List your twelve favorite Twilight Characters in no particular order:

1. Rosalie

2. Edward

3. Seth

4. Jane

5. Felix

6. Charlie

7. Carlisle

8. Jasper

9. Kate

10. Leah

11. Billy

12. Mike

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before?

Charlie, Billy. I'm sure there are some, but I've never read any.

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot?

Maybe...;).

3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant?

Mike got Jasper pregnant? Oh, my...

4) Do you recall any fics about nine?

Kate. Again, I haven't read any, but I'm sure there are.

5) Would two and six make a good couple?

Edward and Charlie? Oh...well, if they wanted to scare Bella shitless, yeah.

6) Five/Nine or five/ten?

Felix and Kate or Felix and Leah. Felix and Kate, because, well, they're the same species.

7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve having sex?

If Carlisle walked in on Edward and Mike having sex...well, he'd probably explode or implode, something like that. By the way, I was cracking up with this one.

8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic.

Simple enough, Seth and Leah. A normal brother and sister are suddenly BAM werewolves. I think up more creative stuff. Or you could just read the Twilight saga.

9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff?

Rosalie and Jasper. I'm sure there's some adopted twin stuff.

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic

LOL Carlisle and Mike. Carlisle hit Mike with his Mercedes and then...comforted him. So, title: Oops, I Didn't See You There.

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to de-flower one?

Jane de-flower Rosalie? Well, it would start out with I Kissed A Girl...

12) Does anyone on your friends list read three?

Seth. No clue.

13) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven?

Billy. Hell, I don't know.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five?

Edward, Jane, Felix? Sure...?

15)What might ten scream at a great moment of passion?

Uh, Leah? How am I supposed to no this stuff?

16)If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use?

Jasper. Where Is The Love? by the Black-Eyed Peas ;)

17) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Rosalie, Charlie, Mike. Warning: Think before reading this.

18) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two?

Leah and Edward. Would never happen, but "I'll eat the kid, you ditch the wife."

I've never really embraced these thingys, but this one had so many enticing possibilities. Enjoy it, for what it's worth.

L8R

(Murtagh, Fang, Carlisle, Bruce, Tony and Draco are playing poker)

Bruce: Ha! You silly child! I have you now!!

(Draco glares at him)

Tony: Bruce, you ever heard of a poker face? Utilize it.

(Bruce glares at him)

Murtagh: (to Fang, showing his cards to him) What does this symbol mean?

Fang: (suppresses a laugh)

Murtagh: It's not my fault my father was a murdering Forsworn who didn't teach me how to read!!

(he runs out of the room, crying)

Carlisle: He's been taking this pretty hard...

Draco: Yeah, this whole "captive for life" is sorta stressful...

Bruce: (startling everyone with his exclamation) I'll match your button and raise you a chocolate chip!!

Tony: (scoffs, then whispers) Sucker...

Bruce: Did you say something, Tony?

Tony: Hmm? Oh, no, of course not.

Fang:

Carlisle: Remember when we used to play this with real money?

Draco: (reminisces) Yeah, we could go to the bathroom ourselves back then.

Carlisle: (sighs) Those were the days...

(a commotion breaks out in the other room, and Murtagh bursts in screaming, knocking over Tony)

Tony: (wiping himself up off the floor) You--

Dakota: (from the other room) Ass I was saying, you can't even be here!! This is my mind!! Who let you in?!

Other Voice: You did!! When you said you'd put me in on the profile!!

Dakota: (stumped) Oh...yeah, but you can't have that!!

Other Voice: Mwahahahaha!! (A/N: That's an evil laugh, by the way ;D) I'm afraid you don't have a choice!!

Dakota: No!!

(the commotion erupts again, coupled with crashes, various explosions, and the like)

Dakota: (gasps) NO!!

Other Voice: Hahahaha!!

Dakota: (sobbing) No!! Not that!! Anything but my voodoo dolls!!

