Merry Christmas

The Three-eyed Bull hadn't ever been as loud as it was that Christmas Day.

"And then, and then, right," Shippou was explaining, laughing almost too hard to tell the story, "he wound down his window and stuck his head out and the last thing we heard as they took off was this trailing cry of 'I want my laaawwyeeeeerrr...' "

Royakan, Ginta and Hakkaku all roared with laughter. Once the noise had subsided somewhat, Shippou continued, "And you'll never guess where they put him, when they got to Sunset..."

"Where?" asked Royakan, drying tears of laughter out of his eyes.

"They claimed their cells were all full so they put him in the women's block, right next to Kikyo Higurashi! She spent the entire night alternating between whispered death threats and loud, detailed descriptions of his performance in bed that had the rest of the cell block rolling with laughter – the guards said he was half hysterical when they came to get him moved this morning!"

"Will you tell them to keep it down a little bit?" asked Toto-sai as he brought Sesshoumaru his beer, indicating Ginta who was now bent over double, pounding the table with his fist. "I'll get complaints from the neighbours if they keep this up."

"Come on, you can't blame them," smiled Sesshoumaru. "We've spent half a year on this guy. Shippou's broken into enough computers to earn him life, Royakan has been all over USA gathering witness statements and the Nerds... actually, they've mostly played computer games and watched movies. But the point is, most of us have worked hard, and now we want to celebrate."

"As long as you talk to the neighbours," said Toto-sai darkly, but shrugged. "Oh well. Keep buying beer and I'm happy."

"Trust me, there's going to be a lot of beer bought here tonight." He grinned at the wizened barkeep, and turned towards the colleague on his right, who was looking into his beer glass with a sulky expression. "Hiten, why this scowling face? Aren't you happy?"

"Someone's been filching out of my stash," said Hiten, glancing around to ensure that his brother wasn't nearby. "It's almost empty. When I find out who it is..."

Kagura, who was sitting opposite them, rested her chin in her hand, looked the other way and whistled innocently.

"Why do you even have a cookie stash at the office?" asked Sesshoumaru, reflecting not for the first time that with all the assorted addictions the agency members had, he didn't even need drugs to make his day an endless discussion of withdrawal symptoms and secret hoards. There was The Matrix and coffee – oh, the coffee – and Hiten's ridiculous stash, even more so because every YSA member (excepting Manten) knew exactly where it was... "Every once in a while Spiderman gets hold of some and you know what sugar does to him."

"I can't keep cookies at home," Hiten snapped, looking annoyed that Sesshoumaru didn't understand. "Manten is way past his reccomended weight as it is, and he has a terrible sweet tooth..."

While his health was being thus pondered, Manten was busy discussing someone else's life.

"They've been sitting there for the last half hour, all quiet like," he said.

"Uh-huh, but he hasn't taken her hand yet," snorted Jaken. "Needs to learn how to handle women, really..."

Spiderman indicated, in nods and grimaces and gestures, that the subject of their discussion was a coward and a spineless sissy and had stupid hair to boot.

"If I were him I'd just reach over and give her a kiss," piped up the the tinny, tiny voice of Myoga.

"You wouldn't reach," said Jaken, brutal but honest.

…………………………………

Unknowingly part of this conversation, Koga and Ayame were sitting opposite each other at a small table some way off from the rest of the party. Koga had indeed not yet tried to take her hand, because he wasn't sure she wouldn't pull away.

"So Sesshoumaru came to get me this morning," smiled Ayame. "It didn't exactly make him popular among the plods, believe me. They wanted to keep me until I was proven innocent, but he bullied them into letting me go. They told him that Naraku can't be blamed for everything that goes wrong in this country, you know, and just because the guy has been caught doesn't mean every single crime is solved. He told them no, but very nearly. Finally they agreed to let me leave as long as Sesshoumaru promised to keep an eye on me and stop me if I looked like I was planning to leave the country or something. So I guess I'll have to postpone that holiday to Italy I was planning." She rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"I'm really happy you're out," grinned Koga. "So how's Sesshoumaru planning to explain away your fingerprints in the camera room?"

"It's only a partial, and he's hoping they'll forget about it once Tsubaki pleads guilty."

"They need evidence against her, too."

"He has his own nose evidence. He smelled her at the bank, and he'll be doing an identity parade – "

" – sniffade – "

" – that's not a word."

"You know what I mean."

"Anyway, he'll be doing a... sniffade... tomorrow to identify her. Also, he's offered to hand the security tapes over to the YSA expert, to see if there is any information to be got from it."

"The expert... that'll be Shippou. Will he be able to get something from it?"

"You kidding?" Ayame smiled. "Credit me with some workmanship, Koga. No one could glean anything from that tape."

"But then..."

