IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

All of my Harry Potter/Hiccup Haddock FanFics have been removed by the website, without any beforehand knowledge. Optimums524's version is gone too. I hope to find a place to restore my story, but for now you have my sincerest apologies.

Update: All future stories will now be hosted on the fan-run site Archive Of Our Own. I'll still be on this website, but mostly as a reader/helper. If you want to read any of my future works, please head there. My screen-name is Chasingstardust22. Otherwise, this is hopelessromantic4life, signing out.

*bring* *bring* Hello, I am currently out of my mind; please leave a message after the beep.

Current titles on AO3:

Book One: The Philosopher's Stone (completed)

Book Two: The Chamber of Secrets (completed)

Book Three: The Prisoners of Azkaban (completed)

Book Four: The Goblet of Fire (current)

Song of the Fallen (Original story, current)

The Other Side Series (Current)

Upcoming titles on AO3:

Book Five: The Order of the Night Fury

Book Six: The Half-blood Prince

Book Seven: The Deathly Hallows

I won't be labeled as average- Rachael Joy Scott

"Feminism is the idea that we can make both sexes equal by focusing solely on the issues of one of them,"- TJ Kirk

"Too big to fail? That's like saying too fat to diet!"- Robin Williams.

My friends:

The Royal Queen of Awesomeness ( Love ya, twinsie!)
killavals (One of my best readers)
James S-310 (Scary yet cool. Keep doing what you do, dude!)
Hades's reaper princess Marshy (Her famous quote: WHO SAYS CAT'S CAN'T HAVE WAFFLES?!?)
InsanePsychopath (Don't let the name fool you; she is just plain awesome!)
Azure Ocean22 (Fun to be around. We serve as each other's sound boards and editors)
SapphireWolf97 (Sweet as sugar, even if she only responses once or twice a day :P)
Rio storm (Great encouragement whenever they response)
Gloxinia (Fan of HTTYD and other parts of the franchise. Awesomeness)
Skyrela the Angel (An angel, as her name implies)
SoupSofia (A dear friend of mine, even if our shippings are different)
MemoriesOf-Destiny/Hydrax'Book (Is writing a story that I once asked them for, long before I became a creative writer)
RAIKIM4everlover (Wrote the classic story "Maya's Fear", which is still my favorite FanFic of all time)
HikaKaoTamaKyo (One of the few that I have actually met in real life. Cubed blood, my friend; cubed blood)
Sundae Girl (Nice and kind, though I haven't spoken to her in awhile)
algazwani.m (Hasn't written any stories yet, but she'll get there!)
Narutofanninja2 (A very good real-life friend of mine, who reminded me that I forgot to put her on this list)

(this list is in no specific order)

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. Poor souls. Well, if you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienal, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, Daughter of a Renegade, Littlewhisker, Snowdancer56, MoonAquaAngel, warriorfreak, jasminesolo, Protector of Canon2, (this goes for all of us) TheThroppSistersandCompany, muffinlover101, AmaraBellaGirl, Little Christian, BML1997, aleixia1012, AkariWarriorofSoul, LaurenJr, hoplessromantic4life

Hey. Hey, you there. The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.

I am the girl ... that does go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book or write (Only when I get bored). I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. (I am not normal) I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face (I enjoy being called weird). I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year (I have, but the guys just creep me out). I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. (And makes mud pies!)

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (If anything I'm surprised that they haven't already noticed), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with written words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, Brokenwolf13, Bookworm700, Sparteen, GothicShadowPhantom, PsychoticNari, KP100, EmberMclain13, GhostDog401, Turkeyhead987, YoDog41, little miss BANANNA HEAD, RoseZemlya'sFavoriteFan, LaurenJr,hopelessromantic4life

Fanfiction Terminology:

OC- Own Character-A character you invent

OOC- Out Of Character-When an existing character's personality is a little bit off from how they're normally shown

POV- Point Of View-First person, third person, et cetera

OTP- One True Pairing-One ship that is your absolute favorite and you wholeheartedly support (I have way too many of these)

R&R-Read And Review-Self-explanatory

F&F-Favorite and Follow-Also self-explanatory

PM-Private Message-Used to message other authors/readers/fanfictoners

HIATUS-A story put on pause until further notice

i.e/f.e-in example, for example-not Fanfiction-specific terms, but helpful to know

Canon-The events of a book or movie or other such fandom as they are told with the ships given by the author(s)-opposite of Fanon

Fanon- What is widely accepted by the populous but never officially declared-can also be used to describe anything that changes some portion of a fandom's plot-opposite of canon

Flame-A hateful review meant more to put someone down then to help them improve. I.e, saying "You're story is stupid and everything's spelled wrong!" over "You may want to spell-check your stories more." NOT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

Mary Su/Gary Stu-A 'perfect' character that can do no wrong, always gets the guy/girl, enemies always either die or 'see the light'. TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS!!!

