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 Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Less than 1 precent of teenages don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE! Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!. If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile If you wish your whole class liked the same books as you copy and paste this into your profile If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you dislike people who dislike people that aren't pretty, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If people think your mentally insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Seddie is much better than Creddie, copy and paste this onto your profile If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile. 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune Find a Globe. Spin it. What does it say? sudan 2.Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 3, word 6. Which book is it,and what does it say? the 3.What can you hear right now? the proud family movie 4.Have a conversation with the closest living thing other than yourself: the wall woudnt answer 5.Turn on the T.V. What show is on? disney channel proud family movie 7.What happened last time you were typing on this computer? i coudnt paste somthing and my mom had to fix it 8.Stand up. Close your eyes. spin around 3 times. Open your eyes. What do you see? coat closet door 9.If you could be anyone from harry potter who would you be? hedwig 10.Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they say? deeesoad Everyday Life SUPPORT THE BUNNY! ( )( ) 4. What do you order when youre at IHOP? pancakes 5. Last book you read? new moon 6. Describe your mood. Ummm... I'm bored. 7. Describe the last time you were injured?last night 1/20/09 i had a ball om a rope and i hit myself in the with it 8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with? hannah 9. Rock concert or symphony? ROCK!! 10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? Umm.. i dropped my cell phone in a sewer and i am waiting on new one 11. Favorite Soda? dr.pepper 12. What type of shirt are you wearing?green shirt. 13. If you could only use one form of transportation: moped 14. Most recent movie you have watched in theatres? city of ember 15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for: josh huterson 16. Whats your favorite kind of cake? ice Cream Cake. 17. What did you have for dinner last night? enchaldes 18. Look to your left, what do you see? a lamp 19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Umm no. 20. Favorite toy as a child? a blue mouse named ralph 21. Do you buy your own groceries? No. 22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? yes 23. Whens the last time you had gummy worms? a year ago 24. Whats your favorite fruit? star fruit. 25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel? No. 26. Do you like running long distances? No. 27. Have you ever eaten snow? Yes. 28. What color are your bedsheets? blue with flowers they are so ugly 29. Whats your favorite flower? Violets. 30. Do you do ballet? You've got to be kidding me. 31. Do you listen to classical music? hate it but i play the trumpet 32. What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head? 6teen 33. Do you watch Sponge bob? Yes. 34. What temperature is it outside right now? -17 35. Do people consider you smart? I STILL KNOW NOTHING!! in school but outside of school i am very smart 36. How many piercings do you have? needle phobia 37. Are you signed on AIM? No. 38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? Yes. 39 .How do you feel about your family? Umm they're parents. What am I supposed to say? plus my little sister i hate her 40. Do you have an iPod? Yes. 41. What time do you go to bed? 5:30 am 42. What CD is currently in your CD player? Nothing. 43. What movie do you know every line to? to every one i see so over 200 44. What is your favorite salad dressing? thousand island 45. What do you want for Christmas this year? its 1/21/09 just passed but i want a ATV i am omly twelve 46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? cousins jonathen and trever 47. Do you like hugs? only from certin people 48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Winter Concert. 49. Whats the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? cant tell you Do you watch college football? never 2. Who's your favorite redhead? ron weasly 4. Who was the last person to send you a text message? pohne problems remember 5. Do you love anyone? yes 6. Are you happy? Yes. 7. Where was the last place you went shopping? journeys 8. How do you feel about your hair? It's wet 9. Where do you work? School. They treat us like slaves! and they beat us their just kidding 10. Last thing you ate/drank? microwavable cookie and cherry juice 11. Do you wish you were someplace else right now? Not really. 12. Do you have any pet peeves? Too many. 13. Do you have any expensive jewelry? yeah 14. AIM or Yahoo? Yahoo. 15. Do you like math? I LOVE IT! Just kidding, I hate it! Lol. i am failing it 16. How many hours on average do you work a week: I dont work just school 18. Favorite baseball team? Don't care. 19. Favorte NBA team? Don't care. 20. Do you watch the Olympics? Yes. 21. Last restaurant you went to? granite city 22. Who was the last person to call you? my mom 23. What’s your sign? aquarius 24. Do you have a favorite number? 1/3/09 25. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations? I never did, I'm too lazy. 26. What do you spend the majority of your money on? toys electronicts 27. Where does your family live? You do not need to know that. 28. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? i have a sister named kelsie born in 1999 29. Ever been called a bitch? Luckily, no! 30. Got any guilty pleasures? i have a little tikes underwater camera 31. Do you drink beer? Ew no. 32. Whats your favorite color? red 33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies? Yeah, who dosen't? 34. Ever bought anything online? Yes. 35. Myspace or Facebook? I'd pick space sucks 36. Do you have T-Mobile? No, I hate T-Mobile. 38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else? Yeah. 41. Last time you saw your parents? 