Maggot Magnethide bio
 Author has written 16 stories for Team Fortress 2, and Carmen Sandiego, 2019. HEY YOU! I still update this account regularly, though. FAQ: Who are you? FAQ: Where else can I find you? FAQ: What's the deal with your weirdo name? FAQ: What's your avatar supposed to be? FAQ: Waitwaitwait...you have ships? FAQ: I'm free next Wednesday. Wanna go get tacos? | |||||||
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Teufort Tales by TalkingTopHat reviews
A bunch of short stories featuring the RED team and the Invisible Inaudible Immaterial Unsmellable Woman. (See if you can spot her.) No fictional characters were harmed during the making of these stories. Well, not permanently anyway.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,930 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/23/2016 - Published: 5/8/2015
That Thing in the Basement by AbandonedRookery reviews
Engineer found something in the basement of the BLU base. But things start going downhill when he gets Medic onboard.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,575 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/26/2015 - Published: 4/22/2015 - Engineer, Medic - Complete
The Bet by EnderGirl reviews
Spy and Sniper always seem to be at odds over something, but what happens when they try to outdo each other in the area of...willpower? May contain sleepiness, wrench-related cranial injuries, and one very pissed off Scout. ONE-SHOT!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,346 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/19/2015 - Complete
Freddy Fazbear's Jizzeria by FuckmanJenkins reviews
Now we know why Mike Schmidt kept coming back every night. (I started writing this before FNAF 2 came out)
Five Nights at Freddy´s - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,134 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/30/2014
I See Fire by Deslock reviews
Following the RED mercenaries from the first day they met, this is a story of how nine troubled strangers with a thousand different secrets fight side by side and become the band of brothers we know them as so well today. IN HIATUS.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,766 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 10/8/2014 - Published: 6/27/2014 - Engineer, Medic, Pyro
Team Foreplay 2 by elitetaco31 reviews
The scout finds himself in quite the sticky (hehe) situation as a hangover lands him in a chaotic love triangle, along with creating havoc for the RED team on their week off. Will Scout find love? I dunno. Or do I?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,134 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/14/2014
Russian Blue by Jaxson The Great reviews
Scout's got himself a little friend.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/31/2014
Shooting Lessons by Jaxson The Great reviews
Scout has a little free time and asks Sniper to show him how to shoot a rifle. But things are not always as they seem...
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,259 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2014
Don't Drink the Water by Galaxy Little reviews
It was the final round. The BLUs were down to three people but the REDs stayed at a strong nine. BLU team's Sniper and Medic were down, and their Scout was struggling to survive. Only one point was left to cap, which RED team's Pyro was taking care of. They were going to finish up for the day, until the RED's Medic got an idea. (Medic/Everyone fanfic - mainly for humor purposes)
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,941 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/14/2014 - Published: 6/19/2014
Team Fortress 2: Defending the Day by SubtleDissonance reviews
The Team must save the day from the forces of evil like Snipers.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,631 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/3/2014 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Pyro, Scout, Sniper, Soldier
Detective Heavy on the Case by Teddster reviews
'Oh my GOD! WHO TOUCHED SASHA?" It took a moment for the mercenaries to realize they were doomed.'
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/5/2014 - Heavy - Complete
Auf Wiedersehen by MamaLuigitheDonutGal reviews
Medics are seldom respected by their teams, and the RED Medic of Goldrush is no exception.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 564 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Published: 5/29/2014 - Medic - Complete
A Duet Without a Duo Pt 1 by Rainy Daze Writer reviews
"Spy could scarcely believe it. He had finally discovered Medic's secret. He spent most evenings strolling around the base while cloaked and listening to people's conversations. He had heard many a secret from the rest of the team, but he had yet to hear anything about the elusive doctor that was not freely told." BLU Spy/BLU Medic. [Maybe rated M later]
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,886 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/28/2014 - [Medic, Spy] Heavy
Tales of Teufort by MissMarvelous13 reviews
A series of oneshots about the life of the RED team during their downtime.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/15/2014
Shpo Ugh's adventure by cjimmy99 reviews
Shpo Ugh goes on a brief but exciting adventure.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/9/2014 - Heavy, Scout, Spy - Complete
The Last Fruitrollup: A TF2 Epic by Critt Bombney 2012 reviews
Scout is growing young man. He is a boy of hunger. For weeks he has yearned for first dibs on the pantry. Now is his chance.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,816 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/27/2013 - Published: 11/26/2012 - Scout
Once More With Feeling by JaneGray reviews
They found him strung up in front of the enemy base.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,710 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/3/2013 - Demoman, Medic, Soldier - Complete
Health Inspection by FuckmanJenkins reviews
When Miss Pauling tells Medic that he has to give everyone a Health Inspection, Medic takes away everyone's beer and cigarettes! Now Heavy has to seduce him in order to get them back.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,455 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/15/2013 - Engineer, Heavy, Medic, Scout - Complete
Mama Solly by Pwnie reviews
The american mercenary faces an unlikely scenario involving his own body.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,118 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/30/2013 - Published: 1/31/2013 - Soldier, The Administrator - Complete
Personality Flip by ThisStatementIsFalse reviews
Merasmus did something wrong here… the RED mercs all have inverted personalities! Stuff goes down! Spinoff in the Misadventures of the RED Team series
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,320 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 6/16/2013 - Complete
Oil and Soda by ashford2ashford reviews
Collaboration Work between myself and Sakanoue. RED Scout and RED Engineer enjoy a night in. Warning: Sexxins ahead.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,275 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Engineer, Scout - Complete
Scout Needs To Get a Job by nooneokay reviews
He throws a temper tantrum.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Scout - Complete
1 Sniper 1 Jarate by nooneokay reviews
Sniper has some fun with his jar.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/24/2013 - Sniper - Complete
Pyro, Where Are You! by nooneokay reviews
Pyro and the gang, traveling by Sniper's groovy camper, solve the mystery of Merasmus in some mountain villa (no, not really).
