Hello People!

You can call me simply Ran or Random.

Alignment: True Neutral

Strength: A

Endurance: EX

Agility: 8/10

Mana: Wha-?

Luck: Failed App Installation

So I was reading someone's profile (Don't judge me, you are doing it now!) and I came across this. I found it amusing...
(If you are curious, that someone was FrivolousFlare)

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter .

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Check this out...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

(Of course spellcheck hates practically every word of this!)

Lately I have been obsessed with riddles. Here are a few to take a gander at. Answers are below.

1. Which word in the English dictionary is spelled incorrectly?

2. What gets broken without being held?

3. Forward I am heavy, backwards I am not.

4. What has one eye but cannot see?

5. Take off my skin and I will not cry--you will.

6. I am a cold man without a soul. If there is any warmth inside of me, it will slowly kill me. What am I?

7. It stalks the country side with ears that do not hear.

8. I am tall when I am young, and short when I am old.

9. They come out at night without being fetched, and lost in the day without being stolen.

10. I have keys but no locks, space but no room. You can enter, but can't go outside. What am I?

11. In a tunnel of darkness lies a beast of iron. It can only attack once pulled back. What is it?

12. I can only live where there is light, but if the light shines on me, then I die.

13. What goes up and down without moving?

14. I am a king, but also a common tool of measure.

15. Kings and queens may cling to their power, and the jester's got his call. But you'll soon discover, the common one outranks them all.

16. What makes a loud noise when it changes its jacket, becomes larger, but weighs less?

17. What kind of pet always stays on the floor?

18. What is the longest word in the dictionary?

19. It can be cracked, it can be made. It can be told, it can be played.

20. What do you throw away, but keeps coming back?

21. The more there is, the less you see.

22. What building has the most stories?

23. What belongs to you, but is used most often by others?

24. Why do dragons sleep during the day?

Answers

1. Incorrectly

2. A Promise

3. Ton

4. A needle

5. Onion

6. Snowman

7. Corn

8. A Candle

9. Stars

10. Keyboard

11. Bullet

12. A Shadow

13. A Staircase

14. A Ruler

15. Ace

16. Popcorn

17. A Carpet

18. Smiles- there's a mile between the S's

19. A Joke

20. A Boomerang

21. Darkness

22. A Library

23. Your Name

24. So they can fight (k)nights

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile! (A Smart Idiot if I may add)

Something I found in another page. It made me sad the first time I read it:

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
come back and for sure
There is more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Child abuse - MAKE IT STOP! If you dislike child abuse as much as I do, copy and paste the top poem onto your profile.