(boys mouth 'Voodoo dolls?' to each other, horrified)

Other Voice: Take me to him!!

Dakota: No!

Other Voice: Take me!!

Dakota: NO!!

Other Voice: TAKE ME!!

Dakota: Gaaaahhh, fine!!

(the door opens to the boys huddling in corner, terrified)

Murtagh: Please, don't kill us!!

Bruce: Mercy!!

Draco: I'm too young to die!!

Tony: I'm too pretty to die!!

Fang:

(all scoff. The Other Person has huge googly (A/N: Spelling?) eyes for...CARLISLE!! She runs toward him, tackling him)

Carlisle: AAAAHHHH!!

Bruce: RAPE!! (A/N: Yikes, sorry, faithful reader whose name is yet to be disclosed ;D)

Tony: Not another one!!

(Murtagh bursts into tears)

Murtagh: I HATE YOU, GALBATORIX!!

(Draco faints)

Fang:

Dakota: He's mine!!

(the Other Person stands up, collecting herself, while Carlisle looks absolutely stunned)

Other Person: Chill out, girly.

(Dakota fumes)

Other Person: (turning back to Carlisle) I'm medicgirl!! You're coming with me!!

Dakota: Uh-uh...he would be mine.

(Carlisle's still absolutely speechless, medicgirl looks ready to burst)

Bruce: Ooookay, ladies...let's break it up.

(they both glare at him)

Tony: Can I just cut in here? Yeah, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Draco: (prodding Carlisle) I don't think he's ok...

Dakota: See? You killed him!! He's a very fragile being that only I understand.

medicgirl: Whatever!!

Murtagh: Guys--

Dakota: I swear, if anything happened to him, I'll--I'll--I'll sue!!

medicgirl: Oh, now I'm scared.

Bruce: Guys--

Dakota: Look!! You stained his perfectly good shirt with that terrible shade of lipstick!!

medicgirl: Ah! How dare you--

Tony: Guys--

Dakota: You've scarred him for life!!

medicgirl: Why, you little--

Fang: YOU GUYS!! Yes, we know how infatuated you are with Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He's smart, he's handsome, he's blond, but he's dying!! If you really care about him, you'll put aside your differences and SAVE HIM!! Don't you see? Our problems cannot be solved by violence, or harsh words, or cat-fights, or--Dakota! Knives count as violence!

(Dakota gets all sad)

Fang: Dakota, you must realize, the only way we can save him is if we GET ALONG!!

(gasps)

Fang: medicgirl, you have to understandhow all these lovers must be getting to him. He has a wife, children, Dakota, and now you. How confusing this must be!! And I'm sorry, but Dakota was here first.

(medicgirl looks pissed, Dakota grins)

Fang: Ladies, as he lay dying, ask yourself this simple question (tearing up): What would Jesus do?

Bruce: Holy hell...

Tony: Fang...you feelin' alright, buddy?

(Draco faints)

Murtagh: (crying) My god, that was beautiful!!

Fang: Thank you.

(he smiles, bowing his head)

Dakota: Okay--sniffle--medicgirl? I think we need to put aside our differences and--sniffle--save our love.

medicgirl: You're--sniffle--right. Let's do this!

Random Narrator Guy: And so it was, the two-completely-and-totally, way-too-obsessed fangirls became friends and worked together to save the life of their beloved. They became a very awkward threesome. (A/N: At least I'm embarrassing myself as much as you, medicgirl ;D)

Draco: God?

Tony: Who was that?!

Bruce: Where did we get a narrator?!

Murtagh: It's Galbatorix!!

(he, again, runs away crying)

Dakota: Um, I kinda got one...

medicgirl: Wow!! That's awesome!!

Dakota: I know, right?!

(they continue off in a girly conversation)

Narrator: And yet, Carlisle was still dying.

Fang: Oh, right...

