Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Xena: Warrior Princess. They belong to Studio USA and Renaissance Pictures. No profit has been made from this story, damn!
Rated: K+

No matter what…

(Xentrya)

Mmmm….I don't even know how to start this…I've been a bard for as long as I can remember and the passion of writing almost always went hand in hand with the one of helping people and later on, with the one of fighting for the greater good. ….The Battling Bard of Potidaea, that's how they call me…I was always good with words…if Xena was more of the action type, the silent, stoic warrior, I was the talkative one,-sometimes way too talkative, Xena used to say- the one that resolved matters by speaking her mind, by convincing the others…..but now…..I don't seam to find my words anymore. I'm speechless. I feel like a vessel that was emptied and all that's left inside is the pain . I don't feel my heart any more. It's like it's not beating any longer. It stopped doing that the moment Xena vanished. My body is no more but a shell carrying such a heavy burden that sometimes I stop and wonder in the morning how comes that I haven't died yet. The pain in my chest….by all Gods, I could never describe that. It is beyond human imagination…I thought that during my travels with Xena, I got used to all that suffering. Since we've been travelling together I've lost so much….my blood innocence, Perdicas, 25 years from my life, my family, Joxer, old friends…and still, nothing ever prepares you for loosing your best friend, your companion, your soul mate…..nothing.

It's been two months now since my travels back to Greece started. Egypt doesn't mean anything to me…there is nothing there for me….except memories. I miss being home…but do I have a home any more? Xena was my home, and I was hers….I'm afraid that when I'll get there, seeing all those landscapes again, I will just end up seeing her face everywhere, I will just crumble and lose it. That awful image of Xena's body, hanged, beheaded , covered in blood and in shame, still keeps me up at nights though I know she's at peace…I'm not.

I don't know, I just can't face this. Lately, I just get this need to breath ,to take in as much air as I can, to fill my lungs with it, and somehow it always seams I don't have enough. It's like I'm constantly suffocating…I have her chakram but I can't even look at it. It hurts to much…..I also know that Xena watches over me from some spiritual place or something but still I don't't fell her closeness any more…..I don't seam to find any type of comfort in her last words any more. By the Gods Xena!Where are you now?I need you so much!I need to see you,to hug you,to find myself in you.

…And I scream,I scream so loud…..but the suffering dosen't go away…probably it never will ,I am bound to live with it for the rest of my life. Writing…what in the world should I write about? You were my muse,my inspiration. This would be the moment for me to start writing fition. We took a good laugh about that one didn't we? You and your brilliant ideas "Make someone else the hero for a change", you said. And so I did. And Aphrodite and Ares lost their powers and soon we were chasing those barbarians to get the enchanted scroll back while you were away fishing where I sent you. I was so happy when I saw you then. So relieved. I just knew that you will set things right. And now I can't hope for something like that can I?

I'm a lousy writer right now but still, the world needs to know. Your death was not in vain Xena. You died a hero's death. On the battlefield, just as you always wanted. Doing heroic deeds…in the name of the greater good. Just like you said I thought you. You left so that the others may find their peace…..and so "I sing of Xena….Xena the Warrior Princess, Chosen of Ares, God of War, honoring her heroic end in the faraway land of Japa ,while sacrificing herself for the peace of others. Dying a hero's death…"

XXX

All around us just froze for a moment. I was looking into her beautiful blue eyes and I could swear that my entire world was mirrored in them . I just couldn't help it. Tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't care less if I seamed week in front of her, damn it all to Tartarus, it was just her .Only her, and small diamonds were rolling down her cheeks too. It was like time itself had stopped. I couldn't move. I was petrified. I was almost afraid to touch her. Afraid that all this would have been a spell and touching her might brake it and make her vanish. I just stood there, looking at her, and by All Olympus,if perfection existed she was that perfection. Slowly, very slowly, I reached a hand and wiped the tears from her sweet face, and I have to tell ya, touching her skin was like a gift from the Gods. Her long dark hair, flowing down her back, reminded me so much of one of the murals depicting her ,back in one of my temples, right after the battle of Corinth when she was covered in glory, an army of thousands screaming her name….and she was the same to me, even now after all this time.

….I was shaking like a leaf when she kissed the palm of my hand, and she smiled, that gorgeous smile of hers that could brighten up even the darkest of my days and I knew it….I couldn't have lived without her.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, princess. Do you understand? Not ever…"

"Missed me?"

