Disclaimer: I own nothing except the OCs that have featured in my other various partially posted stories and the concept.

A/N: The concept for this whole chapter comes from a nightmare that I had a few nights prior to this post. This may look like I've ripped the concept off Shrek III or Groundhog Day or an episode from Star Trek: The Next Generation called "Frame of Mind". But because I experienced this horrid-yet-novel nightmare for myself I hereby claim it as original under the name of VAPX007.

The nightmare that I actually had dealt with my personal day-to-day reality. It involved a death, (someone) starting a used car collection (when he really shouldn't have), a foreign picnic table in my carport (where my beautiful car should have been), a few forgotten handbags and a thermos in said carport (which I had in mind to confiscate till the guilty neighbours came back and had to be grilled by me in order to get them back - this plan didn't actually eventuate because I 'woke up' again) and oh yes, the landlord obliterated my back courtyard for some reason or other. Twice.

Neil Diamond commented about his "Brooklyn Roads" song being from Personal Experience and many other people also suggest that PE is a great source for creativity.

A/N: Okay, so continuity wise (because I believe dreams are recycled components of a person's mental reality) here is something that happens about three years after "Return of the Mad Plant Scientist" which I will eventually get around to posting. Also, I have done my best to post in the same manner as the other writers in the hope to curry the same sort of readership favour. Please Enjoy!

Just a Nightmare

Negaduck eyed his black look alike lying outstretched on the floor. The vampire didn't get back up. Negaduck grabbed the stake from his breast pocket and ventured forwards.

He got down on his hands and knees beside the crime fighter. "I've wanted to do this for years ..." He held the piece of wood in both hands and raised it over his head.

Ten centimetres from Negaduck's victory, Darkwing Duck's hand reached up and seized his fists in a bone crunching grip. "So have I." Darkwing twisted his grip, forcing Negaduck to the ground. He ripped the stake from his fingers and hurled it away. "I'm so hungry, Negaduck."

"Not you!" Negaduck quacked, "you would never do it. You're a goody two shoes." Negaduck was unfortunately not as convinced as he wanted to be, however.
"That's your mistake."
"You won't kill me."

"On the contrary, all I need is a reason and I will." Darkwing lowered his beak to Negaduck's neck.

Negaduck woke up in his hideout, sweating. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard, isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "The bastard." He rubbed his temples. "He's in my head!"

He dragged himself out of bed. The dream had left him exhausted. His clothes were on the chair where he'd dumped them last night. He got up and pulled them on. Then he went to the bathroom and checked his neck in the mirror. He didn't see any marks. Of course, he'd discovered, vampires could also heal the injuries they made, so that wasn't any reassurance that it had really been just a dream.
"Apparently I've gotta kill that vampire just to get a proper night's rest." He muttered.

He checked his pockets. "I need some cash."

"What a lovely day, huh, kids?" Reginald gazed happily at the world as he went along the sidewalk. Most of the people in the area had gotten used to seeing some of the greenery moving about, but there were still occasional gawkers.

Gone were the days when this would have upset Reginald, however. "Don't slouch, Julie. You'll get more sunlight if you stand up straight. Harry, don't hang back and you won't get lost." Reginald hesitated, looking at his third child, who was warily eyeing one of the gawkers. "Don't let what other people think bother you, Simon. You're not doing anything wrong and ... well ... that's the end of that story."
Simon broke into a smile and took his hand. "Gee, dad, I love your stories!"

On the street, Negaduck spied someone familiar hidden inside a trench coat. He hadn't seen Bushroot in a long time. The plant-duck stood there with his jumping, flocking brood around him.

Negaduck approached them, remembering that Bushroot always kept loose money in his pockets when he went out. Silently, he crept up behind Bushroot as he was reviewing a discount advertisement for plants on a display outside a store.

"If they took better care of them, they wouldn't have to discount them. Oh, the poor things are all root bound ..."
Negaduck silently gagged at Bushroot's heartfelt sympathy for the discounted stock while he simultaneously lifted a hundred dollar bill from Bushroot's pocket.
"Daddy!" One of the little creatures yipped.
Negaduck glared down.

