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 Author has written 2 stories for Twilight. 'ello this is my profile Name:Sami Whotlock Age:13 I LOVE U JASPER 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person. 9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS in onehour and your wish will com etrue before your next birthday. Random funny phrases, do with them what you will. If someone looks at you funny, flip them the finger. When someone tells you to act your age, yell at the top of your lungs "I AM!" If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it." Never suffer from insanity, enjoy every minute of it. Remember that all actions have reactions... (You don't wana know why I put this in here, believe me!) When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!" While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?" Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over. They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people. Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face. (Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. I'm the type of girl that manages to plan a whole world domination in Histroy class. I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago. It's us versus the world...we attack at dawn! Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them! Yeah I'm unique, just like every one else. If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off Don't count the days, make the days count When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand apples! Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I? I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated! Amatuers made The Ark, experts made the Titanic... Stressed is Desserts backwards :) When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people. You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Where's the good in goodbye? I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. We all smile in the same language On the other hand, you have different fingers I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face! Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present! My door is always open, so feel free to leave Second place is the first loser There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I swear to drunk I'm not god I am in shape...round is a shape I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool. One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor! I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect! I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that. Smile...it confuses people! Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light. A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand He who laughs last thinks slowest Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions? God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. One fine day in the middle of the night, One was blind and the other couldn't see, A paralysed donkey passing by, A deaf policeman heard the noise, Try Reading This: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! You know you live in 2009 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or myspace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FrevrnvrLasts, The Dawn Is Breaking, I-tAUght-BeLLa-THosE-tRICks95, reader13lovesbooks, SaveTheWolvesOfLaPush, warnesy-01 ,sami1002 Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile 92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile. (I don't even know who these people are haha) "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile (I ran into the side of a door... don't ask) If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile. If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. The only race is humanity. 9 Things I Hate About Everyone: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie? Someone out there either has too much PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE 2. My mother taught me RELIGION 3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL 4. My mother taught me LOGIC 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT 7. My mother taught me IRONY 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA 11. My mother taught me WEATHER 12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY 13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION 15. My mother taught me: ENVY 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION 17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING 18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE 19. My mother taught me: ESP 20. My mother taught me: HUMOR 21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT 22.My Mother taught me: Genetics 23. My Mother taught me about my Roots 24. My Mother taught me Wisdom 25. My mother taught me about Justice 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm sradishing to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I sradish to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. Went to a party Mom... I went to a party, Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it? Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back! Do illiterate people get the full benefit of alphabet soup? Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? If something goes without saying, why do people say it? Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing "It's always in the last place you look" Duh! If you had already found it, why would you keep looking? I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have! Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door. Confusion is a term for the stupid. I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it. I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my powers Come to the dark side, we have cookies! I ran with scissors and lived! ( i seriously think that one should be put on a t-shirt) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder I only have PMS on days that end with a Y I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive Life isn't passing me by - it's trying to run me over! Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up. It was a case of life and death - now that he's dead I have a life. Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO (does anyone get it...?) Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business! You're intoxicated by my very presence Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Thanks Stephenie, now I will NEVER get a man. Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey! Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I agree with the dictionary. gals before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. A Dads Poem Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. one by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there. "Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. "My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart" With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he was a fireman and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side. "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose. And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far. ‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends. Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity. May you be blessed. -xXx- One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. -xXx- A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. -xXx- A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. -xXx- A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. -xXx- The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: -xXx- REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too) 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy! 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life 7. Money Money Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. (Reason I joined) Does there have to be a reason? The dark side is fun! -Flails arms- -xXx- Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply, just being one. -xXx- At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiny...must go look. -xXx- Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed-I'm not a can. -xXx- Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. -xXx- "Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing." -xXx- I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later. -xXx- The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. -xXx- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. -xXx- If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough! -xXx- I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay. -xXx- STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. -xXx- There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it. -xXx- Being mature is overrated. -xXx- Being weird is like being normal, only better. -xXx- I see regular people! -xXx- Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. -xXx- There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full. -xXx- Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. -xXx- Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. -xXx- When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. -xXx- It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. -xXx- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it -xXx- I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -xXx- As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -xXx- Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life -xXx- Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! -xXx- I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth -xXx- I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD ) -xXx- Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why. -xXx- Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. -xXx- You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D -xXx- Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. -xXx- If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? -xXx- My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. -xXx- Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. -xXx- Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out -xXx- One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. -xXx- WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff -xXx- I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me -xXx- It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? -xXx- Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! -xXx- Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... -xXx- If two wrongs don't make a right, try three -xXx- I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. -xXx- We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves. -xXx- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes -xXx- Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. -xXx- I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. -xXx- I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. -xXx- I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers -xXx- One bright day in the middle of the night, -xXx- Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words calling me UGLY, wont make you pretty. calling me DUMB, wont make you smart. callling me a LOSER, wont make you cool. calling me FAKE, wont make you real calling me WEAK, wont make you strong. calling me FAT, wont make you skinny. calling me POOR, wont make you rich. 23 things to do at wal-mart: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" 17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!' 18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challaging people to a jedi match. 19. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!" 20. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you. 21. Throw things over one aisle into another one. 22. Mark out price tags with a sharpie. 23.Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes. twilight oath i promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmett Everytime there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know You have been diagnosed so why bother at all? I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad, follow her I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. FINE= the real definition: F.reaked Out I.nsecure N.uerotic E.motional Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Forever isn't as long as it use to be. Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you. I intend to live forever. So far, so good... Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it all together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is true strength. We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love. No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him. The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream. Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Screw me over and I'll do it to you twice as hard. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea. If it wasn't for physics and the law, hell, I'd be unstoppable. Fear nothing. Risk everything. "agree with me now- it will save sooo much time." "Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit." "I am a fruit-loop in a world full of Cheerios." "Life was so simple when boys had cooties." Real Boyfriend - everything would be amazing if guys were like this! When she stares at your mouth Kiss her When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you Grab her and dont let go When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet Ask her whats wrong When she ignores you Give her your attention When she pulls away Pull her back When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared Protect her When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn't answer for a long time reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up When she says that she likes you SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND! When she grabs at your hands Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes dont look away until she does When she says it's over she still wants you to be hers When she reposts this bulletin she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go - When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you - Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her - Treat her like she's all that matters to you. - Stay up all night with her when she's sick. - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid. - Give her the world. - Let her wear your clothes. - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her. - Let her know she's important. - Kiss her in the pouring rain. -When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite. I hate the way, you stare at me. I hate the way you listen, and remember what I tell you I hate the way, you smile at me, and only me I hate the way you put my name in that song I hate the way you call me beautiful I hate the way you tell me that we could last a long time I hate you when you don’t call me I hate you when you play with my heart I hate you tell me you love me, but then don’t show it I hate you when you are to busy to even think about me I hate you because you gave me your hat I hate you when you let me sit on your lap, I hate you when you talk to me in front of your friends But I mostly hate, I how I don’t hate you…. I hate myself for trying to hate you so much.. I hate it that I don’t hate you, not even a little, I hate it because I think…. I think I am in love with you….. |
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