The following are on actual labels of consumer goods, 'cause some people are idiots:

Sear's Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (When else would I have time to dry my hair?)

Frito's!: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details in side. (The shoplifter's special!)

Dial Soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

Swanson Frozen Dinners: Serving Suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion)

Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert (printed on the bottom of the box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)

Mark's and Spencer's Bread Pudding: Caution! Product will be hot after heating! (Gee, no dip, Sherlock)

Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But it saves so much time!... Whose body?)

Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery while after taking this medication. (Yeah. We could really reduce construction accidents by getting sick 5-year-olds off forklifts and out of cars.)

Nytol Sleep Aid: Product may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

Christmas Lights: Indoor and Outdoor use only. (As opposed to space?)

Japanese Food Processor: Not for the other use. (Anyone wanna help me out with this one? Now I'm curious...)

Sunsbury Peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (But no peas?)

Kid's Superman Costume: Product does not enable flight. (Parents, I blame you.)

Swedish Chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. (Alright, raise your hand if you tried that... Oh, wait. Hehehe, never mind)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On artificial bacon:"Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no, we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

The prince fought valiantly.

He slayed the dragon.

The princess cried for days.

She loved that dragon.

—The stories fairy-tales don't tell

Keep calm and be like me.

Dear MATH, stop asking me to find your X cause she's not coming back.

I'm not a NERD, I'm just smarter than you.

Trying to keep a straight face in a serious situation- and failing miserably.

I live in my own little world. But that's okay; they know me there as a queen.

If you can't convince them, confuse them (MY PLEASURE!)

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Don't make me mad... I'm known to bite at random (I don't bite, but I should warn you; I have claws)

Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I didn't invent sarcasm, I perfected it.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em.

If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.

If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

If you can't kill 'em, well then you're screwed.

Smile. It scares people.

What does not kill me had better run pretty darn fast!

Yeah, I'm crazy, it runs in the family, what's your excuse?

There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives

I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away

If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry. If you jump out a window, however, I will only laugh harder.

If it starts actually raining cats and dogs, don't go outside. Just stay on a covered porch and grab any that come close enough.

My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it

Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason!

Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly

The Horrified look on the cashiers face: PRICELESS!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed; Proceed With Caution."... Excuse me while I go make one.

I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice

I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?! (I swear, I sit at a table with future criminals)

I am so talented I can fall up the stairs, trip on flat surfaces, and get hit by a parked car. Aren't I just amazing? :)

sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say 'YOU'RE IT!!' and then run away

The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

Even if the voices aren't real, they usually have some really good ideas

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary

Sarcastic?! ME?! Never!

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me.

Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends (and boy/girl friends) already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Sarcasm is not a free service I offer...It's a personality trait, and it costs one dollar.

I'm smiling. That alone should scare you.

Growing OLD is mandatory, growing UP is optional.

What you're looking for is always in the last place you look..." Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!"

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird

The voices and I took a vote, and your insane. Welcome to the club!

(On a T-Shirt) Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt? (I want one)

Normal people worry me.

I just got lost in thought. I don't know how, because I know my way around better than I know my own route to school. Must've taken a wrong turn...

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

I'm that type of girl who walks into chairs and says sorry before actually looking up

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

"If all your friends were jumping off a cliff would you jump off too?" -- "If it meant that I would never hear that stupid cliche again I would be first in line."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

It's okay to talk to inanimate objects, its when they talk back that you should be worried

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk; I have a work station...

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

A friend of mine has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Can February March? No, but April May.

Where do you drown a hipster? The Mainstream.

What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.

When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison!

I gave my dead batteries away, free of charge!

If you can think of a better fish joke, Le minnow.

Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?

I went on a once in a lifetime vacation. Never again.

Shout out to people who want to know the opposite of in.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge pulse!

This is your captain speaking. AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!

Velcro is a complete rip off.

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

Don't you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places, she told me to stop going there.

A friend is a person that knows you are a good egg, even though you're slightly cracked.

Have you noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anybody driving faster is a maniac?

I can insult my best friend, but heaven help you if you do.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey: I don't live to please you!

When you're angry, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the person who made you mad.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away, and you've got his shoes.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking so good either.