The adult plant-duck spun around. "Negaduck!" He eyed the money in his fingers. "Give that back!"
"Nuh-uh, I don't see your name on it. It's mine now." He always loved how Bushroot reacted to his taunts.
"I'm not playing games, Negaduck. I need that to feed my children."

"A whole hundred dollars?" Negaduck laughed. Bushroot could be so melodramatic sometimes. "They eat dirt; I'm pretty sure they don't need a hundred dollars. What else do they eat? Gold?"
"Uh ... N-no." Apparently being in charge of raising a family hadn't quite helped Bushroot with his nervous hesitation problem.

"See you later, veggie." Negaduck turned and headed off.

He didn't have any money anymore, so fertilizer was no longer an option. Sunlight there was plenty but his children needed nutrients to go with it.

Reginald stood there, thinking about Negaduck. While his wife was quite insistent that he would never steal things again, he got to thinking about what Negaduck was going to do with a hundred dollars. Not enough to buy a Thermo Nuclear Warhead; that was for sure. It was a petty crime and Negaduck only did those when he was working up to something bigger.

"Dinner's going to be a bit late, kids." He frowned. "Let's go home." He ushered them into the direction of their greenhouse.
"Daddy, what about Negaduck?"
"Hush now, Simon. Daddy will fix this later. You'll see; it'll be alright." He petted his boy.

A hundred bucks was small change in Negaduck's mind. He laughed when he recalled Bushroot's face. The pansy didn't even fight him for it, even though he was so attached to it. He scoffed, " 'I need that to feed my children.' Bah!" But talking about food, Negaduck decided what better way to spend the money than on some decent food? Dealing with the Terror could wait.

He enjoyed his lunch at an upmarket cafe and spent the afternoon, looking for anti-vampire accessories.

"Disgusting!" Negaduck stormed out of the grunge shop. "What the heck is wrong with these people? That's not grunge! If I see another fluffy monster album I'm gonna set a torch to it. What I really need is Quiverwing's arrow set, but the sports store has closed down." He looked across at the emptied out shop across on the other side of the mall. He could have sworn it had been open last week. "That means I'll have to take out Quiverwing first."

So at the end of the day, Negaduck still had sixty five bucks. "I'll have dinner and then cause a minor disturbance." He had to plot this carefully. The instant the 'disturbance' got too big, Quiverwing called for backup. And then Darkwing would know Negaduck's game because he'd take it straight from his head. And then he'd take it straight out of his hide.

Negaduck picked out a fancy restaurant and went in.

Over his dinner, he contemplated Quiverwing's standard tactics. Her arrow inventions did fairly the same trick as Darkwing's gas gun. Physically the first thing she relied on was speed and stamina. And ouch, did she know her Quack Fu. Negaduck flinched, holding his hand instinctively to a recent Quack Fu related injury on his person. This might be trickier than he had initially considered. But he had to have that bow and arrow.

A few hours later and Negaduck was waiting in the gloom cast by the streetlamps to put his plan into operation. He slouched against a corner, listening for the scrabble of a skateboard on the ground.

The instant he knew she was coming, he hurled the brick at a window across the road.

Hidden behind the last tree in the line, Quiverwing raised her bow and arrow, ready to fill the corner with smoke. But before she could set the smoke arrow loose, a branch took hold of her and lifted her high up into the air.

"Hey," She hissed quietly at the tree, "what do you think you're doing?" She struggled, and saw beneath her who it was that had decided to interfere with her plan. "Bushroot?" She whispered. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, sorry, Quiverwing." He answered quietly back. "But this is my turn." He reached up and snatched the arrow from out of her bow. "This'll be useful though."

She was taking longer than he expected. Did Quiverwing realise this was a trap? Now Negaduck was nervous. He wasn't armed to confront a vampire.

The arrow landed on the sidewalk and smoke billowed out. Negaduck coughed. "About time you showed up ..." He peered through the haze at the shadowy figure. "Quiverwing?" It was a bit too tall for her.

The smoke cleared and Bushroot was standing there. "Geez." Negaduck groaned; he could have had a heart failure. "Are you still crying over the hundred bucks? Just go steal some more."

