A/N: since this is that last chapter I would like to tank several people. Monitor Prime: who was here from the beginning znecro and Das Ubermann: there was always a race between then for the first review. Alice M.: a late-comer but they always have something interesting to say. Voldies Socks, K.C. Raven, warprince2000, IGAF-kun, Charys of Shadows.: Who were all diligent Reviewers. And finally to every other Reviewer there was, I'd like to type every name, but I don't think my fingers could take it.
A new feature I shall be adding (hint hint) is a dedicating every chapter to a special reviewer or PMer: this one goes out to
IGAF-kun
He guessed what the outcome of Beastboy's injuries were going to be back on chapter 11… congratulations
Be sure to read the rather long A/N at the end of the chapter…. YOU DON"T WANT TO MISS IT!
Chapter 17: Jaden
"Love can be both heaven and hell."
Garfeild Logan a.k.a Beastboy lay motionless. But he was awake, mostly. His mind was active but for some reason beyond his knowledge he couldn't seem to get his body to respond. The last thing he remembered was Kymendon…killing him. If he died, than how was he alive? Rachael. She had been there. Had she survived? He would never forgive himself if she was hurt.
Silently he stretched out his mind trying to find her though the connection they shared. But there was nothing. Maybe this thing had a distance limit. 'Yah that's it, she's just out of range,' he though nervously.
He tried to lift his left arm to grab onto something. And it moved! He felt it lift a few inches above the bed. Than why couldn't he open his eyes? But then blinding light assaulted him. He had opened his left eye. He could see the ceiling, it was his ceiling. He was in his room. It was a small comfort to know where he was. But… how did he get here. How much time passed? But as soon as he had asked the question he knew it had been three months since he had been 'killed.' He probably should have wondered how he knew that. He also should have wondered what had happened during that time. But he didn't, because right then he realized he could feel his legs.
Well, not so much 'feel' as in the normal sense; rather he could feel thousands upon thousands of points of pressure. He could tell that the bedding he was on was recently washed due to the lack of dust partials. And for some strange reason he knew it was exactly 21 degrees Celsius in the room. He again tried to get up. If he could feel his legs than maybe he stood a chance of walking again. But like before he could only minorly move his left arm. His whole body felt so heavy. And again, for some unexplained reason he knew he weighted exactly four hundred and thirty pounds. No way he could weigh that much. He wasn't that fat.
Boot up complete
What the hell was that? It was like the words had appeared right in front of his eye. But there was no screen. As suddenly as the words had appeared, the ceiling flashed into view only this time he was looking at it with both eyes. It wasn't possible; his right eye had been completely destroyed by Kymendon. Who could he possibly be seeing anything through it. He decided enough was enough. And he firmly ordered his body to pull its lazy weight up off the bed so he could see what the hell was going on.
He was half way up. Resting on his elbows when it hit him like a brick. He was resting on both elbows. He looked down as his mouth went dry. His right arm. It was there. And again he couldn't feel it like he used to, he was feeling points of pressure instead. But he didn't care. He had his arm back! But how? His arm had been amputated. He had died. What had happened?
Checking system status
There were those words again. They just appeared in front of him, 'Out of thin air' as the saying goes. He stretched out his newly found right arm and waved it in front of himself stupidly, wondering if he could touch the words.
Right arm: ok (oil reserves low)
Right leg: ok
Left leg: Achilles tendon hydraulic non-responsive
Internal life support: ok
Right eye: ok
Brain functions: ok
Over all system status: 98
Now he started to get the picture. It had taken a few minutes because he had been out for quite a while. But he was starting to remember. Cyborg had come into his room and said that Cyberdization was pretty much his only chance for survival. He had agreed. Then his parents had entered the room. They talked for a while. Then the titans came in, and Cyborg lead the others out of the room so he could talk to Raven alone. And, just as he said those three words, he smelt him. Although he didn't like it Beastboy could only see one way out of that situation. He had to get Raven to allow herself to get furious.
He was a goner. He had tried to lie to himself, but he knew. If he kept silent Kymendon would kill him, the other Titans….and Raven. That was unacceptable. The second and only option was to let Kymendon kill him. That would bring out the power that slept in Raven, and she would survive. But his plan had worked better than he had hoped. If he was here now she had succeeded. That meant he could now give her the life she deserved with his new body.
