Woo! Gravity Falls fanfic! I'm gonna write it like a person! *smashes face on keyboard*

Prologue

Autumn came very early to Gravity Falls.

The rains came in late August – nearly every day, the small town could expect rainfall. The temperature dropped sharply and the winds picked up. The world around Gravity Falls seemed to fix into a canvas of dull greys and browns.

It matched the general mood.

Summer was coming to a close. In a matter of days, the schools would reopen and the yearly tourist trade would dry up. The weather would get progressively worse, and soon the time would come to prepare for winter. The people of Gravity Falls weren't looking forward to it – winters could be harsh in Oregon. There was also an prevailing sense that autumn just wasn't as cheerful as summer.

But there was something else in the air, something everyone could feel but nobody could quite explain. It was a cold, ethereal feeling that came in bursts and chilled one to the bone, and it evoked a faint sense of dread. It was if something strange and terrible were about to happen.

Which it was.

It was on a wet morning – the first day of September, a Saturday – when he came to see Old Man McGucket.

The crazed old man was sheltering under a box in the dump he called home, eating from a can of beans while muttering to himself. It was just another day in the life of this unhinged and lonely old prospector; spent living on scraps and rubbish, harassing the people of Gravity Falls and most of all, tinkering. McGucket liked tinkering.

As he finished his can, discarding it by throwing it off into the dump, he felt a strange wind pick up. The world around him seemed to get greyer.

"Heeeeeey! McGucket, old pal, how ya doin'?"

McGucket peered out from his box as a blue vortex shimmered into view in front of him. The form of a large yellow triangle being, adorned with a top hat and stringy black limbs, emerged from the vortex, a single eye with a narrow, cat-like pupil his only facial feature.

McGucket scratched his head.

"Hey, I 'member you!" he exclaimed in his raspy voice, "I'm gonna have yer name in a second...uh...it's...um...Ben, isn't it?"

The triangle rolled his eye.

"Really, McGucket?" he scoffed, "All we've been through and you can't even remember my name? That's just disappointing!"

"No, wait up, I got it!" said McGucket, snapping his fingers, "Bill! Bill Cipher!"

A dinging sound rang out from nowhere as Bill's eye seemed to light up.

"Ya got it! Good job!" he exclaimed, "Five points to the crazy old guy!"

He slow-clapped before floating down towards McGucket. He seemed to change size slightly, scaling down to about the size of McGucket's head.

"So I was in the neighbourhood, McGucket, and I was wondering," shrugged Bill, "Ya remember ol' six-fingers, right? Our mutual friend? Y'know, the paranoid one!"

"Rings a bell," nodded McGucket.

"Well, if I recall correctly – and I do – he gave ya something, didn't he?" continued Bill, "Some kinda book. Ya know what I mean, right?"

McGucket scratched his chin. A light seemed to turn on in his eyes.

"The journals," he replied, "Y'all talkin' bout them journals!"

"Ooh! Old man's getting practically lucid here!" exclaimed Bill, clapping his hands together, "But no, I'm not talkin' about the journals. Ya know what I'm talkin' about, McGucket."

McGucket crossed his arms.

"And what makes you think I still have his letter?" he asked, surprisingly seriously.

"Oh, I know ya don't have it anymore, McGucket," replied Bill, "But I've got a hunch you know who has it? So who'd ya give it to? It's not Mackerel, is it? Why would ya give it to him? He'd just sell it..."

McGucket snorted.

"I sent it somewhere you'll never find it, Bill," he replied, "Somewhere far, far away from Gravity..."

"You gave it to Pine Tree, didn't cha?"

"E-yup!" replied McGucket, grinning widely.

"How'd ya even get his address?" demanded Bill, "I mean, he lives in...what's that one at the bottom right? Is it Mexico? I think it's Mexico..."

"I have my ways," shrugged McGucket, "And it don't matter! I have the address right here!" he pointed at his head, "And you ain't never gonna get it, y'hear? Never!"

He began to laugh wildly. Bill narrowed his eye.

"Challenge accepted, ya crazy old coot," he snapped.

He suddenly glowed blue and flew right into McGucket's head. The old man clutched his head as his eyes shone a brilliant, pupil-less blue. He fell to his knees – an ear-piercing scream filled the air.

Slowly, the screaming subsided, and McGucket's eyes stopped glowing. He fell face-first into the dirt, out cold. With a flash, Bill appeared above him.

"Whew! Well, if he wasn't insane before, he certainly is now!" exclaimed Bill, "Let's see what we got here..."

An envelope appeared in front of him, an address written on the front.

DIPPER PINES
233 RENZETTI AVE
PIEDMONT, CALIFORNIA

"There we go!" exclaimed Bill, "Wow, I never been to California!"

He narrowed his eye.

"Well, Pine Tree, looks like we're gonna have some fun," he chuckled, "Better call up some old friends, make a party of it. The kid can be the piñata!"

He crossed his arms.

"Kinda a shame, actually," he shrugged, "The kid sorta grew on me. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do to get stuff done..."

He glanced over to McGucket's unconscious form.

"...and I gotta break Pine Tree even worse then you broke yourself, McGucket."

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