AN- Okay, these are going to be a short series of stories on how Roger, Mimi, Collins and Angel (and maybe April) all got AIDS. And listen, if you don't like my take on how they got AIDS then just deal with it, okay? This is what I think. I mean, everyone thinks differently. Just review and let me know in a KIND comment. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's Roger. Next up is either Mimi or Collins. I haven't decided yet. Let me know who you want to see next. Your opinion matters a lot.
Disclaimer- RENT does not belong to me.
I never thought I'd end up with a disease that's going to end my life. I mean, I never though I'd live to be seventy or anything, but I didn't think I'd have to live with a disease that wouldn't let me get married or have a family. I guess, that's what you get for living a life like I did. I was never smart. I was never a good kid. I never listened to my parents or my teachers. Volunteering wasn't my thing. I barely graduated. I was a junkie. And now look at me. I'm going to waste away and have to have someone to take care of me for the rest of my life.
I've got AIDS.
It was the drugs that led to this. I guess I have to accept that. I never really did drugs through high school but Mark will tell you that I have an addictive personality. Mark likes to pretend he's a shrink sometimes. Anyway, I didn't start the drugs by myself. I probably wouldn't have either. But at the time, I was performing every night and I had a girlfriend who I was madly in love with. April. She was my everything at one time.
I didn't even care that she had her problems either. I loved her too much.
Well, maybe if I really loved her, I would've cared.
I would just sit around whenever she'd shoot up. I'd play my guitar while she enjoyed her high and had her crazy moments. But it didn't take long for her to rope me into her rituals.
I remember exactly how it happened. I got curious and asked her how the high felt. She offered me her needle. I accepted.
It was the worst decision I ever made because after that night, I was hooked.
We kept on with the drugs, even though Mark and Collins told us not to. They warned and warned, but I never listened. I ignored my friends, the ones who cared about me. But then again, drugs make you do that. All I cared about was April, and the dope.
You know, everything was fine until I found her in the bathroom. We'd had a fight and I'd went out. When I got back there she was, in the bathtub. She'd split her wrists and left me a simple note.
'We've got AIDS. April.'
The image didn't leave me for months.
The stained yellow paper is still under my mattress, although if Mimi ever finds it I'm sure she'd be just a little freaked out. I'm not sure I can throw it away. I've tried but I always go back for the paper, smooth out the wrinkles and put it back in it's spot. It just can't be done.
Mark's going to have to take care of me forever because of these stupid mistakes I made. God's punishing the both of us I guess. I'm never going to be truly happy with what I've been given.
I've got a best friend who's going to live, a woman I love who's going to die before me, and a disease that's going to eat away at the three of us like a parasite.
That's what AIDS does to you.