I'm sorry, yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look to impressed.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

I ran into my ex the other day...then I put it in reverse and hit him again!!

I missed my brother...but my aim is improving!

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

Nine of the ten voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is... undecided.

I’m an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Never do anything that you don’t want to explain to the cops/paramedics.

Some people are like lava lamps. Fun to look at but not very bright.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs., and your Grandpa by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and your Grandpa GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME! LET’S DO IT AGAIN!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried . . . just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your crap and tell you, "My bad . . . Here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' butts that left you.

FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door to see if your home.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the ones messing with your compass, stealing your map, and giving you bad directions.

FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive.
BEST FRIEND: Will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will watch your pets when you go away.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let you go away.

FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because he/she tripped you, then sit on your back so that you can't get back up.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with you.

FRIENDS: Ask you for your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask you for his/her number.

FRIENDS: Will hide you from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: are probably the reason they are after you in the first place...

FRIENDS: let you make an idiot of yourself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: are up there with you making an idiot out of himself/herself too

Friends: Don't have this on their profiles.
Best Friends: Must have this on their profile.

8 of every 10 teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this in your profile.

Do you know that the average American reads only three books a year? If you believe that it's not possible to read so little, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the media is just a mob of gossipers who want attention, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you often change topic really randomly... ooh! A muffin!

If you have seen a movie so many times that you have memorized almost all of the lines, and you STILL laugh at EVERY punch line, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you’re part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, copy this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy into your profile, copy this into your profile. (I have no shame...)

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself and/or someone else, copy this into your profile.

EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this on to your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium; my work here is done.

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN . . . ?
Getting HIGH meant SWINGING at a playground?
The WORST THING you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
MUM was your hero?
And DAD was the boy you were going to MARRY? (Or vice versa, we don't judge here)
When your WORST ENEMIES were your SIBLINGS?
And RACE ISSUES were about who RAN fastest?
When WAR was a CARD game?
And life was SIMPLE and CARE FREE?
REMEMBER WHEN ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WAS GROW UP?

Put this in your profile if a part of you will always stay five. . . NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU GET!

It is only fair to warn you that I am practiced in the ancient art of origami. Beware my paper swan.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? (if so, I'm so sorry)

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely. (My life in a nutshell)

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. (Do you get it?)

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. Or your discord...

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... I'm sorry that made no sense, even to me...

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that, my children, is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

Can't stand me? Then sit down.

To Every Guy...

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours
just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared
through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy
even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you...

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...
i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image
If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

What disease did cured ham have?

Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every hour and a half?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Friends will say, "You deserve better!" But a best friend will prank call him saying, "You're gonna die in seven days!"

Best friends, it’s who we are . . . instead of saying "excuse me" we push each other out of the way and say "move". We hug each other and laugh at any random moment. We argue about the stupidest things then we find out we were both wrong.

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

How come you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat,
only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours,
instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize..
I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it,
I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough guts to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

98% of teens would die if Robert Patterson was standing on the top of the Empire state building, ready to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are part of the 2% who would be sitting in a lawn chair, eating popcorn, and yelling "Do a flip!" (Sorry Rob)

95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber went missing: Paste this on your profile if you're one of the 5% who would smile and poke your new prisoner with a stick (Not sorry)

TWILIGHT SAGA SUCKS! (pun fully intended)

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MUAHAHAHAA . . . ha . . . ha . . . Oooh! look, something shiny!

I'm no Angel, just an innocent Devil.

One day, your Prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Parents spend the first two years of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, and then spend the next sixteen telling us to sit down and shut-up!(Not mine)

Evening News begins with "Good Evening," then proceeds to tell you why it isn't. (Same with the morning news...)

One night, I lay in bed, looking up at the stars, and thought, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

"Officer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God!" "I should hope not, sir"

I did what they said and chose the road less traveled . . . Now where the heck am I?

I'm not clumsy . . . the floor just hates me.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive. NOM NOM NOM!

Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live. (And read my books...Please)

Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.

Some people never go crazy. Oh, what truly horrible lives they must lead.

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.

Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind. And he lived happily ever after.

To paraphrase several sages: Nobody can think and hit someone at the same time.

Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.

Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things probably aren't. I'm not really surprised some people prefer books.

They say life is always either a tightrope or a feather bed. In that case, give me the tightrope.

To banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality.

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have your nonsense respected.

Genius is nothing more nor less than childhood recaptured at will.

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these quotes... Well, I own the first one)

Other than that:

I'm on AO3 if you need me.