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,016 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2013 - Merasmus - Complete
Harm and Harmony by BlizzardWatch reviews
When Scout lies to his Ma, the BLU team is left in a desperate scramble to put together a concert of folk music. Out of their depth, out of patience, and out of coffee, it will take everything they've got to switch from inflicting harm to singing in harmony in time for the show.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,248 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 1/10/2013
A Dove's Demise by Jinny the Kisaragi reviews
Medic makes a devastating discovery after what seemed like a normal day on the battlefield. One shot, not related to Adventures with BLU so don't get too worried. ARCHIMEDES X HYPPOLITA OTP SUPPORTERS PREPARE TO HATE ME.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,571 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/20/2012 - Medic - Complete
Off Duty by NaruYasha352 reviews
Red Sniper and Blu Spy work out some post-battle tension after ceasefire.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,422 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2012 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
A Series of Tragedies by NaruYasha352 reviews
They will make you cry every time.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,097 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/19/2012 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
Misadventures Of The RED Team by ThisStatementIsFalse reviews
The REDs were idiots and lost their base to the BLU team. Now, they're still idiots, but they want their base back.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 18,522 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 10/12/2012 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Complete
The Hideous and Disgusting Mary-Sue Queen of the RED Team by Duyouk reviews
Capella Annabelle Sugarprincess Emo Twilight Bella Swan Jessabella Nicole Abused-by-parents-as-a-child Granger is the RED Soldier's adopted Mary-Sue daughter. She's beautiful, misunderstood and unique, three qualities of most other Mary-Sues. How will the RED team handle her when she makes a surprise visit?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 917 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/5/2012
A Soldier's Best Friend by gsppcrocks10 reviews
When Soldier goes to visit town after a long week of Dustbowl, he runs into an unexpected companion. Glorious misadventures ensue.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,464 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/19/2012 - Published: 9/14/2012 - Soldier
Take it like a Moose by Beckerifical reviews
A short piece; Spy, Engie, and Heavy chatting after a battle. Plus moose facts.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Spy - Complete
Potshot by Balloon Animal reviews
A short story about Medic's strange surgical instruments. Scout thinks some people should just stick with stamp collecting.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 989 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/4/2012 - Medic, Scout - Complete
Crossdressing Fortress by Balloon Animal reviews
Soldier trials a new method to whip his men into shape. Will lace panties and satin skirts really unleash the warrior within? Read and find out.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,638 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 7/31/2011
Trouble by MarshMarigold88 reviews
Scout gets into trouble. Crackfic as in hell to the yeah.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 329 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Scout - Complete
Mother's Day by dwwfanfic reviews
Sniper has a difficult phone call to make...some Sniper/Spy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 914 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Sniper, Spy
When the Medic Isn't Doing His Job by Medikit reviews
RED Medic gets sick and needs some comfort. Well, the team doesn't feel epathetic. So they call his wife. Shenanigans ensue. Be sure to drop a review, it helps improve the story with your feedback!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,495 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Medic
Sniper Adventures by Dogs Bower reviews
Sniper has an adventure.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/19/2012 - Sniper - Complete
Bartering with Bushmen by PancakeSandvich reviews
BLU Sniper enjoys a little alone time with RED Spy. Oneshot, bloodplay. Possible followup later if Roommate demands.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,621 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/12/2012 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
Hidden by dwwfanfic reviews
Oh woops I accidentally smut...A bit hurried, for a friend, figured I should upload it. My very first published dicks! Also the Administrator is kind of in this story.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,036 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Sniper, Spy
Borderline by Roxal reviews
Why Heavy follows Medic's every whim. Warnings: Sex. DomSub. Status: One-shot. MedicHeavy
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,342 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/11/2011 - Medic, Heavy - Complete
Dear Diary by alexgmich reviews
PWP. As told by Scout.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Medic, Heavy
Memories by Hiyume reviews
Autobalance is a strange thing... they'd always feared it would screw up. But not like this. SniperxScout. Rated mostly for language. -Complete-
