My sincere apologies to anyone who's real name is actually Joe Random. I have realized that there are people out there with that as their real name. I suppose I should have set my pen name as JoeRandomGuy or SomeRandomGuy or -- something equally random.

Also, just to be clear, this joerandom is not related to any other joerandom you may find in the wild places of the Internet. Currently, I only post on FF dot net.

WARNING: If you want to leave a hateful flaming review that is your decision. I will never delete it. Since a bit of your soul is reflected in everything you write -- well -- if your soul is that ugly and hateful then your flaming review is more embarrassing to you than to me. I will let it stand as a monument to your immaturity. So please, don't embarrass yourself with flaming reviews. I promise you will learn a lot just in the process of writing a constructive review or in coming to the conclusion to not write anything at all; it's the intellectual process that is educational.

REVIEWS: Reviews are intended for you to post something for other readers to read about the story (and display some of your own writing and analysis skills), it's not meant as an email service to me; use Private Messaging for that. The best reviews answer three questions:

1) What you like about the story. Always include something positive. Did you like the characters? Pacing? Imagination? Dialog? What do you like that causes you to keep reading it? This is very important to help support the author's sanity, because writing is hard and you don't need to make it harder by being all negative.

2) What you think could be improved. A review of only negative issues is very demoralizing to an author and does not reflect favorably on you. Nitpicking minor facts is not very useful, though I love pointers on local knowledge and language use. Please, do not nitpick on spelling errors; no one gets spelling 100% correct, not even professionally edited and published books. Please, try to offer more higher-level, more useful feedback than mere spelling errors. Let the author tell their story; maybe how they told the story could be improved but it's their story, let them tell it. Have some humility; you are not always right.

3) What you find just plain interesting or unusual about the story. I consider this to be the most important, the most insightful, the most valuable question.

POSTING: I will only post a story once I have it completely written and polished to the best of my abilities. If I had more talent I could be more confident that I would be able to complete a story once I started it, but I don't. Therefore I will only start posting once I know I can finish something. Which could be quite a while.

HARRY POTTER: Some may consider my 'critique' of wizarding culture as criticism of JKR's stories. So let me acknowledge my debt to JKR for her huge work of world-building in imagining the Harry Potter world. Yes, there are 'plot opportunities' galore, all the more fun for the rest of us playing in that huge sandbox. I use the wizarding world as a foil to take a look at our own culture, to find the shortcomings and those good things that we easily forget but are fundamentally important to all of us. All of us can easily stand inside our own culture and point to failings and shortcomings, but while we are rightly focussed on those bent and broken trees we should not lose sight of the rest of the beautiful forest around us. It is still very much worth protecting while we work to fix specific trees or meadows that need tending. To be more blunt, any idiot can bitch; they might even be right once in a while. But recreational bitching can be destructive to much of the good that we all depend on. Are you tearing things down, like a spoiled brat? Or are you building something? Please, build something. What are you going to build today?

ACTIVE STORIES I AM WORKING ON (but haven't yet published):

Updated 13 June 2020 -- (30 days since last update)

In a blatant, desperate attempt to guilt my muse into action and actually complete some of these stories, I'm listing my active stories here: (changes marked by *)

My muse seems to have returned from oblivion, but it seems to have picked up a case of ADHD somewhere along the way.

And All Those Left Behind

SUMMARY: During the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Harry enters the third task and never comes out. This is the story of Hermione and all those left behind. Four months later Hermione finds evidence of Harry and everything starts falling apart even faster. Then she finds him barely alive and their world explodes. AU. H/Hr.

Current word count: 238k (was 232k) (was 223k) (was 217k) (was 210k) (was 206k) (was 202k)

Estimated Final word count: 280k?? Down to the last 5 chapters out of 25 chapters total (maybe 26 chapters?)

“Come Find Me”

SUMMARY: In the summer after 5th year, Hermione is targeted by Death Eaters. One dies and she ends up banished; expelled from Hogwarts, her magic bound, she and her parents are obliviated. Now the Death Eater's are out for her blood, but she doesn't even know they are coming. And Harry finally comes to realise what she means to him. The beginning of a very new journey. H/Hr

Current word count: 60k (was 50k) (was 38k) (was 34k) (was 31k) (was 28k) (was 23k) *

Estimated Final word count: 120k?? Down to the last 4 chapters out of 8 *