5 hours and 43 minutes ago 42. Do you have any talents? I can memorize any song or movie line 43. Ever been in a wedding? yes 44. Do you have any children? No. 45. Last movie you watched?juno 46. Are you missing anyone at the moment? no 47. Did you take a nap today? No. 49. Ever been on a cruise? No. 50. Did you notice number 40 was missing? No. 52. Do you have any wealthy friends?all of them 53. Ever met anyone famous before? cheetah girls 54. Favorite actor? jerry trainer 55. Favorite actress? emily osment 56. Are you multi-tasking right now? on computer and watching tv 57. Could you handle being in the military? No way!! 58. Are you hungry or thirsty? Hungry. 59. Favorite fast food restaurant? Cheesecake Factory. 61. What is your average cell phone bill? I try not to think about it. 62. Do you own a camera phone? Yeah. 63. Ever had to take a sobriety test? No. 64. Do you believe in Karma? Yes. 65. Can you speak any other languages? no just english 66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out? 1/21/o9 67. How many pairs of shoes do you own? ten 68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use? PhotoBucket. 69. Last place you were?my house 71. Ever been to Las Vegas? yes 76. Have you ever been gambling? No. 77. How old are your parents? 44 and 47 78. When is the last time you updated your blog? 1/20/09 79. Do you have your wisdom teeth? no 80. Favorite place to be? anywere with my friends 81. Have you been to New York City? no 82 Favorite sit down restaurant? jmk nippon 83. Ever been to Disney Land? No. 84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? jude from 6teen 85. Last thing you cooked? a microwavable cookie 86. How is the weather today? cold and snowy 87. Do you email? Yes. 88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?a american girl magizine i hate that store 91. Last voicemail you received? I forget. 92. Do you drunk dial/text? No way man. 93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? accidently drop it in sewer 94. What is the best city in the state that you live in? I don't know. 96. Did you just die? maybe 97. Are you bored right now? Kinda. 98. Last concert you went to? my band concert 99. What do you think about before you go to bed? Seddie = love beyond love. 100. What are your plans for tomorrow?go to school Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your options. Would you rat her be fat for a while, or kill your child? If you're against abortion, re-post this 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CAUSE I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE BITCH THAT KILLED YOU! SEND IT TO YOUR TRUE FRENDS A friend calls you while you're in jail, a good friend visits you while you're in jail and a best friend will be sitting next to you yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!" If you have a best friend copy and paste this into your profile. SOMEONE MAKES FUN OF YOU. A GOOD FRIEND WOULD MAKE FUN OF THEM BACK. A TRUE FRIEND WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM FOR YOU. copy and paste in profile if you have any "true" friends. Did you know that... Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It's good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now, make a wish. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and your wish will be granted. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional To get to the end of the rainbow, you have to put up with some rain To the world your just one person, but to one person you might be the world. Sometimes the dreams that come true,are the dreams you never even knew you had. Smile and the world smiles with you Dont worry, it might never happen You're not wasting your life away if your doing the things you enjoy. caitie. that's me. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Repost this as I did if you think homophobia is wrong. I am willing to stand up to anyone and everyone who thinks that being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual or anything else like that is wrong and sinful. You cannot help who you love. Whether you are a man that loves a man, a woman that loves a woman, or someone who found out that they were born in the wrong body, you are who you chose to be. Don't let anyone scare you into thinking that who you love or who you want to be is wrong, because it is not. 29 reasons why girls are the best If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think the reason most people put anonymous reviews(other than not having an account) is because they are afraid of being confronted by the person they flamed, copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile If 2 of your friends jumped off a cliff, and would you be standing there laughing your ass off, copy and paste this to your profile.(only if it was Warriorsgirl and Dragonbreath102) Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off. If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile. If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you and have called in reinforements copy and paste this onto your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you've ever had to be pinned down on the ground, floor, or wall by your friends because you were about to kill someone,98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile. If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever gotten annoyed with all of these 'copy and paste this into your profile' sayings, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile I hate Twilight! If you hate Twilight to, then copy and paste this to your profile. =D hday! - "Stressed" is "Desserts" backwards - Being random is like having a cup of tea. You never know what will jump out and eat you. - I called my boyfriend the wrong name and now he thinks I'm cheating on him with some guy named "Edward Cullen" - Try and wake me up in the morning and you will die. YOU WILL DIE. - I think of funny things in my head and burst out laughing all by myself. s squat FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: Why do we play at a recital, and recite at a play? I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof! Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that. If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is, copy and paste this into your profile To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Sarcasm is one more service we offer. