Date Posted: 7th May 2010
A/N - My first fic peoples, so please be a bit more lenient. This entire fic is mostly just comedy.
Disclaimer: I do not own HP. JK Rowling does. If I did, I would not be publishing here nor would I have such crap English.
"Please Lily? Just one date. One date is all I ask,"
"No! Get it through that thick empty skull of yours Potter. I. Do. NOT. Like. You."
"So that's a maybe?"
"Arghh! I am so gonna hex you to next Tuesday. No, Friday! A no is a no! Now get off your arse and go do something useful like jumping off the Astronomy Tower or something!"
"So if I jump of the Astronomy Tower you'll kiss me?"
"Sod off, Potter! I'd rather kiss the boys toilet seat before I kiss you!"
James had a look for contemplation for a moment; right before his eyes lit up...and transfigured himself into a toilet seat.
"So you'll kiss me now?"
Everyone in the common room stared at him with a strange concoction of disgust, shock and incredibility. Remus just shook his head in shame and wondered why he was bestfriends with such an idiot whilst Sirius was trying to flirt with yet another seventh year.
"You know, hearing a toilet seat asking me to snog him is quite expectably creepy," Lily stated, still staring at James (the toilet seat) looking kinda green.
James transformed back, figuring it was not working.
"I guess you don't exactly want to snog me right now..."
Lily gave James a *you think?* look and Remus started on his book again, thinking James had finally grew some brains.
"So how about you kiss me tomorrow inst-"
*Thump*
James was now on the floor in a fetal position holding on a certain part of his anatomy.
"She aims, she shoots, she scores! James 0, Lily 1," commentated Sirius.
Remus just began banging his head on the table, in disbelief that he had such idiotic clotpoles for bestfriends.
"You know Moony, I don't even know why Prongs is so desperate for Lily anyway. He can get any girl and the school and he has to choose the most violent and temperamental red head in the world. She isn't even that hot anyway. Monnique Greengrass has a much larger set of racks. Lily's aren't even that big an-"
*Thump*
Remus sighed, "James 0, Sirius 0, Lily 2," they were idiots alright. Idiots albeit now probably impotent idiots. What am I gonna do with them?
A/N - Did you like it so far? Please R&R and tell me what you think about it. If there are any mistakes, pls tell me so I can address it. The next chapter will be a bit longer. I'll try to update about once a week.
Thank you very much!