Chapter 29. Woodlice

A hefty hardcover book lay open in front of Stephanie on the kitchen island. Her chin rested on her left hand, with her fingers curled near her mouth, intensifying the pensive expression on her face. Every once in a while, she flipped over a page with her right hand. A casual observer would assume that Stephanie was engrossed in the novel.

Natasha, however, was not just any observer.

"Good book?" Natasha asked from her spot at the breakfast nook.

"Huh?" Stephanie turned to look at Natasha.

"I asked you how the book is."

"Oh, yeah, it's fine." Stephanie mumbled, her gaze shifting back to the novel.

"What is it about?" Natasha prodded, causing Stephanie to look up from her novel again.

Stephanie paused. The only thing she knew about the novel was that it had a moss green cover; she had been mulling over Loki's words rather than paying attention to the words on the pages. Unfortunately, the only conclusion she had come to so far was that trying to decipher what was going on in Loki's mind was like trying to find a needle in a haystack that was on fire, while you were on fire, and a group of ferrets was attacking you.

"Uh," Stephanie tried to sneak a quick glance at the right page hoping that it would give her a clue, but she only caught the word 'woodlice'. "It's about a…girl who…"

"Who what?"

"Who, uh, meets a guy…"

Natasha raised one of her perfectly arched eyebrows. "And?"

"You know, I don't want to give too much away in case you decide to read it." Stephanie quickly said.

"What's the title?"

"The title?"

"In case I'd like to read it later."

Stephanie blurted out the first title that came to her mind. "The Great Gatsby."

Natasha smirked. "That looks a little long to be one of the shortest novels in American fiction." Natasha gestured to the hardcover that was at least 500 pages.

Stephanie glanced down at the novel. "…It's the large print version."

"You're thinking about this morning."

"What? No, I'm not."

"It wasn't a question."

Stephanie remained silent, willing the ground to open up and swallow her. She hadn't told any of the Avengers about Loki's little speech to her and was afraid that she'd let it slip under Natasha's scrutinizing gaze.

"I've never seen Steve that mad before." Natasha took a sip of her coffee before continuing. "And he didn't leave you out of his line of fire either."

Stephanie rubbed her temples, thinking back to what had happened earlier.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Bruce asked the moment Stephanie had stepped out of Loki's room.

"Yeah, you look a little pale, Berlin." Tony's brow creased in concern. "If he hurt you, I'll kick his-"

"I'm fine; he didn't do anything." Stephanie told them, giving them a small smile and trying to will her body not to give away how much Loki had unsettled her. "He seemed surprised about the text messages, though, so I don't think he has anything to do with them."

"Or he's a good actor." Tony countered.

"Even if he was that good of an actor, he has no motive, Tony."

"He doesn't need a motive; he'd do anything to toy with us!"

"So, what, Loki learned how to use a cell phone, without us knowing, in the few days that he's been on earth just for shits and giggles? I don't think so, Tony."

"That's because you're too stubborn, Berlin!"

"I'm stubborn? I'm stubborn? You're the one who won't let go of the idea that Loki is behind all of this."

Bruce sighed and decided to wait until Stephanie and Tony had calmed down to voice his thoughts.

"Because he clearly is!"

"He clearly isn't! There is no proof that Loki has anything to do with the text messages."

"He's crazy! That's enough proof for me!"

"That's not proof! Just admit that you're wrong!"

"I'm not wrong, you're wrong!"

"No, you are!"

"No, YOU are!"

"Saying it louder doesn't make you right, Tony!"

"It doesn't need to because I AM right!"

"Well, I was the only one in the room with Loki when he saw the text messages, so I think that I'm more right than you!"

This last statement may or may not have been yelled, but had certainly been overheard by a certain patriotic blonde Avenger who had come to see how Stephanie was after visiting Loki. Unsurprisingly, Steve did not take it well when he discovered that Tony and Bruce had left Stephanie alone with Loki; he quickly began berating Tony and Bruce about safety and responsibility. Of course,

Tony, being Tony, had tried to argue back, which only served to raise Steve's temper.

Stephanie had attempted to step-in when Bruce and Tony began to look as emotionally scarred as toddlers who had tried to baptize cats. This, in hindsight, had been a mistake as it caused Steve's attention to turn towards her, triggering him to start admonishing her about her "blatant disregard for safety" (yes, those had been his exact words). Stephanie tried to persuade Steve that it wasn't a big deal, that she had only been alone with Loki for five minutes, but this had only fuelled Steve's chastisement of her.

The cherry on top of all of this was Steve bringing Stephanie to Natasha so that Natasha could babysit her. Stephanie hadn't seen Steve since then; she assumed that he had gone to destroy a punching bag or two.