Okay. Now time to go see that beautiful smile again. Then with a grunt he lifted himself into a sitting position. Looking around the room he noticed his room was clean. It was cleaner that it had ever been. And for some reason he was lying on a king size bed instead of his bunk beds. He wondered what had happened to them. Than a sent caught his attention, it was of candles, lavender and old books. A smile crept across his face. Raven had been in his room, often from the strength of the sent.
A small chuckle escaped him. Then with the goofy half-smile still spread across his face he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The moved stiffer then before. But it could just be the fact that he had been lying motionless for three months. He looked down on himself. His legs had a slightly lighter shade of green to them but when he reached out and touched them they felt the same. He ran his hand all the way up to the leg of the boxers he was wearing. Wait. He pulled back the hem of the right leg looking at the line between his flesh and the cybernetic leg. Then a disturbing thought hit him. 'No'. he thought horrified.
Quickly he grabbed the waistband of his boxers and pulled them away from himself and looked down. Oh, thank god. It was still there. Wait roll call, one… two… Ahhh all is good. Satisfied he was still 'Complete' Beastboy tried to get to his feet. Pushing off the bed he got into a wobbly standing position. For a second he was very proud of himself for being able to master his new legs so quickly. But than he tried to take a step, and his left foot didn't move like it was supposed to. Finally with a thud that rattled the windows in his room he hit the floor.
What was wrong with his foot? He rolled over and pushed himself back into a sitting position and inspected his foot. He wiggled his toes and tried to move the ankle, 'there's the problem.' He thought as the foot refused to pull down. The Achilles tendon located on the back of the foot just above the heel. Or at least the hydraulic piston that replaced it wasn't operating. It simply didn't move. He would have to ask Cyborg to take a look at it, sure now he could probably download his 'manual' or something and fix it. But Cyborg had more experience with this sort of thing, so he thought it best to leave it to 'the professional' as it were.
So after many grunts and violent meetings with the floor Beastboy once again made it to his feet. Now holding firmly onto his side table be attempted to take another step, then another. He found out that although it was a little rocky, he could hobble around now. He 'walked' across the room to his dresser wanting to go searching for raven in something other than his boxers. Looking at himself in the mirror he let a sly grin fill his features…"or do I?"
Chuckling at his own little joke he pulled on a red t-shirt and blue shorts. Just as he was straightening up from fighting to get his non-responsive foot thought the shorts he noticed something sparkling on the top of his dresser. Taking a step closer he took a better look. It was his watch and wallet he was wearing when he was taken into the hospital. Cyborg must have put them here. But they weren't the thing that caught his attention. Peeking out from the inside of the wallet, almost invisible, was a penny on a string.
Opening the wallet he pulled out the leather necklace and watched the coin twirl before him. 'It's the good luck penny you gave me when my father first arrived. I thought you could hold onto it…you know, for good luck' She had held onto it for all those months after he father had attacked. Pretty much the only thing he had ever given her. Now he felt a great sadness for always forgetting to buy anyone presents at Christmas…. Especially her. He lovingly ran a finger around the edge
He was planning to give it back to her as soon as he saw her again; which he hoped would be very soon. But until then he would hold onto it. snapping out of it he slipped the lucky charm into his pocket and hobbled through his door in search of the others.
Beastboy couldn't find them anywhere, but he wasn't worried. They were probably just out having a pizza or something. Hell he couldn't exactly expect them to spend every moment by hissed waiting for him to wake up now could he? So after wandering around the tower for a while he found himself on the roof. The sun was just about to set. It was her favorite time, she said the sunset reminder her of home. So he just sat and enjoyed it for a while. Just as the sun dipped below the horizon a tiny light could be seen in the distance. Was that them coming back?
Receiving beacon signal
T-Ship confirmed
ETA: two minutes nineteen seconds
Beastboy shook his head. Damn those words just pooping out like that were really stating to get annoying. But at least they knew a few things he didn't. So with a defeated sigh he sat down and wondered how accurate that estimated time to arrival was.
ETA reliability: 99
'God, I didn't know it was possible to piss yourself off.'
