Field Trip, a Maximum Ride Fanfiction

Update: I'm not adding much content, just removing some old cringe and authors notes which I'm sure are annoying new readers. Carry on.

A/N: I started this fanfiction as a scrap, hoping to relieve some stress by randomly typing some stuff. However, I soon decided I liked this idea, and the rest is history. It's fluffy, but that's how I write. I also needed some background to keep in the style of James Patterson and to make the story work. Please bear with me!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story — James Patterson does — because if I did, Fang would be overwhelmed by fangirls by now.

Chapter One —

"Are you completely insane?" I glared at Jeb, my voice raising an octave throughout the span of the sentence.

"Sweetie, I just thought it would be a good idea." He was looking at me hopefully, his voice soft and pleading. "You didn't get a good experience with school last time, so I thought you would want to try it out again."

"Max, I think it would be great if you went," Dr. Martinez — Mom — added quietly, "think about all the new things you could experience. Just for a few weeks. It's not like there's much else for you to do now, so I think it would be fun, if only for a little while."

"Pleeease?" Ella smiled at me winningly as she hopped from one foot to another. "We can all go to school together, and you would be with me! We would have so much fun! Oh, pretty please?"

It was too much. I mean, Jeb I could deal with. He was a lying fink and there was no way I would do anything if he asked me to, but Mom and Ella too? How could I refuse all three of them?

"Fine, but look, I'll be willing to try it, but I'd have to consult with the flock. If they disagree, then it's a no go, no matter what I think." Ha! Like the flock would ever agree to an obviously insane idea like this. I was home free.

Jeb smiled brilliantly at me, "I knew you would consider it. Honey, I know you'll enjoy some time at school. Just don't worry about other things now — I want you to be able to experience some things like a normal person too." I turned away, knowing it would piss him off.

Yeah, like I was so totally normal.

But anyway. Since I'm a nice person, I decide to argue the case with the flock that night, even though — or maybe because — it was obvious that it wouldn't work out. Gathering everyone in my room, I explained the situation. "Okay, so Jeb had some sort of epiphany this morning," I began, as the flock filed dutifully into the room. "He says that the wants us to gain more "normal experiences" so that we are more ready for the "outside world". I had been planning to tell him in long and explicit terms what I thought about his ideas, except that he somehow got Mom and Ella on his side, so I had to agree to discuss it with you guys. What do you think — back to school, or should we up, up, and away again? Personally, I don't think it's a good idea, but that might just be me."

There was a short silence as the flock thought this through, but then the protests started. Iggy was the first to complain.

"No. It was a nightmare last time for me," he started, his arms crossed as he flopped down on my bed. "I do not want to go through that again. I mean, it was enough that everyone was avoiding me like I was some kind of mutant bird-freak — which I am of course, but they don't particularly know that — but there was absolutely no way for me to get around. I didn't know where anything was! It was… awful." Iggy paused, his voice quiet — it was always hard for him to talk about his blindness, even to us.

I looked away, a bit embarrassed at having forced him to say those things out loud. The Gasman quickly put an end to the awkward silence however, as he exploded with one of his more… violent episodes.

"Holy sh—" Iggy started, but stopped when I elbowed him in the ribs. "What was that? Did a nuclear plant just blow up, or what?"

Fang shook his head, chuckling quietly, as Nudge and Angel both held their noses and grinned at me. Total scooted under the bed with his paws over his nose, until only his tail was visible under my sheets. "Someone open a window," he mumbled, his voice muted from under the bed.

I rose with a sigh, opening the windows in my room as far as they would go. Note to self, re: tell Gazzy to work on controlling his intestines. I know he can control his eruptions; why else would he just happen to let 'er rip that one time we were in the kitchen fighting over the last slice of pie? Or the time he was about to lose at chess with Iggy? Or even the time I was trying to force him into giving up the bathroom? Coincidences can only go so far. I know he was probably trying to break the tension, but by golly, couldn't he at least work on controlling the toxicity of his outbursts?