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you enjoy things that ask you to copy and paste them into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile. Yaaaay kitty! This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your Febuary 14, 2008 I was sitting paiently, in a classroom on that day In the autotorium as the cold wind made the flags sway The door was kicked open, and to my surprise 19 people were shot, right before my eyes 1, 2, 3 and 4 went down and screams were shared all around My heart skipped a beat No this can't be real! The bullets flew in a blood driven wheel As I breathed a great breath that soon was my last A bullet was lodged right in my chest and that right where it rest In that room, Cole hall that said 15 people were wounded And 5 were shot dead Copy and Paste this into your profile so sll are known about the tragedy at Northen Illinois University on February 14, 2008- Forward, Together Forward con The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... My name is eric I am but three My eyes are swollen I cannot see. I must be stupid I must be bad What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up all the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks arent home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car my daddy is back from Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself against the wall. I try and hide from his evil eyes I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words He says it's my fault he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free and run for the door. He's already locked it, And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me against the hard wall. I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken. "I'm Sorry!" I scream But now it's much too late His face has been twisted into an umimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again, Oh please, have mercy! Oh please let it end! He finally stops and heads for the door While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor. My name is eric I am but three Tonight my father Murdered me. CHILD ABUSE, MAKE IT STOP! I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile Hey, quick question, for whoever just happens to read this. "If a beaver and a duck were to make a platypus, which would be on top?" It really makes you think, doesn't it? Hmm. And so does chocolate cake, which explains why I've gained an extra flab on my sides this year. Guh. Fatness. We all hate it, and most of us girls are always complaining about it. But hey, if you happen to think the reason those people throw up their meal when they're done eating is because they like the taste of their own undigested food, you go right on ahead. Hehe. Did you get that? It was a joke? You didnt laugh...did you? And next person who comes up to me and says "School aint so bad" I will flip you off. Don't underestimate me. I've got special powers. !!COPY&PASTECOPY&PASTECOPY&PASTE!! Copy and paste if you believe that Craig Bartlett should've NEVER left Nickelodeon, and continued on with the Hey Arnold! "Jungle Movie", and Arnold and Helga SHOULD'VE gotten together by now. Copy and paste if you believe that Helga really SHOULDN'T HAVE taken back her confession, and let Arnold FINALLY know the WHOLE truth. Copy and paste this if you're a fan of Severus Snape and SOBBED for an HOUR OR MORE when he died in "The Deathly Hallows." Copy and paste if you aren't afraid to admit that you like the Rypay 'ship!! Copy and paste if you ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when authors on FFN upload a story with a MAJOR cliffhanger in only the first chapter, and don't update for, like, EVER!! Copy and paste if you say "OMG", "OMFG", "WTF", "IDK" in real life. Copy and paste if you and your friends are the craziest peeps at school, and don't care, and smirk when people look at you funny. Copy and paste if you are trying to love and live your life as much as you can, while you're still young. Copy and paste if you believe in... "HUGS! NOT DRUGS!" 3) "It's called PMS because mad cow was taken." -Unknown 14) "Of COURSE you're alone you KILLED. YOUR. BOYFRIEND!" -Niles, Fraiser 16) "I'm not able to draw a stick, let alone a stick figure!" -Joel, Northern Exposure 25) "Excuse me I have to go on a killing spree. Does two count as a spree or do I have to kill you too?" -House, House M.D. 26) "My team thinks I have syphillis." "Do you?" "Not yet." -House, House M.D. 27) "Light a man a fire and you warm him for a day. Light a man ON fire and you warm him for the rest of his life." If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do? If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile. If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile. If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile. How to Tell if You're a Writer -If you talk to yourself. IF YOU THINK THAT WB CHANGING THE HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOODED PRINCE RELEASE DATE TO JULY IS A BUNCH OF BULL THEN COPY THIS INTO YOU PROFILE!If you think Miley Cyrus should just come to terms with the fact that she has multiple personality disorder and get the help she needs so bad, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile. If you think Avril Lavigne is FUCKING AWSOME and not an 'emo whiny vagina' as she's described in Cindy Ella by Robin Palmer, copy and past this into your profile. This is totally hilarious I got it in an email from someone I'm not sure who but READ IT you know you want to An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Bubba: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later, he received a letter from his son. Dear Dad: For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES. Love, Bubba At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day, the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad: Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Bubba If you have ever severely hurt someone and could hardly contain your laughter, copy and paste this to your profile If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!) XP If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile My name is Nora Try not to cry on this one: sniffle A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle. Girl: Slow down, I'm scared. Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary. Guy: then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now please slow down. Guy: Now give me a big hug. (She gives him a big hug) Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me. The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile. I I am not gay, I am straight however i don't care if you're gay and I can't believe that people can be so friggin' evil to the people who are gay. Copy and paste this if you believe this. For all you people who love the same sex you go peeps! Old enough to know better, but still too young to care! Here's some of these, I saw them and had to have 'em! If you know what I'm talking about when I say OMC insted of OMG, copy and paste this into your profile. TOO FUNNY!! If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this to your profile. For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (bold ones apply to me) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. If you think that Mickey Mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar, copy this to your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction and/or fictionpress, copy this into your profile WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS: 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min. 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.) 15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave. 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary. 24. Masturbate. 25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. 30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her. 32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..." 34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply. 35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby. 39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour. 41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it. 42. Dress like the professor. 43. Cross-Dress. 44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam. 45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras "And then her pants just disappeared! Did Edward, like, use his powers to remove them? Does she do that normally?" If you think Hannah Montana should just go die in a ditch, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever stared at the computer screen, waiting for an email, because you have gone nowhere all day, copy this onto your profile. I hear the song Shake it every time I go to Hollister. Tell me that's a coincidence? Believe me, when you're older, age gaps really don't matter. Think of it this way...If you're 80 and your partner is 90, the age gap really doesn't matter! (Some parent out there with a 16 year old dating a 25 year old is going to kill me! Sorry!) I love writing and reading Homosexual smut, obviously. Who wants to read hetrosexual smut? That's disgusting. You've found what you wanted to do, You'll gain a lot of knowledge, Your future is expanding by infinite proportions. That's it. Here's the truth. When I'm with Asou-kun, It doesn't matter what I do, If it stays like this, I won't have the courage to live on. I'm sorry that I can't give you anything in return. Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit She ended up staying longer than As she walked along under the tall elm When she reached the alley, which was a However, halfway down the alley she She became uneasy and began to pray, Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness When she reached the end of the alley, The following day, she read in the Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and Thanking the Lord for her safety and to She felt she could recognize the man, so The police asked her if she would be She agreed and immediately pointed out When the man was told he had been The officer thanked Diane for her bravery She asked if they would ask the man one Diane was curious as to why he had not When the policeman asked him, he Amazingly, whether you believe or not, Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile. If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile. XD!! (browsing profiles) If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile! If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!What a Boyfriend Should Do When she walks away from you mad even sometimes find myself walking through the mall trying to preform spells in my head. lol. I'm a freak. True story: I was walking through Bed Bath and Beyond when I felt the urge to make a box of Kleenex float. So I muttered Wingardium Leviosa, and there just so happend to be a employee standing there who looked at me like I had lost my marbles. And unfortunatly...the Kleenex box stayed planted in its original spot... = My name is Lucifer I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Lucifer I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me Now i roam the underworld, to help those in need. I may seem evil, but i'm not. And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE POST THIS TO YOUR PROFILE! 'Never Argue With A Woman' One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage afterseveral hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. FACTS The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. (...no comment) The average human eats 8 spiders in their life while sleeping. (i'm sooooooooo going to tape my mouth from now on...) Cockroaches can live 9 days after there heads have been chopped off. (EWWWWWWWWWW) A melcryptovestimentaphiliac is someone who compulsively steals women's underwear. (Or, for an easier word, pervert) A mismomania is someone who hates everything.(EMO) On average, a four year old child will ask 437 questions daily. (I'm very sorry for those of you who have a four year old sibling...you're in my prayers.) There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." Someone out there either has too much PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE: SLOT MACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 1. I need 2 tell u something, read number 5 Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? So what's the speed of dark? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station... If quitters never win and winners never quit- what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Why is round pizza in a square box? Why do people say that they slept like a baby when babies sleep for only two hours? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? When you eat you have to chew and swallow... does inhailing count? Ways to make sure you're insane At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy" Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright. As often as possible, skip rather than walk . Specify that your drive-through order is "to go" Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme . Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!" Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. Girls I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.) 