He felt her shift closer to him, her arm touching his lightly. They were sitting in charms, the room a quiet murmur as students attempted to complete their assignment. They were nearing the end of the double lesson, most of the students talking quietly with one another. He and Hermione had been successful fairly early on, spending the remaining time doodling on the paper. Well. Hermione read ahead, Harry doodled.

"This is bloody bollocks." Ron groaned, his hand gripping his hair in frustration as he sat on a table nearby, Neville sending the two a pleading look.

"Alright, Ron?" Harry asked, eying the redhead in interest. He was rewarded with a glare in reply.

"Clearly not." His face twisted as he once again, tried and failed to complete the spell. His wand jabbing quite harshly.

"You're being too sharp with your wand movements." Hermione tried to help him, leaning across Harry. "slow it down."

"Slow it down…" Ron repeated, muttering.

She sighed quietly, biting her lip as she shared a glance with Harry. He frowned, his quill pausing mid stroke. Ron had been increasingly short lately, prone to snapping back.

"Hermione's only trying to help…" Harry spoke, his voice quiet. He felt a pressure on his arm, Hermione squeezing slightly.

"Well, I didn't ask for her to help." Ron replied, his ears turning red. "I'm not an idiot."

Harry felt his own temper rise and fought to keep his voice level, "you sure about that?"

"Oh, piss off, Harry." Ron smarted, his blue eyes pulling to meet his, a challenge in them.

"Harry…" Hermione gripped his forearm harder now, her eyes pleading, "just leave it. It's fine."

"Yeah, Harry. Just leave it." Ron parroted, an odd snark in his voice.

He was saved from answering when Professor Flitwick announced the end of the lesson. Ron was out of the room in a flash, his red hair disappearing quickly into the crowd of students. A few of their peers eyeing the two in interest.

"He's being a right tosser." Harry commented as he slowly packed away his things.

"He's hurting."

"Doesn't make it ok…" Harry muttered before pausing, his tongue caught in his throat as he watched as others exited the room.

"What?" Hermione noticed his shift, "what is it?" She slung her bag over her shoulder, readying to leave.

"Nothing." Harry replied, forcing a smile onto his face. "Let's go eat."

He rolled his neck slowly, his joints creaking as he waited for Snape and Remus. He looked out the window, the Quidditch pitch in the distance and his thoughts drifted to his red headed friend, anger creeping into his body. He struggled to push it aside, struggled to empathise with his friend when he was behaving so poorly to those around him, particularly Hermione.

"Potter?" A voice pulled him from his thoughts. He turned at the sound, finding himself looking at Professor Snape.

"Yeah…" He straightened his back, glancing back at the pitch briefly. "Where's Remus?"

"Called away on business for the Order." Snape replied. He realised suddenly that this was the first training with Snape after what had happened at the Cottage with his relatives and he felt his cheeks warm at the memory.

"Oh.. Ok." He watched at the older man approached, his black cloak wrapped around him, despite the mild night inside the castle. Harry looked down at himself, he hardly looked like a wizard sometimes. preferring to dress in muggle attire.

"Put this on." Snape handed him a piece of black fabric.

"A blindfold?" Harry took it from him.

"We had a meeting." Snape answered his question. "And it was decided we needed to up your training. You've become a very strong wizard."

"A compliment from Professor Snape? I'm going to fall over." Harry replied, grinning.

"Just put the blindfold on, Potter." Snape answered, voice terse.

"Yes, Sir." He placed the blindfold over his eyes, tying it tightly at the back. It impaired his vision completely and he automatically felt his shoulders stiffen. Vulnerable. He immediately didn't like it. "How is that meant to help me?"

"When one of our senses is lost, our others amplify." Snape replied, "to lose sight. You'll have to feel your way around you. Listen to what's around you."

"Listen?"

"To footsteps. Breathing." Snape continued, walking around him to show his point, his shoes clicking on the stone quietly.

"Right." He guessed it made some sense and his ears strained to hear his Professor wander the room, to track his movements.

"Relax into it." Snape coached him. "You're too tense."

Harry felt himself sigh, forcing his breathing to slow. He held out his wand, directing to where he believed Snape stood, only for a stinging hex to hit him from behind, catching him on the back of the neck.

"Ow!" He flinched away, twisting his body around and casting a spell haphazardly in response. His heart rate increased. He felt his earlier frustration at Ron slip out of him, seeking release and he fought to concentrate, to hone in on the environment around him.