I tried to regain some of my composure, and some of my godly attitude, vaguely resembling the God of War right now,but I knew it was useless. She does see right through me. Always has. Smart girl. One of a kind. Trained her well I might add.

"I'm dead serious, Xe"

"Me too. Except for the dead part."

I couldn't supers a smile.

"Well,I'm glad that you didn't loose your sense of humor. I was afraid that somehow that boring Japa style got to you."

"Neaaah! You know me. Fun is my middle name. And besides, I'm used to being dead and all. This was like…..the forth time or something?"

"I lost count"

"Me too"

Soon we were both laughing, enjoying the moment, trying our best I guess, to get rid of that tension, that was still bothering us.

Her melancholic look, broke the moment, though.

"Ares…"

"Ya sweet?

"About those souls…I meant every single word. We have to find a way. That was the deal."

"'ll work on that. There's always a way Xena. It was no need for you to be so damn radical about it."

With that she closed her eyes for some seconds, and suddenly I saw her frowning. Her features relieved that pain all over again . It was a matter of seconds but enough for me to notice it.

"Not very pleasant memories ha?", I said, trying to snap her out of it.

She looked at me bitterly:

"No, but they would make good material for some Tartarus torture if I ever wind up down there….It was you,you know."

"Me what Xe?"

"The last person I had in mind when it happened….it was was your image I saw before my eyes…"

My heart skipped a beat, only remembering the pain I felt when she was fading away….

"I know"

"You know? How could you know?"

"I felt it…all of it…..your pain, your despair,…..when our bond broke I heard you…I heard you say my name"

XXX

I was looking at him in shock. Bt the Gods it had to be terrible for him. Sensing me in danger, feeling everything that I felt and unable to do anything about must have been torture for him.

"It was",he replied, reading my thoughts."I fought I was going crazy know what I feel for you and plus, I couldn't stand anyone touching one hair on your head…when Dite' helped me create a portal strong enough to see that far I was on the verge of insanity…I don't even want to go there.I died that day too.I would have torn the world apart just to get you back.I swore it. On the river Styx, on my Goodhood, Aphrodite witnessed it. "

The pain in his eyes, in his voice, it was braking my heart…

"Deep down I knew you would find me"

"I love you, no matter what, I love you. Despite the games, the pain ,the past…I know that you may never understand this, but you are my everything. You know me.I'm not a vey sentimental guy but…..like I told you before…I'd rather die in your arms,than live without you in mine"

I couldn't believe it. This was almost too good to be true. Ares declaring his love to me. Where is Aphrodite now,to hear him? And the great thing about it was that there were no strings now,it was just him,Ares,opening his heart in front of me. And suddenly,there was no pain ,no past,no games,just that endless love that I've always felt for him,that meaning of "us" that I denied for so long".I started crying again,I just couldn't help it.

"I do understand .I always did. I had problems facing it, I knew it was that love you said you felt for me ,I knew it existed,even when we pretended that there was nothing left of that moment,when I died….I don't know…."

Right know I was crying so hard…he just held me in his arms, caressing my hair, kissing my forehead. After I calmed down I carried on:

"I guess I always figured that when it happened it would be in your arms,with you there, holding me .In the arms of my God"

At that very moment we were both covered in tears all over again .

"But you did keep you word"

"Which one?",he asked.

"Remember when I left to sea? And I was so sad that you wouldn't come with me?You didn't talk to me like…..for days…..and when it was finally time for me to leave…..you just took me in your arms,kissed me and told me that everything will be all said that you will watch over me and that you will find me no matter what. And you did find me"

"My brave,beautifull princess, the sea was not my domain ,you know that.I didn't belong there. Zeus wouldn't have allowed in a million years"

"I know…I knew it than too.I just didn't want to accept it I guess."

He didn't say anything afterwards. We just sat there,lost into each other's embrace…watching the sea and feeling the wind,the sun on my skin ,his gentle strokes on my hair,so soft,his kisses on my lips….it was good to be alive again.

"Ares…I love you too"

XXX

When my her lips met mine, I was deliriously happy. It was the most passionate kiss I've ever shared in my entire immortal life. Feeling her heart beating against my chest,so close to mine brought me back to life.I hug her so tight that she could barely breath. I started laughing:

"Xe…about that contract…"

"What about it?"