1. Only in 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places 3. Only in America...do stores 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, 5. Only in America...do banks leave 6. Only in 7. Only in America...do we use 8. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to . One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Being mature is overated . Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun! One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you. Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"? If you have ever threatened to cut someone's head off with a lunchtray, copy and paste this into your profile. If you kill characters just because you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever talked about your characters like they're real people copy and paste this on your profile. When the rich wage war, it’s the poor who die.- linkin park, hands held high 9 Things I Hate About Everyone: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 10 to come to the movies and stare at the damn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What the fuck can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you. If you think that describes Edward Cullen, copy it into your profile. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Tell the truth and run. Don’t follow me, I’m lost too. This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob. If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you. Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them. Set sail in a general that way direction. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Education is important, school however, is another matter. How is it possible to have a civil war? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”? Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”? “Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?” Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because ‘They’ve seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.’ These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.” If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. That's some stuff bout me!! (I like PIE!! .) Words start with ABC, Songs start with DO RA ME, Love starts with YOU AND ME. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. If annoyed further, I shall bring death upon you with my lovely cheese grater. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striat WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when for some strange reason your wardrobe scaries you so you have to army roll to your bed from your door. Crazy is hopping to class, and when asked why, you blame it on the bunnies. Even if there were no bunnies. Crazy is when you get into the wrong car when being picked up after school. Crazy is when everytime your throat hurts, you hope you somehow turned into a vampire without knowing it. Crazy is when your friend goes up to a blonde, pale doctor, tells him she knows his secret, and you let yourself get dragged out by security with her, and are still her friend. Crazy is when you have a laugh attack over something that was totally NOT funny. Crazy is when you and your best friend have a fight over a bag of air heads, and then burst the bag open causing the air heads to fly EVERYWHERE! (no lie! I totally did this! ask hrssoccergirl... it was at her house...) If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! I-quotes: 'sing like no one listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no ones watching, live like it's heaven on earth' 'lose your self in the music, the moment, you own it' Friends: Laugh when you make a joke. BEST Friends: Stare at you and then start rotfling Friends: Stare down the cliff when you tell them to jump off BEST Friends: Grab you then you both jump off the cliff Friends: Smile at you in the morning BEST Friends: Walk up in the morning and say, "Dang, what an AMAZING party last night, huh?" Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies AND Edward Cullen) (my responce) Well I really don't kno- WAIT DID YOU SAY EDWARD CULLEN?! ~If you've every mis-spelled your name (after age 10) copy this onto your profile (hehe...let me try again L-E-A- Look! Edward Cullen!...aw man!) ~If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this! (Yes, yes, very much) ~If you've ever burned a book with a sad ending copy this onto your profile (picks up ashes MEWHAHAHA) ~If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile (O_O) ~If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile 1. You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue 2. Now you're trying this because you're an idiot 3. The first truth is a lie 4. Now you're smiling because you're an idiot 5. You wanna send it to other idiots 6. Then you're thinking: 'No, I'll put it on my profile' If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you have ever looked at something that wasn't there when somebody said "Look its _", copy onto profile. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and laugh you ass of at all the people who waste their time trying to figure out what you did. If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile. If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile. Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Man: Where have you been all my life? 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like liposuction, eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage! Did anyone actually get all the way to the bottom? I have a short attention span. I doubt I could do it. 1.PULL ON A PUSH DOOR BACKWARDS 3.SAY YOUR GOING TO MOW THE CAT AND FEED THE LAWN. 4.SAY RANDOM THINGS. 5.WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR NAME SAY "DUMM DUMM DUMM." 6.GO TO AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT AND ASK FOR SUSHI. 7.TRY TO SPEAK JAPANESE TO A SPANISH PERSON. 8.TRY TO PAY WITH A CREDIT CARD AT MC DONALDS FOR A 1 DOLLAR THING. 9.ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION AND THEN ANSWER IT. AROUND WITH YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN YELLING "IM A TREE STUMP!!" 11.GET MONEY OUT OF AN ATM MACHINE AND YELL "I WON THE LOTTERY!!" 12. ASK FOR DIRECTIONS TO A PLACE YOURE ALREADY AT. 13. TRY TO ORDER PIZZA FROM MC DONALDS 14. GET HIT BY A PARKED CAR. 15. TRY TO WATCH SATURDAY CARTOONS ON A THURSDAY. 16. TRY TO SELL YOUR MONEY. 