing of my stories please let me know or if you feel that I have sorely abandoned a story and want me to update stat please let me know. I rather update it then have you copy and continue it on your own. I will never orphan my stories; although I may let you borrow a character I created and/or tweaked if you ask nicely.

Dec. 24 2011 - I have decided to do a little experiment seeing as a handful or so of my readers/reviewers believe that I focus more on getting reviews then enjoying my writing. I won't lie and deny I'm a review whore because I am. What is so wrong for an author to want and anticipate seeing what their readers think about their stories? Did they like this part or notice me connecting this part to the actual anime/manga? Do they get my brand of humor or why I feel the need to make so and so suffer more? You think it's easy to see a ton of alerts and favs and maybe one or two thought out reviews, that at least tell me what chapter they had read instead of the generic 'love it, update please'? Not really.

So this is what I'm going to do... For five chapters starting, Dec. 1 onward I'm not going to bitch, beg or threaten for reviews. If you like the story review if you want. I'll update the stories I've started to update this December regardless if I get 0 or 5,000 reviews. Hopefully I can update every other week, depending on writer's block. (Will update 'YouTube Fool and Demons Have the Most Fun' in three weeks for their third chapter since I updated the second a week earlier). No matter how much it frustrates/kills me to see so many hits and so little responses I'll deal but after the five chapters, if I see that my stories are doing worse and not better because of my passivity I'll simply put the stories on permanent hiatus. No explainations needed because it's obvious you don't care about them and what kind of author am I to give you chapters you obviously don't want. If you care, you share (your thoughts/review). I won't stop writing, I'll just work on other stories I wasn't able to work on at the time because there are so many. Then I'll repeat this experiments until I weed out the weak. That way I can update more efficently without all of the fuss.

Some may think this extreme, that they do like the stories and would review the story if they could. Okay... but I try to put my everything into each chapter whether there are grammatical errors or not. I love putting my characters into different situations, anticipating what my readers might think of this or that, so it hurts to see my efforts unappreciated. So to save us from this vicious cycle I'll stop the story before I lose love/interest in them. Okay now bye XP

Quotes from Black Books

Cooking the Books (ep. 1)Bernard is trying in vain to do his taxes; there is a knock at the door Bernard: Oh, thank Christ!

Bernard opens the door to reveal two Jehovah's witness'

Jehovah's Witness #1: Hello. We were wondering if we could talk to you about Jesus. Bernard: ... Great! Come in! waves them in Jehovah's Witness #1: Stunned What? Bernard: I'd love to hear about Jesus. What's he up to now? Jehovah's Witness #2: It's a trap!!

After being admitted to the shop to discuss Jesus; Bernard is waiting for the Jehovah's Witnesses to start Jehovah's Witness #1: Well, to be honest... we've never actually thought this far ahead. Looks around It's nice this... indoors. Bernard: So, so what's your favourite story about Jesus? Pause. The two Jehovah's Witnesses think very hard Jehovah's Witness #1: Oh yes! The one where Jesus rescues the Samaritan. Bernard: No, that's a story Jesus tells about a Samaritan who rescues someone else. Jehovah's Witness #1: Surprised Really? Manny's First Day (ep.2)

After Manny has expressed an interest in bringing in some standard lamps Bernard: Why didn't you just say you were gay? Manny: Surprised I'm not. Bernard: But you're interested in Fran joins in lamps. Manny: Yeah, but I'm interested in women... and lamps.

Manny: I thought you were, actually. Gay, I mean. Bernard: So did I, for a bit. Then I found out about the prohibitive standards of hygeine. And all that dancing! The Grapes of Wrath (ep. 3)Bernard: No one is willing to admit that wine doesn't actually have a taste. Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating? Bernard: Some sort of delicious biscuit. Manny: It's a coaster. Bernard: Is it? Is there any more?