"I don't steal things anymore." Bushroot advised him. "That money came out of my wife's pay check."
Negaduck snorted and held out the ten dollar bill and odd change from the original hundred. "Here then."
Bushroot snorted with an angry look in his eyes. "You spent all that money on food, and there's only one of you?" Then he blinked and the anger disappeared. "It must have been really healthy food." He stroked his beak in thought. "When did you have dinner?"

"What? Six thirty." Negaduck raised an eyebrow. Why did he just answer such a stupid question for?
"Ten, eleven thirty ... Yeah I guess that'll be alright ..."
"What are you going on about, you green-blooded monstrosity?" Negaduck snarled. "What did you do to Quiverwing?"
"What do you want Quiverwing for?"
"Nah. Not her. I just want her bow and arrow." Negaduck chuckled. "I wanna play a game of William Tell with the vampire that flaps."
"I see."

She had been coming, and then Bushroot had interfered ... "Did you actually catch Quiverwing?" Negaduck was eager and had to know. He pushed past Bushroot and around the corner he saw the teenager up in the branches of the tree with her arms crossed in quiet indignation. "Oh, yes. This was even easier than I thought!" He stepped forwards, looking up at the bow strapped to her back. All he needed to do was get up there.

Vines wrapped around him, pinning his arms to his sides and stopping his progress.
"Think again, Negaduck." Bushroot said calmly, holding onto him. "You're coming with me."

Bushroot hauled Negaduck up to his greenhouse and dropped him on the dirt floor.

"What is the meaning of this?" Negaduck demanded. "You're totally outta your tree." He got up, brushing himself off. "You hate me coming in here. You even threatened to jam my favourite chainsaw with sap ..."
"Well, in this case I'm happy to make an exception." Bushroot licked his beak. "Hey, ki-ids!" Bushroot called out. Negaduck watched the plant-duck shaped things come toddling over. They gazed up at Negaduck.

"What are you looking at?" He snarled.

Bushroot whipped out his vines and knocked Negaduck's feet out from under him. Negaduck landed with a heavy thump on the ground. "I'm sorry you had to wait for mummy to come home from work. Here's your dinner, kids."
"W-what the ...?" Negaduck said in alarm as he watched Bushroot's crop open their beaks to reveal razor sharp teeth. "No!" With miniature growls they jumped at him.

He shrieked, unable to shake the little monsters off him for more than a moment at a time.

'Hold still, Negaduck.'
The voice was feminine and echoed in his head like the reverberative force of a jackhammer. Negaduck had heard it before. It was a voice that sickened him to the core. It was a voice that lied in the very sound that it made. It belonged to none other than Bushroot's wife. "There, you see, children. That's what you have to do." Negaduck struggled but that nauseating voice held him there on his hands and knees. She circled around him and into Bushroot's waiting vines. He caught the gaze from her hungry eyes as Bushroot's vines twined around her, his beak nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

"Yuck." Negaduck shut his eyes. "I hate romantic sop."

"Go on, kids. Your dad caught him for you."
Negaduck tried to escape, but the oppressive feeling cast by the woman smothered him into submission. He grimaced as he was crowded in, tiny sharp pinpricks and tiny sounds of contentment from both sides.

It seemed like ages, but he figured that tiny gullets took longer to swallow enough. When they finally let go, he newly found his ability to move and sank to the ground in a wave of giddiness.
"Ouch." He pulled himself together, looking up. "I see; you just wanted your hundred bucks' worth."

"No, that's not a hundred bucks' worth, Negaduck." Bushroot insanely chuckled.

"No ... what? I've got the change! Here!" Negaduck dropped the entire contents of his pockets onto the dirt floor. He edged back from the advancing monster that Bushroot had married. It wasn't a surprise to discover that she was a vampire. Not really when the plant-duck's best friend was a giant Venus fly trap and his first engagement had been to a nine foot tall duck-eating potato.

"No, no way! I'm not gonna let you!" He jumped up, running for the door.

He ran into her arms before he'd realised she was in front of him. "No!" He struggled but her voice was in his head again, smothering his willpower. "Bushroot ..." He searched the greenhouse looking for him, desperate for some leniency. Bushroot had been the weakest in their group. He was always the first person to object to physical brutality, and always argued when there was the prospect of killing anybody. "We're buddies, friends ..."

