I have lost the will to update (no tiiiiiiiiiime)...it is unlikely it will return I'm afraid. We'll see.

Does anyone get annoyed by these adverts over here?

- And does anyone like tha' picture over here?

Hey everybody! Squibakou here, this is me:

Name- Wouldn't you like to know? Just call me Squibakou. I own all vowels except for 'e' . I even own 'u' twice... You may also call me Squibby if you are allergic to anything over 2 syllables.

Gender- Guess. Go on guess. Hah! You can't can you. Can you? Am I that obvious? Whoops.

Age- I'm in the prime of my teenagerhood; spots, greasy hair, constant attacks of the madbrain syndrome etc. I'M WORKING ON IT, ALRIGHT?

Habitat- Behind the keyboard, in the kitchen, in Scotland, in Britain, in the world, in the universe, in a paper weight, on a desk, under a keyboard, infront of me. (that's my theory anyway)

Origin- I'm Scottish/American-ish but it appears I have relatives in every bloody corner of the earth so I can't be sure. I was born in Scotland anyway.

I like Harry Potter fics(and the books, but I like the fics more), Discworld fics (I prefer the books though. And anything ever written by Terry Prattchet -bow down- ), Fruits basket, Pet shop of Horrors, Inuyasha, Naruto, Ranma, Chobits and anything funny or manga...or anime...or fanfiction(mostly). I also like slash fics (but not femslash), yaoi, shounen ai, whateva you want to call them because they scare me and make me laugh (try 'Harry Potter and the Obvious Solution', it is without a doubt the funniest and SCARIEST fic I have ever read#). I am partial to HP slashys and cannot abide messing about with manga boys unless it's really, really well done. Grrrrr...

My fave pairings are: Harry/Draco, Harry/Ron, Draco/Ron,Remus/Sirius, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Luna, Filch/Mrs Norris, Snape/whomping willow, Hogwarts/Dumbldore, plodernweoopintsquiffduckblep. (Please refer to the part of this profile that says I suffer from 'constant attacks of madbrain syndrome'.)

I also like other things (obviously. For example; putting things in (((((((((brackets))))))))))...erm) but I can't be bothered telling you guys about that stuff because I am getting tired (it is in fact 11:23pm). I dislike revolting pairings, NEDs (or chavs, or idiots, or morons, or whatever you wanna call them), annoying siblings and the meagre manga section at the library.

RandomPoem-(this is by a Harvard Mathamatics Professer called Tom Lehrer- not kidding)

I hold your hand in mine, dear,

I press it to my lips.

I take a healthy bite from,

Your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear,

If you were only here.

But I'll hold your hand in mine

As a precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off,

I really don't know why.

'Cause every time I kiss it,

I get bloodstains on my tie.

I'm sorry now I killed you,

Our love was something fine.

So until they come to get me,

I'll hold your hand in mine.

Quotes: (I'm searching for more, be patient)

TORNADO THROUGH CEMETERY. HUNDREDS DEAD. (some newspaper headline) - I found this on 'fantasyfinder06's' profile, I hope she doesn't mind that I used it.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile. - (allieweasley's profile contained this and I thought the economical and socialogical value of it should be spread throughout fandom. SO DO WHAT IT SAYS YOU DUMBASSES (I didn't mean that).

( )_( ) (")_(") (Found this on a random profile, it's not really a quote. It is, in fact, a bunny.)

You have won a gaily-coloured satin and cheese Smedley with bifurcated dial function and froggish hoopla device. (Something my dad said to me one day. Why?!)

Disclaimer- I have decided to put a blanket disclaimer over all my (possible future) stories just in case I forget to put disclaimers on my updates. I DO NOT OWN SQUIDDLY. I OWN ONLY PLOTS (this statement could be slightly questionable, sometimes plots might be similar) AND STRANGE NEW CHARACTERS (they WILL be strange). DO NOT DOUBT ME.

Please (+ icing, sugar lumps, cherries, sprinkles and anything cavity inducing that you can think of) read and review my stories and I will respond by R&R ing yours -it is a vicious circle- if you must be mean please be constructively so, I am open to suggestions.

Look out for N.James The Diehard DishRag and Elia_Black cat and our threesome pen name CrazyRandomPeopleThatStalkYou. They rule.

This is Squibakou signing out.

I have signed out.

No I haven't.

I will I promise.

I'm going now.

Goodbye.

Bye.

-blip-

!BANG!

hjdfghjdfghdfjghdfjuguiy8qoweuv

Alright, so I lied. Sue me.

# this isn't exactly a slashy but it's uber funny so read it. Now.

Read this once you read HP + Obv. Sol.- It made you laugh so much your brains slopped out your ears and all over the floor didn't it? What scared you more: the fic or the brains? If it was the brains you have no sense of humour.