We all waited as the air filtered around the room a while before continuing with our discussion. Total poked his nose out from under the bed, then, deeming it safe, he wriggled out and hopped onto the bed.

"I don't think it's a good idea either," he declared, as he clambered into Angel's lap. "It's so boring without you guys. I mean, what am I supposed to do while you guys are all away? Chase squirrels up trees?" He chuckled at his own joke as I rolled my eyes.

Angel looked up at me with her huge and innocent eyes. "I think it would be fun to go and play at school again," she announced, "even though there were all those really mean and stupid people trying to kill us. But this time we'll be safe, won't we? So we should go and play again. It was fun playing Swan Lake," she added, nodding seriously. "And I can probably actually turn into a swan now." She paused, and started sprouting small, white feathers around her face.

"Uh, sweetie, it might not be a good idea to turn into a swan in public," I said quickly, remembering the last time she used one of her special skills. Nor is it a good idea to mess with the mind of the leader of the free world, I thought, but I didn't say anything out loud.

Nudge grinned, fiddling with a piece of her hair. "I know I shouldn't want to, but I think it was fun at school, especially that field trip we had. I think we should go to school, even if it only means we get to go on more field trips. Do you think we might go to France or something? I really liked France, even though we didn't get to stay there for long. If we go there again, I want to go to the beach and, like, just stay there all day. Did you know that there's beaches in France where everyone just goes around naked? Isn't that disgusting? I want to see that sometime, not because everyone is naked of course, but to see if it's actually true. Do you think it could actually happen? I think…"

Nudge rambled on, delving deeper into the topic of nude beaches until both Gazzy and Iggy had joined in on the conversation. At that point in time, I decided to stop them, because Angel was starting to look slightly confused. I didn't want her to know anymore inappropriate things than she already did — a six year old with a bad word vocabulary bigger than mine is already quite enough, thank you very much.

"Getting back to the discussion at hand," I said pointedly, ruffling Nudge's hair. "I think it's sufficient to say that right now, we have a two on two vote for and against going back to school."

"Excuuuse me?" Total jumped onto my lap with a thump. "I don't believe you are forgetting someone?"

"Right, a two on three vote for and against going back to school," I corrected quickly, before Total could start pouting. "Gazzy?"

"Umm… I'd have to agree with Angel on this one. Sorry, Ig, but I thought it was really fun at school too, even though there were a lot of jerks and stupid people. I liked bombing the boys' bathroom the best. If we go back to school, maybe we can try that new super—" The look on my face must have stopped him, because he cut off before finishing the sentence. I decisively ignored his last comment — it wouldn't do anything if I told them to stop anyways, so I would just pretend I didn't hear about it.

So it was up to Fang. I couldn't help but grin inwardly — there was no way he would agree to going back to school. "Fang? What do you think?"

Fang looked around at the hopeful eyes looking at him naïvely (well, with the exception of Iggy, of course), and then he looked back at me, his eyes apologetic. I think I was just in time to change my smug expression to one of horror before he mumbled, "I think it would be a good idea to go back to school too."

Crap.

"Waitaminit, who are you, and what did you do with the real Fang?" I demanded, as all around me cheers erupted from the younger kids. I grabbed him by the shoulders, tilting his head back and forcing him to look at me. He looked up, his face expressionless, except for a hint of laughter in his eyes.

"I thought it would be nice to have access to a computer in order to continue with my blog, and I didn't want to keep on asking Dr. Martinez to borrow her laptop," he confessed, and then grinned at me cheekily.

What the sh? Fang, Fang had just agreed to go to school in order to continue work on his blog? Was he completely and utterly insane? I stared at him, my right-hand man, who had suddenly betrayed me in order to post on his blog.

Finally, I decided to close my mouth before I started catching flies.

"Fine," I sighed, the beginnings of a migraine starting to roll in. "You win. Next week we enroll in school."

I was going to hate myself for this.