hello ppls. u dont know me and i probably don't know you, so lets start with the basics.

Name(s):

alice, real name

midnightrose12206, screen name

alice in wonderland, nickname

retard, sometimes true

weirdo, always true (and damn proud of it)

Update on nicknames

dumbass (why do I have to think outside of the classroom?)

fatass (food, do u understand?)

jackass/jerk (can't help wat i am)

bored (I'm bored, what are u?)

Age:

not old,

not young,

not child,

not adult,

what am i?

no guesses?

i'm 16, for now...

Sex:

hmmm...ima have to think bout that one.

no wait, its not that kind!

duh, so retarded!

female, always! teehee...

Interests/Hobbies:

reading,

playing my saxophone,

writing (of all sorts),

hanging with friends,

drawing,

shopping,

Fave books:

maximum ride series

twilight series (not the movies)

blue bloods series

house of night series (not after the...7th/6th book)

blue is for nightmares series

hunger games

host

young wizards

chronicles of vladimir tod

darkangel trilogy

blood and chocolate

harry potter

inheritance cycle

vampire academy

wicked lovely

downsiders

infinity by sherrilyn kenyon (really, really LOVE this series)

thats all i could think of on the spot for now...still a lot though (i know im a bookworm XD)

Fave authors:

isabel allende

laurie stolarz

richelle mead

stephenie meyer

diane duane

james patterson

j.k. rowling

p.c. and kristen cast

christopher poulini

sherrilyn kenyon

jessica bird/ j.r. ward

Best friends:

cherry/joyce

kristine

rodechelle

faye

melanie

elizabeth

cookie

danielle

Where i'm from:

the U.S of A (hell ya!)

sunny california (very nice =D)

vietnam (originally)

Fave things (didn't mean it like that perverts! tee hee):

flowers (black roses to be exact)

corny sayings (wat can i say?)

romance (ima sap, i admit it)

chocolate (enough said XD)

Just whatever caught my eye when I go surf the net

This is a really, really funny story I read somewhere on the net and I just had to put it on my pro. Seriously funny, I almost busted a gut when I finished reading it.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Another funny story that I found while surfing the net (while I was supposed to be finishing my project ;D) I can't focus well and this just caught my focus for me, too bad it can't force me to do my hw, oh well. loved this one. ENJOY!!

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Funny little sayings. love them cuz they are so true!

You laugh at me because I’m different, but I laugh because all of you shitheads are the same

This...was so many levels past 'not good' there wasn't a word for it yet

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity

I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain

Mind like parachute - only function when open

We all go a little mad sometimes

there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

"i am implementing the 'screw you' plan"
"what would that be..exactly?"
"exactly what it means. i say screw you, and you leave...so go on...shoo"

I'm not evil I'm...no wait, I AM evil...

Free insults, come get yours

When the world turns it's back on you, steel it's wallet!

Oh my Gosh! A friend of mine sent this to me and it was soooooooooooooo sad! read!

my name is chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen.
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All day long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear him curse,
My name is called,
I press myself,
Against the wall.

I try to hide,
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door..

He's already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues,
With more bad words spoken.

'I'm sorry!', I scream,
But it's now much to late,
His face has been twisted,
Into a unimaginable sh ape.

The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!

And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Chris,
I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

And you can help,
Sickens me to the soul,
If you read this,
and don't pass it on.

I pray for your forgiveness,
You would have to be,
One heartless person,
Not to be affected,
By this Poem.

And because you ARE affected,
Do something about it!
So all I ask you to do,
Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
Pass it on, tell others, stop it

If you feel that your world stops spinning !Just kick it!. It's a ball so it should start rolling all over again. .

I laughed my ass off (no offense to twilight lovers, this actor is just S-C-A-R-Y in my opinion)

95 of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Put this as part of your sig if you are part of the 5 that would sit here with popcorn and a camera and yell DO A FLIP!!

EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS

Sign the Petition to Stop the Destruction of Fanfiction!

Fanfiction is going to enforce a "no sex, violence, etc" policy after ten years of enforcement. They'll remove anything that has sex, violence, and/or anything that they find inappropriate. That is so violating the freedom of speech law.

You can help by signing this petition:

/petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net

You can find it by copy and paste the line above on Google and you should be able to find it once you Google it.

Help spread the word so that we can stop it. Talk to other readers, writers, fans, and/or even to random people that you don't know. By spreading the word and signing the petition we can stop the "no sex, violence, etc" policy.

Imagine all the stories that you love on fanfiction that can be gone in a blink of an eye. There are many stories out there and I for one wants to read them. Take part in fighting back. Join us. Don't be afraid to fight back. You're not alone, many of us are working toward the same goal.

We must save fanfiction! All of us on fanfiction love it the way it is. So, if you love it, protect it! Fight back by signing and spreading the word.

Every vote counts and you can make a difference! Take part in it and we welcome you. No matter what, fanfiction must be save. Spread the word and sign the petition.

Everyone's counting on you. Please answer our call for help.(-)(0)

The truth behind the destruction of Fanfiction

I found out why and what's happening in fanfiction. Read this:

Chain-letter from PrideViola:

Here's some info I got from a Lunaryu and she got it from a reviewer named Rei concerning those responsible.

The source of the purge has been found. A group of regular FF users, Critics
United, will post any story they don't like on their forum. Then they have all
their members mass report it until the story is deleted. In their forum they
say they hope to cause another purge soon.

They are not critics; they are bullies. They do not offer constructive
criticism; they flame and poke fun. They like to call stories sh¡tfics, and
call authors whose story they got deleted 'immature' and 'likely to b¡tch at
them.' They often use heavy sarcasm and condescension in their supposed
'constructive criticism.'
The head of Critics United has MA sex scenes in her stories.
Copy and Paste
Spread the word