"No one except me. The police don't have to know who did the actual work, do they? I'll do my best. Hopefully that'll be enough."

Koga looked at her, leaned his head in his hand. "I was really worried about you," he said.

"Thanks." Ayame smiled, but looked uncertain. "Look, Koga, about you and me... I'm sorry. I'm not sure that you'll understand, but..."

"I do."

"You don't even know what I'm talking about!"

"Yes, I do." Koga smiled, too, rather sadly. "I may not be a clever little bugger like Shippou or a slick intelligent one like Sessoumaru, but I'm not completely bloody stupid, you know. I've known all along you were acting, at least a little – wanting to make me believe we could be back to what we were before. I know why, too. You wanted the YSA to help you, and you thought we were more likely to if there was a chance you'd be the future Mrs YSA – in a manner of speaking."

"I – " Ayame began, then bit her lip and looked away, her expression deeply unhappy. "I'm really sorry."

"I don't care." Koga spoke abruptly, then winced. "I mean, not like that – that sounded unpleasant – I care about you being sorry and all, of course, but... what I meant is... I don't care about why you pretended to like me again, or even that you pretended to like me again. Because I've known all along you were doing it on purpose, but still... I really do like you. I'm sorry about all that happened last time, and I'm sorry about how stupid it all became... and I would really like, if you want to... um... this is going to sound corny, but try again? I mean, I don't know if you feel the same way or anything, and maybe you already have a boyfriend – I mean, why wouldn't you? But..."

"I'd love to," said Ayame. She was smiling now, and her eyes were suspiciously shiny. "I still have to teach you to finish your sentences, after all..."

And now Koga did take her hand.

…………………………………

"To Naraku!"

"To Naraku!"

"To a guy who has thwarted us at every turn and driven us half insane sometimes!"

"To him, yeah!"

"Without him we wouldn't have had half as fun this year!"

"I'm not too sure about that, but never mind!"

"They're certainly going at it," Kagura remarked, watching Royakan and The Nerds raising their glasses to the ceiling. "I can't wait to be making movies with those two..."

"You're going to do it, then?" asked Sesshoumaru, raising his eyebrows. She shrugged.

"Renovation can't get started until after New Year's anyway, since all the workmen are on holiday. It'll be some time until the restaurant is up and running again."

"So how are you managing?"

"It's alright." She shrugged again. "Both me and Goshinki have got a bit put by since our Spider Club days. So now we're just enjoying the first holiday we've had since we got the place started. We've been living on coffee and nerves, basically, for the last couple of months. Mostly nerves. Mostly each other's nerves."

Goshinki, who was passing with drinks, frowned suddenly and whumped her head. "At least bother with a tiny mind block if you're going to be thinking things about what a bastard I am early in the morning!"

"Ah, but doesn't it warm your heart that I'm so completely open with you that I don't bother to hide my thoughts even while I'm being mean about you?" smiled Kagura.

"Smart-arse." Goshinki ruffled her hair affectionately and moved on.

"He's looking out-of-the-ordinary happy today, by the way," Hiten commented. Kagura shrugged, for the third time.

"I gave him Global knives for Christmas."

"And what did he give you?"

"Fifteen full-size posters of Orlando Bloom," said Kagura happily, full of glee.

"Oh. How... nice?"

"Smashing. I use them for dart boards. Hey, Shippou!"

"Hey." Shippou dropped into the seat opposite her, laughing. "Gods, could you wish for a more perfect Christmas Day? It's even snowing!"

"Fuck," said Sesshoumaru, a statement that did not tally with Shippou's. "The car." He rose and hurried out of the pub, leaving Kagura staring after him in a faintly puzzled fashion.

"Must have left the roof off," suggested Hiten. "I don't know what it is with that family and transport systems – Inu-yasha kisses his motorcycle good night and rather than take someone to a drive-in in his car, Sesshoumaru is more likely to go to a drive-in with his car. I'm sure it's not healthy." He shook his head sadly, and looked at Shippou. "So you got tired of the Nerds?"

"More like I value my life." Shippou smiled and jerked his head towards the table he'd left; Hakkaku was walking up and down on it, on his hands. "They're playing their Matrix Trivial Pursuit. When you answer a question wrong you have to remove a hand from the table."

Kagura looked over at the wolf demons, frowning. "But that means he'll only have to give a wrong answer twice and he'll crash head-first into the table!"

"From their point of view, that's three times too many."

"Three?"

"Look, they aren't exactly logical when it comes to The Matrix."

Royakan joined them, grinning ear to ear. "Want to bet how long before one of them breaks his nose? I'm guessing thirty minutes, at the outside. Aw, Shippou... what are you glaring at me like that for? When you have close on thirty kids, you have to learn being callous about minor injuries."

"You'll turn into Naraku Jr if you're not careful."