A/N: Yeah, that would be the longest profile I've done!! And I wrote it all in one night!! Actually, I was almost done with it and then someone exited out of my internet...and poof! It was gone...needless to day, I was pretty pissed. However, I'm very pleased with the results!!

medicgirl, I love ya, girl! She has read TONS of my stories, therefore got to be embarrassed in my profile! ;D...read! Please!!

So there you go!!

L8R

Dakota: (sings) Bum-bum-bee-dum-bum-bum-bee-dum-bum...shake shake shake shake a-shake it...MY THOUGHTS YOU CAN'T DECODE!!

(Fang, Carlisle, Bruce, Tony, and Draco file in, evading notice)

Dakota: I. Don't. Care. What you think as long as it's about me...STACY'S MOM!!

Carlisle: (clears throat) Dakota--

Dakota: So what?! I'm still a rock star...

Bruce: Uh...Dakota?

Dakota: I. Am. Iron Man!!

Tony: Hell yes!!

(Dakota comes back to reality)

Dakota: Oh...hey guys...what are you doing in my room?

Draco: You called us in...you had something to tell us...right? (backtracking out of fear)

Fang:

Dakota: Oh yeah!! K, so, after Carlisle's little episode last time--

(everyone but Carlisle smirks, Carlisle scowls)

Dakota: I was thinking...you guys seem kinda lonely, so--

Carlisle: YOU'RE GONNA LET US FREE?!

(hope rises on their faces)

Dakota: Psh! No, silly! I'd never do that to my preciouses! (A/N: Yeah, that is a word :)) (grabs Carlisle cheek, he's repulsed) No, I've captured a new friend for you guys!

Bruce: Uh-oh...

Tony: Poor soul...

(Draco looks terrified)

Fang:

Dakota: Okay, sweety, come in!!

(a dude with black hair and who is quite SMEXY enters, looking petrified)

Dakota: K, boys, this is...drum roll please...MURTAGH!!

(everyone stares, Murtagh faints)

Carlisle: Oh, jeez...

Bruce: Hey, man you're the doctor...go do--doctory stuff.

Tony: (taking his pulse) Nah, I think he's okay...at least he's still got a pulse...

Draco: (after a couple of minutes) You sure he's not dead?

Dakota: Oh, I know! He needs a kiss from his true love!!

Everyone but Dakota: NOOOOO!!

Carlisle: That would not be the best course of action!!

Bruce: He'd die!!

Tony: Remember what happened when you tried that on Draco?

(Draco pales)

Fang:

Dakota: Jeez, you'd think you guys are jealous or something...which, of course, you are.

(everyone looks horrified)

Carlisle: (after an awkward pause) Hey...I think he's coming around.

Murtagh: Uuugggghhhh. Where...where am I?

Bruce: It's sad when the innocent must suffer this fate...

Tony: I know...I mean, why must I suffer?

Draco: Would you like a laundry list, Tony?

Tony: Smart-ass...

Fang:

Dakota: Aw, isn't he just precious?!

(awkward glances, Dakota drools)

Murtagh: All I remember is...bright lights...needles...rope...salami...

Carlisle: Salami?

(everyone wears disgusted looks)

Bruce: Don't even ask...

Dakota: (stops drooling) Oh!! I had something else to say!!

Tony: Here we go...

Dakota: I am pleased to announced that gab4eva24 (A/N: Sorry for putting you in here, but I'm just so happy that it needs to be memorialized :D)has read 3 OF MY STORIES!!

Draco: Gasp!!

Fang:

Dakota: I know!! I think she's like my twin...she likes Iron Man and Batman (the Animated Series even!!) and she read my horror/angst stuff!! I love you, gab4eva24!! I've already told you that but I want the world to know!! Sniffle...oh, but not in lesbian way, though I respect that lifestyle. (A/N: Again, sorry...)

Carlisle: (dreamy look) Yeah...

(awkward silence and gazes)

Carlisle: What?

Dakota: Oh!! I think my pie's ready! Don't wait up, my lovely little fruit cups!

