I am SO sorry that I haven't updated in AGES, I have had writers block for all of my stories but I am working on a new Harry Potter one based on the marauders era, I am planning on trying to write as much of it as I can before posting chapters.

Also I have stopped writing my Twilight FanFiction, I have lost all inspiration for it, sorry to those who were ready and enjoying it.

I'm gonna start with thank you to all those who have reviewed, favourited or alerted to my stories. I really appreciate it.

I absolutely 100% love Merlin the TV series, hence the fan fic. I also love Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Pirates of the Caribbean, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Robin Hood, Demons, Primeval and some others I can't remember right now.

Some of my favourite music is by artists like The Wanted, The Jonas Brothers, Westlife, Joe McElderry (a true Geordie!), Take That (with and without Robbie), Lady Gaga, Cheryl Cole, and pretty much any artist/artists that I take a fancy to their music.

I am a Primevalian. We are rare and close to extinction but are slowly spreading into the hearts of civilians. If you are a Primevalian - copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wished you could either own or star in Primeval copy and paste this onto your profile.

Oh and I recommend watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJtIPi0Nb60&feature=BF&list=PLDBAA1376EB30F66C&index=2 it is called the Joker Blogs and, well watch and see it is amazing.

Favourite Quotes

Sherlock

Sherlock: The game, Mrs Hudson, is on

Dr John Watson: Who are you? What do you do?
Sherlock Holmes: I'm a consulting detective. The only one in the world - I invented the job.
Dr John Watson: What does that mean?
...Sherlock Holmes: It means when the police are out of their depth - which is always - they consult me

Sherlock Holmes: Shut up!
DI Lestrade: I didn't say anything.
Sherlock Holmes: You were thinking. It's annoying.

Sherlock Holmes: Try not to start a war before I get home - you know what it does to the traffic.

Sherlock Holmes: I need to get some air - we're going out tonight.
Dr John Watson: Actually, I've got a date.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
Dr John Watson: It's where two people who like each other go out and have fun?
Sherlock Holmes: That's what I was suggesting.
Dr John Watson: ...No, it wasn't. At least I hope not.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Elizabeth: This is the fastest ship in the Caribbean.
Anamaria: You can tell them that after they've caught us

[as they are attempting to commandeer the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: Don't be alarmed, we're taking over the ship.
Will Turner: [lunges with his sword] AYE! AVAST!
[Jack stares at him as all the British sailors burst out laughing]

Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [greedily] No!
Tia Dalma: Then it helps.

Jack Sparrow: [after searching the shattered jar of dirt for Davy Jones' heart] Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?

Barbossa is giving orders and Jack repeats the order]
Barbossa: What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are *you* doin'?
Barbossa: No, what *are* you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are *you* doin'?
Barbossa: *No!* What *are* you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are *you* doin'? Captain gives orders on the ship.
Barbossa: The captain of the ship *is* givin' orders.
Jack Sparrow: My ship, makes me captain.
Barbossa: They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow: Well, that makes you
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: chartman.
Pintel: Stow it! Both of you! That's an order! Understand?
[Jack and Barbossa stare at him]
Pintel: Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration, sorry.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] I'd vote for you.

Mullroy: [as Jack is taking his effects] There has definitely been a breakdown in discipline aboard this vessel.
Murtogg: I blame the fish-people.
Mullroy: [Sarcastically] Ohh, so fish-people, by dint of being fish-people are less disciplined than non-fish-people?
Murtogg: [as Jack is taking the chest] It seems contributory.
Murtogg: Of course, if there were no fish-people, then there would be no need to guard the chest.
Mullroy: And if there were no chest, then we wouldn't need to be here to guard it.
[both realise that the chest is gone and the apparent danger they're in]

Parrot: [after having gun pointed at him by Jack the Monkey] Parlay?

Haha love some of those.

At the moment I am having writer's block so it may take a lot longer than usual to update most stories.

Chain thingy's

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you think Homopohobia is wrong and should be stopped!

I hate when people steorotype. If you do to copy and paste this on to you're profile and the bold are the ones that are you!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz (o.o)
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER.
I don't like talking about HOME LIFE so I MUST BE GETTING ABUSED.
I wear my HEART on my sleeve so I MUST be a WEAKLING

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Laughs but keeps on walking, while saying, "walk much?"

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Cinderella walked on broken glass
Sleeping Beauty let a whole life time pass
Belle fell in love with a beast
Jasmine chose a poor man
Ariel spent her life on land
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….
….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…
...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…
…Who fought bravely to the very end….
…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…
…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…
… with many jokes…
...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…
…Who was more free and full of love…
...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….
...the last real Marauderer...
…who was not just a wonderful father…
….a incredible husband and brave hero…
...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…
…who died for ‘the greater good’…
...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….
…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…
...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvolo Riddle/Voldemort….
…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…
…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…
…whose past and wisdom confused us…
…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…
…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...
...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…
… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!
She deserved everything she got and more.

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…who we really didn’t know too well…
…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…
…so he must’ve done something good…
…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…
...Harry's actual first friend…
...who lived and died soaring

...In Remembrance to Sirius Black...
...Who never got to walk free...
...Who had to live with a crazy house elf and screaming portrait for a year...
...And who had to get killed by a curtain.

If you went to save Jack Sparrow just because you missed him, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile.

People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you you think real vampires don't glitter add this to your profile.

If you or your best friend(s) is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

90 of teens today would die if Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile. (Jumping, by golly, gee wilikers!)

If you ever watched a movie so many times you know all the words to it then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile!

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, shadowkat 2701,Afw,charmedcrazy14, charmedbaby11, thesistersthree, Charmedn1, KittyKat835, DethRose, Ying-Fa-Dono, My Purple Skies, rowellylovesgryffindor

If you miss Steve Irwin, Heath Ledger, copy this into your profile.

If you wish you could meet the Joker and survive a chat, copy this into your profile.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: I'm God's gift to women.
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.

Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"