The woman giggled softly in his ear. "Oh, Negaducky, you're so funny." He felt her hot damp breath on his feathers, before her sharp teeth sank into his neck.

Negaduck woke up in his hideout, sweating. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "Yeah, I'll do some weeding alright!" He ignored his pounding temples and jumped off the bed, grabbed his clothes off the chair on which he'd dumped them last night and shrugged into them. "I'm gonna commit herbicide!" He cackled and went through the doorway.

Megavolt? Negaduck blinked. He'd been heading the direction of the gardening aisle but now he turned back. He snarled, recalling a few unpleasant encounters with the dim bulb. Add one more person to his list for destruction. He came towards the checkouts where Megavolt was standing in line.

"Daddy, what's this, daddy?"

Negaduck stepped in front of Megavolt. The miniature rat was between them, holding up the battery packet for him to look at.
"... It's gotta drive you crazy; all this sugar and spice." Negaduck looked triumphantly at Megavolt for the fate that life had dealt him, but the electric rodent simply passed his sights over Negaduck's face before returning his gaze to the tiny child.
"That's nine volt alkaline, Lucy."
"Oh." The young rat said in disappointment. "Maybe running S.A.D.I.E. off the mains is a better idea after all."

Negaduck reconsidered the child, talking well above her age. What was she, three years old thereabouts?

"Well, it's up to you, my little luminary, but if you want to go with the batteries, we'll need more than one battery in order to generate the amount of power necessary for S.A.D.I.E. to run effectively."
"Oh! Well, yes, of course! Oh, daddy, you're clever." She hugged him and raced off a little too nimbly for her age and she was back with another five nine volt batteries.
Negaduck frowned suspiciously at the child. "Who is S.A.D.I.E., Lucy?" Negaduck looked up at Megavolt. "A new pet?"

Megavolt dragged his words. "Sort of ..."
"Search And Destroy Intruders Efficiently. We're making a birthday present for my grandma."
"Disable, Lucy, Disable, not Destroy!" Megavolt corrected somewhat worriedly. "If we wanted to destroy something, we'd just modify one of Uncle Quackerjack's toys."

"Hey, yeah, oops." Lucy grinned guiltily. "Oh well, it's only a subtle difference to the circuitry programming ..."
"Lu-cy! You can't go around beating other people up. It isn't right."
Negaduck laughed.
"Don't laugh at me." The child growled moodily up at him. "My mental discipline only goes so far."

That was a good point. And considering this morning's nightmare involving miniature predatorial plants, it was probably a thing he should know.
Negaduck looked up at Megavolt. "When do they start cutting ... those teeth?"
Megavolt smiled back at Negaduck and didn't answer. Lucy swung around on the railing for a moment, and then went to investigate a nearby gumball machine. Negaduck shuddered.

Megavolt stepped up to the counter and dumped the batteries on it as well as two boxes of Quackano. He took a card from his pocket and swiped it, pressing in the pin code beneath the cover of his other hand so Negaduck couldn't see it.
Nuts. Megavolt was far more streetwise than Bushroot by a mile. "You remember your pin code?"

"There's a trick to remembering things." Megavolt answered. "The very first thing is that you have to want to remember." Then he blinked. "Why don't you come over this afternoon? It's been ages since we've had a talk that didn't involve any grievous bodily harm. Come on, Lucy. Here, you want to look after the bag for daddy?"

Negaduck didn't find his voice to scream 'no' and Megavolt ushered him out of the store.

They were soon at his lighthouse.

'Oh, god, no. Why is this happening to me?' Negaduck fidgeted as Felicia insisted he stayed for tea. 'At' dinner or 'as' dinner? He watched the two toddlers clamber up the chair legs and into their seats like monkeys.

The food on the table was an assortment of vegetarian dishes.
"Mummy, when can we go out hunting again?"
"I'll have to discuss it with your father later, Thomas."
Negaduck considered this child again. He'd already figured that Lucy was the one that had the savage streak. Thomas was the one that she pushed around. Negaduck looked over at Megavolt, sitting eating a charcoaled version of the rest of the food and grimaced at his rapturous expression.

Yee-uck.

Somehow Negaduck endured the excruciatingly picture perfect family dinner. After the meal he sat down in an armchair in Megavolt's lounge room, blankly watching the two children building the mobile security device. Negaduck was suspicious but it was starting to look quite a bit like a spider.