Frequently updated notes here:

-I'd just like to say that, as a newbie (I'm not so new now really, but the sentence still applies), I am not very good with working this thing so if there are any strange happenings going on with my updates I will attempt to rectify them (failure is immanent). Help is appreciated if you spot any faults. (20th Sep. 06)

-How do you put in dividing lines, by the way? ( 27th Sep. 06)- I REALLY want to know. REALLY REALLY, NO-ONE HAS TOLD ME YET!!

-My policy is that if I read it, I review it. Good or bad. Please take a leaf out of my book because I really do appreciate it. (30th Sep.06)

-Frogs make me laugh. (06th Oct.06)

-I don't like 'Morph' at all anymore. I think I might just add a chapter or two and then leave it at that. Or I might just stop, or remove it. What do you think I should do? (16th Oct. 06) addition- Morph is now done, last chapter is very short, and explains what goes on in my head, if you're interested. I still might change it if I come up with something better. (1st Nov. 06)

-TALK TO ME ON MY FORUMS! (THEY'RE AT THE TOP) the teachers' lounge one is HP, by the way. (19th Oct. 06)

-Read my friend's stuff, we're all fans of getting reviews. (21st Oct. 06)

-Are really long profiles offputting? Press the 'hide profile' button, if you think so - although, if you're reading this then you probably think long profiles are OK...hmmmmm, I'm confused. (09th Nov.06)

-My 'Mind: the Gap' fic has been deleted from my computer (apart from ch. 1), so I've taken it off and will re-write it. Possibly. If I can get over the shock. And remember the entire plot. In the meantime, I'm working on a Julius Caesar (Shakespeare) spoof. Vair funny, if I do say so myself. READ IT. (07th Dec. 06)- Mind the gap is baaaack. Now.

-I have a lot of favourite authors and fics. They are all on my alerts list. I get a lot of mail. (16th Dec. 06)

-I was going to do a Christmas fic, but I wrote half of it, then forgot about it! Ah well. (25th Dec. 06)

-HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I resolve to update more often, before I am forever wracked with guilt. (01st Jan. 07 - weird to write that)

-Isn't it weird that you can give out several hundred reviews and get about 30 back? Or is it just me? (06 Jan. 07) I appear to gripe a lot about this...

-I have. Exactly. 100 fics on my favourites list. I love everybody!! And I've reviewed over 300 stories. Hugs for fabulous writers of fandom, I love you all. (08 Jan. 07)

- I, Squibakou, swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the Review Revolution. (03 June 07) Join now by going on sunny tuesday's (aka, chipped purple nailpolish) profile and clicking on the link. (This is how I did it, also try the Reviews Lounge, and Lexie-H's profile)

- I feel weird not doing drabbles anymore...darnit, and they were so annoying at the time! I miss them. (05 July 07)

-I haven't updated in yonks, but my exams are almost (just got art practical left) finished, so I MAY return, despite my busy social life. Shut up. (13 Dec. 07)- Oh! Merry almost Christmas to ye all, have fun duckies :kisses:

-as you can see from the message at the top, I have reverted to manic reading and lost my muse. For now. Soz. (25 Jan. 08- fun to say)

-I have just had an epiphany. I have decided I'm going to write a HP fic for every genre. I do realise that it could take some time, but I want to try. Some will be oneshots and some could be long and epic tales (whatsit). Most will probably be inbetween. Here's the checklist so far:

General: Dear Ron (complete)

Romance?

Humour: Morph (complete, could be updated in future)

Drama: Mind: The Gap (in progress)

Poetry: HP and the Many-Sues (complete)

Action/Adventure?

Mystery?

Horror?

Parody: HP and the Many-Sues (complete)

Angst: Gates of the Promised Land (complete)

Supernatural?

Suspense: Anti Gravity Cliff Drabbling (in progress)

Sci-Fi?

Fantasy?

Spiritual: Refractions of Ron (complete)

Tragedy: Gates of the Promised Land (complete)

Hurt/Comfort?

Crime?

Family?

Friendship?

Western?

Some are quite similar, aren't they? Maybe I should combine some, we'll see how I feel at the time.(Turns out I felt I should combine some) This self challenge is only for HP, I will probably write other fanfics for other things (if inspiration deems me worthy). (02nd Oct.06)- Good god. New genres everywhere! What the hell am I supposed to do for western?

Query- Does writing this stuff count as still being here?

It does doesn't it?

I should go now.

My mother is informing me that I should get off the computer.

I AM trying mother.

You do not need to hear about my mother.

You do not need to hear about anything from me at all. By rights I shouldn't even be here.

I am NOT going to continue.

You don't believe me do you?

Check out the lack of continuation.