17. TRY TO PLAY THE ALPHABET ON THE PIANO 18. GET INTO A FIGHT WITH YOURSELF AND LOSE. 19. TRY TO GO SWIMMING WITHOUT GETTING WET. 20. ASK FOR DIET WATER AT A RESTRAINT How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you. 9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'Because you are my friend' If you HATE Moliver, copy and paste this into your profile. Harry Potter’s an enigma. -Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. -I used all my sick days, so I called in dead... -they say "guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, i think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood ther and yelled BANG I dont think you'd kill too many people. -so, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? -yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet -save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate. -when Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons? -when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. -when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then. -i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse -life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over -smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to - i talk to myself because my answers are the only ones i accept! - therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide -i used to see a shrink... until she said life isnt for everyone -if asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your butt, why are they named the way they are? -i live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there -the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide -your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend -tell the truth and run -if electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? (Hehe MORONS! For those of you who didn't figure it out...Go me for pointing out the obvious!) -you cry, i cry. you laugh, i laugh. you jump off a cliff, i laugh even harder - I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it... -The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese! -When in doubt, make up words! -Home is not where you live, but where they understand you. -If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you! -You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it! (My freind lives by this ever since I told her. LOL I call her cool for fun.) -One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject -Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks! -When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. -A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. -Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... -Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. - My nails can cut through human flesh and make it BLEED! AWESOME!! -Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! -I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL! -Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. -There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't. -Welcome to the internet, pants optional. -Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again. -Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. -What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder... -My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. -Do not take life too seriously; no on gets out alive. -Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now. -WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus. -If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up. -A puppie dies everytime someone shipps Harry/Hermione This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle Aka: Voldemort and Voldie to his friends. First off, I must say, Rest in Peace: James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbedge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Gregorvitch, Sturgis Podmore, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldie. May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten To James and Lily, In Remembrance …In Remembrance to Severus Snape…. ….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… ...without all the red and gold crap. …In Remembrance to Fred Weasley… …Who fought bravely to the very end…. …And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …And will loyally await his soul mate and brother… … with many jokes… ...he's got forever to think of them, right? …In Remembrance to Dobby… …Who was more free and full of love… ...than any elf, and most humans. ….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…. ...the last real Marauderer... …who was not just a wonderful father… ….a incredible husband and brave hero… ...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf. ….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks… …who died for ‘the greater good’… ...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora. …In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…. …who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive… ...and scared the crap out of some kids too. …In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldiemort…. …who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger… …but who got his butt thoroughly kicked in the end …In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore… …whose past and wisdom confused us… …whose seeming betrayal shocked us… …but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end... ...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing. In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange… … because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! She deserved everything she got and more. …In Remembrance of Colin Creevey… …who we really didn’t know too well… …but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war… …so he must’ve done something good… …besides stalking Harry. …In Remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry's actual first friend… ...who lived and died soaring - If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE! -So I was like Avada Kadavra and he was like Dead - I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling. - Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret. - Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar - I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. - I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month. - I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort - I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape - I will not scare the Arythmancy students with my calculas book - Dear Harry, I hate you, Love Voldy - When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley. - This icon is off trying to shut Percy in a