![]() Author has written 2 stories for Song of the Lioness, and Sky High. Favorite Quotes: "Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'" ~ Anonymous Never frown because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile. - Justine Milton We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen, from To Love and Be Loved "The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in." Stuff: I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong...help do your part to end it!! You know you live in 2007 when... 1. you go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics2. You haven't played solitare with real cards in years 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/Live Journal/MySpace 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer 7. You read this list, and keep nodding, laughing, and smiling 8. You think bush is a moron 9. You were too busy to notice ther'es no number five 10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five 11. And now you're barely shocked by your stupidity 12. You've copy/pasted, or read more than one thingies like this. Put this in your profile if you fell for it Alice001 had this on her profile and some of them made me crack up... 10 or so Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity . 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 6. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 9. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood 10. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 11. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!" 12. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." Didn't you love it? Oh, well. I did... If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever run into a door that is clear, or broken a screen door from runnning into it, copy and paste this into your profile Who ever said 'nothing is impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door. I wish my lawn was emo... then it could cut itself. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your Profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing theirs asses off. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRASY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Make your mother proud, dont smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!! If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you think the kids should just give the rabbit the friggin' trix, copy and paste this onto your profile! A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? You know you're in love when you don't wanna go to sleep at night because your life is better than a dream. In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez! |