Colonel-Mustard1990hide bio
 Author has written 11 stories for Warhammer, Elder Scroll series, Halo, Mass Effect, and Fallout. About me, then. London born and bred, lived pretty much all my life in Blighty. Currently working as a waiting, writing, playing large quantities of video games, sporadically playing Warhammer and also currently a green belt in Taekwon-Do (so don't try it! :P) I also try drawing, but frankly it isn't so much drawing as flailing around with the hopes of making something vaguely artistic, so the less we talk of it, methinks, the better. Been a big fan of writing ever since I tried tapping out a Warhammer 40K fan fiction; wasn't particularly good, but it was a start and I've been improving over time since then. My teacher says I'm semi-literate now! Not much else to say, really. Favourite book: American Gods, by Neil Gaiman and Catch 22 by Joseph Heller. Anyway, that's all for now; feel free to read, review, comment on my stuff, and I might well return them. I can't promise anything, however. I am a very, very lazy person at times. And time is something I don't have much of. This would be filled with copy and paste into your profile things, but I hate those, so fuck that noise.
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Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
A Shot in the Dark by niule reviews
History links them more than they know. Probably more than they'd like, too. A tale of growth, lies, and new beginnings. Eventual F!Courier/Boone. Will cover DLC.
Fallout - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 77 - Words: 257,428 - Reviews: 657 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 453 - Updated: 7/15 - Published: 5/28/2012 - [Courier, C. Boone]
Delta Effect by Zero612 reviews
Delta is the name of our newest entrant, as he finds himself in the Mass Effect universe, with knowledge of everything beforehand as he joins Shepard to fight the collectors. Delta is change, and he plans to implement a lot of it.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 143,958 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 5/13/2019 - Published: 12/3/2011 - J. Garson
The Last Spartan by DinoJake reviews
An AU fic in which the Halo and ME universes share the same galaxy. After a well deserved rest in Cryo-Sleep, Master Chief finally awakens...to a whole new galaxy.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 489,686 - Reviews: 3952 - Favs: 3,982 - Follows: 3,993 - Updated: 12/31/2018 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Master Chief/John-117
Middle of Nowhere by Wyolake reviews
"There is a dead darkspawn on the hood of my car." How one modern man deals with his sudden appearance in Ferelden. Rated T for strong language, violence, and sexual situations. OCs plus the entire ragtag DA:O team.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 99 - Words: 449,388 - Reviews: 1370 - Favs: 1,427 - Follows: 1,518 - Updated: 8/31/2017 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Alistair, Amell
Chains of the Kindred by Solvdrage reviews
A HaloWarhammer 40K crossover. Two besieged branches of Humanity, separated by time and space have been reunited. And there is only War!
Crossover - Warhammer & Halo - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 155,118 - Reviews: 478 - Favs: 830 - Follows: 845 - Updated: 7/26/2016 - Published: 7/24/2007
Tide of War: Mass Effect Warhammer Crossover by TheSGC reviews
Warhammer 30k Pre-Heresy and Mass Effect 2 crossover. The 25th Expeditionary Fleet, with the Alpha Legion, is en route to a pacification when something very unexpected happens …
Crossover - Warhammer & Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 34 - Words: 82,578 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 537 - Follows: 716 - Updated: 4/4/2016 - Published: 10/11/2011
For Tomorrow We Die by ElectricZ reviews
ME2- After surviving the Omega Four Relay mission, the Normandy returns to find the galaxy in political turmoil. Cerberus has been exposed, humanity has lost its council seat, and the geth offer a peace that no one seems to desire. To complicate matters, the Reapers are coming. Most characters present. AU as it invalidates Mass Effect 3. Alternate ending begins chapter 71.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 74 - Words: 340,059 - Reviews: 957 - Favs: 863 - Follows: 691 - Updated: 12/15/2015 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Tali'Zorah, Legion, Shepard, Garrus V. - Complete
Halo: Chimera Rising by Katsuhiro reviews
"Impassive, resilient and utterly deadly; the Spartan is the ultimate example of human lethality. Representing the pinnacle of wartime research reached during the Human-Covenant War, they say that Spartans never truly die. Would that such words were true."