"Don't give me that lecturing attitude – it's Christmas!" Royakan slapped his back enthusiastically, and ignored the fact that he had just effectively winded the younger man. "Get into the spirit! Drink some mead! Sing something jolly! Go off and buy a sprig of mistletoe, and then corner some unsuspecting girl! God knows that you need it. I mean, the last time I heard you mention you'd even talked to a girl was when you'd called my house and gotten hold of my daughter!"

He laughed. So did Shippou (slightly hysterically).

Sesshoumaru chose that moment to reappear and, correctly assessing the situation, mentioned that Manten appeared to have started a heated argument about cyber nannies. This gave Shippou an excuse to remove himself, and also got rid of Hiten who naturally flew to his brother's rescue, ready to back him up in whatever assertion he might make. (Not literally flew, though. Last time the brothers had flown in the bar Toto-sai had banned them from buying drinks for two months. They were still getting over it.)

Sesshoumaru sank down in Shippou's vacated chair with a sigh.

"Your baby alright?" asked Kagura, sarcastically.

"Thankfully, yes," replied Sesshoumaru, not noticing the tone, and turned towards his colleague. "So, Royakan. When are you planning on telling Shippou you've known about him and Kit for the last four months?"

Royakan started. He then tried, and failed, to summon up an innocent expression.

"It won't work. I already know you're a sadistic bastard."

Royakan gave up. "I've had so much fun," he said sadly. "But now I suppose you'll make me put him out of his misery?"

"He's a seventeen-year-old boy, just fallen in love. I don't think you need to make that situation any more full of anxiety than it already is." Sesshoumaru looked suspiciously at the other man. "You were planning to tell him anyway, weren't you?"

"Huh? Oh, yes! Of course, of course," said Royakan, a little too quickly. "Anything else would be cruel and I am not at all a cruel person. How about I break the news at New Year's? The sound of the fireworks can block out my roars of laughter."

"Thoughtful." Sesshoumaru's tone was withering. "No, tell him tonight. Make a Christmas present of it."

"I already sent him a virus-infected e-mail! Jeez, how much do you want me to give the boy? It'll spoil him rotten."

"You sent him what?" asked Kagura, incredulous.

"He loves getting them," Royakan assured her. "Shippou, you see, is the originator of most famous viruses today – the Foxy, the AlyssA and at least half of the Thyme viruses. Sending him new ones from little would-be hackers is like sending demos to Paul McCartney. Mostly, they just make him smile. Anyway, enough about viruses. Let's move on to parasites. It's quite certain that Naraku's behind bars for good now, is it?"

"Oh, yes," Sesshoumaru nodded. "We lost at least seventy or eighty percent of our own material when Kag'n'Juro had the bright idea to do a little breaking and entering, and I think it's too much to hope that we'll ever get any of it back. That means that we won't be able to charge him for the twenty-four busted casinos, the ruined record company, a few instances of blackmail or a number of other smaller cases. But none of those are among our most important points of charge, and to tell the truth I don't care very much about casinos getting what's only their due, either. And our case has been strengthened, too – by Tsubaki. She willingly turned informant when we offered to cut her sentence in exchange for the dirt. That gives us at least four very strong witnesses: Tsubaki, Kag'n'Juro, Goshinki, and you, Kagura."

"Verily, thank the gods," yawned Kagura. "That means this whole 'key witness' business can finally come to an end. I was really getting tired of it."

"And you'll be rid of Kag'n'Juro, too, the moment the trial is over," smiled Sesshoumaru. "Bit of a bonus, that."

"Kag'n'Juro?" Kagura raised her eyebrows, looking surprised. "Oh! No, he's staying on, actually. For safety, if for nothing else."

"Safety?"

"The Saimyoshi have got a contract on all of us. Naraku commissioned them ages ago, to do everyone who stepped up to witness against him in eventual trials. Thanks to Shippou breaking into their records and playing around with a few of the dates the contract runs out in four months, but we thought – just to be sure – that it was best if none of us was without the safety net of having another person nearby for now."

"You really care about him, don't you?" asked Sesshoumaru, amused. Kagura made a face.

"Don't tell anyone."

"But that's great! I take it you'll be doing some redecorating, then?" Royakan, who was currently on the prowl for winter break job opportunities for his numerous offspring, leaned forward eagerly. "The As Of Yet Undecided Room is finally going to be Decided? Just say the word if you need help with carrying, sorting or painting – I have seven or eight pairs of hands ready for labour."

"No, we're going to keep the Junkie as it is," laughed Kagura. "You could offer your kids' services to Goshinki in regards to my room, though, since that's what Kag'n'Juro will be taking over. I'm moving out."

