If you have experienced sexual assault and would like someone to talk with, please visit:

apps DOT rainn DOT org/ohl-bridge/

or CALL 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)

XXXXX

i have written for years, for my own gratification, but destroyed 20 years worth of journals in the Great Shredder Catharsis of 1999. I didn't write much more than a letter or email until November 2008 when a damned coworker turned me on to twilight fan fiction. fan what? so here i am, overflowing with words again.

thank you for reading some of them.

xxxxx

i love writing lemons. apparently i've been doing it since high school.

it took me forever to figure out what the term 'ship' meant. did you know the term 'slash' comes from pervs like us writing sex scenes for Spock and Kirk? yeah. puts a whole new twist on my childhood memories of watching star trek with my dad.

I am flattered that you would ask, but no, i do not beta for others.

xxxxx

my pet peeves: breath/breathe, shutter/shudder, should of/should have, most simile, most words that end in '-ly,' the word 'had' (does the sentence mean the same thing without it? then take it the fuck out), the phrase 'hot, tight and wet,' and the word 'ministrations' (who knows why).

"Karat" with a 'K' refers to the purity of a gold alloy. "Carat" with a 'C' refers to the size of a gemstone.

AARGH!! a HEM is at the bottom of something. a sleeve, a pants leg, a skirt... a WAISTBAND is usually what you shove your hand down to grab a fist-full of cock or kitty. Please, dear god, when you trail your character's fingers along the hem of someone's pants, there better well be either be ankles, or the Guinness Book of World Records cock involved.

I get that you want to use big words, but really, google is an amazing thing for helping you with spelling. check it out. they have a cool little blue 'definition' hyperlink feature in the top right corner, too. Spelling, and definition, all with like two clicks.

Laid, Lain, Lie, Lay: yeah. i can't figure it out either. ...same with each others/each other's

foreign words are fun to use, too, like 'adieu' or 'gesundheit.' if it's not a language you grew up speaking, please check your spelling, even if you truly think a phonetic spelling is gud 'nuf 2 gt your poynt akros.

Word confusion, or why just trusting a spellchecker is not always a great idea: taut/taunt/taught. pallet/palate/palette. rein/reign/rain. bare/bear. starring/staring. peak/peek/pique. racked/wracked and also wreaked/reeked. and while i'm on a "W" kick, wretched/retched, join/joint/junction/juncture.

if you catch me doing any of the above, please PM me and let me know. it was probably written in a lust-induced edward haze. i do my best to overlook them when i read fics, but ya know it makes sad sad sad. there's a point at which silly stuff like this has actually made me give up on an otherwise interesting story because the word choices and grammar are SO bad, it distracts me. the last thing you want is the people reading your story to think about either the words they think you MEANT to say, or how bad your sentence structure is, instead of about what your characters are saying to each other.

xxxxx

A word on riding out orgasms, tongues battling for dominance, monster cocks, orgasms on demand (come for me, now!), men who taste like cinnamon and/or vanilla, pussies that are constantly wet (please see your doctor), perma-boners, luminous orbs (eyes?), and 387 euphemisms for the word 'cock'... DON'T

also, please educate yourself on the hymen.

xxxxx

as readers, please respect the people providing you with free entertainment. understand that if you are reading material coded NC-17 or M, you can expect to encounter themes intended for a mature audience. please be mature when you review. we LOVE encouragement, constructive criticism, intelligent questions/observations, and we appreciate your patience as we work to bring you the best stories we can. If you find yourself reading something you absolutely hate, please, by all means, click the oh-so-convenient little Red X at the top right corner of your screen. If it's THAT bad, why did you keep reading? ask yourself - are you specifically looking for stories just to pick on them? if so, it says more about you than it does the stories you target with your over-eagerness to report them for TOS violations.

as writers, please respect your readers (and potential readers) by offering adequate warnings for content in your stories that may be offensive or objectionable. Sometimes an M rating isn't enough, and additional warnings are called for. Respect your story, tell it the way it needs to be told, but let your readers decide, before they get 10 chapters deep, whether your content might not be what they want to read. You can do it in ways that preserve the integrity of any secret reveals later on. Be thoughtful. Be respectful.

okay - so we've probably seen lots of author profiles loaded with diatribes on what should or shouldn't be allowed in the fandom. fan fic is a creative outlet like no other, and SM's world provides us with an amazing array of opportunities to explore family relationships, romantic relationships, sex, violence, death and loss, morality, faith and spiritualism, self-awareness, fate and destiny, and much more. it's a big big fandom, with a staggering array of creative minds contributing to it. i think there is room here for all of us, from teens to twi moms, dabblers to anonymous pros, canon shippers to slash addicts. if it finds an audience, no matter how small, it has a place. who are you to say what deserves to be allowed?

i have one final thing to say, and that is all. Find something you don't like? Click the RED X.

Also - it you're an asshole, i WILL delete your reviews.

thank you!!