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 130,807 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 6/29/2015 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Complete
Diplomatic Gestures by Aicosu reviews
She didn't have need for an assassin, but she couldn't very well reject the gift without angering the Serkonos regency. They were a traditional people with a traditional mind. She'd have to work around it. (A take on how Corvo Attano came to be the Royal Protector and the object of Jessamine's heart.) CorvoXJessamine mute!Corvo
Dishonored - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 112,417 - Reviews: 498 - Favs: 1,000 - Follows: 1,014 - Updated: 12/6/2014 - Published: 1/12/2013 - Corvo A., Jessamine K., A. Sokolov, H. Burrows
Gospel of Chris by Dumbledore is Gay reviews
When the author, a budding DM, asks his buddy Chris about his greatest campaign ever, he gets an ear-full of what seems like conspiracy theories and paranoia. If he had only left well enough alone. Because being a hero is never easy. Dark Days Are Coming. Oh joy. Rated T for Teen. CHAPTER 8 IS HERE!
Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 52,209 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/29/2014 - Published: 10/15/2011
Mass Effect: Absolution by Patient131071 reviews
Sequel to Vindication. Commander Thaddaeus Shepard, N7 Black Ops assassin: just who did he have to kill to gain the attention of the Council's Spectres? Perhaps the shorter answer would be to the question 'who DIDN'T he kill'...
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 87,872 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 4/30/2014 - Published: 6/16/2012 - Shepard
Suffer not the Xenos to Live by Advicepuppy reviews
An Imperial Guarsman's life is changed forever as he clears an eldar dwelling on the craftworld of Yul'Te. An epic journey, a story of love, hope, despair, suffering, and death. EXTREMELY GRAPHIC, Contains adult themes though not tactless .
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 112,174 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 547 - Follows: 562 - Updated: 1/19/2014 - Published: 11/17/2011 - Imperial Guard, Eldar
Dawn of Hospitality by That guy83 reviews
In the grimdark nightmare of the far future, there is only peace...SAY WHAT?
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 69,235 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 12/31/2013 - Published: 10/25/2011
Viva New Vegas by Cressida Isolde reviews
Running a city is a lot harder than it seems, especially one like New Vegas. The Courier contends with assassination attempts, power grabs, and the past catching back up with her. Postgame. A story about love, loss, and living with your decisions. F!Courier/Boone. Third in 'If I Didn't Care' series. Completed.
Fallout - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 85 - Words: 211,871 - Reviews: 597 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 12/16/2013 - Published: 3/8/2011 - [Courier, C. Boone] Benny, Veronica S. - Complete
Warhammer Bitesized by ODST 262 reviews
Its a normal day for me; School's good and my mini war-gaming is even better. I was looking forward to my week alone but then characters from the 40k universe start appearing in my house. The strangest part, they're all the size of tabletop models.
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,727 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 1/15/2012 - Space Marines, Eldar
One, Squared by ChaserGrey reviews
Miranda Lawson brought John Shepard back from the dead. Twice. Now she has to face old fears and new enemies to protect something even more precious. And this time there will be no second chances.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,439 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Miranda L., Shepard
Fate Rewritten: Vertigo by Feeloves reviews
**UNDER RENOVATION** Jokes aside, the Mass Effect Universe is dark, scary and dangerous as hell. So what on Earth is a girl to do if she lands smack dab in the middle of it all? Mindoir to end of ME1. Give it a try, it might surprise you.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 24 - Words: 74,019 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 2/11/2012 - J. Garson
Skyrim: 2013 by malachi3134 reviews
In the summer of 2013, a Khajiit detective gets called to track down a seasoned killer in Riften. He ends up on a quest that leads him through modern-day Skyrim. Please review. Thank you.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Crime/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,242 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/26/2012 - Published: 12/8/2012
If There are Wolves Among the Stars by skywalker05 reviews
AU. The starship Long Night of Solace has been cast adrift, partially intact, in slipspace, and the one Spartan and one Sangheili aboard both have reasons to get back to Reach. Jorge/Six.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 111,474 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 11/5/2012 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Jorge-052/Noble Five, SPARTAN-B312/Noble Six - Complete
Audacity by OhSoDeadly reviews
Only 24%, Colonel? Considering the events of Dramus City in 2550, Emile might need a bit more than that.