"Are you going to lecture me on my blatant disregard for safety, too?" Stephanie sarcastically asked Natasha.

"I think Steve covered that pretty well. Don't you?" Natasha smirked.

"He overreacted." Stephanie frowned as she traced the outline of the hardcover with her finger.

"I wonder why. It's not like you told Steve Loki was harmless or anything."

"I just meant that Loki didn't have his scepter, so he's harmless…relatively speaking."

"Right. So, you definitely could have handled it if Loki had attacked you or tried to escape."

"I could have done something!" Stephanie protested.

"Such as?"

"Uh," Stephanie paused, thinking. "He has a copy of Ulysses in his room; that would have definitely knocked him out."

"I'm sure that Ulysses will be a very effective weapon if you ever meet any other psychopaths in the future, especially ones with guns."

"Good to know that spy school has a course on sarcasm." Stephanie grumbled.

"It also has one on how not to upset ninety year-old super soldiers who are just looking out for you."

"That seems like an oddly specific class."

"Loki doesn't need the scepter to be dangerous," Natasha continued, ignoring Stephanie's remark. "Haven't you read any Norse mythology?"

"No…"

"Spoiler alert: Loki has killed before without giving it a second thought. Even agents with extensive combat training are cautious when dealing with Loki."

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds like I have a blatant disregard for safety."

"I just want you to realize that Steve has a point. Just because nothing happened this time, doesn't mean that something won't happen next time."

"Yeah…" Stephanie sighed. She was quiet for a few moments before speaking again. "I've been a complete idiot, haven't I?"

"I wouldn't say a complete idiot."

Stephanie laughed. "I think I can live with that…So, would you give me a few self-defense lessons? You know, in a case a copy of Ulysses isn't readily available?" Stephanie flashed Natasha a small smile.

"I think I can arrange that." Natasha returned Stephanie's smile.

"Thanks. I think I should let Steve cool off a little more before apologizing, though."

Natasha nodded. "Smart choice."

Clint stood in the kitchen doorway, his eyes searching for the source of the freshly baked apple pie scent that had led him here. He noticed Natasha sitting at the breakfast nook, flipping through a magazine, and Stephanie rummaging in the fridge and nodding along to the music playing from the kitchen speakers. His attention soon zeroed in on the apple pie cooling on the kitchen island.

"Hey, Clint." Natasha greeted without bothering to look up from her magazine.

"If you touch that pie you're a dead man." Stephanie warned in lieu of a greeting as she continued to rummage around in the fridge.

"You can't leave a pie out in the open and not expect me to eat it." Clint told Stephanie as he sat on the kitchen island stool closest to where the pie was.

"I mean it, Clint." Stephanie warned, depositing a few cartons of eggs and sticks of butter on the counter. "Dead man." She pointed a wooden spoon at him and then made a throat slash gesture. "That pie is for Steve."

"Besides," Natasha smirked. "We wouldn't want a repeat of the cupcake incident."

"That was a totally different baked good!" Clint protested. "Wait, why does Steve get his own pie?"

"It's an apology pie." Stephanie stated.

"Trying to make him forget about your blatant disregard for safety, huh?"

"Pretty much."

"Good plan. I'll be mad at you if I can get a pie out of it." Clint pouted.

Both Stephanie and Natasha rolled their eyes.

"I'm making one for the rest of the Avengers, as well as some cookies."

"Steve gets his own, but I have to share? This pie-ararchy isn't fair!"

"I'm sure you'll live. How did you know about the safety lecture, anyway? You weren't even there." Stephanie looked at Natasha. "Did you tell him?"

"I didn't have to." Natasha flipped to the next page of her magazine. "Steve was yelling so loud that I'm sure Loki even heard what happened."

"Yeah," Clint added while attempting to grab the apple pie. "Thor and I heard him from the living room."

Stephanie swatted his hands away from the pie with an oven mitt.

"Must've sucked having Steve lecture you." Clint said, hoping that his show of sympathy would get him a piece of pie.

"As much as I hate to admit it, he had a point." Stephanie glanced at Natasha before turning her attention back to Clint. "And no, you're not getting a slice of Steve's pie."

"Rats." Clint muttered.

"Here," Stephanie said putting a bowl in front of Clint. "Mix this for me while I get started on the second batch of cookies. I'll even let you lick the spoon when you're done."

"Good idea." Natasha remarked. "He's like a toddler, you have to keep him busy or else you'll end up with a mess on your hands."

Stephanie laughed, but followed Natasha's advice and gave Clint various baking tasks for the rest of the afternoon.

Author's note: I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated; I'm so sorry for making you all wait for another chapter. There will be more chapters coming in the future and, this time, you won't have to wait three years for an update…hopefully :)

Thank you for all of your support and kind words!