(she leaves)

Bruce: ...fruit cups?

Tony: ...pie?

Murtagh: Is she usually like this?

Draco: Always...

(Murtagh gulps)

Dakota: (from the other room) Ooooohhh sweet child of mine!!

Fang: Welcome to hell.

A/N: Yup, so there you go! I'm gonna be putting these in sort of a blog form...I just can't get rid of my lovely profiles! :)

Oh, and Murtagh is Murtagh from Eragon...he's gonna be a regular!! That's right, another captive! I'm so damn evil...;D

And then another huge thanks and apology to gab4eva24 who has read, yes, 3 of my stories!! I think it's a miracle. And the rest of you who want to be embarassed on the profile of justice, just read my stories!

L8R

(Dakota comes in carrying some sort of advertising sign, clearly struggling. Everyone looks at her)

Dakota: Good--struggle--day, mates!

(Everyone stares)

Dakota: We have--struggle--something really--struggle--important to do today. (jerks sign through door) Finally! Fewf!

Tony: What...are you doing?

Dakota: The future of advertising, my dear. Come here, I'll show you!

Bruce: We'd rather not--

Dakota: Ok, then!

(begins setting up her sign)

Carlisle: (behind her back) This oughta be good.

Draco: Or really, really bad.

Fang:

(Dakota finishes setting up her sign, puts a sheet over it, clears her throat)

Dakota: Okay...so, this is a monumental achievement on my part--

Tony: (whispered) Bruce, see the Bears game last night?

Bruce: Oh, yeah, they got killed!

Dakota: Ahem...Bruce, Tony, you guys know what happens when you don't listen to me.

(Tony and Bruce look terrified)

Carlisle: (after a pause) ...so what were you saying?

Dakota: Ah, yes...ahem...so I have come up with an ingenious plan to--

Draco: (in a bored voice) Take over the world? ...again?

Dakota (sighs exasperatedly) No, that plan was to rid the world of all you guys' fangirls...except me of course, leaving the world and all the other hot guys to me... (trails off, with an expression of content)

(Everyone stares at her, she doesn't move)

Fang: (coughs conspicuously)

Dakota: (sucking drool back into her mouth) Oh, right. So, ANYway, I have come up with a plan that reflects my brilliance completely...and that plan is to TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MY OTHER STORIES!!

(again, everyone stares blankly)

Dakota: See, I'm usually a pretty angsty writer, you guys know that...I think I've killed most of you, and if I haven't, I'm getting to it.

(they look around with uncomfortable expressions)

Dakota: And I've written like one story that's anything other than that. And guess what? THAT one gets all the reviews! Not that I'm complaining, I mean I love reviews insanely (A/N: Seriously, guys, keep the reviews coming! I love it!) and Boys' Night Out is really fun, but I just think that I have so much more to offer, and I just want you to, y'know, "expand your reading basis". Hell, it wasn't even my favorite story.

Tony: I liked it.

Bruce: Yeah, who woulda thought? The responsible, fatherly doctor gets drunk--

Draco: --dances exotically--

Tony: --can't even recognize his pretty sweet Mercedez--

Bruce: --wants to kill his sons, which, even to a monster like me is pretty cold--

Draco: --and--

Carlisle: Oookay, that's good.

Fang:

Dakota: Yeah, good times, good times...

Carlisle: (glares at her) You wrote the story.

Fang:

Carlisle: WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE SILENT SCOWLING?!

Fang:

Carlisle:

Fang:

Carlisle:

Fang:

Carlisle:

Fang:

Carlisle: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

(storms out of the room, others look after him with disbelieving looks)

Tony: Whoa...

Bruce: Yeah...

Draco: So...what now?

Dakota: I'll just keep going... (rips the sheet of the sign with renewed gusto)

Sign: "READ MY OTHER STORIES"

Dakota: Well?

Tony: It's brilliant.

Bruce: Wow...