Halo - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 29,787 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/24/2012 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Emile-A239/Noble Four, Jorge-052/Noble Five
Crook and Spiral by Lyros reviews
Urdnot Solus always thought that what he wanted most was to see his long-lost father. He never imagined he'd find himself signing on to chase after the lost legacy of a particularly strange human soldier.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 38,890 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 10/13/2012 - Published: 4/5/2012
Between Breaths by Plantress reviews
Victus, Garrus and a moment between battles on Menae. Implied FemShep/Garrus
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,593 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/11/2012 - Garrus V., Primarch Adrien Victus - Complete
Boredom by Jedi Gallifreyan reviews
Commander Allie Shepard is desperate for something to do during those long trips across the galaxy. Short and somewhat cracky fic I dashed off while bored myself.
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 959 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/11/2012 - J. Garson, Garrus V. - Complete
Square One by ChaserGrey reviews
"Commander Shepard's body has been recovered. The Lazarus Project will proceed. Again." After Shepard dies defeating the Reapers, Miranda has to start at square one. But this time she doesn't have to do it alone. Post-ME3, better ending, whole-crew ensemble fic. Derated from M since it never actually had any adult content.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,778 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 6/10/2012 - Miranda L., Shepard - Complete
They're Just Missing In Action by Paragon of Awesomeness reviews
As each member of Noble Team meets their fate on Reach, they all eventually end up in the Mass Effect universe where they join forces with Shepard and his squad to stop the Collectors, and protect humanity - at any cost. Paragon male Shep, male Noble Six
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,765 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 5/30/2011 - SPARTAN-B312/Noble Six, Shepard
Master Chief Letters From Stasis by Kyia.L.Kenobi reviews
Was originally just a resignation letter, but after I wrote it I realised he had a few more in him. So here it is, ranty Spartan letters to everyone from Cortana to Injury Lawyers for You. Please RNR
Halo - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 7,459 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Master Chief/John-117
Left Wing Trauma by Sterella reviews
Missy is a sworn medic. She believes everyone deserves to be healed...everyone. Will her self righteous ego get her and her assistant Nurse into hot water? Violence. Gore. Swearing. Maybe a little love later on... BRIEF HIATUS!
Halo - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,550 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 10/16/2011
Unto Dawn by SnappleAddict reviews
The Master Chief and Cortana find a mysterious planet after years of drifting through space. Now aboard a moon-sized alien flagship, the two will have to call upon all their skills to defeat this new foe. NOT related to Straye's Forward Unto Dawn.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 13 - Words: 50,321 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 10/8/2007 - Master Chief/John-117, Cortana
Operation: Comenza Nuovo by Zero612 reviews
In the year 2556 Humans and Sangheili have finally created a solid alliance. Now with a new threat having been discovered, Arbiter and Lord Hood have created a new, mixed, squad of soldiers to instill unity between both races, and fight this new threat.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,771 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/1/2011 - Published: 8/8/2011
The Best Courier Ever by 0XMethodX0 reviews
A story for everyone who was ever encountered poorly written Oc's and lived to tell the tale.
Fallout - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,243 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 18 - Published: 9/28/2011 - Vulpes Inculta, Courier - Complete
Waypoint by Mariah Kechum reviews
Post SSM. The Normandy is due to arrive at Illium for R&R and to celebrate Ashley's life. When Mommy Shepard and Daddy Vakarian enter the mix, Garrus and Shepard are caught in the middle of a microcosm of turian-human relations in Citadel space. Complete.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 49,531 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Garrus V., J. Garson - Complete
Cultural Differences by Mini Boss Majoring reviews
One-shots during ME1 and ME2. With several species on the Normandy, it was rather obvious that differences between them would be mistaken at times. Continuing.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 26,701 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 9/19/2011 - Published: 8/12/2011
Surrender by Dasque reviews
Answer to Cheeky Monkey Challenge: A "Real" Happy Ending for Warden & Alistair. So I've gone and given away the ending. Hope you like it, anyway ;
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,682 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Alistair, Mahariel - Complete
The Sleeping Casket by S058 reviews
The SR-2 discovers a abandoned ship. The Ship's name: Forward Unto Dawn.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 39,335 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 2/18/2010 - Master Chief/John-117, Shepard
Wings of Icarus by Arc Trader reviews
Project Overlord. As a Cerberus experiment to control the geth spirals wildly out of control, John Shepard, Tali'Zorah, and Legion find they are the only beings who can stop an insane VI from destroying all life in the Milky Way. Final author's notes up.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 34,565 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/27/2011 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Shepard, Tali'Zorah - Complete
The God of Death by Tyrant of the East reviews
The Death Spectres of the Adeptus Astartes have served the Imperium for nine thousand years. They are the thin line of resistance between eternal damnation and humanity. Now, one Space Marine finds himself stranded on a world called Azeroth.