The T-ship set down in its usual spot, about a dozen feet from where Beastboy currently sat. And of course Starfire was the first one out. "Beastboy, you are awake!" she cried as she flew toward him and caught him in one of her usual bone crushing hugs. He cursed his broken foot for not being able to run away from her. But fortunately because of his recent 'enhancements' her hug didn't hurt too much. Finally when she put him down the rest of the Titans came over.
Robin was beaming; his mask off and held tightly in his hand. "Good to have you back Beastboy."
Cyborg walked over with a smug look on his face. "Guess we'll have to come up with a few new names to bug yah with eh, metal butt?" Beastboy didn't like the sound of that nickname to much, but he liked to look on Raven's face even less. She said 'hello' and the usually 'welcome back.' But, well he wasn't expecting her to jump into his arms but she seemed…colder, blank, back like it was before all this madness started.
Starfire wouldn't stop asking question, even Robin kept asking him how he was. But Cyborg seemed to notice how distracted Beastboy was. Starfire was about to fire off anther round of inquires when Beastboy spoke up.
"So Cy, how'd I heal?" he knew some parts of him had had to be completely replaced. But his question pertained to the overall success of his operation. They didn't answer right away, but the all in mood could be easily noted. Suddenly everybody got really quiet and found something very interesting that wasn't Beastboy to look at. "Guys?" this silent treatment was worse than being told he had no chance.
Finally Cyborg sighed and looked him in the eyes. "B, you're mostly the same except for a few…. differences. But…" again Cyborg stumbled for words. "I looked man I really did. But well, there just don't make a metal that can shape shift…yet." He added quickly as a sign of hope. But Beastboy felt the impact like a sledge hammer to the gut.
"What does that mean?" he knew very well what it meant; he just wanted someone to tell him he was wrong.
"You can't transform again…ever." Cyborg was trying to look supportive as he said this. "You still have the ability but the cybernetics won't shift with you, so if you try… you'd die instantly."
Putting on a tough face Beastboy tried to laugh it off. "Ahhh its okay, who needs to be able to shape shift right Raven." All he wanted her to do was agree, lie to him, make him feel better. But the blank look on her face confused him. And the skeptical raised eyebrow scared him. She was acting like she had no idea what he was talking about. What had happened while he was out? for several seconds there was an awkward silence as the others exchanged confused looks and Beastboy just watched Raven with a pleading look.
"Hey Beastboy, can I talk to you over here." Called Cyborg walking a little ways over from the others. Then seeing the questioning look on Robins face said with a grin; "cyber stuff, mechanic-patient confidentiality." As soon as they were out of ear shot Beastboy shot Raven another look and face his beast friend.
"Do you remember what happened in the hospital room after I lead the others out?"
"What?" Beastboy asked confused. He guessed the subject would come up sooner or later but why was Cyborg being so serious about it?
"We think what ever Kymendon did to Raven in that last battle after you died wiped her memory." Beastboy heard the words but he didn't believe them. No way a second rate hack like Kymendon could do that to Raven at full rage. She took out Trigon… A god. Before he answered Cyborg Beastboy closed his eyes and searched for the connection between Raven and himself.
It took him a while to find it. it was were it should be but hidden, isolated. Slowly ever so slowly he stretched out his consciousness across it and just as he could feel Raven's mind before him… he hit a kind of mental wall. What? What was thins doing here? He pressed against it harder but it held. After a few tried he finally got the equivalent of a peep hole carved into the wall. And through this he looked into the vastness of her mind.
He didn't want to push into spaces he wasn't welcome so he looked at the top of her mind trying to find what had happened. There! His heart stopped. He was right Kymendon had not done this to her. She had. After they had talked, and he had told her how much he cared for her. She erased her own memory of it.
He went numb. He could barely think the words. he had….h...h…hur…hurt her. He had vowed to protect her from any sort of pain or anguish. And from the looks of things, right now it was him. He pulled back not wanting to feel the pain he had given her any longer. Back in his own mind he realized Cyborg was still waiting for an answer. What should he tell him?
"Beastboy?"
"No."
Slightly taken back by the bluntness of the question Cyborg asked. "No what?"