Draco: (tearing up) I think it'll work.

Fang:

Carlisle: (from other room) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

Dakota: Do you think he's okay?

Tony: He's fine, but your house might not survive.

Bruce: Hmmmm...

Draco: So, I think what we've been trying to say is: Please read Dakota's other stories...MAYBE she'll put a Harry Potter story up...

Dakota: Okay, okay, it's coming...meanwhile...how would you guys like to sing me a bit of--AEROSMITH!!

Fang: Oh, no...

A/N: Yup, so there you go. PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORIES!! Maybe you'll like 'em, maybe you won't, but it would warm my heart if you'd at least review. My heart is kinda chilly, so warmth would by awesome!

Hope you enjoyed!

L8R

Dakota: (looks around randomly, notices you) Oh, hello! Wow! A visitor! (frantic) Guys? Guys! We have a visitor!!

Carlisle: My god, I think you're right!

Tony: Finally!

Draco: Holy horcruxes!

Fang:

Dakota: ANYway, welcome to my profile!! It's been a while since anyone has penetrated our little world. Yep, it's just me, Carlisle, Tony, Draco, Fang (who wave frantically, mouthing help us! help us!), and--hey! Where's Bruce?

(Bruce wakes up, jumps)

Bruce: Huh? What?

Carlisle: We have visitors!

Bruce: No way! (mouths save us!)

Tony whispers: Bruce, we already got that covered.

Dakota: Got what covered?

Bruce, Carlisle, Draco, and Tony: Nothing!

Fang:

Dakota: Hmmm (suspicious, then brightens)...ok!

(Bruce, Carlisle, Draco, and Tony breathe a sigh of relief)

Dakota: K, so, I'm 14, I'm a girl, I play basketball and hockey...um, let's see, I got all this stuff on a notecard, but since we never get visitors, I didn't bring it... Oh, I think I left it in the back room. Back in a flash!

(She kisses each of them on the cheek, leaving varying expressions of horror.)

Carlisle: (after a few moment of silence) Do you think she's really gone?

Bruce: I don't know, I thought she took that spy camera out...

Draco: I wouldn't trust her...

Tony: Freedom!!

Fang:

(all look around warily)

Draco: (after more silence) I think the coast is clear.

Carlisle: We've been captives here ever since she learned about us. Fang's been here the longest. He doesn't talk much.

(all look at Fang)

Fang:

Tony: She's like that chick in Misery...frankly I'm scared.

Bruce: She's super obsessed with all our actors, too. She digs accents and gorgeous eyes. She hasn't caught them yet...

Draco: Luckies...

Carlisle: You should hear what she wants to be when she grows up...

Tony: An actor, an engineer, or a doctor.

(Draco whimpers)

Fang:

Bruce: You know what the worst thing is?

Carlisle: She makes us...sing. (revolted)

Tony: She's diabolical.

(Draco whimpers)

Fang:

Bruce: Mostly Muse, that's her favorite band.

Carlisle: I can't sing tenor! (shaking)

Tony: But we do sing Iron Man...

Draco: But I don't like Sabbath!

Tony: I do...

(all look at him, like he's an alien)

Tony: What?

Fang:

Bruce: Guys, shh! I think she's coming!

(Dakota comes in)

Dakota: Did you guys miss me?!

(all smile unconvincingly)

Dakota: Aw, don't worry, I won't be gone for that long ever again! I couldn't find it...it was in the toilet for someone reason...ah, well!

(Fang cracks a smile, all look at him)

Dakota: Hmmmm...seeing as I can't read this, I guess we'll just have to present it to them in song form!

(everyone looks horrified)

Fang: Run!

A/N: Oh, yeah, btw...it's Carlisle Cullen from Twilight, Bruce Wayne from Batman, Tony Stark from Iron Man, Draco Malfoy for Harry Potter, and Fang from Maximum Ride. So yeah, that should clear things up a bit. ;D

L8R