They didn't need a lot of help from their father and Megavolt just sat there as an extra resource, overseeing the production.

"Where's that transistor, Lucy?"
"Here, Thomas."
"Be careful not to cook the circuits, you two ..." Megavolt yawned, and then he sat straight up. "Of course! The power distribution's all wrong! Oh, why didn't I think of it before?" He took out his notebook computer from the lockbox under the coffee table and started madly typing away.

Megavolt's notebook machine was reconfigured to deal with frequent overloads from his energy field; no crook in his right mind would have stolen it because it would have had basically no resale value whatsoever. The same went for basically everything in Megavolt's lighthouse. Reconfigured, rebuilt, reengineered, recycled, reused, rubber coated crackpot inventions.

He rolled his eyes. Negaduck looked back to the two tiny terrors. Apparently they were bored as well, because they'd taken a break from the invention to tussle on the mat.

Felicia came in, putting a tray of vegetable sticks on the coffee table.
At this moment Lucy had Thomas pinned and he cried out, "Ow, mum!"
"Try growling, luminary." She sat down on the chair beside Megavolt. "It helps."

The overly intelligent toddler did growl, and found the power within him to push Lucy off and continue tussling. Eventually he pinned Lucy, which seemed to make his day because he began sparking dangerously. Negaduck tugged back the edge of his cape to avoid going up in flames.

"Well, I usually win." Lucy consoled herself and got up off the floor.
The savage little monsters came towards the coffee table and began chewing loudly on the carrot sticks. "Hey, mum, can you show us the griplock again?"
"Yeah, mum, please?"

Felicia grinned and got down on the floor. "Negaduck, you want to help out?"
Negaduck's feather stood up on end in an instant. "Oh, no you don't!"
Both of the children stared at him and then started giggling quietly. "He's funny, mummy." Thomas announced.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're implausible, Thomas," Negaduck snarked back.
"No, you just don't have enough data." Thomas replied coolly and popped another piece of carrot into his beak with a loud crunch.
"Wow, Thomas, how'd you come up with all those words so quickly all the time? I'm still feeling angry and stuff." Lucy said in admiration of her duck brother.
"My genetic cloak is configured differently from yours." Thomas answered halfly.

Megavolt put his computer back into the lockbox under the table. "Now I'm not going to forget!" He said triumphantly.
"Elmo?"
Megavolt looked up to Felicia sitting on the floor nearby. "Sure, hon?"
"Won't you come here for a moment?"
Megavolt hesitated and got onto the floor in front of her. "You know I don't do these role plays very well, Felicia." He warned quietly.
"You're a real trooper." Felicia grinned at him.
Negaduck felt nauseous. 'Oh, god, no ...'

"Okay, kids, now you see here? Before I even touch him, I do this."
Megavolt closed his eyes, his breathing slowed. Negaduck had no idea what she actually 'did', but even with Megavolt willing it was pretty darn effective.

"Whatever the effect you want on them, you want to get close enough to touch them." She circled her arms around Megavolt's shoulders, her fingers hooking in. "See how that's not all physical either? You combine these things and that gives you a proper lock."

"Make sure ..." Megavolt gasped. Apparently he was struggling with playing his role as the victim. "Always check for dangers before you even start. Everything that's going to happen and everyone that's around you are all vitally important. Even the person in your grip because ..."

Negaduck's jaw dropped. 'Person'? But he didn't have time to ponder over this, because Megavolt surged in electricity and broke Felicia's concentration. He pulled her greedily towards him, kissing her beak, roving his hands down her back.

"I'm bored now." Thomas turned away from their parents to look at Lucy. "You wanna go play with toys?"
"Not when it's raining, and you know what dad's like when we start exploding stuff in the house."
"You wanna eat Negaduck then?"
"Sure, I don't think dad would mind much."
Negaduck jumped to a stand on the chair.

"No, no you don't." He glanced around the room for a diversion. "What about finishing off S.A.D.I.E., huh?" He grinned, sweating. He jumped off the far side of the chair and bolted, hearing the sounds of their miniature footsteps after him. He flew down the stairwell and got to the door. He struggled to get it open, and when he finally thought he had it open and was home free, he woke up.

