Quotes:

"General Population is the faceless mass of real prisoners we fish are always afraid were trying to rape us, and worse, steal our commissary. They were greatly overrated; they never steal commissary." Ted Bundy in a letter to Ann Rule when he was incarcerated in Utah State Prison

"If shat happens, you deserve it." Phrase on a Shat Happens poster

"This lollipop will be up your butt by week's end, you selfish son of a bitch." Foamy the Squirrel

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit." A very knowledgable man

"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned." Milton Friedman

"If money can't buy happiness, have you tried frowning on a jet ski?" A person I do not know but overheard one day

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." Henny Youngman

"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats." Groucho Marx

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." Mark Twain

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs." Alfred Hitchcock

"In today's regulatory environment, it's virtually impossible to violate rules." Bernard Madoff, Oct. 20, 2007, before he admitted to being involved in a Ponzi scheme one year later.

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins." Josh Billings

"A movie star is not an artist, he is an art object." Richard Schickel

"That common cold of the male psyche, fear of commitment." Richard Schikel

"If you can be sued for it, it's probably unethical." Experimental Psychology classmate discussing on what is ethical and what is not.

"Friday is just another day closer to Monday." A pessimistic customor at Starbucks having a bad day.

"I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries." Jules Renard

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you." Katharine Hepburn

"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt." Woodrow Wilson

"Incidentally, why was it that none of all the pious ever discovered psycho-analysis? Why did it have to wait for a completely godless Jew?" Sigmund Freud

"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility." Sigmund Freud

"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'" Sigmund Freud

"What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books." Sigmund Freud

"The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization." Sigmund Freud

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Sigmund Freud regarding interpretation of dreams

"I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do." Will Rogers

"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth." Will Rogers

"Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans." Will Rogers

"If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people!" bumper sticker

"Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful." Chuck Norris Fact from chucknorrisfacts . com

"I love you like I love going to Hell and I like going there." Clinical Psychology professor

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." Orson Welles

"Do I have a schema? Yeah, it's all about monkeys!" Clinical Psychology professor

"Everything that feels good is either illegal, immoral, or fattening." Unknown

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers." Rudyard Kipling

"I'm not going to waste your time. I'm going to tell you things you can write down. My favorite dish is chicken lo mein. That saves you a question." Mel Brooks in an interview

"I tied my shoes once; it was an overrated experience." James Earl Jones in "Coming to America"

"Horton is not a book about abortions. These notions are distortions; they're heaping portions of deciduous contortions piled high with a side of whamdiddly dodortions." Dr. Seuss talking about radical pro-lifers using "Horton Hears a Who" as a means to rally other pro-lifers to their cause.

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." Groucho Marx

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!" "Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu." Matt and Trey responding to their episode "Trapped in the Closet" being temporarily pulled from re-runs.

"People who boast about their IQ are losers." Stephen Hawking

"I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice." Kurt Rambis

"All I know is that I am not a Marxist." Karl Marx

"In science it often happens that scientists say 'you know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." Carl Sagan

How You Know You are an American

1. you type your e-mail password into the microwave.

2. you haven't played solitare with real cards in years.

3. the reason you don't keep in touch with your friends is because they don't have a myspace or e-mail account.

4. you'd rather look all over the house for the t.v. remote than to just get up and push the button.

6. even your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

7. as you read this list, you just smile and nod.

8. you are thinking about sending this to your friends.

9. you were too busy to notice that there is no #5.

10. you just looked up to see if there really was no number 5.

11. now you are laughing at your own stupidity.

12. put this on your profile if you fell for it. and I know you did!\

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.