"You're reacting." His voice was close to him, too close and he flinched back. How did he get so close without him knowing?

It continued this way for nearly 45 minutes, by the end of which, left Harry feeling very sore. He had adapted surprisingly well to the task once he had allowed himself to tune into the environment. Taking stock of his other senses. He had never really had any problems following his gut. He twirled his wand in his hand as he pulled off the blindfold, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the light. He relished in the physical pain slightly, leaning into it.

Snape eyed him with interest.

"What does it feel like?"

"What, sir?"

"When you duel? What does it feel like?"

Harry considered the question, the course of energy flowing through him. "Like electricity." He answered. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, "the more I lean into it, the bigger the rush. I can feel it. Inside. Like, this… spark." He looked at him, "and now. Lately. The more I train… the more I can control it. Control the emotion in it and direct it properly. More effectively." He then sighed, "and then sometimes. I just forget."

"Forget?"

"I forget who I am. What I am. I forget that people die. For a few moments, within all of it. I forget that. I forget the darkness. Because for me, it's all light."

Snape merely looked at him, dark eyes assessing him. "You can beat him."

Harry nodded before a sad smile graced his face, his eyes darkening, "I know."

He walked back slowly, his head downcast as he wandered towards the common room where Hermione was waiting for him. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. All he wanted to do was to collapse into a bed and shut his eyes.

"You look how I feel." A voice interrupted his musings. He raised his eyes to find Luna looking at him, her pale blue eyes troubled.

"I just had about a thousand stinging hexes at me and quite a gown up conversation. I'm exhausted." Harry replied, offering a tried smile as they stepped in sync. "You?"

"Ron's avoiding me."

"Ah," his eyes softened as he looked at her.

"Has he said anything to you?"

"Our conversations mainly centre around Quidditch. Sorry, Luna."

"Oh, ok." She sighed, tucking her blond hair behind her ear.

He chewed his lip. We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond to what happens to us. His eyes flickered to Luna, and he placed friendly arm around her shoulder. "You are an amazing person Luna Lovegood and I'm very proud to call you my friend."

Luna let a smile across her face, "you are?"

"Absolutely."

She smiled wider, "thanks, Harry."

"We'll get through it, together, Luna. He's going to be ok."

"You think?"

"With some help, yeah." He nodded as they came to a junction. "He just needs time to figure out how to accept it." He let out a little sigh, "take it from someone who hates receiving help. It takes effort. It does. To trust that someone else can hold your pain with you."

"I want to be there. I want him to trust me." Luna replied, her blue eyes glistening.

"He does. I really think he does. He just… he isn't ready to share it yet. He's too angry"

"Thanks, Harry." She nodded at him, before pulling him into a hug. "I'll see you later."

She sent him another smile as they departed, Luna heading towards the Ravenclaw common room. He watched her go, wishing he could've offered more. A sad Luna Lovegood just didn't fit the picture.

When he walked through the portrait door, he felt as though he had walked back 3 years. His two best friends stood facing each other, faces red, eyes narrowed. The rest of the common room had grounded to a halt, all eyes drawn to the two facing off.

His eyes flickered in question to Ginny who stood beside Hermione, the red head glancing his way and sending him a pleading look.

"Oh, Harry's here!" She announced, far too loudly. A look of desperation in her gaze.

"Is everything ok?" Harry asked cautiously as he approached the group.

"No. Everything is not ok." Ron answered, a snark in his voice. He didn't tear his gaze away from Hermione. "Hermione just gave me a detention."

"A detention?" He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Why?"

"He's been switching his patrols without discussing it with anyone." Hermione was the one who replied. "And then not showing up."

"I don't care about it, what's the point?" Ron's ears were red.

"The point, Ronald." Hermione's eyes darkened, "is that you're responsible for your partners safety. As well as the other students." Her eyes narrowed before she continued, "and when your shirk that responsibility, you're putting others in danger."

"Would you just stop, Hermione? You're being insufferable as always." Ron rolled his eyes, "it's just patrol. What's the worst…"

"Ron," there was a note of warning in his voice when he spoke. It cut through the air, lingering dangerously. He looked at Hermione who he could see was blinking back tears.

Ron sighed before turning to him, clearly not understanding the impact of his words, "of course you're defending her. You're fu-"

The redhead didn't have the chance to finish that sentence. Harry moved quickly, positioning himself between the two. He didn't touch him.