Sesshoumaru glanced towards the bar, where Goshinki and Jinenji were seated and talking about soccer. Neither gave off the impression of even being aware of any other conversation than their own – however, Jinenji's ears had just gone rather red and Goshinki seemed to be grinning rather more than what was really merited by their discussion of the Italian judge Collina's approach to the yellow card. He looked back and raised his eyebrows, asking a question. Kagura looked at him with studied innocence. He glanced towards Jinenji again, and back again. Kagura didn't blink.

"That's nice," said Sesshoumaru, admitting defeat. No wonder she won at poker.

"Mm," smiled Kagura. "Right after I'm done with the movie, I think. It'll make a nice coming home present, plus I can get the Nerds to help out."

"I take it you're not planning to bring anything breakable with you."

"Good point. I might rope Goshinki in, too. Actually, I think I'll do that right now." She grinned at them and rose, making her way over towards the men at the bar – however, it was not Goshinki she turned to when she had drawn up a chair between them, but Jinenji. Sesshoumaru looked askance at Royakan and raised his eyebrows, smiling, before letting his gaze wander around the room and come to rest on Ayame and Koga.

"Looks like those two have patched up," said Royakan, who had evidently let his eyes follow the same path. He grinned, with only a hint of a leer.

"Inu-yasha will be happy, at least," Sesshoumaru commented. "He's always suspected Koga of trying to steal Kagome under his nose. He was probably right, too. Only Kagome wouldn't exactly have let herself be stolen, so it was a pretty irrational fear anyway. Men," he added, heavily.

"Yeah," said Royakan carefully. "Right. Anyway, about Inu-yasha and Kagome, where are they? Aren't they supposed to be here? They could've caught a plane and been here this morning."

"Ah yes." Sesshoumaru smiled. "I e-mailed them as soon as the Naraku trap was all orgnised and ready to spring, but I never received an answer. So I rang Shiori, and she said she hadn't heard from them since they called her to say the Naraku situation looked like it would be solved after all. They hadn't even been back to pick up their luggage, actually. But they had mentioned something about being promised a tour of Warsaw..."

…………………………………

Kaede read through the e-mail again.

By now you'll have learnt, it said, that Naraku has finally embezzled his last funds. If you have some spare time one day, would you mind nipping down to Sunset and snapping a picture of him to send us – preferably through the bars? We're dying to see how he's looking, these days. Did they manage to fix him up with Armani browns, do you know?

(Hah. Hah. Hah.)

We expect why you're wondering why we're not back and celebrating. You could say we're tying up loose ends. First, we spent a week in Warsaw following his offspring Muso – we wanted to make sure he hadn't inherited any traits from daddy. We followed him everywhere; to the war monuments, churches and extremely good restaurants.

Warsaw is stunning.

Next we went to Cyprus – that's where we are now – because we think that Naraku may have hidden something here.

Drugs, maybe.

Or jewels.

Whatever will make the finance department happy.

What do you want him to have hidden?

Anyway, we're planning to go to Norway next, because after all his alias Red Ipsen was from Norway, so maybe he has something going there. Besides, we hear the fjords are beautiful.

So what we're saying is, basically, can you send us some more money? We spent the last we had on a tour by horseback yesterday. (Which we went on because it was a perfect way to scout the countryside, of course.) Extended funds would really come in handy at this stage.

If it helps make up your mind, we promise to send you postcards.

Got to go! Dinner's waiting (in the most lovely little restaurant, you'd adore it). Love from,

Kagome and Inu-yasha

Kaede leaned back in her chair and smiled, slightly. What the hell. Everyone deserved a holiday, didn't they? She knew Kagome had hardly taken a day off once the trials of Kikyo were over, and Inu-yasha seemed to be a guy who took his work seriously, as well.

She thought for a bit, then typed up a rather inventive request for funds to give to the head of the finance department when she met him for coffee that afternoon. Then she turned back to her e-mail, typed and sent off a reply to Kagome saying that money was on its way, hesitated and sent off a second one telling her to have a good time. She smiled to herself again, shut the computer down and went out to lunch.

She wouldn't read Kagome's reply until that evening, which was probably lucky for the YSA agent since by then it'd be too late to retract the money request. It was a very short e-mail, short but to the point,

Thank you.

...sir.

………

The End

…………………………………

And so we come at last to THE CONCLUSION OF THE STORY! (Wow.) Once again, it feels as if I started on this just a couple of weeks ago, when in truth it's been about a year. Of course, my timing was – as I've already pointed out – screwed up. I mean, I've titled this chapter Merry Christmas and it is now September. (I suck.)

Oh well! I hope you liked this second instalment of the YSA, and I hope I haven't left any ends loose for you…;)

Speaking of nothing, I've started studying again, and by God I sometimes wonder why. (This is why it's taken me EVEN longer than usual to update. Soz.) Homework is an invention of the devil.