Crossover - Warhammer & Warcraft - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 46 - Words: 273,118 - Reviews: 1480 - Favs: 1,461 - Follows: 1,251 - Updated: 2/4/2011 - Published: 1/17/2010
The Enemy of My Enemy by Katsuhiro reviews
"Of all the conflicts recorded in the latter stages of the Human-Covenant War, perhaps one of the most interesting was that which occured on the Outer Colony Crassus, c.Nov.2552. Interesting, and with an entirely unexpected outcome.." ONI Case-File 428/
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 115,331 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 822 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Madgod reviews
The Arena Champion finds the taste of victory one too bitter to swallow, while an endangered land calls for a hero. Will a gladiator in search of redemption be the saviour that the Shivering Isles needs, or will the Greymarch triumph once more? Shivering Isles AU fic, T for violence, general wierdness and a shoggoth.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 58,648 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/14/2013 - Published: 11/16/2012 - Sheogorath
Once Upon a Time in New Vegas reviews
Money? Money never changes. This the tale of Anston and Co, and the rise and fall of the most famous, glamorous and deadly mercenary company in the history of the Mojave Wasteland. Alternate New Vegas plotline.
Fallout - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,765 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/3/2013 - Published: 2/15/2013
The Matryoshka Child reviews
They thought it would be a standard job; get to the dig site, sweep the area and dig up what tech they could. But one archeologist and a pair of SPARTAN-IV Commandos discover that this job is a lot more complicated than that; an ancient being still calls it home, and it struggles to be set free. Set beteen Halo 3 and 4, minor spoilers for Halo 4, T for violence and some swearing.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,711 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 11/9/2012
Reaper Man reviews
Noble Team fight through a district of Quezon in their hunt for an Insurrection agent. One-shot, rated M for some strong language and strong, bloody violence.
Halo - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,521 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Published: 11/7/2012 - Emile-A239/Noble Four
The Obsidian God reviews
The tale of an archeological expedition to an uncharted moon
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,106 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/20/2012 - Published: 9/11/2012
Dragonbored reviews
When Alduin comes and doom threatens Nirn, it takes a true hero to rise and stand against such a terrible threat. Unfortunately, the people of Skyrim don't have a true hero to defend them. They've got...the next best thing.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,307 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 9/9/2012 - Published: 8/10/2012 - Dragonborn/Dovahkiin
Tales from the Dark Millennium reviews
A collection of one-shots for the 40K universe. T for violence in some, may vary.
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,241 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 1/13/2012
Just Another Day in the Neighbourhood reviews
One-shot written for the competition run by Sterella; just a day in the life of a UNSC base. T for some language, that being English.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,929 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2012
Angels of the Storm reviews
The Reapers have come, doom threatens the galaxy and it is time for Malleus Scandarum and his brothers to stand firm and face the oncoming storm. ME3 Specfic, sequel to Hammerhand, complete.
Crossover - Warhammer & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 65 - Words: 195,460 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 497 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 2/10/2011 - Space Marines - Complete
The Trouble with Being a Dragon Priest reviews
Just a bit of fun. One-shot.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,593 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/7/2012 - Complete
Hammerhand reviews
Honour the Chapter, honour the Emperor, honour the Imperium. Easy oaths to keep when in a world you can understand. Far, far harder, when a place steeped in heresy calls for aid and duty forces your hand to answer.
Crossover - Warhammer & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 37 - Words: 112,150 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 749 - Follows: 378 - Published: 2/5/2011 - Complete