pyramid. -Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked infront of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy -I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office -I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy! -Professer Flitwick's name is not Yoda -I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class -If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm -Neville: OMG I killed Harry Potter (somewhere in the distance) Voldemort: Nooooo! I wanted to do it! sob -Draco: I mock you with my spirt fingers! -I stalked a death eater and all i got was this lousy potions master! -I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand -I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing -I will not follow potions intstructions in reverse order just to see what happens -I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals -I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween -I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton -Sirius Black escaped askaban... evaded death eaters... outwitted ministry... killed by drapery. -I have a lot to live up to you know. There are so many Gryffindors' to tourture, and my minions can't do all the work. That's why I need milk. Because, ferrets with strong bones bounce a lot higher. GOT MILK? ~ Draco Malfoy If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile. 3) Freddie Benson, from iCarly- Seddie. Nuff said. (singing See You Again by Miley Cyrus) "I've got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim..." "Hmmmm..." "What?" "She sounds like a sniper!" "Oh no! Miley's gonna kill me!!" "Shes already killed my interest in her and her career. Maybe she thought it was time for her to move on to bigger things..." "i love the rain. it makes you feel like everybody else is crying with you." Ooohh... quote from one of my favorite fanfics... "Love every moment, except for the ones that suck." "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt"- quote from one of the best cartoonists ever, Charles Schulz If you've ever created an awkward silence, copy and paste this to your profile If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that Hannah Montana's music would be better off in 2004, when they used to sing advice, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should get whacked in the head with a shovel for something they've done, copy and paste this onto your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you wish more than anything that the Harry Potter world was real, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste If you've made it this far into my profile without dieing yet, copy and post this to yours If you have read or watched so many things that nothing surprises you anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile Funniest thing that happened to you today: This one weird girl who's obsessed with horses was running down the halls making horsie noises. 8 PLEASE READ Ok, so this didn't happen to me, but still read it. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile. If you suck at video games copy this into your profile. If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :) If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. Why I got expelled from Hogwarts (I honestly don't understand half of this xD) 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month" 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" Ever notice how you can say "you rock" but not "you rap"? I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down. Why is rap so named? Becasue the'c' fell off at the printer. How is it possible to have a civil war? "Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it? When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,' They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. One day this blonde calls her friend and says, Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?' The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.' Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies them for a moment, then studies the box. He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.' She asks, 'Oh, how come?' He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.' A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. How do you drown a blonde? Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye? Why don't blondes like making Kool Aide from sachets? Did you bear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre? Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes? Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks? Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home. A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!' The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror. The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striaght WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when you get sugar high and jump on your trampoline yelling "Japeth" because the name intrigues you, while your rellies are there. Crazy is when you laugh so hard that Fanta comes out your nose and then you scream "THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!" When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. He who laughs last didn't get it. If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! "Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake Christmas lights: To be used for indoor or outdoor use only (as opposed to...?) If you've ever forgotten the lyrics to a song that 3-year-olds sing, copy and paste this onto your profile. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have! I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this!:) very funny!! 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast 18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day" 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways 20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling 26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's" 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends" 37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak 38) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher DADA, even though it is the abbrieviation for his/her class. 