"I don't care what you say,but I'm planning on keeping it for a veryyyyyyyy long know, just in case you're considering dyeing any time soon."

We both started laughing and for a while we were our old selves we stopped,we looked at each other and Xena added:

"That won't be necessary"

I raised an eyebrow inquiringly, and she went on:

"I considered one of your former offers"

"Which one?"….I had an idea but that was way to good to be true.

"The one involving some ambrosia and stuff"

I was just staring at her in disbelief. "I must be hearing thinghs",I thought.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"No…..but hey…with you…one never knows….So…may I ask what changed your mind?"

She just looked deep into my eyes,and in no time we were laughing our hearts out again. This was such a pleasant feeling….Just being there with her, just feeling her close, being able to protect her. Not that she would ever admit that she needed protection but, right then,nothing else mattered.

"You know Xe,I can't wait to see the bard's face when she sees you.I wish I could immortalize the moment somehow. "

"I know she will be won't stop talking again for days!"

"You'll be begging me for help warrior princess"

"Dream on it. How long is she anyway?"

"She should arrive tomorrow sweet"

"Mmm…Ares…..I was serious about the ambrosia….For me and Gabrielle"

"Perfect.I'm glad you finaly see things my way"

XXX

Home at last….If I couls still call this a home…Everything seams different…the sky, the trees, the people…Where should I go?What should I do? I could go and see Virgil, or Hercules, I could visit the Amazons…that should probably be the wisest choice. I should regain some control before talking to Eve and Ares….Ares. By all the gods of Olympus! I won't be able to bear seeing the pain in his eyes when I brake him the news….he will be devastated. If he dosen't know it already,I mean ,him and Xena did share that special God-Chosen bond,…but on the other hand, she was way to far for him to even sense anything.

If the world seamed to me a very violent place thus far, I don't really wanna think about what's coming up next,when he finds out that Xena,his warrior princess is dead.

It's to much for my imagination right now. I need to take my mind off this,at least for some hours or I will go crazy"

"Hey blondy. Long time no see!"

And there he was just standing there in front of me with that stupid grimace that I heated so much,on his face. Ares…God of War, my friend after all.I was staring at him like I was seeing Callisto's ghostly figure or was looking at me, and judging by his reaction he could tell that something was wrong.

"Like ….when you left we were on speaking terms,weren't we?"

I wanted to tell him ,my mind was racing trying to gather the right words, but when I opened my mouth I just burst into tears, and I turned my back on him. I couldn't face him. And that's when I heard her:

"Gabrielle?"

I must be going crazy!I'm hearing my voice now.

"Gabrielle,it's me!"

And when I turned around,there she was standing right next to Ares,smiling,and in the next minute we were hugging, and I was so happy and still I couldn't stop crying and all I could hear was Ares' laugh and a line of his saying something about immortalizing the moment.

"Sweet mother of Zeus! Xena! I thought I lost you. But how?When?"

"To make a long story short Ares used the contract I signed with him, after that whole incident with Hope , giving him free access to my soul,…he also drank some extra ambrosia and…let's just say he went to Japa's underworld doing his worse"

"Well I'm glad that at least one of Ares' schemes had a happy ending! I can't believe it! You're alive!I'm so happy ! I missed you so much!"

"Me too Gabrielle, me too"

XXX

Well guys,so much for the story,and I know that I'm the Godess of Love and all but Ares should really admit it this time"Love conquers it all". I have said it before and I will keep on saying it until he'll stop denying it. I mean it's so obvious!

Olympus has two more Godessess now. The warrior babe and Gabby joined us, and, up there,the Great Halls are getting full again. Cupie,aunt Hestia, Demetra, Persephona, Dionysos, The Fates, Morpheus, Hermes and Appolo are all back home. And Xena and Gabby are still talking to the Elli's God to restore the former gods to their glory if they swear allegiance to Him. All that peace and love concept is not so bad after all. And it's good for your health too. You stay more relaxed so…..no more wrinkles or anything!

Anyways. Nice talking to you, but I gotta split. I got a very cute couple I need too hook up in Athens,(not that I hadn't succeeded in parrying the greatest couple ever. I mean getting The Warrior babe back with the studmuffin it's like my own personal trophy) and I'm already late for my hair appointment! So…see ya later!