Before Beastboy's voice came again he lowered his head and gently side his hand into his pocket and held tightly onto her penny. When it finally didn't come his voice was soft and monotone. "I don't remember anything that happened there." He lied, but it was a lie she wanted. To not know of his love for her. To forget the pain.
"Sure?" asked Cyborg cocking an eyebrow sensing there was more going on here than he knew. But instead of an answer Beastboy simply walked over to the edge of the roof and sat down watching the last rays of sunlight disappear. By now the others assuming that Cyborg and Beastboy's mechano talk was over walked toward the two. By now Jinx had come up from inside the tower, Beastboy was too distracted to wonder how he had missed her.
"Everything good?" asked Robin as he walked up behind Beastboy. He was slightly concerned as to how the jade teenager would take the news, but he seemed to be okay. Taking into account all he had just been told. "So gang, lets head in, its getting late." Than taking Starfire's hand he began to lead the others toward the door.
Suddenly realizing Beastboy hadn't gotten up starfire called out to him. "Beastboy, do you need assistance?"
"Its not Beastboy anymore." It was true. Beastboy may has well have died on the operating table when he had been stripped of his powers. He also wasn't Garfeild, he had died along with Raven's memory of him. Taking that into account there was only one name he could go by now. His last name. His real last name
"Logan." He whispered to the wind.
"What was that?" Asked Robin staring to hear.
"It's just Logan now. Just Logan." Beastboy had taken the penny out of his pocket, and being sure to hide it from the others. Lovingly ran a single finger along its edge over and over.
"So, are yah gunna come in?" Asked Cyborg as Jinx stood next to him looking happy that Beastboy had woken up.
"In a bit, I want to watch the sunset." So with a final shrug the others left him alone. As Logan sat there, the breeze drying his silent tear. He had always heard the saying in books or movies, but for the first time he knew what it was like to die inside.
Far away, in another dimension actually a man creates a summoning spell. It is rather simple and easy to make. Which is good because although this man could use a bit of magic. His true talent was exacting pain upon the enemies of his master. Having completed the spell a great crimson light exploded up from in front of the man and formed four crimson eyes that hovered in front of him, glowing demonically.
"WHO HAS DISTUBED ME!" the voice of a god shook the very floor the humble servant was sitting on. The reason the Demon-god asked this was because of the weakened position his daughter had put him in no longer rendered him 'All-seeing." There were now 'holes' in his vision.
The man fell to his knees and bowed as deeply as the floor would allow. "It is I your God-ship, you loyal servant Jaden." Then he waited, completely still for the response that was to come.
"YOU HAVE NOT COME TO TELL ME YOU HAVE FAILED, HAVE YOU JADEN?" again Jaden was shaken to his very core from the voice of his master.
"No my lord, everything is going perfectly according to your plans." There was a little fear in the voice of Jaden at the thought that Trigon the Terrible might be displeased with him. And people who displeased Trigon the Terrible screamed for death eons before it came. So he informed the Demon-God of his progress very carefully.
"I shall shortly be summoned to the Realm of Earth and there; like you have commanded it I shall make the Traitorous daughter my bride. And together we shall sire you a new portal into the realm of men."
Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel Sequel
Yes that's right if you haven't already guess there is going to be a Sequel… well actually two. No not a trilogy. One sequel will follow this time line and deal with Trigons second coming… it shall be called:
Rise of a God
Look for it later, the summery will be something like. "Raven and Beastboy confessed their love: but Beastboy gave up everything for Raven's happiness, he even gave her up. But her father has a plan to re-enter this world, and Beastboy must protect her…. Even if it means giving up his life" (for all those Kymendon haters out there who though he should have died horribly….you'll wanna read this.)
The second sequel will be a 'What if.." what if raven went to far and KILLED Kymendon. It would change her more than she knew. It will follow a little more of a future time than the first sequel. And will deal with Raven trying to wipe the world clean of life, all the while Beastboy is trying to save her. Summery will be something like "Taking a life has left Raven open for an assault from her father. Now, her hands stained with the blood of friends she tries to destroy the world wile Beastboy tried to save her." It shall be called:
The Darkness of a Broken Heart
I hope I will see all of you at both sequels. P.s. I shall be taking a short break to build up a surplus of chapters before I start posting the new stories…. Till then. C'yah.
Eternal Loss
PLEASE READ & REVIEW