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet 49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice A good friend will help you find your prince, a best friend will kidnapp him and drag him to you. I WANT A COKE A FRY AND A CHEESEBURGER!! IF YOU THINK DORA IS EVIL AND A MURDERER, PASTE THIS ON TO YOUR PROFILE. IF YOU THINK YO GABBA GABBA IS ONE OF THE MOST STUPIDEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF STUPID SHOWS,PASTE THIS ON TO YOUR PROFILE. I went to a party, I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now I'm lying on the pavement, My own blood's all around me, I'm sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Mom Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, I wish that you could hold me Mom, Don't Drink And Drive. You aren't only putting your life in danger, but someone elses as well. If you know the Muffin Man, copy this into your profile. If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copy this into your profile. If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. If you like the crazy saying, "has anyone gotton crazy with the mayonnaise?" copy this onto your profile. If Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT Jack was the most popular guy in school. Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Ashley approached the movies that night Ashley had peeked through Courtney's messing The next day at school Ashley wasn't A note that read: My dearest Jack, I Always with you, Ashley Please foward this or Ashley will Thank you For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye" Now you have two choices 2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart A NIGHT OUT:after naruto see's sakura and sasuke kissing.kakashi,asuma,anko,gai,iruka and REST IN PIECE TOONAMI. From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget. Tom and the Absolution A great Character and a funny host You will live on forever in this. If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32 One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me. Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies… Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. Rest In Peace, my old friend. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You zone out even with other people. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. You're profile is REALLY long. Your computer runs out of memory. You can't stop writing! Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. Put this on your profile if you're an author! :D At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came If you love your dad, post this on your profile. (Whether you're reading this or not, dad, I love you.) How To Seem Normal not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. "Hem- hem" -Umbridge (I've stripped her of the professor title) "Talk about sour grapes," -Angelina Johnson "I'll join you when hell freezes over. -Dumbeldores Army!" Neville. "Don't put your wand there boy! What if it ignited? Better wizards have lost buttocks, you know!" -Mad-Eye Moody. In Remembrance …In Remembrance to Severus Snape…. ….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… ...without all the red and gold crap. …In Remembrance to Fred Weasley… …Who fought bravely to the very end…. …And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …And will loyally await his soul mate and brother… … with many jokes… ...he's got forever to think of them, right? …In Remembrance to Dobby… …Who was more free and full of love… ...than any elf, and most humans. ….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…. ...the last real Marauderer... …who was not just a wonderful father… ….a incredible husband and brave hero… ...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf. ….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks… …who died for ‘the greater good’… ...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora. …In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…. …who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive… ...and scared the crap out of some kids too. …In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…. …who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger… …but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end …In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore… …whose past and wisdom confused us… …whose seeming betrayal shocked us… …but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end... ...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing. In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange… … because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! She deserved everything she got and more. …In Remembrance of Colin Creevey… …who we really didn’t know too well… …but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war… …so he must’ve done something good… …besides stalking Harry. …In Remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry actual first friend… ...who lived and died soaring. the thing you just read is propriety of xINFRAxREDx but I agree with it all If you finished reading HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS and consider it amazing, and to be your favorite book out of all seven, copy and paste this into your profile! RIP Steve Irwin. Copy and paste this into your profile as a memorium. If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some tall, metal pole that is blatently obvious copy this into your profile. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem! Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex. some endings are just too perfect to write fanfic's for Describing Seddie They claim they hate each other. They bet each other. They bug the crap out of one another. One hurts the other physically and verbally. The other takes the punches or tries to come up with a good come back. One pranks the other. The other has surprisingly succeeded in pranking the one back. One loves food. The other is disgusted by the one's eating habits. One loves techy stuff. The other messes with it to bug the one or hurts the one with it. One's a straight A student, The other's a straight D student. One's a bully. The other's a dork. But... One gave up a cruise for the other so they wouldn't be upset anymore. The other defended the one when being made fun of for not having their first kiss. Sometimes they get along. Sometimes they share looks and smiles. Once they shared their first kiss. They've dated and pined after so many other people, yet are still left single. Each want a companion. Sometimes they do admit they care for the other. They love one another. Not one of them will admit, though, But deep down they know. I mean, how else can you say, "I hate you" with a grin plastered on your face? |
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