Some sort of introduction:)

Hi all,

My name is Anca, I live in Romania and I am a huge Xena fan. I can't remember the first time I've ever watched the show,but it happened sometime in my early childhood and I'm...still watching it. A few years back I discovered the idea of fanfiction and I guess I read all that was to be read on Xena and Ares. I absolutely adore their intricate relationship...it's a sort of a special fairy-tale love from my point of view-but quite a complexe one too given that things between them don't ever seem like having the classic grow old together development. I've recently started writing my own fiction, and I hope that my stories will be as pleasant to read for you all as they are to me:)

* AS YOU CAN ALL NOTICE, I Also HAVE A BETA PROFILE, SO, IF ANY OF YOU NEEDS HELP WITH STORIES AND STUFF, I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO HELP IN ANY WAY THAT I CAN...I'LL TRY NOT TO BITE TOO HARD, I PROMISE...*

FAVORITE XWP QUOTES (Some of them at least...God knows I should write entire scripts to post them all:))

XENA:

1 "My name is Xena. I'm a problem solver."

2"Nothing like a good ambush to liven things up."

3"You were this close, because I let you get this close.

4"Oh, we don't have to run for it. I'm going to slap these bitches silly."

5"I hate the dead ... you can't take vengeance on them."

6"You wanna switch? Fine. You kick butt and I'll take notes."

7"Alright, you know the drill. Thirty seconds, you die, no blood to the brain."

8"What is this? A scumbag convention?"

9"What's the matter, God of War, you afraid of a girl?"

10"For crying out loud, what century are you living in?!"

11"Alright, the rules of survival: #1. If you can run ... run. #2. If you can't run ... surrender ... then run. #3. If you're outnumbered, let them fight each other while you run, four is where you talk your way out of it."

12"Act, don't react."

13"Making war is simple. Making peace is never easy. If it was, everyone would do it."

14"Heathens to the left of me, Infidels to the right. Next thing youll be telling me youre not virgins...gasp"

ARES:

1 "My dear Xena, you were always fighting for a better world. You were going to conquer it and then you were going to rule it. The perfect way to bring order out of chaos and you were doing very, very well."

2"You want more than just living. Danger excites you. And, as you know, I am somewhat dangerous. Action and power draw you like a moth to a flame. It burns inside you. I burn inside you ... like a fever. Xena, you will never be answerable to these pathetic creatures. Not the Xena whose army scortched the earth at will. Remember it now, the unfettered freedom of it. You're Xena ... unstoppable ... unbeatable."

3"Sometimes the best man for a job ... is a woman."

4"All dressed up and no one to kill."

5"You changed, why not me? I never lied to you, Xena. Oh, deceived and manipulated, yeah, but a god never has to lie."

6"You gotta learn to relax more, Strife, savor the moments of existence. Example, this is the site of one of my greatest triumphs, the Battle of Torrence. Ten thousand corpses littered the battle field. The stench was ... invigorating ... No general, it was a warrior. Xena. She led her army through the opponent's infantry like flies. Limbs were scattered everywhere. It was beautiful ... I wouldn't give up on her just yet. Death's perfume can be very ... addictive."

7"You're my favorite. I don't want to see you throw yourself off some cliff. It's such a tastelessly melodramatic way out of this life."

8"No, life isn't worth living. It's to be taken and beaten and wrestled and formed in your image. That's where the meaning lies, in what you can twist life into. For those who just endure life, yeah, it is a very nasty joke. But for those who form it with their will, the joke is on those who get in the way."

9"You say Minotaur', I say Mynotaur' ... whatever."

10"You still don't get it. I would sooner die in your arms than live without you in mine."

11"Who was it who said 'an army is a terrible thing to waste'? I think it was me."

12"How does Xena do anything? She just does."

13"You shot me! I'm the god of War! Nobody shoots the God of War!"

14"I gave up my immortality to save them ... I'm sorry, but I got a thing for her."

15"Fear not, friend fly there is no dishonor in defeat for I am the God of War!"

GABRIELLE

1"That's what friends do, they stand by each other when there's trouble."

2"I have no way of finding this guy again. I mean, what if I'm supposed to intertwine with him and have kids? Now, I'll wind up some lonely, pathetic woman like...never mind."

3"Do you think you're man enough to test my blade? Do you?! Your type are all cowards. I have met and defeated tens of hundreds of your type. So come on, make your move. Or, are you waiting for me to make the first move? The first mistake? Well, that's your first mistake, waiting for my first mistake, because I don't make mistakes. (Thwap!) Hah! Let that be a lesson to you."

4"Slow down...not all at once...I mean, let's face it, I'm going to get a bit tired. So, let's be fair about this. Whichever one of you is the best fighter, I'll take you on first, and then the second, and then, well, the easy pickings."

5"If you want to rough him up a bit, Xena, I won't be judgmental."

6"It's a man's world, not because it should be, because we let them have it. I guess that's true."

7"Well, the best of friends are made in strange situations. Argo's okay. I mean, at least I know she doesn't hate me. She's still too tall, though."

8"I sometimes talk about your Darkness like it's some sort of disease. But without it, neither one of us would be here. It's kind of ironic ... Do I really have hands like a sailor?"

9"My ideals were a lie. I thought love was the strongest power on earth. What a fool. Love is helpless in the face of cruelty."

10"No, you don't understand the danger. This is a boat...on water...water...boat...my stomach. We don't mix very well. So unless you want a quick and colorful deck washing, I suggest you put me on a boat for shore!"

11 So you're saying that today is actually yesterday for you, but for us, you're saying that today is today because we can't remember that yesterday was today, right? ... I don't get it."

12"I don't think I have ever been part of a true disaster before."

13"Xena, if you can say with a straight face that you believe in her, it will go a long way with a confused kid like that. It did with me. It's easier to believe in yourself after someone else has believed in you first."

14"Well ... listen to m' story 'bout Gabrielle, cute little gal that's looking pretty swell,
Perfect hair, such a lovely lass, nice round breasts and a firm young ..."

15"I woke up ... I took a bath ... I know I put my shirt on that tree ... it's just gone. Well, It doesn't make any sense ... unless an animal took it ... you know, a fashion sensible beaver, or ... or ... oh, you didn't."

COOL DISCLAIMERS:

In case you haven't noticed, the end of every episode of Xena has a disclaimer, along the lines of the "No animals were harmed in the production of this motion picture," but with a slight twist.

1 "Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables."

-- "Return of Callisto"

2"Argo was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena."

-- "Intimate Strangers"

3"The rooster was not harmed during the production of this motion picture, although his feathers were severely ruffled. However, a little gel and mousse straightened out the mess."

-- "Been There, Done That"

4"Paradise was found, but not necessarily embraced, during the production of this motion picture."

-- "Paradise Found"

5"Ares' virility was harmed during the production of this motion picture."

-- "Eternal Bonds"

6 "Xena's sanity was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. The Furies, however, will be opening their own lap-dancing variety show off-off-off Broadway soon."

"The Furies"

7 "Despite witnessing the bizarre and somewhat disturbing birth of Gabrielle's Hope, no farm animals were harmed or traumatized during the production of this motion picture"

"Gabrielle's Hope"

8 Joxer's dignity was slightly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Gabrielle's pink nightie was restored to it's original condition

"Fins, Femmes and Gems"