Name: Chance Brown

Location: Minnesota, USA

Age: 21

I am an aspiring writer who does both fanfiction and original fiction. You can check out some of my original stories on Fictionpress.com; click on the Homepage link. Anyway, I used to write only Harry Potter Fanfiction, looking up to the great writers Kirikarin, Arabella, Ginny Potter etc. Now, I hope I am on that list, or at least Goggle Boy (My previous Pen Name) is. I'm into Teen Titans, and a complete Raven/Beast Boy Shipper. Calliopemused, Bluetitan, The Ubu and Happyraven are just some of my favorites. As are Godfather and Jessemudflap. Currently I am writing Naruto Fanfiction and reading NaruHina, and KonoHana.

I have been super-obsessed with Naruto lately, I don’t know why, because I’ve watched the show and read the manga for years, I even have posters, but recently I’ve just been really into it. I am a fan of NaruHina, and KonoHana (Konohamaru I haven’t read Naruto fanfiction often, but recently I began reading it and I realized a couple of things I hate about it!

“The Japanese Language Insert”

As someone who studied Japanese, I know all too well how great the urge is to show off when you learn a new word or phrase in a different language. It’s exciting, but there is a reason you are writing in English, you can’t just throw Japanese words in the middle of a sentence. Number one, based on context words have different meanings, so you can’t say ‘I hoshi a new car’, you say ‘I want a new car’. Number two, not everyone knows what these words mean, so if you say he looked a the tsuki, then your reader may think you are talking about something specific and not the moon. ‘baka’, ‘dobe’, ‘hentai’, they are all words people use way too often in English writing. Number three, it limits your readers understanding. If I know Ero-Sennin mans Pervy Sage, then Pervy Sage gets the job done, but readers who are only familiar with the dubs may not understand what you are saying, and as a writer don’t you want your readers to understand? It’s the same with Jutsu, Raiton: Odama Rasengan is a name, so it makes more sense, but saying Lightning Style, Great Ball Rasengan gets the same message across without alienating readers who don’t understand the Japanese.

Also, Kami in Japanese is not used as an expression the same way God in English is; that's like a super pet peeve!

“The Quick Love Confession”

We’ve all seen this: “Hinata, even though I’ve basically ignored you for years, I have now come to realize that I am deeply in love with you even though I have had no girlfriend or romantic relationship to speak of before this, I am sure about my feelings. Marry me fellow 16-year-old!” Seriously, it takes time to cultivate a relationship, and even those fast, spur of the moment loves don’t happen overnight, they happen when people spend a lot of time together in a short period.

“The Ridiculously Powerful Hinata”

Somehow, Hinata’s been secretly training and she is stronger than just about even other ninja except Naruto, Kakashi, and Tsunade. She kept this a secret so that she could become head of the clan and change things, but she learned jutsu, mastered elements, gained chakra, etc to a ridiculously high level with no one paying attention. At all. By herself. And she knows exactly how to use all these techniques. Having characters grow stronger is important and possible, and it's possible for Hinata to be stronger without people realizing it, but in a village where Jonin can sense chakra, wouldn't someone investigate if a girl who everyone knew was weak suddenly had a huge chakra signature? Wouldn't that be a security issue, like an impostor or something? And if that happened wouldn't somebody investigate or watch her?

“The OoC (Out of Character) Hinata”

She yells at Naruto, or stands up to Sakura, or does something uncharacteristically brave and forward. Yes it can happen, but it’s going to happen during a battle, or during an intense moment. Not when she overhears someone say something mean. Of course, Hinata has feelings like everyone else, so there has to be a breaking point that makes her come out of her shell, but 15 years of shyness doesn't disappear overnight. While she might tell off her father during a big argument, she'll still be an overall shy person. I heart Hinata, but her character is the way it is for a reason. She’s a lot more fun when she has flaws rather then being used as a Canon-Approved Mary-Sue.

“Sasuke’s Back and it’s just like old times!”

He’s an S-Rank criminal. Seriously, he’s not going to come back and start dating Sakura out of the blue. And you can’t just explain it away with ‘he was in jail for a week, but because he came back of his own free will, it’s cool, everyone forgives him.’ He betrayed his village, attacked Konoha ninja, assisted Oorochimaru and Madara Uchiha, Tried to kill Naruto twice, Kakashi, Sakura, Sai and Yamato too. (Those can be debated...) Sasuke is a great character, but his future as a Konoha Ninja is over, OR if you want to use him, there should be proper buildup of the story. Maybe he comes back and helps defeat Madara and for that Konoha forgives him, but it's a story should take time to explain, not just a off handed remark in the midst of another story. If you don't have time to explain how he's back; is he really necessary in the story?

"KILLING INTENT AS A JUTSU"

It's not a Jutsu (even check the Naruto Data books), it's The Intent to Kill!The reason it stops people is because it's realizing that at that exact moment in life; the person you are facing isn't trying to hurt you, or defeat you; they have a desire to MURDER you. It's not something you "give off" to someone bothering you. I think when Orochimaru used it in the Forrest of Death it confused many people into thinking it was it's own Jutsu, but in the Forrest of Death, Orochimaru actually used a Genjustsu against Sakura and Sasuke to paralyze them. Naruto isn't going to stop some civilians with "Killing Intent" because he's not actually going to kill them; hence, there is no intent. Understand?

"Random/unorthodox/inexplicable pairings"

You've seen them; HinataxDeidara, SakuraxHidan, RavenxMotherMaeEye, HarryPotterxArabellaFigg. Of course the characters are there, and fanfiction is about having new ideas! Even I've put characters together who have almost no links. However, sometimes you might as well write a whole new, original story, because when you have to characterize two almost nonexistent or one-sided characters, and then find a way to make them communicate, you've created a new tale.

However,

Of course, all of these are valuable things to use in a story, but time, pace, characterization and other story elements come into play. Hinata can become more aggressive, but it won’t happen overnight, and Sasuke can come back, but you better believe they’ll be more to the story than ‘he was in jail for a week, but because he came back of his own free will, it’s cool.’ No one person can tell you how to write, or what is correct or incorrect, writing is expression; however there is one really important thing that many people must understand; Expression means nothing if no one else can interpret it. So make sure that you try to make others see what you see; feel what you feel, etc.

Fanfiction is storytelling minus characterization. Naruto is already characterized, Beast Boy is already characterized, Ron is already characterized; therefore when you say 'Naruto yelled "Believe it!", or Raven meditated, or Ron turned red, immediately we understand why the characters do those things; there's no need for characterize them. With that in mind, when you change a character; he story becomes almost completely original work. Naruto without the same plot, and without the same characters is just a new story with the same names. Keep that in mind when tweaking characters.

RULES

By the way, because Naruto is an ongoing Manga, stories tend to become AU (Alternate Universe) very quickly. Sometimes it's a big thing, like the Third never died, or Kushina Uzumaki is alive. Sometimes it's not so big, like Akamaru is still small, or Konohamaru isn't on the same team as Udon. There should be an easy way to define these things in a summary, like "P437" would mean that a story takes place after Hinata's confession to Naruto and "B437" means it takes place before. (This would be relevant mainly in NaruHina fics). Or SAU would mean Slightly Alternate Universe for things that are only minor changes and AU would mean things like Konoha High School in France. Or even MC could mean Manga Continuity and AC could mean Anime continuity, for people who don't want to be spoiled or don't read the scans online. Maybe that's something we should look into.