I am a work-in-progress; if there is a grievance you have pertaining to my character, chances are that I'm already striving to address and amend it. I have dubbed myself a slave to literature, my Muse, and devote myself to the pursuit of transforming into an elegant writer. I am a tightly coiled spring with lofty academic ambitions. I refuse to engage in any activities that dissuade or distract me from my carefully paved path. There are philosopher-kings, but I am just a philosopher-pauper; I am at once a curious creature, a poor little girl, and a malfunctioning toy that tumbled off the conveyor belt. My stomping grounds include cages, jungles, street corners, toy boxes, and closets. If you were to pin an age on my play persona, I am a precocious thirteen-year-old; I believe I am right more often than not, I fancy myself emancipated and independent, and I delight in hoarding tidbits of trivia and bejeweled words. I wander into dark alley ways when I am told I'm grounded; I develop too close of a relationship with my teacher; I entertain conversation with charismatic strangers; I play dress up to imitate a woman. Still, I know when to comply to my instincts and to my mistrust. My wrought-steel moral compass keeps my heart on a straight path. My factory deemed me to be for simple decoration, but I discovered free will … I am the doll that selects her own costumes and incessantly seeks to reinvent herself and strip the labels that were stuck on her with an itchy, irritating adhesive. I strongly believe in the exchange of meaningful energy – to me, this is imperative for platonic, romantic, and erotic interaction. I like to gaze into my friends' eyes and anchor my attention to them; I enjoy fully processing what they have to say, and giving space for both their joys and frustrations. I express my support and concern with embraces and cuddles, and it is extremely difficult for me to maintain a close friendship in which I can't offer physical affection. My empathy is a genuine entity that soars with compersion or bleeds and weeps for those in pain. I am cautious inviting someone in my life so that I do not run the risk of feeling deeply for someone who both does not consent to that and exhibits no appreciation for that. Furthermore, my time is finite, and so the expenditure of it is a gesture of friendship. I cannot toss tokens of time about blindly for the cheap prospect of popularity or empty interaction. I seek to connect. |
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