Hola!

IF YOU ARE JUST HERE TO FLAME, I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT! I've also been on thin ice with my parents, so if I'm behind on reading or forgot to review, please forgive and PM me about it. Please check my deviantart account for recent journals if you have any questions. http:///journal/ Copy and paste into your browser.

Criticism, I welcome with with open arms. Flames, will be water bombed. And as I have found out,there are plenty of good uses for them too.

Pen name: I am the second daughter in my family, and love the Narnia books. This seemed to fit.

Religion: Mormon, please don't assume my dad has like fifteen wives because of what you read. He only has one. If you have any questions PM me and I'll tell you.

Age: Between 19 and 21 (20 if you can't figure that out, I fear for the future of mankind.)

Race: White, American, what ever you want to call it!

Gender: Female, (Second DAUGHTER of Eve?)

Place of birth: Alaska, I'm not kidding. That makes you all 48er's (if you live in any other state in the U.S.)

Name: See pen name.

Where I live: AMERICA (If I am American, where else would I live?)

Current emotion: Boredom, tiredness

Fav quote of the moment: "Professor Mcitrick after careful consideration, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks" (from the movie "WarGames", no copyright infringement intended.) AND

"You're a prune."-One of the girls at school, I think she meant prude, but there's no telling, she may have thought I was a wrinkly purple fruit...

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

THE NOBLE AND MOST ESTEEMED ORDER OF THE TOWEL

Greetings, oh followers of Canon and good fiction!

I feel that it is time for those who respect Canon and spelling/grammar to unite under one name, one banner! And that banner, my dears, is a Towel. Yes, a Towel. A fan of Douglas Adams' work would know what I'm talking about. Anyway, the point I am attempting to make is this; those of us who detest bad Mary Sues, can spell and use proper grammar, not to mention write the characters of our chosen Fandom plausably, should unite into one order. This order, in other words, is for those of us who know where our towels are.

If you wish to join the noble and most esteemed Order of the Towel, you must posess a deep love for your Fandom and its Canon. You must also employ good spelling and grammar in your tales. You must love to read and write, and you must harbor a deep hatred for Mary Sues and all that they stand for. You must also E-Mail Doc ten creative uses for a towel as a initiation rite :).

If you feel that you would like to become a Dame or Knight of the Order of the Towel, please send Doc a message with that list of towel uses and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Founding Dame, Doctor Madwoman

June 13, 2007

: Some wiggle room will be allowed in the case of Canon. I mean, come on, it wouldn't be creativity if we all just stuck to the rules, now would it?;)

This is from Doc's profile, PM her everything.

Hobey Ho!

Second Daughter of Eve

There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable. - Robert Smith Surtees

Whoever tells the best story wins. - John Quincy Adams

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Ignorance of the law excuses no man - from practicing it. - Adison Mizner

In almost every case, you have to read between the lies. - Angie Papadakis

A lawyer is a gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself. - Lord Brougham

A man is innocent until proven broke. - Anonymous

I was already a blood sucking parasite, all I needed was a briefcase.- The mosquito from Bee Movie

My funny sayings, well they belong to someone else.

Chocolate, Coffee, and other means of CAFFEINE! 'nuff said.

Sounds like a personal problem.

One by one the lawn gnomes steal my sanity.

Hoo-rah!

You just keep telling yourself that.

I vote no.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Because I'm cool like that.

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

Define normal.

Do you think I'm weird? Don't answer that.

What if weird meant normal and normal meant weird?

Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard was not what I meant.

Worry when I say I don’t need chocolate.

You say you don’t trust me with sharp objects, I ask why not.

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

My mom finds it tiring to worry about me.

Don’t expect anything from me until I’ve had my daily dose of chocolate.

I walk the line between craziness and insanity.

One day, I will be famous. Then all of you will claim to have been my "best friend" once upon a time. But I know who my real friends are. They're the ones who helped me get where I am.

I'm not obsessed. I'm addicted. (This one especially refers to when I'm talking about YW and Twilight related stuff.)

SORRY FOR ANY TWO SAME SAYING OR ANYTHING, PM ME AND I'LL CORRECT IT. )

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd.