"Finish that sentence." Harry dared, his green eyes glinting dangerously. He felt the air be sucked out of the room, tension building and his magic tingling, begging for release. Merlin, he wanted to knock him off his feet. His fingers itched. "Go on, Ron. Say it." Even though he wasn't as tall as Ron, the redhead flushed slightly under his gaze, his face paling as his bravado suddenly evaporated.

"Go for a walk, Ron." Harry continued, his voice like ice.

"Whatever." Ron muttered, a great scowl adorning his face as he thankfully heeded Harry's advice. His face red, head bowing as he stalked out of the room, other students leaping awkwardly out of his path.

He watched as Ron's cloak disappeared his expression a storm of emotions, the lines on his face hard. He felt the eyes of the room on him and fought to control his magic. He took a deep breath as he gently unfurled his fist, stretching out his fingers as he turned his attention to Hermione.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…" She wiped at her eyes, "I shouldn't have pushed him…"

"Don't you dare apologise." Ginny beat him to it, "he's being a right prick."

"He's hurting," Hermione sighed tiredly.

Ginny's eyes softened slightly, "we're all hurting, Hermione. It doesn't make it ok." The redheaded witch took her hands in hers, "you're amazing. You know that right?" She let out a small smile, "even if my twit of a brother can't see it right now."

"Mmmmmm." Hermione tried to muster a smile as she glanced at the clock, a tired sigh escaping her. "I should go. I have rounds with Draco soon."

"I'll do them." Harry spoke up. His blood still simmered from his encounter with Ron, his earlier tiredness no longer evident. "I could use a walk too, to be honest."

"You did them this morning, though. And you just had training." Hermione shook her head. "You must be exhausted."

"I'm fine." Harry insisted. "You two hang out. Rest." He sent her a crooked smile, "I'll see you later."

"You're not the bossy brunette I was expecting." Draco was leaning casually on the wall.

"Sorry to disappoint." Harry tried and failed to smile. "Stuck with me tonight, Malfoy."

"Granger, alright?" Draco asked as they set off on their route. "You alright?"

Harry chewed his lip, "she's ok. Ron was being a prick."

"Can we go hex him?" Draco's eyes lit up, "I've always wanted to hex Weasley."

Harry bit back a smile, "as tempting as that is…" He sent him a sidelong glance, "and it is tempting. I think we'll let him cool off for a bit and then reassess if hexing is necessary."

"Well, for what it counts. I think it's necessary." He paused, "particularly if Weasley is concerned."

"Noted."

"You heard anything from your Mum?" Harry broke the comfortable silence, they had successfully interrupted a little rendezvous of two 5th years in a broom closet. Draco had particularly enjoyed the looks of mortification on the students' faces at being caught out. He rubbed at his eyes tiredly, his body starting to ache. He dreaded to think how sore he was going to feel tomorrow.

"Yeah," Draco sighed quietly, "Snape's managed to get a message to her. That I'm ok."

"That's good, right?"

"She's still stuck there, Harry. Stuck there with him."

"Voldemort?"

Draco grimaced at the name but didn't comment on it, "my father." He then sent him a sidelong glance, "he's an ass."

"I'm sorry," Harry frowned.

"She's strong though." Draco continued, "she'll be ok. I just wish I was there to help her."

"Is there any way of getting her out?" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged, "it's too dangerous. If she got caught…" He shuddered at the thought, his already pale face losing more colour.

Harry nodded as silence once again enveloped them. They walked in silence again, the sound of their shoes against the stone floor echoing in the empty corridor.

"You sure we don't want to hex Weasley?"

"Oh, we definitely want to." Harry offered him a smile. "But I doubt that would help."

"It'll help make us feel better."

Harry let out a laugh, "true. Very true." He chewed his lip, "I kind of feel hypocritical though."

"What do you mean?"

"That in the past, I know I haven't been the easiest person to be friends with." He shook his head. "And every time I made it hard for them to like me, they've been there." They came to a stop, "especially Hermione." He shoved his hands in his pockets, "I've been selfish, and mean at times."

Draco nodded thoughtfully, "I mean, you've been through a lot. You're entitled to be mad."

"Mad, yeah. But mean? Mean to the people who only want to help?" He shook his head. "It's ok to be mad. But not mean. There's a difference."

