I was feeling nostalgic-ish for my old username, but I've decided against a total return to form. Instead, I'm going to play around a bit until I find what I like. Sorry if it causes any confusion!

If for some reason you'd like to know a bit about me, I'll give you a brief bio.

I'm a physical description minimalist, both in my fics and in my profile. I also have the vocabulary equivalent of Katamari Damacy. I roll around, picking up words from other languages. I seem particularly fond of British English, Spanish, and Yiddish. I am also the King of References. Go on, challenge me, peons.

Long list of favorite bands, TV shows, and books? Bah, who needs it? Instead of subjecting you to that typical profile torment, I'll just give you some of my favorite quotes, which are more interesting and useful, anyway.

The man who has his millions will want everything he can lay his hands on and then raise his voice against the poor devil who wants ten cents more a day. - Samuel Gompers

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his abilities. - Oscar Wilde

Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you'll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding. -Stephen King

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. -John Lennon

"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God. And He went away. -The Book of Bokonon

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?- Morty

Lo behold a pale horsez with a dood sitin on it, his naym wuz Deaths, an liek Hadez an stuff followd himz. Him had enuf skillz to be in ur base killin lots ur doodz. -Revelation 6:8 of the LOLCat Bible (I am not making that up!)

Now, as for my fanfiction. I was dormant for about two years before coming back to life. I have quite a few ideas, so I hope to remain active this time around. I find the whole process of writing both relaxing and exciting. Since I'm a writing major in college, fanfiction is also good practice.

As for my likes and dislikes, fanfiction-wise:

Mary-Sues: Hate them, despise them, get violently ill in their presence. We all have fantasies. Unless we are serial killers with impulse control problems, we don't subject unwilling victims to our desires. You may want to be a perfectly-proportioned blonde wizard sex-cake with boobies everyone wants to touch. I don't want to hear about it.

Slash: It's incredibly hard to find good slash. INCREDIBLY hard. I have no problem with slash as a genre, I have problems with slash not having plot, grammar, or spell-check. Also, some characters were simply not meant to be gay, no matter how hard you try.

OC's: Original Characters have a way of unfailingly becoming Mary-Sues. It's like the force of evolution turns an OC into a perky little monster over the course of four chapters. Frightening, really.

Missing Sister/Twin: Harry Potter writers, I'm calling you out specifically here! There are no secret hidden twins! That's pure soap-opera fodder! Also, these missing twins/sisters are almost entirely of the Mary-Sue variety. You know, insanely powerful wizards, sexy enough to ensnare the Pope, that kind of thing.

Modern Age: One of my favorite fics is actually of this variety. Sadly, most Modern Age fics are crap. Somehow anachronistic characters, asides from surviving into the modern age, entirely change their personalities. And not for the better. You'd think a person, elf, hobbit, etc living thousands of years would have better things to do than shop at Wal-Mart for days on end. But no.

Everyone Goes Emo: Just no. Please, my local mall is Emo-Jima. If I want to see wannabe poets dressed in black, I'll sit on a bench and stare for ten minutes.

Poetry: God, when you get a good piece of fanfiction poetry, the heavens just open. It's rarer than blue diamonds, but it will end up on your favorites list. By the way, poets, a haiku goes 5-7-5, and no other way. Damn it.

People Who Can't Tell the Difference Between a Guest Review and a PM: Yeah, you know who you are. Cut it out.

I used to be one hell of a flamer and nasty reviewer, as some of you may know, but I've mellowed in my old, old age. I won't say it's entirely behind me (and don't be the one who brings me out of retirement!) but I'm taking a hiatus from grammar fascism.