Negaduck blinked for a moment at the quiet, unassuming room that he'd picked to be his hideout. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. That one had been positively sickening and unrealistic. He'd never have endured that torture in reality, yet it had seemed perfectly real while he'd been there. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "How many times do I have to break this crummy clock?" He got out of bed, reaching for his clothes from off the chair and shrugged them on. "Blast it, I can't touch Megavolt. He's worse than his blood sucking wife." He fell backwards onto his bed again with a groan. "I could bomb the lighthouse but they'd smell that coming from a mile away and escape; stupid vampires. Then those snobby rich relatives of theirs would just help them rebuild. In the meantime, I'm snack food for the under aged." He rubbed his temples. "I can't think straight. Where is this flaming headache coming from?"

Negaduck jolted awake. He blinked. He was lying on his bed. He sat up, shaking. He gazed at his clothes draped over the chair. But he had only just put them on.

The radio clicked on. "Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "Wake up!" He yelled. "I gotta wake the frell up!"

The room was silent back at him. Was he awake? It seemed like it but he couldn't tell anymore. He jammed his clothes on, grabbed his chainsaw from under his pillow and started it up. He sliced through the door instead of opening it. "I'm gonna make sure I'm awake!" He yelled and went out to wreak havoc on St Canard.

"I am the Quack in the Dark! You've got a better chance at winning the pokies. I am the Quiverwing Quack!"

"Darn it." Negaduck dropped his chainsaw as it sputtered and failed. "Just when you run out of juice, the purple menace shows up." He turned around at the darkness. "Come out here under the lamplight where I can see your face when I throttle you."
"Sheesh, Negaduck, do you have to destroy absolutely everything in your way today?" A smoke cloud surrounded him and he couldn't see a thing.

"Yes." He had a gut feeling she was coming from his left, and he moved to catch the blow.

He caught her foot, twisting her about before she landed on the ground. "What luck!" He crowed, eyeing her as she leapt up off the ground again. The Quiverwing's biggest asset was the initial misdirection and he'd picked it. She stood up and they were sparring. He grabbed a metal file from his breast pocket and hit her with it. She blocked with her arm, but he knew from the sound of the impact that he'd just done some hefty damage. She kicked the tool out of his hand.
"Gee, Negaduck, that was cheap." She said with an intense amount of venom, largely caused by her injury.

"A dime a dozen, literally, thanks to Agatha's Discount Hardware store. It's just the place to go for all those common or garden hard boiled vigilantes that keep popping up in a puff of smoke." He laughed maniacally. For the first time, Negaduck had the upper hand in the fight. He swung again, and the crime fighter went down. He waited, feeling warm from the surge of triumph, watching her scrabble out of the way of his feet.

He stopped from kicking her and instead watched her struggle to get up whilst simultaneously ignoring the pain from the broken arm. She seemed a lot older than he last remembered, her figure had filled out quite substantially and he was struck with a physical inspiration. She stood up and he slammed her against the wall, grabbing her beak so she couldn't scream.

He felt a surge of lust as he pressed himself against her, feeling the youthful curves of her body against his trim kept form. "Oh, god, you have grown up ..." His hand automatically connected with his desire. She jolted in shock but only resisted for a moment.

"They've never been bad enough for you, have they?"
She shuddered, whimpering.
"Enough of this foreplay ..." He grinned up at her. "I know you want this too much to cry out." He let her beak go. She gazed at him with her wide green eyes as he lifted her up against the wall, forcing her legs apart. Her good hand seized his shoulder for support.
"You know you can't do this, Negaduck."
"That's not what it appears to me."
"That's because you're an idiot. The thing is; you're not actually awake."

Negaduck woke up in his hideout. His bed was soaked and he was stiff as a board. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "Shut the frell up, you idiot!" He jumped off the bed, and ran into the bathroom for an ice cold shower.

Before he turned the tap on, however, he had an incredible jolt of fear. Someone was in his hideout.
"Boss?" A bubbling voice came from behind the bathroom door.
"Liquidator?" How could this day possibly get any worse? "Get outta here!" He twisted the tap but nothing happened.