He was only partially surprised to see her resting comfortably in his bed, candles lit with a book propped in her lap. She looked up at his arrival, sending him a small smile.

"Hey.'

"Hey, yourself." Harry replied, pulling his cloak off. "You alright?"

"I'm ok." She nodded to him, "any dramas?"

"Caught some 5th years in a broom cupboard." He grinned lightly, eyes twinkling as he started to change. "Draco had a field day."

"Who was it?"

"Kennedy and Adams."

"The Hufflepuffs?"

"Yep." He let out a light laugh, "poor souls. The look on their faces."

"Better you than Filch."

"That's what we said!" He grinned at her lightly and climbing in besides her. He let out a yawn as soon as his head hit the pillow. He breathed deeply, his muscles relaxing.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Do you even know what I'm thanking you for?"

He moved to his side, turning his eyes on her. "Going on your rounds?" A lazy smile stetted across his face. "Being so good looking?"

"For what you did with Ron." She mirrored his position.

"I really wanted to hit him." Harry admitted quietly. His green eyes glittered in the candlelight.

"I know."

"I still kinda do."

"I know." She gently touched his face, her fingers tracing along his mouth. "I could feel your magic."

"Are you ok?" He asked his earlier question again, his tone gentle. "It's ok if you're not." He added.

Her fingers stilled in their movements, her eyes searching his. "No, I'm not ok." She then offered a small smile, her eyes filling with a light. Hope. "But I will be."

He nodded, his eyes unsettled. His thoughts drifting towards earlier conversations.

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione prodded gently.

"Was I like that?" His green eyes were bright when he looked at her.

She frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. "What are you talking about, Harry? Like what?"

"When Sirius… died. Was I so mean to you?"

"Oh," She sighed, realisation dawning on her. "Um. You weren't. You just ignored me. Sometimes I wish you would get mad like that. It'd be easier to know what you were thinking." She tilted her head to the side, "you just kind of… withdraw. Disconnect from it all. Brood. You get very broody." She sent him another smile, "kinda sexy."

"Sexy?" He raised an eyebrow, his lips curling in amusement.

"Sexy and frustrating." She kissed him softly on the lips, the touch sending jolts of electricity directly to his heart.

"I'm sorry."

"Harry?"

"You've never been anything but a good friend to me.. to us." He chewed his bottom lip. "And I know you don't need protecting. Goodness knows you're stronger than any of us."

"Harry…" Hermione's voice was soft, her eyes dark in the low light.

"You are." He gripped her hand in his, eyes imploring. "You are, Hermione. But I hate seeing how he is talking to you. And it makes…" He swallowed a large lump in his throat as he continued, "It makes me feel sick thinking I was like that to you at all. So, Merlin. I am so sorry I'm a git."

"You're not a git, Harry." She entwined their fingers together. "You're many, many things." She sent him a slight grin, "but you're certainly not a git."

"Many things?" Her smile had lessened the tension in the air and he replied with a smile of his own.

"Well, yeah. Stubborn, headstrong, you have this weird martyr complex," she began counting on her fingers, "sometimes your writing is completely illegible."

"Oi!" He laughed at her, as he gripped her by the hips, tickling her relentlessly. She let out a laugh, squirming slightly in his arms, her head arching back as he leaned over her.

She let out a breathless laugh, "You have very poor time management skills."

"I do not!"

"You are ALWAYS late, Harry. Always."

"I like to make an entrance."

Hermione laughed again, squirming slightly and breathless. Her cheeks were flushed red, her eyes dancing. His heart leapt at the sight and he paused in his actions. He felt his heart flutter. How did she still make his heart flutter?

"Don't look at me like that." She breathed, her tone lowering.

"Why?"

"It makes it harder to breathe."

"Here." Harry placed his hands on Hermione's shoulders. "You're too square."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, "you're calling me a nerd?"

Harry laughed, "no. I'm not. You're literally too square." He shifted her slightly, re-positioning. "You want to make your body as small as possible." He squeezed her arm gently, "the smaller your body. The smaller the target. The less chance they have of hitting you with a spell."

"You know, this is not how I imagined our one year anniversary." Hermione remarked mildly as she did what he instructed, her eyes travelling around the Great Hall as it slowly filled up. Dinner had finished, the tables vanishing and making way for a large training space.

"What do you mean?" He followed her gaze around the room, "this isn't romantic?"

"Mmmmmhmmm, a room full of students and professors and spells and magic."

