"Every great or original writer in proportion as he is great or original, must himself create the taste by which he must be relished"

- Wordsworth

"When life gives you lemons: Make grape juice. Then sit back and relax as the world wonders how you did it."

Over-all Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, or Legend of Zelda, or Star Trek or Harry Potter, or Lilo and Stitch... or anything... the only thing I can claim ownership on is how it all comes together in the cocktail-shaker and has been poured out into the story glasses I present to you, yes that's right I'm not an author I'm a bartender, enjoy your drinks, they're on the house! and no two are ever the same.

"Joey the Ripper turns to Negaduck and asks. 'Have you ever had one of those dreams where you find yourself a few years down the track with a home, hearth and a family?'

Negaduck replies. 'Why yes, I call those nightmares.'..."

Head is stuck in: Doctor Who

I believe: In the two sides of many a villain, everyone has history and everyone makes plans, and even Negaduck has his reasons for doing things his way...

But weirdly enough I'm not talking about Negaduck right now, I'm talking QUACKERJACK:

Yes, our favourite Criminal Toy-maker, who gives his toys the appropriate commercialisation whilst robbing banks and committing crimes:

Free marketing venture for toy-soldiers, "that's right kids, you too can lead your very own army of sentient soldiers, much more realistic than other leading brands."

But let's take a glimpse into his subtlety for parents to know but children not to notice: the difference between the mechanical teddy who is capable of being sharp and nasty when need be, and then there's the exploding PANDA, excuse me for saying this but it's not often one finds a toy panda and Quackerjack brand toy panda explodes, the fact it's a panda is like a warning label for parents, but kids'll never know it, who has actually noticed this until I pointed it out? The teddy is brown, the panda black and white, the toy dog you have to wind-up and then there's... hold on, a row of grim reapers? I wonder what they do? Because unlike any other toy company Quackerjack Toys actually refuses to ever specialise, the toy chainsaw, the army of toy soldiers, the nutty putty, the toy teeth, Quackerjack delivers three times what you were expecting- Okay enough advertising we'll now return you to your helping of profile that you actually came here to read.

Update: I think I may have finally progressed from being an absolutely atrocious writer to being just a headache off of "meh"... course now that I say that anything written pre-2013 is still horrible and I am half tempted to go about deleting many of them, as has happened before... but I'm not going to, I refuse to delete them and I shall keep randomly updating whatever I can manage to. Keeps things interesting for me and you.

The images for the majority of my stories are pictures that I myself have taken from things, I can't draw Ducks or people, but I can draw Daleks, I figured that since I'm writing "FAN-fiction" I'll use my "FAN-pics" for things, the majority being of course screenshots that fit to story... I don't like this image thing because a lot of my stories are OOC situations that I can't get pictures for: Hello, Paint! Who needs PhotoShop?

As far as originality goes my head makes it's own decisions, some ideas are new some are recycled and others are a merge between the two.

I am more on the darker side of fiction, hence Joey the Ripper being my pen name, I chose it as a kind of warning that most of my stories involve at least one death at some point, very rarely will I write a story that doesn't, except if it happens to be a one-shot or I'm feeling exceptionally nice: to the Characters and/or to the readers... I myself have no qualms with writing gory details that come from stories that involve: Zombies, Vampires, Psychopathic Serial Killers, velociraptor attacks, or Doctors/Scientists.

My only issue with writing gory details is in fact the word "Details", I am still getting into writing graphics, I haven't got it down-pact just yet so you might find yourself glad of it if you find yourself in, say, the Negaverse, I might get Negaduck a chainsaw victim or two (or thirty) but details of it won't really be written in properly.

Please review my stories, I need the feedback to get better, I can only improve so much from solid writing.

Till The End.

Joey the Ripper.

XXXX OOOO