"I wasn't in here ..." Liquidator puddled under the door and reformed in the room. "Now I am."
"Great powers of observation ... now get out or I'll turn you into pudding!" He twisted the tap again. This non-event with the shower had Liquidator all over it. "Did you do something to the mains, you moron?" He hissed.
"Never fear, Liquidator is here ..."

Negaduck squawked and backed up into the taps, but there was no escape in that direction and very shortly he was drenched in dog.
"How's that?" The dog massaged him, soothing aches and even the other problems that he was currently having. He shut his eyes, groaning in relief.

This also was definitely a better way to get rid of the stickiness from his feathers; having someone else do it for him. "Take your mind off that purple menace, Negaduck." Liquidator said calmly. "You've got me now."
"W-what?" Negaduck's eyes flew open, finally waking up enough to interpret Liquidator's ulterior motives. "Get away from me!" He quacked, hating the idea that someone could ever get the upper hand when it came to being shifty.

Liquidator moved out of the shower recess. "You did seem to enjoy the free sample." He gurgled smugly. "I guarantee that Liquidator's brand has the least number of side effects compared to some competitor brands; especially those brands that come in purple."

Negaduck grabbed a towel from the rack, snarling. If not for being water based, Liquidator would've been lying in pieces in the dumpster beneath Negaduck's bedroom window by now.
"The Quiverwing Quack comes with a 100% guaranteed death warrant or your money cheerfully refunded."
"I am not an idiot!" Negaduck snarled at his crime partner. "However I can't control my dreams any more than I can eliminate vampires. So I'm really sorry to tell you this, Licky, but you're not in any of my dreams."

"Oh, really?" Liquidator gurgled, increasing his menace with the irrepressible sound of his emotionally level salesman's voice. "Then don't touch that dial and stay tuned for another episode of Darkwing Duck!"

Negaduck snarled again and reached for his steam-o-matic to use on Liquidator. Instead of the handle, however, what he grabbed felt strangely like a sheet.

Negaduck blinked, finding himself in bed again. He lay there, his heart racing. "I'm still not waking up." He forced himself to sit up, and stared at the clock. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. He grabbed his clothes off the chair and pulled them on. "I gotta wake up. Please, let me be awake this time ..."

"Boss? Are you not up for the heist?" Liquidator bubbled, the plans to the Metro Bank on the round table between the three of them as they sat.

"Sure, fine, whatever." Negaduck blinked away from him, remembering his last dream a little too vividly. He had to think. He had to concentrate. What else had the dream version of Liquidator said?

Negaduck blinked; now he remembered. "It's a set up." He rolled up the plans and threw them behind him. "That caped vigilante's setting us up. Let's wait a week." He looked sternly at Quackerjack. "Oi! Tinker Toy! Are you listening to me, Quackers?"

Quackerjack looked up from his Yahtzee dice. "Sure, boss. You're scared of Darkwing Duck. We understand. Don't we, Licky?"

Liquidator nodded. "Four out of five Fearsome team members suggest not upsetting the resident undead."
"Who's the fifth?" Negaduck queried.
"Megavolt!" Quackerjack jumped up laughing, tipping up his tray of dice, scattering them over the table and onto the floor.
"Well, I'm not counting on his help. All he's got on his brain is his happy home life and his research job." Negaduck paused.

"Oh, yeah! That's right." Quackerjack said, crawling around after his dice.
"And he's resigned from the Fearsome anyway."
"Yay, a six!" Quackerjack jumped up and wrote onto his game sheet. "His kids just love my Destructo Toys. And he pays me for them, even though I'd give them to him for free because he's my bestest best friend in the whole wide ... yikes!"

Negaduck reached back and started up his chainsaw. He went after Quackerjack who got the hint immediately and raced out of the room, down the stairs and out of the building.

"Come back here you piece of no good rotten candy!" On the sidewalk, Negaduck barged through a construction sign as he headed after the bouncing Quackerjack. Without any further warning, there was no longer any ground beneath his feet.

He fell into darkness.

I am reasonably convinced that I am not Negaduck but I do honestly appreciate his point of view sometimes ... Okay, a little more than just sometimes ... Oh, heck, maybe I should write a 'Top Ten Signs That Your Alter Ego is In Fact Negaduck list' and check myself against it before I venture to make such a conclusion ...