"Mostly magic." He flashed her a grin, his heart light as he looked at her.

She tilted her head at him then, a spark of light in her gaze. "Yeah. Mostly magic."

"And hostile red heads." Harry added as Ron entered. The Weasley had steadfastly ignored them for the majority of the week, preferring to sit with Neville instead. Every other opportunity and he was at the Quidditch pitch. It was like 4th year, all over again.

"Is today the day we can hex him?" Draco appeared beside him, following his gaze. The blond bounced on the tips of his toes expectantly.

"Who's hexing who?" Ginny asked, following closely behind.

"Your idiot of a brother."

Ginny let out a sigh, "Oh, right. Of course."

"No one is hexing anyone." Harry replied, sending Draco a glance. "Not yet, anyway."

The class went by largely uneventful, Harry wandering the room offering assistance. It was packed with many students, all varying in age and ability. All eager to give it a go. Professors also supported, and ghosts too. It felt as though the whole castle was on board. They had divided the students into groups, based on their ability. Ranging from simple deflective spells to the more advanced and then to duels.

It was only at the end of the session when things started to get heated. He had just dismissed the younger cohort and was readying to leave when he noticed Draco and Ron. The two duelling in the corner of the room.

"They're going to hurt each other." Hermione came up to him, her eyes wide with concern. "They won't listen to anyone."

Harry sighed as he made his way over. The two of him were both sweating, faces flushed and eyes set.

"Time to wrap this up." Harry announced. "Come on."

"Piss off, Harry." Ron didn't spare him a glance.

"End it now. Before I do."

He saw Draco slacken a bit, wearily, just as Ron went on another offensive attack. Harry swore as he pulled out his wand.

Within a matter of seconds he had disarmed them both, the dome enclosing them vanishing.

Ron rounded on him instantly. His eyes mad as he shoved him, "give me my wand."

"Get out of my class." Harry replied, his voice stone cold.

"With pleasure." Ron answered, snatching his wand back and stalking out of the Hall.

Harry released a breath of air, his shoulders tensing. He looked around him, his eyes focusing on Ron's retreating back. "Sod this." He muttered as he took off after him. He followed him outside, catching him by the entrance.

"What is your problem?" Harry called after him.

Ron turned his head, "you."

"Me?"

"Yes. You!" Ron came close to him, so close he could feel his hot breath on his face.

"Go on then, Ron. Hit me." Harry discarded his wand, irritated. "Whatever you need to make yourself feel better."

"You are such an arrogant prick." Ron glared at him, eyes narrowing as his face flushed red.

"And you're acting like a complete tosser." He could see Hermione out of the corner of his eye, her lip caught between her teeth in worry. Draco, Luna and Ginny behind her.

"My brother died." Ron flung a curse at him angrily.

"Yeah, your brother did die." Harry deflected the curse with an ease that only served to agitate Ron further. "You think you're the only one who's lost someone? That makes it ok to act like you've been acting?"

"Shut up, Harry."

"No. Tell me. Tell me what makes you different from everyone else?"

"They're not best friends with you! It's your fault. It's always your fault. Disaster follows you everywhere."

Harry straightened slightly, surprised. He felt his chest tighten. The pause was long enough for Ron to sneak in a spell. It hit him on the chest and forced him backwards. He caught his breath as he responded. "That's news to you, is it? Finally caught on after being jealous for 6 years?"

"He shouldn't have died. It should've been you."

He felt the air be sucked out of him completely. Ron stood opposite him, panting. His face red, eyes bloodshot. He meant that. And it broke his heart.

"You don't think I know that?" Harry replied softly, quietly. His anger having completely evaporated. "You don't think I don't spend everyday knowing I shouldn't be here? That I'm only alive now because others have given their lives so I could live? That we could live?"

Ron didn't respond.

"You can be angry at me all you want, Ron. And blame me all you want. That's fine. I can carry that. But you're not the only one hurting. Open your fucking eyes and look around. Look around and see who's there." Without waiting for a response, he wordlessly summoned his wand and left without a backwards glance.

"Harry..." Ginny was the one to catch his arm as he went to pass, his head bowed. "He didn't mean that."

Harry looked up, meeting her gaze. The same blue eyes as her brother. "You didn't see his eyes, Ginny. He meant it."

A/N: Hope everyone is managing ok in this crazy crazy time. I shall try to get out another chapter within two weeks.

Please read and review :)