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,020 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/5/2011 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Sniper, Scout - Complete
Sunday Service by alexgmich reviews
PWP. Something I thought up while, well, in church. Might offend some hardcore Christians, just putting it out there.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
If You Give a Solider a Betty Crocker Recipe by The Crazed Artist reviews
There is a reason why Engineer never allows Soldier into the kitchen anymore... Warning: Contains some minor cursing, a bit violence, and the destruction of cookware.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 771 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Engineer, Soldier
ENGI AND THE MEDIC AND THE AUSPENSER by turntechGodhead reviews
oh no! there is alot of strife here! engi has problems w/ a certain depenser! shock there are 100000000000 twists plz read rate plzzz!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Engineer, Medic - Complete
I LUV U HEAVYKUN! heavyxmedic by XxXHinataDockingXxX reviews
in m,y fic, heavy and medic fall in love and have smex! rated M for sexy!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 808 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Medic - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
VILE Orders Pizza For Dinner reviews
When the Faculty realizes Dr. Bellum never placed their sushi order, they resort to very desperate measures. A crazy, funny romp...involving Zack & Ivy too!
Carmen Sandiego, 2019 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,761 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/28/2019
Scout's Latest Addiction reviews
Scout buys a pager and cannot stop texting. Uh oh. (Comedy-action with sweet moments!)
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,309 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/3/2019 - Published: 6/14/2015 - Medic, Scout, Soldier, Spy
Ten Cents reviews
Medic and Heavy have no money, no gas, and no way to escape the gas station. Time to take drastic measures.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,297 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/25/2014 - Heavy, Medic - Complete
A Story About Bookstores reviews
After accidentally allowing Scout to accompany him to the bookstore, Engineer is forced to cope with the annoying bastard for a day.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,046 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/25/2012 - Published: 11/4/2012 - Scout, Engineer - Complete
Every Engineer's Gameplay Strategy reviews
This is a long limerick, but its meaning wounds me to the quick: it's about Engineers that cannot build good gears, and that is the point of this fic.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 592 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/24/2012 - Engineer - Complete
Soldier Tells Us His Methods of Seduction reviews
After buying a typewriter, Soldier writes us a tried-and-true tutorial on how to get the merc you want.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 877 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/10/2012 - Soldier - Complete
How Blackmailing is Performed in France reviews
THEY SCREW AT THE END
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Sniper, Spy
Sherlock Scout the Defective Detective reviews
RED finds out Sniper's biggest secret, all thanks to a media-influenced young Bostonian and his muffly arsonist buddy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,505 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 9/22/2012 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Scout, Pyro
Scout Gets a Shave reviews
Scout, who has no facial hair whatsoever, had a new goal in life that morning; to be a man. He also faces instant karma.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,391 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/26/2012 - Scout - Complete
Engineer's Peanut Allergy reviews
Engineer gets a care package. /Brought to you by the makers of Lestoil./
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,626 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Engineer, Soldier
Diners reviews
Sniper and Scout are due to drive a bit out west for some more ammo, but Scout gets hungry on the way.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,086 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Sniper, Scout
Water Boiler reviews
Scout breaks the water boiler, thus sending a metaphorical bottomless void into the daily lives of the REDs we all know and love. Fit.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,202 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/11/2012 - Published: 7/2/2012 - Scout
Scout Finds a Butterfly reviews
This is a wonderous oneshot about how Scout met his insect pal, Jimbob.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/7/2012 - Scout
Scout Wonders What the Hell Sex Is reviews
Seriously, what the hell IS that? I'm serious. Seriously. Wheeze wheeze.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,780 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Scout - Complete
TF2 GOES TO DISNEY WORLD reviews
Scout the freakin' douchebag finally gets a idea and the team actually does it even though they all hate him
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,562 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Scout
Scout Decides to Grow Balls reviews
This took years to perfect, you're all jealous
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,460 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/12/2012 - Scout