If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have a crush on somebody, but you are afraid to say anything about it, then copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. Don't worry, your secret is safe! Greenpool's loyalty, Brooksilver, Catland Creator, HollyluvsArty, Pepper Lemon, Second Daughter of Eve

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile.
If you would donate your kidney in order to get a Harry Potter book, then copy and this on your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro(Chairs, electric fences, apples, ect.)
Copy and paste if you're still waiting for your Hogwarts letter to arrive, the owl just just got lost...
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If your skin is almost always cold...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

93 percent of American teens have an emotional breakdown if someone calls them a freak. copy onto pro if your one of the 7 percent that would say, "what was your first clue?"

if you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If someone put a gun to your head, asked if you believed in God, and told you they would shoot you if you said yes, would you say yes? If you would, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. (usually when I'm reading.)

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have fallen down the "up" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you can’t dance copy this into your profile

If your fashion sense is “is it comfortable?” copy this into your profile

If you often have a bad case of “radio head” copy this into your profile

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile

If you don’t have much luck with technology copy this into your profile

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict Rakasha Shadowfang,KogaxAyame's cub, ccsinuyashaloverjj, ‘loha, Second Daughter of Eve

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.

5 million people are on the internet right now. If you are one of them, copy this onto your profile.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY AND HELP HIM GET WORLD DOMINATION. (Sorry, my bunny fell a part.)

REALLY SAD STORIES! PLEASE AND PASS ON!!REALLY SAD STORIES!! PLEASE AND PASS ON!!REALLY SAD STORIES! PLEASE AND PASS ON!!REALLY SAD STORIES! PLEASE AND PASS ON!!

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter animals in order to prevent unwanted animals. Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet. Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

NOTE FROM DOC AND EVE: Please for the love of all that is sweet and just in this world, TRY to find your pet a good home before dumping them in a shelter! They love us, are loyal to us and are truer friends than any two legger could be! They give us so much; PLEASE TRY TO RETURN THE FAVOR!! If you want to save at least one unwanted pet, copy and paste this into your profile!! PLEASE!!

Try not to Cry

Mommy ... Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, got straight A's, and I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day, I never said goodbye,

I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack, my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear, sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best,

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, and please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one though, deserves this,

But Mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try,

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could,

Please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go with college, I wanted to try things that were new,

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, on that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy, I must go now, the time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel our date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know it's true,

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you."

In memory of the Columbine and Virginia Tech Students

Who were lost

Post this on your profile to HONOR them, and everyone else who dies for someone else's mistake.

I am entirely opposed to any form of stereotyping. We're all different; we can't all fit one mold.

Pick the stereotypes that fit you. Key: Ones with (ME) next to them apply to me.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. (ME)

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a b*. (ME)

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. (ME)

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm WICCA so I MUST be an evil, soulless witch.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. (ME)

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be sleeping with everyone.

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and irresponsible.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a prostitute. (ME)

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (ME)

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking woman.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible woman.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. (ME)

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. (ME)

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all. (ME)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a prostitute. (ME)

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (ME)

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be gay too. (ME)

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. (I’m not, however I do like llamas.)

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. (ME)

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly…or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (ME)

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (ME)

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (ME)

I'm MIXED so I must be messed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. (ME)

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. (ME)

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich. (ME)

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (ME)

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control. (ME)

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a prostitute.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (ME)

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. (ME)

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. (ME)

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. (ME)

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (ME)

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (ME)

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (ME)

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling person. (ME)

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be an over controlling person. (ME)

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be one myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (ME)

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (ME)

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (ME)

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (ME)

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. (ME)

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. (ME)

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. (ME)

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. (ME)

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. (ME)

I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber-sex. (ME)

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies, worship Satan and drink the blood of virgins

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (ME)

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (ME)

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (ME)

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED. (ME)

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast. (ME)

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. (ME)

I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic b*. (ME)

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. (ME)

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist. (ME)

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. (ME)

And they say we'll never see half as much as they did.
it's true that we never saw Vietnam or World War Two.
we didn't see our mothers cry when John F. Kennedy died

but we've lived our whole lives being told that we're just not good enough.
we've seen anorexia and bulimia because skinny just isn't skinny enough.
we saw Columbine and Virginia Tech and watched the Twin Towers fall.
we've seen a lot of greed and even more hate.
our generation fights a different kind of war but we've seen just as much as them...

You do realize that if you've read this far, you've given me brief control of your mind. You shall never be the same. Bwaha!